〈 Chapter 163 〉 Chapter 162 – VS Black Dragon, or Black Lizard (2)
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The Black Dragon’s trash humor was unending.
Even if it was a youngling, it had enough age to show a distinct generational gap in humor levels.
“Do you know what happens if a dragon participates in the Nopia contest?”
“Shut up! Just get out, and I’ll sponsor you! Please!”
“It’s a ‘write-it-off’ situation!!! Ahahahahahaha!!!!”
“F*cking hell, really.”
I clutched my head and shook it.
Meanwhile, Hyeji and Caressy started mocking Elcia.
“Hey, Kanf, your mouth’s twitching? Is this your taste?”
“Please don’t! We’re both from the same ‘Alumni’ of the Academy!”
“Can you even use a phone? I could switch it out for a parental phone if it gets dire.”
“Y-Yeah! I’m adapting even to the latest phones these days!”
Elcia seemed to genuinely enjoy the Black Dragon’s jokes.
Of course, my and Piece’s hearts burned with complexity.
[The future of this novel looks dark.]
‘Sigh… What the hell.’
At that moment, the Black Dragon glared at me as it approached.
“Gotcha!”
“Sigh. F*cking hell, you pathetic lizard.”
This time, it was somewhat risky.
I dodged, but it was really close compared to before.
My brain, tainted by dad jokes, wasn’t functioning properly.
[The Dragon’s attacks are definitely becoming sharper.]
‘This is a bit dangerous.’
As Piece said, the attacks of the dragon were indeed getting more refined.
Every time I dodged, I had to counterattack, but the opponent was still a dragon.
It managed to endure my attacks stoutly while trying several of its own.
And with every attempt, its attacks began to morph into something increasingly threatening.
Taking in necessary elements and refining them further.
Boldly discarding the unnecessary parts.
The Black Dragon was rapidly growing in the heat of battle.
I pleaded with the Black Dragon.
“Dog-girl. Just stop with the sh*tty jokes, please.”
“Sounds just like your mental attacks when you talk, what’s the problem?!”
[……That’s true.]
‘F*ck.’
The Black Dragon prepared another of its dad jokes.
But I had to stop this here.
If it continued, the legacy of comedy could be at risk.
[Show me the Wind Style Mouth Technique.]
‘Naruto! Give me strength!’
As I steeled myself, the Black Dragon spewed another pile of trash humor.
But this time was different.
I was prepared to hit back.
“What do you call it when a lion dies? Do you know?”
“If it dies, I assume?”
“Looks like you don’t know! It’s a ‘Hero’s Death’!!!! Hahahahaha!!!!”
“That’s meaningless nonsense.”
The Black Dragon, hearing my cold reaction, doubled over, clutching its belly.
And while still trying to suppress its laughter, it pointed at me.
“Honestly, you find this funny too, don’t you? Hahaha!”
I didn’t shy away from its gaze but faced it calmly.
And I even smirked a bit, replying.
“What do you mean? A dragon’s death is excellent material.”
In that moment, the dragon’s laughter froze.
Its pupils trembled as if it couldn’t process my statement.
Ah, here it comes. It arrived.
Finally, the flow turned in my favor.
Time to return that terrible dad joke.
“What happens when two dragons fight to the death? Speak up.”
“Of course! ‘Dragon-dragon, it’s gonna die’~!”
“Is that head for decoration? Listen well.”
I returned the same sh*tty smile the Black Dragon had just moments ago.
“If both are exhausted and die then, you get double the materials. Sweet deal.”
“That’s a discriminatory remark, you f*cking bastard!!!!!!”
The Black Dragon finally started to wear a face full of rage.
It’s still my turn, you piece of sh*t.
“What happens when a dragon climbs a mountain and gets shot?”
“Are you looking down on me? It’s ‘Dragon Soup’!”
“I can’t believe you even have thoughts.”
I exhaled loudly, shrugging my shoulders.
“A dragon on a mountain peak is a harmful species. Therefore, the answer is eradicating harmful species.”
“Shut up!!! What kind of name is that!!!”
“Ah, I’m sorry. That was a mistake.”
I looked at the Black Dragon with a smug smile while it wore a sulky expression.
“It’s not even that special to name it.”
“You, you bastard!!!!!!!!!!”
Finally, the Black Dragon lost its sanity and charged at me with its head down.
With a sharp pair of horns jutting out, looking to pierce me.
But straightforward and honest attacks are the easiest to dodge.
I took a half-step to the left, stepping out of the attack path.
Simultaneously, I stomped with my left foot and swung my right foot down onto the charging dragon’s head.
Like a blade descending from the guillotine.
Thunk!!!!
“Graaaah!!!!”
The shock that hit the dragon was incomparable to before.
It even seemed to be stunned, clutching its head after the impact.
The Cheonma Laser required a moment to charge, so I only condensed my magical power in my right palm.
And before I unleashed the Cheonma Repulsor, I threw another dad joke at the Black Dragon.
“What would a dragon say if it got hit?”
“Uh… Wait, um, ‘Dragon hit?'”
The Black Dragon answered sturdily despite its stunned state.
I chuckled and aimed the Cheonma Repulsor from below, directed at the dragon’s abdomen.
“You’ll have to say that from your mouth now, you f*cking bastard.”
A translucent haze exploded from the Black Dragon’s abdomen.
Thanks to the shock, the Black Dragon soared into the sky.
“Ahhh! It hurts!”
Fixated on the still-joking dragon, I prepared the Cheonma Laser in my right hand.
I intended to land the finishing blow as soon as I was ready.
But it didn’t go as smoothly as I thought.
Suddenly, the Black Dragon, the numbers above its head increasing, forcibly flapped its wings in the air to regain its balance.
The Black Dragon began condensing a black, ominous magical sphere between its horns and in front of its mouth.
“It won’t go down as you wish!”
And when the gathered sphere grew to the size of a baseball, the Black Dragon opened its mouth wide.
Anticipating this as a prelude to an attack, I reflexively unleashed the starlight gathered in my hands.
Soon, a black beam and a white meteor rushed towards each other.
Neither emitted any sound.
Only slicing through the space as they advanced.
But the power behind them was extraordinary.
Where they met, a massive explosion erupted.
The blast sent both me and the Black Dragon flying apart.
“I’m flying away!!!!”
“Shut your mouth!”
Now we were separated by quite a distance.
At that moment, an instinct warned me.
Run away.
As I looked straight ahead, my vision revealed the polymorphed dragon.
However, this time, it had its dragon features even more exaggerated than before.
From fingertips to elbows, and from toes to knees.
Everything had transformed into reptilian form.
In addition, black scales half-covered its cheeks.
Wings larger than before and a tail twice as thick.
Even a pair of horns that had grown longer and sharper.
“I haven’t completely transformed yet, but this is sufficient.”
The Black Dragon murmured, gazing at me with predator-like eyes.
Then, as if it intended to finish me off, it flared its scales and shouted.
“The jokes are over!!!!!”
The Black Dragon fixed its tail against the ground to prevent its body from moving.
At the same time, it closed its eyes, concentrating for a moment.
The instant the Black Dragon opened its eyes, the mysterious black sphere began to slowly gather again.
Only this time, it was enormous, and with each increase in size, the atmosphere trembled slightly.
It was a dragon breath attack looking far more dangerous than before.
No matter how I thought about it, it wasn’t for suppression.
It was a pure killing weapon.
“You crazy h*e. If I get hit by that, potions wouldn’t even work!”
“Kneel and beg if you want to live!!!”
I condensed my magical power in both the bracelets and the palm of my hand.
And while looking at the Black Dragon, I smiled.
“But losing to a beast is worse than dying.”
The bracelets shook, and starlight began to gather.
I fixed my gaze on the Black Dragon while continuously gathering the starlight.
“So let’s fight for everything.”
Thus, we were both gathering our strength for one final blow.
The Black Dragon was straining to maintain a pitch-black sphere slightly larger than a basketball.
It emitted an ominous aura that seemed ready to envelop everything in darkness.
Meanwhile, I had gathered two small specks of starlight in my hands.
They were tiny compared to the pitch-black sphere ahead.
But they were my hope to illuminate the world and pierce through the darkness.
Without either of us waiting for the other, we locked eyes, both ready.
Since it started with dad jokes, I figured I might as well prepare a final one for symmetry.
“When a dragon sees someone who’s lost an arm while saving someone, what would it say?”
“Hmph! You’re still on about humor! It’s ‘Dragon!!! Arm!!!'”
The Black Dragon breathed heavily as if exhausted, but its gaze was filled with certainty of victory.
Simultaneously, it wore a foolish grin, thinking it had given a great answer.
Of course, I wasn’t about to let that slide.
Wearing a similarly maniacal grin, I responded to the Black Dragon.
“Isn’t the value of the product lower now, you bastard lizard?”
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