〈 Chapter 300 〉 Chapter 294 – Settlement is definite.
*
Kareusi’s hidden camera ended successfully.
However, there was one thing to settle here.
That’s right, the condolence money.
Although it was an enormous amount, it was basically a sum temporarily gathered to deceive Kareusi.
Logically, it should be returned to each person.
But the Pope took a portion of the condolence money and gave it to us.
“It’s terribly small compared to the hard work, but please accept it.”
“It’s definitely small.”
“…At times like this, you should still show your gratitude.”
“I don’t need to express gratitude for money I received for rolling around like a dog.”
“…Shinwoo, can you please just slap my right cheek once? And then the left cheek too.”
[Ah, so if one gets slapped on the right cheek, they’re told to present the left cheek too.]
‘Isn’t it a lesson to demand double the settlement?’
Although I said that, it wasn’t a small amount at all.
It was an overwhelming amount, enough to make all the money I’ve ever touched look like nothing.
And it was all cash.
As I made a bewildered expression after receiving the money, the heroines began to scold me.
“Shinwoo, don’t act like you don’t have any. How much did you receive?”
“I got NTR’d by money! That bad money, I’ll take care of it!”
“Even so, it’s just pocket change, right? Don’t make such a fuss.”
“Ah! You all take some too. Here you go.”
The moment I received my share from the pope, my attitude changed instantly.
“…Crazy. The money I gathered was nothing.”
“Oh my……fuck, is this amount real? I’m totally hit with reality.”
“…I seriously need to consider [Healing Succubus Korea No. 3] now.”
At that moment, the beastmen who seemed to have given condolence money approached the pope.
“Pope, you’re going to return the remaining money appropriately, right?”
“Ah, of course. I’ll return it.”
“Thank you.”
At those words, the beastmen subtly reached out their hands to the pope.
“Could you please wait a moment? There’s something to settle first.”
“…Yes?”
The pope distanced himself slightly from their hands and started tapping away on a calculator app on his mobile phone.
His fingers moved so quickly it was hard to believe he was old.
“Tithes. Building donations. Thanksgiving offerings. Missionary offerings…”
“…….Pope?”
“Lord, what else should I include here?”
Despite the beastmen’s lips starting to quiver, the pope acted as if he heard nothing.
He even sought advice from the Lord.
Suddenly, a text from an unknown sender arrived on the pope’s mobile phone.
「Since it was Kareusi’s funeral, collect the Lenten offerings. Since she’s actually alive, collect the Easter offerings. And only gather the blessing offerings.」
“Understood. Truly merciful.”
At the pope’s words, I suddenly felt animosity towards the Lord.
‘Is mercy insane?’
[Isn’t that merciful enough? Originally, you’re supposed to give the blessing offerings quarterly.]
‘……Ah.’
As I listened to the following piece’s words, that feeling vanished in an instant.
It was indeed quite merciful.
This time, he wasn’t collecting during each season nor was he gathering support funds under strange pretenses.
Only requesting a mere 7 out of 85 types of offerings.
[Now that I think about it, isn’t that rather angelic?]
‘Ah! Lord! I’m sorry for having doubts!’
Of course, just because I gained that enlightenment didn’t mean I was planning to pay the offerings.
This money was for my future pickups.
Anyway, after the pope finished settling, he returned the money to the beastmen with a kind smile.
“Here’s the balance. Please accept it joyfully.”
“……Goldsuhs…”
The beastmen who received money from the pope were also smiling so widely it seemed their mouths would tear.
They looked so happy, tightly closing their mouths in joy.
“I’m glad you said thank you. The Lord will bless you.”
Although the amount was ridiculously small,
Their faith had grown richer.
That would fill the heavenly storehouse.
At that moment, Piece spoke up cautiously.
Feeling extremely anxious about the narrative being very risky.
[……Isn’t the guy writing this, who keeps making unholy remarks, really going to get stabbed by the Lord?]
‘I think he got his ankle twisted during the five loaves and two fish. Before that, his head got smashed too.’
– Now, there’s no problem. The involved parties reached an agreement through prayer.
That comment gave me a slight sense of relief.
Honestly, it wouldn’t matter if I died, but I’d want to at least finish the story before kicking the bucket.
That means I need to keep this pitiful life for now.
– Damn it.
As I lightly ignored the voice echoing in my head, the pope began to leave urgently with a gentle smile.
“Then I will go calm the Saintess first.”
Surely the betrayal that Kareusi would feel due to deceiving her with both the pope and the Lord would be quite significant.
If I were to put a number on it, perhaps around ‘2 Kyaru’.
In moments like this, he should quickly go and console her.
On the other hand, the beastmen who received an extremely small amount of money were just blankly counting it.
Looking somewhat detached with a smile.
Then suddenly, one of them approached me with a friendly smile and began to speak.
“Do you want to join the furry funeral service? Right now, even humans can join.”
“Ugh! Who recommends an ominous funeral insurance! How about our Furrytz Fire insurance?”
“Since you’ve become our brother this time, you need to pay the membership fee. I’ll only take half from your conscience.”
Even as I tried to shake them off, they persisted like tenacious bugs, eyeing the cash in my hand.
‘Why are they only coming to me, these guys?’
[Because you seem relatively easy.]
But not everyone was chasing after me.
Two of the beastmen were approaching different individuals.
First, a dog beastman with glasses approached Elcia.
“We have a decent fund product at our bank this time, would you like to check it out?”
“Really?”
Then Elcia, shining brightly, waved a bundle of money.
“If you can pump up Elf Coin, I’ll give you however much you want!”
“I’m a dog beastman, but I can’t listen to such bullsh—”
However, the dog beastman couldn’t finish his sentence.
– Thud! Thud! Thud!
“Oh my! There’s still a believer from the Motherless Church!”
Elcia manifested thorny vines and impaled the dog beastman into the ground.
No matter how you saw it from the dog beastman’s perspective, Elcia’s words had crossed the line.
There are things you shouldn’t say.
Especially to coin addicts who wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
Meanwhile, one hippo beastman approached a third individual.
By coincidence, it was Hyeji.
“Teacher! Our Holy Mother (??) hospital is offering all surgeries at a discount right now!”
From the white gown, he seemed to be a doctor.
Hyeji tilted her head towards the elephant beastman.
“Do you have heart surgery too?”
“Just so happens I’m a cardiothoracic surgeon! I’ve successfully performed thousands of surgeries without even a single mistake.”
“That highly skilled? I’m seeing you for the first time.”
“Trust me! I can do anything from simple surgeries to body modifications!”
“Really?”
The hippo beastman was confidently thumping his chest boastfully.
“If you can enlarge my chest a little, I’ll give you all this money.”
“……”
Unable to continue with Hyeji’s following words, he fell silent.
Now Hyeji directly handed a bundle of money to the hippo beastman.
With a voice full of both desperation and eeriness, she chanted.
“Just take it quickly. This is an upfront payment; if you succeed, I can give you more.”
“……Enlargement is difficult, but how about adding some lasers instead?”
The hippo beastman suggested to Hyeji.
– Bang!!!!!
“Ahhhhhhhh!!!!”
“Damn dogs, why do you keep trying to attach weapons to someone else’s chest!”
Hyeji’s response was silenced by Hyeji’s gun.
Considering it was against the hippo beastman, it was with a hefty and massive elephant gun.
As Hyeji began to open her mouth slowly to the elephant beastman screeching in pain.
“I don’t ask for much. AAA cup would be enough.”
“According to the Hippocratic Oath, excessive greed goes against nature!”
– Bang!!!!!
“Damn it.”
Ultimately, another gunshot ended the conversation.
The remaining beastmen watching this scene began to develop an obsession toward me again.
Naturally, my irritation multiplied.
[Of course, catching a mark is a given.]
‘Damn it, for real.’
Then a good idea popped into my head.
Still, since the hidden camera is called NTR, shouldn’t it live up to its name?
Of course, the NTR here has a slightly different meaning, but anyway, now is the time to borrow Golden Sun’s strength.
For that, I first made a proposal to the beastmen.
“Just a moment. I’ll send it directly to your accounts, so please wait.”
“Anytime.”
Just in front of the chapel, there was one ATM that hadn’t been destroyed.
Despite the previous explosions, it seemed to be functioning well aside from its filthy appearance.
It definitely seemed they were thoroughly prepared regarding money.
[……Why is there an ATM in front of the chapel?]
‘Don’t you know yet? The Lord only accepts cash.’
[Oh, right.]
As soon as I deposited all cash into my account through the ATM, I quickly distanced myself from the beastmen and spoke up.
“Hey, beastmen! You watching?”
“Why do you ask? Your tone suddenly sounds like Golden Sun…”
Instantly, the beastmen gave me questioning looks, but the moment they heard what I would say next,
Their expressions were enough to shift from puzzlement to horror.
“From now on, watch closely what happens to your precious money!”
“D-Don’t do that!!!”
Finally realizing what I was about to do, the beastmen quickly tried to snatch my mobile phone.
“Your precious money is going to jiggle into jewels!!!”
Unfortunately, my finger was faster.
In an instant, the staggering amount of money vanished, leaving the beastmen watching wide-eyed.
Soon after, witnessing my bank balance hitting rock bottom, they began to scream.
“With that money, I could’ve taken out an insurance policy without any issues!”
“You crazy bastard!!! I’ll introduce you to a talking beastman, so refund it right now!!!”
“What’s the difference between throwing away money on some dumb offerings and that!”
“…Last brother, please follow me for a moment.”
“Ah, damn it. When did you arrive?”
The beastmen sank into despair with the flicker of hope that had disappeared.
Amid that, the last beastman who made an unholy remark was dragged away by the now reappeared pope.
With that, the settlement of the condolence money was successfully completed.
Now, there’s only one thing left.
That’s right.
The true salvation of the Beastman Kingdom.
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