The deer were losers, but we didn’t execute them.
Every animal was equal in front of the Mountain Lord, after all.
Of course, the deer became a bit less equal compared to the other animals.
“Your four legs are good, but two legs are bad. How dare a deer stand on two legs to turn on Wi-Fi?”
[…Aren’t you also bipedal?]
‘Let’s overlook that since I can switch to four-legged mode in an emergency.’
Meanwhile, I was trying to pass the title of Mountain Lord to Captain Mouse.
This fight’s POG was Captain Mousemerica, after all.
But Captain Mouse kindly, yet clearly, refused it.
“Shinwoo, what kind of conversation are you having?”
“The hero said he would give up the title of Mountain Lord.”
“…… I don’t know what that is, but why?”
“Because he’s going to punish those who don’t join Plus.”
[But there’s Plus on both sides, isn’t there?]
‘It’s better if both join.’
At that moment, Elcia shouted with excitement.
“Husband! These days, there are so many downloads available that you don’t have to join!”
“Captain. It’s this brat.”
“Chirp chirp!!”
Captain threw a flat, round piece of wood he found somewhere at Elcia.
The sharp piece of wood hit Elcia right on the temple.
“Ah! It was the person over there who said it! I’m a Plus member!”
The place Elcia pointed to showed one of the kitchen staff reading a novel.
And it was a text version.
Feeling the gazes on him, the employee quickly ran away, but couldn’t escape Captain Mouse’s punishment.
[What should I call that? Should I say he’s a true reader at least?]
‘Joining is a personal choice, but that’s just a true jerk.’
Noble Captain Mouse executed the kitchen staff and then apologized to Elcia.
And he left me the Disney legal team phone number, saying to contact him if help was ever needed.
As soon as Captain Mouse disappeared, I tore up the paper with the phone number.
‘This kind of thing feels ominous.’
[It’s not a double-edged sword; it’s just a knife half-stuck in your neck.]
At that moment, the fainted martial arts deer was slowly regaining consciousness and starting to rise.
I approached the deer and silently exchanged glances, and the deer noticed my gaze and met my eyes.
A brief silence.
And that silence was broken when I opened my mouth.
“Did you shake off the Heavenly Demon?”
The deer, surprised by my words, soon began to look relieved.
Shortly after, the deer gathered its front legs and assumed a fighting stance.
I responded to the deer with a fighting stance.
“First, strike the sky of Yangji. That’s the path the Heavenly Demon that Nopia is aiming for.”
“U-reeeek!”
With that, the martial arts deer turned its back and moved away from us.
It disappeared like a small dot, and only then did Peace speak to me.
[You could have said to strike the sky of Disney instead, right?]
‘That’s not a sky; it’s a universe. Touching it would be a bad idea.’
The beasts began to enjoy a banquet of late-night snacks hastily prepared by the kitchen staff.
Of course, the deer were excluded.
There was no mercy to give to losers; just letting them live was enough.
In the meantime, Elcia slyly joined the beast group and was eating the late-night snacks together.
[…Why does it not seem awkward?]
‘You can’t tell who the beast is anymore.’
After the banquet, the beasts greeted me before returning to where they belonged one by one.
Cleaning up was, of course, the deer’s responsibility.
The deer lost their central figure and turned into mere labor.
Meanwhile, only Jeong Ahyeon had not come to her senses yet.
“Hey! Jeong Ahyeon! I won, right? I’ll make a wish later.”
“Ugh-”
“Shinwoo, this time you broke a bit too much, huh?”
“Ugh-”
“Change your laugh. It’ll be hard if there’s a plagiarism claim.”
Even on the same platform, plagiarism of laughs is a problem.
Manager Lee was careful not to plagiarize cries as well.
Just as Hyeji was half-dragging the dazed Jeong Ahyeon away, one of the kitchen staff handed me an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“Ah! This is the wild boar we caught earlier for lunch.”
“Husband! Give me some too!”
“……Take it in moderation.”
“Yes! I’ll take it in moderation!”
Elcia took the envelope and grabbed some meat.
A bit too much.
The weight of the returned envelope felt much lighter than what was initially handed to the kitchen staff.
[…Isn’t it too little?]
‘Even the Monster Hunter Guild would steal less than this.’
But today’s victory was too sweet, so I decided to overlook it as a little charm.
After all, I hadn’t lost anything.
After that, everyone returned to their dormitory, and as soon as I entered, I checked the meat I just received.
The kitchen staff said they had portioned most of the pig parts appropriately.
However, what remained in the envelope was only hind leg meat.
The part most disregard from the butcher.
‘Sigh… Elcia, you brat… moderation indeed.’
[…At least try tasting it.]
Taking Peace’s suggestion, I decided to grill a very small amount.
The taste of the grilled wild boar meat was truly beyond my expectations.
In a very bad way.
It was tough.
Damn tough.
Even though I sprinkled pepper, the stench did not fade at all.
It felt like chewing on smelly rubber bands.
‘This is f*cking inedible. It’s hopeless even for a stew.’
[Just throw it away.]
The remaining grilled meat that I hadn’t eaten naturally bought a one-way ticket to the trash can.
The uncooked meat was tied up haphazardly and thrown into the freezer.
Materially, I honestly hadn’t incurred any loss, but I felt too sorry for my tongue and teeth.
‘Sorry… I’m tarnished…’
[How about giving it to the beasts after grilling it a bit?]
‘If I give this, there will definitely be a rebellion. It’s the second Imo Rebellion.’
With no money to spend, I couldn’t even cleanse my mouth with beer.
It was truly a hell of a situation.
*
Later when I looked it up, I found out that wild boar meat should be aged to eat.
Otherwise, it certainly wouldn’t be edible.
However, Elcia and the escort elf said they had eaten it all without leaving anything on the day they received it.
“…..Huh? Wasn’t it tough?”
“Yes! It was softer than tree bark!”
“…I’m sorry to ask this, but do you have any leftovers?”
“……I have a little, so I’ll give it to you tomorrow.”
Then I remembered Elcia taking the meat and expressed a bit of dissatisfaction.
“Still, isn’t going only for the tasty parts crossing the line?”
“…I’m sorry. It’s harder to control than I thought.”
Elcia answered while slightly downcast.
But I didn’t plan on saying much, so I decided to let it go.
Even if I had it, I felt like I would just throw it all away anyway.
“Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Last time, I unconsciously mixed up fried food and toilet paper again.
It seemed like there might be something, but I chose not to touch it.
[Are you not curious?]
‘I’m curious, but that might be a delicate issue.’
Since the war happened last time, I ordered the deer to take turns cleaning the restaurant during dinner time.
Originally, it was something I should’ve done, but the war criminals need to be utilized as much as possible.
I’d make sure they couldn’t even dream of rebellion again.
‘I love unpaying subcontracting.’
[…You’re becoming more like a professor.]
Besides, after the war, security was no longer needed.
The awakened martial arts deer signed that they wouldn’t approach the restaurant again as a sign of gratitude.
Some minimal security was handled by the beast friends occasionally, so I didn’t even need to intervene.
It was the completion of the beast’s autonomous defense system.
Naturally, my restaurant duties became much less complicated.
All I had to do was sit in the restaurant and chat or read.
If not, then just waking up from a nap.
As of now, Hyeji, Elcia, and I were lounging on the restaurant chairs.
Elcia, on the other hand, was almost lying down while hogging the food provided by the restaurant.
Even while looking elsewhere, her moving hands and mouth was still fascinating.
Meanwhile, Hyeji, while drawing a blueprint, looked at Elcia with a sulky expression and muttered.
“I can’t tell if you’re an elf or a piglet watching you stuff your face.”
“Oh my~ unlike our younger sister, everything goes to one place for me~.”
Hyeji, with a vacant look in her eyes, brushed her nonexistent chest.
Although there wasn’t even a chest to brush.
Then she suddenly pointed at Elcia and began to laugh.
“……For someone like that, your sides are really sticking out a lot, huh?”
“Shut up.”
Elcia lightly pinched her side.
Then she quickly smacked her hand that was still moving automatically to drop the fries.
The atmosphere between the two began to heat up.
“If she bumps into our younger sister, I feel like an extra wall will be added~.”
“You lived off tree bark, but a stump eating another tree, isn’t that fratricide?”
It didn’t start just as a rivalry; it was pure harassment.
And of course.
“…It’s too heavy on my chest, so I want to share some, but it’s a real shame I can’t give you any.”
“…Since you stuffed yourself too much, you became a pig, so eating wild boar should also count as fratricide.”
It wasn’t going to end with just one round.
Before I knew it, bright smiles emerged on their faces.
However, a sight that didn’t quite match those smiles was also visible.
A gun in Hyeji’s hand.
And the ominous butterflies starting to manifest around Elcia.
More fighting would be dangerous.
To stop this, the protagonist had to step in.
First, it was Hyeji.
“Hyeji.”
“Why? I’m not angry.”
“Don’t go too far. Even if there are flaws, you’re still attractive enough.”
Hyeji said nothing more and maintained a smile on her face.
Since Hyeji seemed somewhat resolved, it was Elcia’s turn.
“Elcia.”
“Speak! Husband!”
“You don’t look fat at all. It doesn’t even look that obvious.”
Elcia’s smile deepened.
Then Hyeji and Elcia began to laugh heartily as they faced each other.
It seems my intentions were conveyed well.
I even emphasized it in bold just in case, so I was really glad they understood.
‘They’re so happy, it’s wonderful.’
[You should just die.]
Their laughter continued unabated.
The change only occurred for me.
Suddenly, Elcia’s butterflies wrapped around my body and pinned me against the restaurant wall.
Simultaneously, Hyeji was laughing while aiming her gun at me.
At that moment, a number above Hyeji’s head went up by one.
“Shinwoo? What do you think I’ve been through?”
“…Three-shot burst?”
Even with my answer, Hyeji’s smile didn’t fade.
Only now, looking closely, her eyes didn’t seem to be smiling.
“It’s a rapid-fire, you bastard.”
It was already too late.
Hyeji immediately switched her trigger control to rapid-fire, then filled my body’s corners with bullets.
Not a single bullet spilled out.
The two points of conscience Hyeji showed.
One was that they were rubber bullets.
The other was that my Juji wasn’t targeted.
‘Maybe I can see the aftermath.’
[Worry about seeing tomorrow’s sun instead.]
After the second magazine exchange was over, Elcia finally released me.
Then Hyeji and Elcia started laughing at each other again.
“Sister, come on. We need to see this through.”
“I’ll let you know who’s on top today, little sister.”
The two, beaming with smiles, left me, slumped on the floor, to exit the restaurant leisurely.
Amid the pain, I let out a groan, noticing a squirrel approaching me.
It seemed like it came to help me.
“Cough. You came to help. You’re the only one—”
But the squirrel suddenly raised its front paws sharply and was about to poke my eye out.
Looking closely, the squirrel’s eyes weren’t the eyes of someone coming to save me.
They were filled with sheer desire and ambition.
That beast was aiming for my life.
More precisely, it was aiming for the title of Mountain Lord.
‘You’re not Kyaru, yet you betray me?’
I swung my hand to slap the squirrel.
As a result, the squirrel flew far away and got stuck in an outlet.
“-Squirrel Thunder!!!!!!”
Then the squirrel’s whole body was electrocuted and shook before it utterly perished.
It was the miserable fate of a failed challenger.
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