Chapter 6

〈 Chapter 6 〉 Wanted

*

Where have I heard this before?

It’s like riding a train—when you look back, it’s all twists and turns, but while you’re on it, you only think of going straight. I thought I had lived a straight life, but looking back, it’s all twists and turns. That’s life, I guess.

I vaguely remember it, but since the outlines of that memory are fuzzy, it probably came from something I heard in my past life. After all, there’s no way there would be trains in this world.

Yeah, at this point, I have no choice but to acknowledge it cleanly. All the smooth plains I thought my past life was? Turns out it was an endless abyss.

Where did I take a wrong turn? Why didn’t I notice the signs of divergence back then?

Unnecessary regrets swirling around in my thoughts kicked up one brutal fragment of memory I wanted to bury.

That day, the sky was clear without a single cloud.

Unlike my rancid heart filled with dark clouds.

◈◈◈

There was a party I momentarily belonged to.

No, let me rephrase that. A party I merely dipped my toes into—that I was just associated with in name only.

If their talents shone, their brilliance would surely rival the sun. My status, which had been considered promising in my hometown, felt like a 1-watt flashlight sold in a stationery store compared to them.

“Your child has talent but doesn’t try hard.”

“No, Mom. I have no talent and don’t try at all.”

However, their talents weren’t fully bloomed from the very beginning.

Just like a butterfly that has transformed into a cocoon had to curl up inside as a pupa, when I first met them, their abilities were on par with mine or even beyond—at least, I was at a level where I could gauge their talents.

But as we went through more adventures, overcoming adversity together, the gap in power between me and them began to widen to such an extent that I couldn’t even perceive the distance.

Fables. Blooming. Leaping. Soaring.

The explosive growth of our party was truly unparalleled—the kind of level that was just ridiculously breathtaking. Except for me, who was just cluelessly standing there like a mascot of a baseball team whose existence was ambiguous.

As all the party members reached the pinnacle of their respective fields, I alone had failed to accomplish anything, merely repeating my pitiful stagnation.

In that moment, I felt the heart of a sniper from that pirate cartoon I used to watch in my past life, who couldn’t keep up with his comrades’ monstrous growth.

Ah, Captain Usopp. What kind of battles have you fought?

But what made my inferiority complex even more miserable was that none of the party members deemed me a hindrance enough to cast out.

The trust that originated from a tight brotherhood developed through shared life and death experiences, not from pity or sympathy. They believed without a doubt that I would reach the same level as them in the near future.

Truly baseless, and without any assurance.

So, before it became too late, I decided to abandon their trust in advance.

The figure of someone knowing exactly when to leave is a beautiful sight. Isn’t it better to deal with it quickly rather than dragging things out?

To reach a higher level as a party, I had to pull out the weed that I had to let go. I had to remove the burden. I needed to shed the rust.

To enlighten them about that uncomfortable truth they were desperately denying, I left only a letter stating my intention to leave the party and departed from their side.

It would be a lie to say I had no regret at all. The colorful journey I had shared with them, laughing and crying together, was indeed a lot of fun and offered meaningful lessons in my life.

However, the prowess to overcome adversity and make it one’s sustenance is a privilege granted only to a handful of the strong. I had only been feasting on the leftovers due to my innate good fortune, and I’ve never been one to seek out excess.

In short.

I have no right to be with them. With my strength, I’m inadequate.

The raw truth I didn’t want to reveal was so ugly that I wished to keep it hidden. A wave of loss swept through my thoughts, but I also felt an unknown sense of liberation.

Oh, I see. So this is the end.

In a dungeon teeming with monsters, getting left behind because I couldn’t keep up with the party’s rapid advance.

Getting caught up with the party members who unhesitatingly inflicted physical torture in the name of training and forced to watch dream-like phenomena in 1080p HD until I forgot about it.

Now, the days of being closely monitored for every move under the pretense of needing to protect me, the team’s healer, even outside of dungeons, are finally over.

Huh? Isn’t this the best?

Just as such thoughts passed through my mind, my body had already long crossed the border. It was the moment I first realized how swiftly and nimbly my pitiful legs could move.

Just like a pitiful soul battered by the storms of reality escaping to a temple to wash away the grime of the secular world, I visited my hometown for the first time in a while, intending to leisurely peel away the memories of turmoil engraved in every corner of my body.

Yeah, that was the plan.

If only I hadn’t heard one shocking piece of news, not quite from the outskirts of town but far too lacking for a city.

A wanted poster hanging grandly in the village square. A familiar, shabby montage that I see every morning when I wash my face chilled my thoughts.

【We are looking for this man】

◎Name: Regis Lowville.

◎Race: Human (29 years old). Height 185cm. White hair. Pale eyes.

◎Features: Deep scars on right hand. Often bumps his head in low areas or ends up with a mustache when drinking dairy beverages—many of such clumsy behaviors are often quite deliberate to entice innocent girls.

◎Other information: Semi-ranked Priest.

◎Must be captured without a scratch.

◎Reward: 100 million gil.

Right after that, I gave up counting the number of gazes piercing into me.

Anyone who’s seen the last scene of the movie ‘John Wick 2’ might easily make the connection.

I had expected some suspicion about my sudden disappearance, but I never dreamed of such immediate action.

They had been doing just fine without me. Honestly, I thought they might not even notice I was gone for about a week.

Should I be touched? Or not?

At least if the rumors scribbled in the characteristics section weren’t true, I would have felt somewhat moved.

“I never enticed any innocent girls… Hero…”

I murmured my impossible supplication toward the party’s leader, the one who had dragged me into that collection of superhumans.

Thinking back, ever since I got entangled with ‘her,’ there has never been a single instance where my life flowed in the direction I intended.

It feels like I’m trapped in the trunk of a car that drives recklessly, taken along on a journey without a clear destination—what powerlessness. What’s worse, the driver is completely oblivious to how erratic he’s driving. Oh dear.

“This wanted poster! It has the royal family’s emblem on it! It seems real!”

“100 million gil!? That’s enough to live comfortably without working for ten years!”

“Hey, look over there! That person! That face! It’s the spitting image of the montage!”

As the surrounding noise intensified, my heart grew even more unsettled.

It seems that all my journeys may not have been in vain. Even amidst my turbulent thoughts, my body had already completed its plan to withdraw from this place.

Compared to the time when I was longing for the party members returning from a reconnaissance mission in a monster lair, this kind of crisis was nothing.

Now, the only thing I can call a concern is one thing.

From now on, where will I live and how will I survive?

I left all the money except the bare minimum for travel, so with living in my hometown becoming impossible, it’s only natural that my means of livelihood has become uncertain.

No choice. Given the circumstances, I have to check in at the Vatican for a job.

I’m not keen on it, but if it’s under those who regard people wielding Divine Power as chosen by God and give them special treatment, even a half-baked Priest like me should at least be able to make ends meet for a bit.

That was the light-hearted mindset I had. Carelessly stepping into the Vatican, a place I hadn’t visited once since I was officially promoted to Priest. And now, saying this is pointless, but to soothe my restless heart, I’d like to add a line of regret.

I shouldn’t have done it.

*