I attempted to smash the chihuahua’s skull.
But immediately, that quick-witted dog started snuggling up to Hyeji.
Even worse, he was acting all cutesy with her, totally different from when it was just me.
He was honestly the definition of a horny dog.
‘Soon, there will be a ranking adjustment.’
[You? Are you really planning to hit that dog?]
‘No way I’m actually gonna hit him.’
[… Just a moment ago, weren’t you threatening to turn him into a chihuahua?]
No matter how crazy I am, I’m still a civilized human.
I can’t just swing my fist around all willy-nilly.
‘Let’s have a chat to sort out the hierarchy.’
[What??? What kind of nonsense is that??? How is that even possible? Are you a sorcerer from some other world?]
It seemed like Piece still didn’t know that there was a way for anyone to turn into a dog.
‘If I drink, I become a dog, right?’
[And?]
‘So after drinking a bit, we can totally communicate.’
[…Fine, fuck. Make sure to talk it out with your own kind.]
Just then, Mom came out calling Hyeji, probably because dinner was ready.
“Hyeji? It’s getting late, so are you staying for dinner?”
“Really? Are you serious?”
“Of course. You’re the first person my Shinwoo has ever invited home.”
“Thank you so much!”
It’s standard for Mom to treat guests to a meal on their first visit.
Plus, she sounded relieved for some reason.
“I never imagined that my idiot son would bring home such a pretty girl. I’m honestly relieved.”
“Mom, why are you suddenly hitting me?”
The temperature difference in how she treated Hyeji and me was way too much.
And I’m a guy too!
Of course, I’d prefer a pretty girl over just some dude.
In that moment, Mom shot me a cold glare.
“Hey, son. I cleaned your room when we moved, you know?”
“…What?”
“Do you have any idea how shocked I was when I saw it?”
“…….Fuck, no way.”
“At first, I thought you had that kind of preference—”
I felt like I had to seal away the abyss that was about to be unleashed.
I quickly interrupted Mom and shouted anxiously.
“No, fuck! That’s just the crazy guy from next door’s life work that he gave me while fishing!!!”
“Just hearing that makes me feel a bit relieved. Until yesterday, I was seriously considering disowning you.”
[…Sounds like your mother saw it.]
‘Ryu Kang-hyuk, you little shit, for real.’
Naturally, Hyeji, who didn’t have a clue about the situation, just tilted her head curiously.
Then she asked me, puzzled.
“Shinwoo? What’s that about?”
“……Sometimes, human malice just wanders around in reality.”
Ignoring Hyeji who was probing for more info, I took a seat at the dining table.
A lavish feast had been prepared.
Mom must have put in some extra effort now that Hyeji was here.
But.
“……Mom? The spread seems a bit odd.”
“What’s wrong? Isn’t everything necessary?”
[This looks like a meal with a clear agenda.]
‘That’s certainly the case.’
The variety of food was impressive.
Nutritionally sound but somehow leaning towards something.
Grilled eel. Black garlic. Asparagus. Oysters. Seaweed. Abalone with butter. Abalone porridge. Chive pancakes.
And for a drink, some raspberry wine.
Even snacks prepared for after the meal included almonds and bananas.
It was all very blatant.
As if someone was trying to inject energy into me.
Right.
I was talking about my dad across the table.
He was forcing a smile while his hands trembled.
“Hey, honey? There sure are a lot of dishes today?”
“Well, my son brought a pretty girl over, so we had to do this much, right?”
“Ha… haha.”
At this point, it seemed like Hyeji was catching on to the menu situation and her face was turning bright red.
Seems like she was misunderstood as my girlfriend.
I had to clear up that misunderstanding quickly.
“Ah, uh, that…..”
“…Mom? Just to preempt any misunderstandings, I invited Hyeji here as a friend.”
“Is that so? I guess I jumped the gun there. Just wait a moment?”
“Oh… right… friend… for sure… fuck.”
[You’re definitely a dog too, huh.]
Fuck, why again.
Mom and Hyeji’s gazes shifted.
Mom was giving me a slightly disapproving look.
Hyeji looked super disappointed.
But thankfully Mom didn’t press any further and quickly headed to the kitchen.
This time, she was preparing steak.
As a fire starter, Mom quickly cooked up the food for Hyeji and me in no time.
Before we knew it, two chunks of steak were placed on our plates.
The savory scent of butter was making my mouth water.
“Eat up! I did reverse searing on these for you.”
“Thanks, I will!”
“……I’ll enjoy it, ma’am.”
Hyeji, who had been looking a bit gloomy, roughly cut her steak and stuffed it in her mouth.
She was chopping away like she was venting some frustration.
But that gloom didn’t last long.
Satisfied with the taste, Hyeji’s expression brightened, and she began savoring the steak.
However, there was way too much food in front of us.
Worried about leaving leftovers, I asked Mom.
“But Mom, what are we gonna do with all this food?”
“Well? You have to eat it all, of course?”
“Umm… okay.”
Mom said it like it was no big deal.
By now, most of the food on the table had been claimed by Dad.
Now, rather than worrying about leftover food, I was anxious about what Dad was about to face.
Just then, a number popped up over Dad’s head.
And a mirror fragment appeared.
[Want to have a look?]
‘Let’s check it out.’
Through the mirror fragment, I saw Dad’s future before the regression.
There he was, happily asleep on the couch after playing video games late into the night.
But the moment I returned to the original timeline, a number popped up over Mom’s head too.
As I peered into the mirror fragment created by Mom’s regression, I saw Dad literally getting penetrated by Mom.
[Didn’t you travel when you were enrolling in school? Weren’t you pregnant then?]
‘I guess that failed, so now you’re bombarding him?’
[Poor thing. Your father’s life force is truly hanging by a thread.]
‘Dad’s gonna die soon.’
After returning to the original timeline, we continued our peaceful meal.
When we finished eating, Hyeji started clearing the dishes.
Naturally, she expressed her gratitude.
“Ma’am! Thank you for the delicious dinner. I’ll take care of the dishes.”
“Oh~ I’m glad you liked it. But since you’re the first guest, let’s save it for next time, okay?”
“Okay! I’ll definitely help out next time.”
“Thank you. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a sensible daughter-in-law like you?”
“Daughter-in-law…… heh.”
Hyeji came and sat next to me, completely relaxed.
But I couldn’t hear what Hyeji and Mom were chatting about.
I was too worried about Dad fidgeting in his seat.
After some time, Hyeji finally stood up.
It was time for her to go home.
“Ma’am! Sir! Thank you so much for dinner!”
“It was nice meeting you. Come by again.”
“Sure. Take care on your way home.”
“Thank you! Goodbye!”
As Hyeji stepped out, I followed her out.
“Hyeji, are you sure you don’t need a ride?”
“Are you worried about me because it’s late?”
Well, I was kind of concerned.
“No, I just don’t want someone picking a fight with you and getting wrecked.”
“……I can’t argue with that, it’s just too messed up.”
Not Hyeji, but someone else.
Still, I planned to see her off at least to the first floor.
I quietly got into the elevator with Hyeji.
As we got off, Hyeji turned away from me and started walking.
“Don’t worry! It’s so close, I’ll be there in five minutes!”
“Okay, got it. Call me if there’s a problem.”
“Can I call you when I’m writing an incident report at the police station?”
“……I’ll help you as a witness.”
Hyeji turned around and waved goodbye, and I waved back.
“Thanks for having me over today! I’ll invite you over soon!”
“Sure, looking forward to it! Take care!”
“Yes! See you soon!”
After seeing Hyeji off, I returned home.
But there was no sign of the door opening.
Just as I knocked and asked Mom to open up.
“Mom, please open the door.”
– Click.
I heard the sound of the door chain being locked.
I was about to call, but before that, I received a text message.
Of course, the sender was Mom.
Mom [If you disturb me, you’ll die.]
Looks like she’s already in penetration mode.
In any case, I couldn’t just go inside right now.
‘At this rate, the red number over Dad’s head has probably gone up by one.’
[What are you gonna do? Call Hyeji back?]
‘I just sent her home. Guess I’ll just have a drink.’
I strolled over to a nearby bar and started drinking alone, looking all pitiful.
I downed shots of soju like it was nothing.
Before I realized it, it was already 3 AM.
At first, I was just pushing down the basic side dishes with the soju.
Then the owner started serving me more dishes as a service.
And where there are side dishes, there’s bound to be more booze.
[You’re just looking for excuses to drink, aren’t you!]
‘If there’s food, of course I’m gonna drink.’
Before I knew it, I was getting a nice buzz going.
But my phone remained silent.
[What if I end up sleeping outside tonight?]
‘Oh crap, should I grab a few boxes to use as a blanket?’
Just then, my phone vibrated.
The sender this time was Mom again.
Anxious to know whether I could come home or not, I cautiously checked the message.
Mom [We’re done early today. Hurry home.]
What a relief.
At least I was spared a night on the streets.
[Looks like I’ll be able to sleep at home after all.]
‘Phew…… Is this how life is?’
Time to head back home again.
When I went to pay the bar tab, suddenly the owner and all the staff came out and bowed 90 degrees to me.
Even the owner looked like he was crying.
‘Ah, today I’ve “saved” this bar.’
[For once, try saving something properly!!!]
When I got back home, my phone buzzed again.
I wondered if Mom changed her mind and quickly checked it.
Thankfully, it was the door lock password.
I input the password and walked in, greeted by the chihuahua.
Of course, it was showing its teeth.
[Looks like it’s about to bite me again.]
‘Don’t worry. From now on, it’s conversation time.’
I was feeling pretty buzzed.
Thanks to that, I was now in a state to have a chat with the chihuahua.
At first, the chihuahua kept growling, showing its wariness, but soon enough we had a heartfelt conversation and understood each other.
And that day,
Our home was no longer without pets.
Instead, I gained a new sibling.
A chihuahua.
His name is Choco.
He’s my older brother.
[How on earth are you even talking to me!!!!!]
‘I told you. When I get drunk, I become a dog.’
[Is that something that should come from a human’s mouth!!!]
‘Why not? Politicians say all sorts of dog nonsense from their mouths without being drunk.’
They’re amazing because they spout that nonsense without any intoxicants.
I still have a long way to go.
[You just drank and turned into a dog!!!]
‘Watch your words. My brother is a dog too.’
[And why! Do you claim to be the younger sibling!]
‘You’ve been here longer than me. So, I have to treat you like an older brother.’
After exchanging a bro-fist with Choco Hyung, I headed into the room I was using as a storage space.
Surrounded by the scattered junk.
As I cleared a spot and finally found my blanket shoved deep inside, I felt grateful not to have to lie down on the bare floor.
I laid it out and fell onto the bed.
‘Guess I made it back home.’
[… This feels different from the family I envisioned.]
Though it’s quite far from the typical family picture,
This too is a form of family.
‘That’s just how families are.’
With that thought, I quickly drifted off to sleep.
