〈 Episode 331 〉 Poison (？) is always a matter of usage.
*
“Shinwoo, are you okay? How about resting a bit more?”
Caressy asked me with a worried expression, a card pinched between her index and middle fingers.
But I cautiously declined her offer.
“No, I’m fine. I’ve rested enough.”
“…Hmm…”
[The Yellow Monkey has had enough rest.]
‘Dog woman, that’s racism.’
[The original text is White Wolf, so it’s still racism either way.]
‘……True, f*ck. Wakanda, you bastards.’
Caressy seemed disappointed, licking her lips slightly.
“But still, if you change your mind, just let me know.”
“Got it.”
“I’ll book a hotel right away.”
She approached me, whispering softly with an alluring smile.
“And as soon as we enter the hotel, we’re going to have a hell of a time together.”
“……What about the others?”
“I’ll tell the concubines to use separate rooms~. But I’ll let Hyeji in~.”
Caressy suddenly attempted a quick betrayal drift.
Considering she’s our heroine, one could say it was expected.
But I never thought she would initiate such a betrayal here.
“Are you really a Kyalu?”
“That’s right.”
“Oh, right. I remembered.”
But there was one thing that Caressy overlooked.
Heroines often have somewhat inhuman traits.
Like heightened hearing, for instance.
That was truly unfortunate for Caressy.
“Just the two of us? Just the two? This is like a guillotine set up.”
“Even if revolutions don’t need guillotines, betrayals do!”
“In this case, I’ll also bring the soybean paste.”
“Okay, I was wrong!!! I won’t do it again!!!”
While Caressy was kneeling and begging with her head down.
Piece subtly turned to me.
[What do you plan to do when you go to the academy? Isn’t it still too early?]
‘Well, I’m preparing a few things. There’s still a lot to do.’
To be honest, I’ve done all I can do outside during the break.
Now, I just hope things go smoothly as I predicted.
However, that doesn’t mean my preparations are completely over.
I had done some groundwork, but I wanted to remind myself of my plan once more.
Especially to those inside the academy.
I was also somewhat prepared to take responsibility for their futures.
“Let’s go back tomorrow.”
“See you tonight. I’ll just go say hi to Dad.”
“Got it!”
“My lady will join us tomorrow.”
“I’ll go with you tomorrow as well.”
And that evening.
Upon hearing my plans to head to the academy, my mom said she would prepare a special meal.
But the moment I saw the ingredients for the special meal my mom brought out,
I had no choice but to argue with her madly.
“No, Mom! Did you get shot in the head?”
“Why? What’s the problem?”
Normally, I wouldn’t speak so sharply like that,
But this time, I couldn’t help it.
“Why the f*ck are you prepping fugu?”
“Don’t you trust me?”
What my mom had prepared was fugu.
“Yes.”
“You little brat.”
And it wasn’t just any cleaned fugu but rather a large live one that had just been swimming until moments ago.
Its coloring seemed to differ from the usual fugu as well.
Now, my mom had already turned it into a dish.
Mom resumed talking nonchalantly while she fussed.
“As I said, that has no poison, and it’s particularly good for male-female relations.”
“Stop talking nonsense. If something that size has no poison, what the hell is it?”
But considering my life was at stake, I had no choice but to get assertive.
Was my bluntness somewhat shocking to her?
Mom’s face began to tense as she held a kitchen knife in one hand.
“Are you saying I’m being too harsh? Did your mom die?”
“Eat that, and you’ll really die.”
Naturally, I wasn’t backing down either.
In the standoff that seemed like it would never end,
Piece suddenly spoke up unexpectedly.
[Hey there.]
‘What is it?’
Maybe it was because emotions were running high, but I answered somewhat curtly.
Piece merely responded in a gentle voice.
Seeming to enjoy what was being said.
[If you’ve got sense, eat it quickly. Isn’t this a chance to show filial piety?]
‘You bastard.’
But the fight with my mother that seemed unending
Wrapped up in a way I never expected.
“Then I’ll just eat it all!”
“Huh? Hey! Don’t eat that!”
Thanks to Elcia, who suddenly barged into the scene,
I tried to stop her, but by that point, Elcia had already eaten nearly half of it.
Of course, with how much she usually eats, her speed was remarkable.
Before long, the fully stuffed Elcia gently patted her stomach and smiled brightly.
“I ate well! Thank you so much, Mother!”
“Oh my, our Elven girl eats so well!”
“Of course!”
However, I was too worried and urgently spoke to Elcia.
“You crazy girl! Why did you eat? You’re not paralyzed, are you?”
“Yes! Surprisingly, it was pretty good! I’m not in any pain!”
“Really?”
Elcia looked fine despite having eaten so much.
I started to wonder if my mom’s words were true about there being no poison in that fugu.
I too took a big bite of the fugu.
Thud.
“My lord? What’s wrong?”
“……I’m paralyzed.”
Suddenly, my body became paralyzed, and I sprawled on the floor.
“Shinwoo, you have to rise because it’s meal time.”
“I said I’m paralyzed, f*ck.”
I wasn’t doubting my mom’s words.
Though it was somewhat distant from typical fugu poisoning symptoms.
While my whole body was paralyzed, I didn’t have any headaches or vomiting.
Still, it was ultimately my fault for trusting my mom’s words.
From now on, I’d definitely ignore whatever she says.
Just as I resolved that in my heart,
Piece unexpectedly asked me a sharp question.
[But why did humans ever start eating fugu?]
‘……Huh? Good point, huh?’
I pondered over her words.
Someone must have eaten fugu and died at some point.
Back then, it was clear they wouldn’t clean and eat it but just eat it as is, so death had to be inevitable.
But what on earth was going through the mind of the guy who kept eating even after someone died?
‘Moreover, it wasn’t just one or two people who died, right?’
[Personally, I think more people probably died from eating fugu than from war.]
The more I thought about it, the more questions I had.
What’s so special about this fugu?
Is it worth risking your life to eat it?
Even knowing they’d die, why would they eat it again?
While my body was paralyzed, those thoughts kept swirling in my mind.
“Huh? Huh? M-master!”
“Elcia? What’s wrong?”
Suddenly, Elcia wore a strange expression.
For some reason, she was rubbing her lower abdomen in a peculiar manner.
And before long, Elcia said something unbelievable.
“It’s all tingly!”
“……What?”
I hoped I misheard her.
But what followed from Elcia confirmed that I had indeed heard her right.
“My lower abdomen is super tingly!!!!”
“……F*ck.”
Even Elcia seemed determined to reinforce her statement with her suggestive finger point.
“I think my lower part is starting to become poisonous because of the fugu!”
“I get it, so shut up. It’s giving me a headache.”
But Elcia kept talking without hearing a word of what I said.
She was pounding her lower abdomen vigorously too.
“This is agonizing! I feel like I have to do something to ease this tingle!!”
[Why is this content like this after all ages?]
‘Is the writer sleep-deprived or crazy?’
At that moment, my mom clapped her hands as if she had realized something.
“This fugu paralyzes men and excites women.”
“Oh, f*ck.”
Only then did everything start to make sense.
Though I didn’t want to admit it now.
I had no choice but to accept that my mom was right.
Truly, unlike typical fugu toxin, it was harmless to the human body.
It just triggers different side effects in men and women.
And side effects that are quite fitting for male-female relations, led by women.
[Looking at it, isn’t Juji standing paralyzed as well?]
‘Being petrified wouldn’t even compare to this, f*ck.’
And that wasn’t the end of it.
“Hello, dear.”
“Oh, Hyeji, you’re here. Come on in.”
Now, Hyeji had also already made her appearance.
“Sister, you have to try this!”
“What’s that?”
“Just eat it and see!!!”
“Stop, you bastards!”
In a moment of panic, I screamed,
But it was already too late; Hyeji had completely eaten the fugu that Elcia had offered her.
And not long after.
“…Hey, what’s this? My lower abdomen is really tingly.”
“Finally, Sister has awakened to the ultimate secret of poison! You now possess the Poison Princess (??) title!”
Hyeji, too, had succumbed to the poison.
At that moment, realizing something was dreadfully off.
Hyeji and Elcia looked at me with predatory eyes.
“……”
“……”
“Ah…”
Then, without saying a word, they began dragging me to my room.
“Hey, stop! The Lizard Beastman siblings are still here!!!”
Rattle, Rattle.
They didn’t even seem interested in my words.
I was already paralyzed and unable to resist in any way.
So I thought of trying one last hope with my mom.
“Kids, do your best for the sake of the grandchild! You got a lot!”
“Mom…”
That hope was mercilessly crushed.
“Did you call? Want more?”
“……F*ck.”
For a moment, their four eyes seemed to pierce right through me.
Then, four arms moved fiercely at the same time,
And they began tearing my clothes to shreds.
Overwhelmed by that sight, I felt chills, yet I couldn’t even shiver in despair.
At this point, only resignation filled my heart.
Suddenly, Piece spoke up with an amused tone.
[Now there are two Poison Princesses, huh?]
‘You step on the brakes, f*ck.’
Even if Piece has been stepping on the accelerator instead of the brakes for some time now,
It must not have completely shattered like the brakes on the heroines before me.
Right now, the story’s last normality was slightly off the track.
[Should we call this Bodoks (??s), or is it Botox (？Tox) better?]
‘You idiot, that’s a dumb thing to say.’
No, that wasn’t it.
I told her to step on the brakes, and that idiot pressed both accelerators.
That night, my room was filled with strange sounds.
Save me.
I can’t eat anymore.
Stop it.
Quit it.
It hurts.
I think I’m going to die.
It hurts.
It hurts.
Of course, all of those were words coming from my mouth.
On the other hand, Hyeji and Elcia didn’t utter a single word, not even a moan.
The only sounds they made were the ones confirming they were chewing the fugu again once their senses returned to normal.
This phenomenon continued even as I lost consciousness.
While I was forced to sleep, someone was wide awake through the night.
“Sister…”
“Why?”
It was the Lizard Beastman siblings.
They trembled throughout the night, hearing my screams.
Knowing well their powerlessness.
They could only hug each other tightly.
“Women are scary… I only need my sister…”
“……I see…”
Somehow, it felt like the bond between the Lizard Beastman siblings grew even ‘closer’ but,
I never found out.
After all, I was unconscious and couldn’t know.
*
