“What’s this delicious stuff you brought?!”
“Let’s each have another piece!!”
“This time it’s perilla leaves!”
“I’m so happy too!”
One bottle.
I will never lose.
“Veggies are the best! Meat OUT!!”
“Let’s try mixing three kinds this time!”
“Stack two of each!”
“I’ve never eaten so lavishly, even at Shaolin!”
Three bottles.
Yeah, I’m just getting started.
“Those poor non-vegans who don’t know the taste of veggies!”
“I’m so lucky to have been born a vegan!”
“South Korea is the land of vegans!”
“Hah, the wise can achieve enlightenment through vegetarianism.”
Six bottles.
I still can’t lose.
…
…
…
“Oh no… all the veggies are gone.”
“Right?! It’s really a dilemma!”
“Kanp! You ate too much!”
“What are we all going to do?”
I can’t remember how many bottles we’ve had.
[Are you okay?]
‘I feel like I’m gonna die.’
Four idiots engaged in a pride battle, gulping down alcohol while only eating raw veggies.
Without a single dipping sauce.
Yet, we filled our glasses with smiles, as if we couldn’t lose to each other.
Thanks to that, we downed one bottle, two bottles… the numbers piled up like a snowball.
It was hard to keep track of how many bottles rolled on the floor, and my mind wasn’t exactly clear.
At that moment, the veggies we were using as side dishes were gone.
[This is my chance.]
‘Finally!’
I forced my consciousness awake, like an awakening potion from P’s voice.
My focus was fading, and my head wasn’t working well at all.
But hey, opportunity knocked.
A beam of light in the darkness. A ship that has navigated through the night meeting a lighthouse.
A lifeline to cling to while teetering on the edge of a cliff.
Yeah.
It’s meat time.
But in this situation where we’re all cautious of each other, simply suggesting ‘Should we buy something?’ is clearly a bad move.
If these crazy piranhas were to ask about the menu and dare to buy meat, they’d definitely ridicule me with all their might.
But if I endure the ridicule, will sweet meat wait for me?
Nope.
To us, the smell of meat is more than a piranha sensing blood.
As soon as the meat arrives, it’s already fate that the prepared human piranhas will devour it.
No way.
I can say it a thousand times without getting tired.
No way.
I looked around at everyone, pretending to sound disappointed.
“The side dishes are all gone. Shall we call it a day here?”
“Should we? That’s such a shame!”
“We can’t help it! Shall we start cleaning up?”
“I feel like it’s time for me to wrap things up too.”
Ah.
Why are you all backing out suddenly?
Let’s eat meat, please.
Everyone seems to be in the mood to stop drinking.
Not good.
Reluctantly, I threw out the magical words that would make any drinker finish.
“Really? I was planning to drink more, so it’s a shame if you find this hard after just ‘this much‘.”
Drunk pride.
Even though it’s a useless pride about alcohol.
But even something as pointless as that was enough to make the current loosening atmosphere tighten up again.
“Master! I haven’t even started drinking yet! Elf livers can handle three!”
“You’re tipsy already after just this much? You must’ve lived an easy life.”
“I’ve already sent all the alcohol away with my breathing exercises.”
Comments that in normal times would’ve been overlooked.
But the countless drinks taken had a lethal influence.
My whole body started to sway. Clear judgment was naturally impossible.
Impulses easily triggered by emotion. Rising competitiveness.
And even my meager pride about alcohol, getting stronger the more I drank.
The four of us drunks, including me, turned our last chance of survival at this drinking party away.
Of course, running away from a drinking party is a way to survive.
But at this point, I couldn’t bow my head.
The stigma of being a loser. The worst title engraved until the end.
It would be better to accept death.
Ultimately, we shoved our heads into this childish pride battle.
Doing this even when there’s nothing to gain.
“What will we have for side dishes?!”
“Heh. Kanp, you still need side dishes?”
“No! Just drinks would be enough!”
“Really? I’m fine with just water.”
“Heh, you all are far behind. Only weaklings say that when drinking.”
But.
“I find it a waste to drink water when having alcohol. Beer is enough.”
“Actually, I was talking about wine as my drink!”
“Really? I thought water was just like soju, that’s why I said that.”
“Then let’s all have a drink!”
The atmosphere got way too heated.
‘Stop, stop it, you crazy people…’
[It’s not too late right now.]
If this continues, we really might die.
Cautiously, I brought up a topic.
For the sake of a minimal safety measure.
“Still, having just alcohol feels kind of pathetic. How about at least having some side dishes?”
I just wanted to eat meat.
I didn’t want it to get to this level.
‘Guys, how about we call it a draw?’
[Yeah. A draw isn’t bad.]
“Oh my! Master, now I see you’re a baby!”
“Shinwoo, don’t show off. Why are you acting tough when you can’t even drink?”
“Master, do you understand? This is the difference between you and me.”
Ah.
You really want to do this?
Do you really want to?
‘So, that’s how it is, huh?’
[Stop!!!]
“When I said minimal side dish, I meant liquor!! Fill those cups quickly!!”
“”””Cheers!!!!!!””””
Win or lose, I’m still an idiot.
If so, let me be the winning idiot.
[Idiot bastards…]
*
“Ugh… I hope I’m not already passed out?”
“…..kugh… Don’t underestimate an elf with triple livers.”
“Hah… with this, won’t we run out of alcohol?”
“Uwep…… If everyone’s struggling too much, it’s okay to go to sleep. I’m still fine.”
Right now, we were paying heavily for our earlier indulgence.
Of course, we couldn’t just drink alcohol, so we intermittently replenished with water and side dishes.
The hydration sources were water, barley tea, and drinks.
Of course, water was soju, barley tea was beer, and drinks were wine.
The side dish is naturally liquor.
It’s precious, so just one drink at a time.
[You crazy bastards, please stop!!!]
‘Guys, please surrender. I’ll give you five NoPia coins.’
But contrary to my wish, everyone kept downing drinks, recalling their gag reflex.
Stumbling with unfocused eyes. Barely holding back something from my stomach threatening to come up.
We were all forcing alcohol down our throats.
A small hope began to show.
Thanks to our pointless efforts, we devoured not only the alcohol in the fridge but also the hidden stash in the wardrobe.
However, the moment everyone realized there was no more alcohol.
The bleary-eyed were starting to regain color, and the bravado battle began again.
“Ugh… Master! We’re out of alcohol!”
“Shinwoo, next time prepare more alcohol… Uwep…”
“kugh… I can’t drink much. How could you only prepare this little?”
Everyone was saying we were out of beer, still provoking me like they were perfectly fine.
However, I definitely noticed.
The slight flickers of relief in their eyes.
[If you just bow down now, you can.]
‘No way, you bastards.’
Already, my body was at its limit, but I didn’t care.
You guys are relieved because there’s no more alcohol now, huh?
We haven’t even seen the end yet.
– Bang!!
I put something on the table.
It was the alcohol the snack bar owner had given me earlier.
“Huff…. I anticipated there’d be a shortage, so I prepared some extra!”
I will become your despair today.
Let’s head toward the end.
According to the snack bar owner, it was a discontinued alcohol.
The label partially peeled off, and the remaining marked label read ‘ㅋ틴Q’.
As the light faded from everyone’s eyes, it was my turn to provoke.
“If you’re really struggling, you can go ahead. I’ll drink this alone.”
I hid my trembling hands and, pretending to be calm, spoke softly.
My physical condition was the worst, but this was the best bluff I could manage.
‘Please just admit defeat. Just admit you want to stop.’
[Can’t you just say it out loud!!!!]
How about you all give up?
“What? It looks like it’s too late, so let’s just drink that!”
“I’m fine! If anyone plans to go home, do it now.”
“I’ll show everyone my invulnerability to ten thousand poisons.”
Yeah, these bastards seemed to be pretty crazy too.
My hands were trembling.
Actually, my eyes were spinning.
Or maybe this world is spinning? I don’t know.
Not even able to see the soju glass, we naturally started pouring drinks into paper cups.
Sluuurp as the golden liquid flowed from the glass bottle into the paper cup, steadily filling it up.
The moment the golden glass bottle lost its color and became transparent.
We quickly checked each other’s paper cups.
It was genuinely heartfelt concern coming from the fear of someone drinking less.
Once we confirmed the height of the liquid in our cups was equal, we exchanged glances and lifted our cups simultaneously.
“Even now, it’s not too late! If you stop now, we’ll let it slide!”
“If we back out now, we’ll be cowards! Right, everyone!”
“You little rats! Why is your tongue so long!”
“Heh, who would back out when we’re pledging this alliance?”
We were no longer hiding our trembling hands and eyes.
To be precise, it was more accurate to say we couldn’t hide it.
But as for forced smiles and bravado, we didn’t lose those until the end.
Amidst many anxious glances, we downed our drinks at once.
That was the last memory I had.
*
I was coming back.
Something was bubbling up.
No, this is definitely.
“Gwaaaah!!!”
Before my thoughts could catch up, my body reacted and moved first.
This is beyond thought; it’s in the realm of instinct.
What to say.
Survival instinct.
The sour taste filling my mouth jolted my mind awake.
The scorching summer sun stung my eyes.
Feeling as if I couldn’t sleep anymore, I gently opened my eyes, and reflexively, a dying voice crawled out of my mouth.
“Gurrrrr…”
[Oh, you! Finally, you woke up!]
‘I feel like I’m going to die.’
The master’s gaze was merciless.
Surely, my head had been fine until now, but that sharp headache felt like being crushed in a compression press.
My physical position was also quite bizarre.
My body was half-hanging off the windowsill, and thanks to some strange balance, I was barely holding on.
The catastrophic mess I’d caused was updating in my view in real-time.
What I had eaten were lettuce, perilla leaves, and chili peppers.
Those contributed to the giant ‘Lettuce Perilla Chili Pancakes’ now spread in a gooey state down below.
But right now, the only thought I had was ‘I feel like I’m going to die.’
That thought was more than enough.
As I clutched my throbbing head, I remembered the other three heroines who were in my dorm.
Who knows?
I might have done something ridiculous from drinking.
‘If I don’t remember it, it feels so unfair!’
[… You don’t need to worry about a pink plot unfolding.]
Yet the second I glanced around my room.
According to P, there was no need for such worries.
Instead, I had to worry about something else.
The heroines were indeed in the room.
Only.
Hyeji was in the trash can.
Jeong Ahyeon was in the sink.
And Elcia was in the toilet.
Each one head first into whatever they were in, unconscious.
Considering the signs and the sour smells wafting up,
I started to feel an unease that if I moved those heads, there would be that Lettuce Perilla Chili Pancake mixture underneath.
In a way, Jeong Ahyeon speaking of a pledge makes sense.
We all faced the narrative death of simultaneous vomiting in the same place on the same day.
‘Not heroine salvation, but heroine vomit…’
[Looks like we’ve all become idiotic losers who died together.]
Still, the day we had our gathering was a Friday.
The weekend was still ahead.
Your twenties are like a large capacity battery.
Even if it’s completely drained, just one day is enough to recharge.
Naturally, hangovers like this can be resolved in just a day.
[It’s fortunate that you managed to get up, after all. I was worried since you didn’t wake for two days.]
‘Thank goodness… wait, what?’
A moment of silence laced with an awkward feeling.
Then I asked P again.
‘TWO days…?’
[That’s right! You all were like corpses sleeping soundly throughout the entire weekend!]
I shook my hands, opening my phone.
With the alarming low battery notification, I saw ten missed calls.
And what I wished wasn’t true, there it was, clear as day—the word Monday.
With merely ten minutes before classes started.
God damn, that awful alcohol!
