“So, Elcia, why the hell are you here?”
Right now, we’re happily doing the dishes (not the foam kind).
Elcia took the plate I scrubbed with detergent and rinsed it under the water.
All the gunk mixed with soap flowed away with the water.
Then, the escort elf received the plate, now clean, and put it on the drying rack.
Without missing a beat, Elcia answered,
“I tried to pay for our meal with Elf coins, but they dropped even more than before I entered the restaurant!”
“So you couldn’t handle it and ran away, huh? Just to get caught?”
“Yes! That’s right!”
“Damn it, that’s my money wrapped up in there too.”
Then Elcia proudly placed her hands on her hips and said,
“What’s yours is mine, husband.”
“….What about yours?”
“Obviously, that’s mine too!”
Elcia’s bright smile was so stunning it almost made me forget we were doing dishes.
Except for the dog noises escaping her mouth, which made my head throb.
“Why do you even believe in that junk coin?”
“It’s definitely going to rise!”
Then suddenly, Elcia lowered her head and mumbled,
“In about a year and a bit.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing!”
I turned my gaze towards the escort elf quietly moving plates to the dryer.
“Hey. Why are you here?”
“……It’s the mission of the escort to follow the World Tree welcoming representative anywhere they go.”
“That’s surprisingly normal. I see you in a different light now.”
At my words, the escort elf flinched for a second.
Eventually, unable to bear her guilty conscience, she confessed the truth.
“……Actually, I was using the representative as bait to escape but got caught.”
[Where did the elf I knew go, and why are only these scum here?]
‘The ear goblin really is like that, damn it.’
Before I could finish my thought, Elcia and the escort elf suddenly stopped washing dishes and grabbed each other by the collars with their wet hands.
“Hey! You used me as bait?!”
“The welcoming representative of the World Tree! Are you seriously throwing all that money into some weird junk coin!!!”
“You said it was going to rise, yet you took out loans and cashed in your retirement to put in there!!!”
“I put it in because you said it was going up!!! Now there’s only a blue graph!!!”
“It’s definitely going up!!! I swear I saw it!!!”
“It’s never gone up, so what are you talking about!!!”
But there was one strange thing.
The elf coin, despite its ridiculous rises and falls, was still not delisted.
If it had just been delisted, I would have given up my hopes by now.
In that sense, hope is, in some way, the same as a terrible despair.
Their genuine quarrel was touching.
[Who do you think will win?]
‘I’ll bet on Elcia.’
But that peace didn’t last long.
The kitchen supervisor caught them and stepped in as they confirmed the cycle had stopped.
And thus, their physical and mental exchange ended up… abruptly fizzled out.
*
[Please visit the nearest bank.]
The mechanical voice casually spilled from the ATM as I put my card in.
With the bank app blocked, I had expected I wouldn’t be able to withdraw cash.
But still, isn’t it human nature to only realize something when you’ve gone all the way up to it, despite the sign telling you not to go?
I couldn’t accept this outcome either.
As a result, I was now standing in front of the ATM, despairing over reality.
Basically, the academy provides a small amount of money for living and dining expenses into each student’s account.
The official reason is to appreciate the value of money and cultivate a sense of actual spending.
But in reality, it’s a little different.
In the early days, they didn’t distribute money but instead allowed students to use all facilities for free.
This led to frequent occurrences of students eating everything in the snack bar within a day.
Ultimately, the academy, unable to cover the expenses, changed to a system where they actually gave money instead of providing everything for free.
‘Damn, these alcoholics.’
[Are you the only one who would?]
I returned to the dorm, weakly tossing aside my now useless wallet.
Instead, I grabbed my phone and began calling the bank.
The hold music seemed like it would never end.
At last, I was connected to a bank representative.
“Hello, I’m Kim Shinwoo, a user of this bank.”
– “Yes, hello, customer.”
“I heard my cards and account have been suspended, could you tell me why?”
After a brief identity verification through personal details, the representative started checking my account information.
– “Oh? Customer? You’re registered as an Ability User?”
“Ah, yes, that’s correct. I was registered last Saturday.”
– “As you know, once you’re registered as an Ability User, all banking operations become impossible.”
“…..Why?”
That was a shocking revelation.
But the representative calmly continued regarding the harsh reality.
– “You need to receive a special security card and certificate for Ability Users, then you can resume normal banking operations.”
In that moment, I remembered something I had forgotten while drunk on the excitement of ability registration.
As an Ability User, you can only use banking facilities if you have the special security card and certificate.
‘Ah, damn it.’
[This is bad.]
I froze for a moment, but the representative continued to rattle off their lines mechanically.
– “This cannot be issued on weekends and should be obtained by visiting on weekdays.”
– “Deposits into existing accounts are possible, but withdrawals require a security card and certificate.”
– “If there are insurance products or subscription products linked to your account, they may automatically expire due to withdrawal restrictions, so please be cautious.”
– “Do you have any other inquiries?”
“No… none.”
The call ended with the representative’s polite farewell.
But all I could think about was one thing.
‘Academy, damn it, you idiots.’
[There really are crazy people who register their abilities on a Saturday.]
Should I curse the academy for their incompetence, or be impressed by the bank’s quick processing?
I was stuck not knowing which way to feel and just letting out my frustrations.
*
The semester had started, but that didn’t really matter right now.
Currently, I was feverishly calling various departments, including the academy’s personnel team.
I expressed my utmost grievance, begging them to let me go to the bank immediately, but all I got back were cold responses.
– “I’m sorry, but according to academy rules, first-year students cannot leave on weekdays.”
– “We may have to discuss this internally, but it will likely take some time to reach a decision.”
– “There’s no precedent for granting leave permission, so it’s difficult.”
‘Damn it. I’m the precedent, you idiots.’
[Maybe expecting flexibility was foolish of you.]
Asking for my bank account to be opened again didn’t work either.
– “A student’s account falls under personal information we cannot access.”
– “That matter can only be requested by the student themselves.”
– “You are responsible for managing your own account.”
I requested that the monthly stipend be given in cash as a backup plan, but…
– “We can’t provide cash due to the unclear usage.”
– “Due to tax issues, it’s complicated; we can’t just give you cash.”
– “We can’t make an exception for you, Shinwoo.”
Even that got rejected.
Moreover, they began questioning me about the responsibility for this situation like some kind of sick joke.
– “Registering your ability must be cumbersome, but you benefited from us doing it for you, right?”
– “It’s not like we wanted to take our time on it, if this is unfair you just have to do it yourself.”
– “That’s not related to us.”
– “Isn’t it true that you initially entered without revealing your ability? You should be grateful for what we did for you.”
– “You only registered us, and now you want us to hand over everything? It’s outright robbery.”
‘These academy bastards really need to be wiped out.’
[On graduation day, I’ll burn this place down. Bigger than the fire in the Yilung Forest.]
I’m still human too; I need to eat to survive.
Finally, I found a way out.
After a dramatic compromise, I agreed to work late at the cafeteria after classes in exchange for a small amount of money and meals.
So right now…
“So, Shinwoo, what are you doing here?”
“You turned to the food industry?”
“Guard duty, damn it.”
I was working in the restaurant.
I was responsible for odd jobs and security.
Odd jobs mostly involved simple and dirty tasks.
Filling empty food bins, moving food waste, unclogging drains.
“Shinwoo, why do you need security?”
“A purple pig is coming to steal tteokbokki!”
“Master, did you say that pig is riding a roe deer?”
“Yeah, that’s right. How did you know?”
“Look over there.”
Jeong Ahyeon pointed with her finger, and sure enough, there was a duo of pig and roe deer.
The roe deer, straining to get the pig off its back, suddenly let out a horrible scream as it spotted me.
“Shinwoo, what’s it saying?”
“It wants to know if we’re dueling or sparring!”
“…….What happened during the vacation, Master?”
“Hey! Roe deer! We’re sparring!”
As soon as I finished speaking, the roe deer assumed a stance.
Unlike ordinary roe deer, it took a posture you’d see in a martial arts novel.
When the poised roe deer charged at me, I decided to respond with the spirit of martial arts, using Shaolin techniques.
[Hundred Steps Divine Fist (백보신권) rapid fire!]
– Tatatatata!!!!
Hyeji swiftly responded as if we were playing a quick spot engagement, even without me saying a word.
She truly is a reliable support character.
The M60 series.
An automatic rifle known for its exceptional reliability.
Right now, I was manifesting the Hundred Steps Divine Fist.
Even with my horrible aim, the swaggering movements of the deer got it hit a lot, like it was poison.
The fallen deer looked at me indignantly, pointing its front hoof at my M60.
“Listen well, beast.”
I held up the machine gun and blew on the muzzle.
Watching the row deer grit its teeth at my antics, I said,
“M60 is authentic martial arts.”
