Chapter 116

EP.116 The Indisputable Worst First Encounter (1)

Loneliness feels just like coldness.

Crawling slowly up from the icy bottom, by the time she regained her senses, the girl finally recalled the name of this shivering sensation rooted in the membrane.

”It’s cold…”

She unconsciously held onto both shoulders.

The temperature wasn’t much different from usual.

But now, left alone again in this vast, pure white space, with no signs of life, she had no doubt that her skin must be colder than ice.

”…”

As she lazily looked up at the sky, her eyes suddenly became hazy.

Not something reflected on her retina, but rather a sorrowful gaze as if probing into something deep within her retinal world, indicating that she was lost in deep thoughts.

In the past few months, her colorless, dry world had been filled with brilliant hues.

The distorted vision that seemed to be covered by a fog became clear enough to fully recognize the shapes of things.

No longer just annoying noise, she realized that the unpleasant sounds were the voices of others, even distinguishing whose was whose.

The touch of her skin, which had felt nothing even when punctured by metal, now brought an unspeakable joy when she gently connected with someone.

She looked forward to tomorrow.

She earnestly wished for this happiness to last forever.

Memory. Personality. Emotion. The five senses.

For her, who had lost all means to affirm herself, the colors that filled her once blank heart were like a lighthouse beyond the fog where she couldn’t see even one step ahead.

And the source of that light was clear.

”Brother…”

Even with a throat tired from crying, her voice calling for him was as clear as a nightingale’s in the early morning.

She didn’t even know herself when his existence had grown so large within her.

It was only relatively recently that she fully remembered that they had a connection in the past.

But amidst seeing everything else in the world as blurry and dim, the only man was strangely vivid in her mind.

Shhh. With her eyes gently closed, she desperately reminisced about the past.

No matter how much the man’s mystical power had allowed her heart to regain some form, it was still far from being whole; for her, the past was no different from a fleeting scenery outside the window brushed past her eyes.

After holding it in her view for a while, it seemed quite interesting, but that was all it was.

It wasn’t vivid enough to evoke any emotions or memories of forgotten things.

Yet, the reason she always stared endlessly at her past, the mysterious black box creating a shabby image beyond the screen, was simple.

That lifeless scenery was the only other existence she could fully recognize apart from herself.

After being reborn as a saint burdened with the fate of this world, from that day on, her world consisted solely of this empty space and the black cube randomly displaying her past life.

But at this very moment, she was consciously thinking of the past, longing, and hoping for him to return, the one who had coldly cast her aside.

◈◈◈

What a pathetic guy.

The honest feeling she had when she first met the man sums it all up.

For a first encounter, it was a rather, no, excessively rude expression.

On a bright sunny day, if anyone saw a human flattened against the ground, desperately searching for a cigarette butt left by someone else, they would surely have shared similar thoughts to hers.

If her sister, who always hovered around her, had been there, she would have forcibly dragged her away, insisting not to get involved with such a suspicious individual.

Unlike her naturally timid sister, who took a long time to adapt to the unfamiliar monastery environment, her capable sister accomplished above-average tasks effortlessly, making it clear she was too busy to follow her around at such an early hour.

Despite sharing the same blood and both being saint candidates, the disparity in talent was immense.

She’ll never forget the countless times she’d heard that phrase from those around her, nor could she stop repeating it in her mind.

”Um…”

It was a matter of misguided curiosity.

Normally, she would have hesitated to approach or speak to a suspicious person.

Despite looking decent, the more attractive he was, the more suspicious he seemed. Why was he acting so strangely? It made her lips twitch with curiosity.

”Um, um… Excuse me, if it’s not too presumptuous, could I ask what you’re doing right now…?”

Her question was laced with clear embarrassment and a hint of contempt, and soon enough, the man replied like this.

”Kid… I’m sorry to ask this on our first meeting, but could you lend me some money…?”

The worst. It was indisputably the worst first impression.

The girl often recalled the memory of that day.

◈◈◈

Alcohol, money, and women.

Those who aspire to walk the path of the clergy are said to avoid being immersed to the point of drowning, even if they step into it a bit.

That ironclad rule, once called the ‘law of iron’, was already a relic of a bygone era, but even she, who didn’t understand the world at that time, knew this too well.

Seeing a priest completely disregarding such etiquette was her first real encounter.

”I-I’m sorry! Sister! I didn’t know you were a part of the saint candidates! Please forgive me!”

”Oh, it’s alright… Don’t worry about it…”

It was utterly baffling.

When he first approached her to borrow money without hesitation, and then upon realizing her status, he immediately began to bow down, appearing like a woefully new kind of creature she had never seen before.

While she was indeed a saint candidate, at this point, her chances of being selected as one were virtually zero, more like a failing student.

The sight of the grown man, prostrated like a child without hesitation, instilled a concern in her she couldn’t articulate.

It wasn’t hard to guess that he was a fresh new priest just starting out based on the simplicity of his monk robes.

It soon became apparent why he was engaged in such behavior.

”I’m really sorry… I got into a gambling quarrel while completely drunk yesterday, and by the time I got into such an unexpected disaster, I was broke just in time for the orphanage’s monthly donation. I’m so broke I don’t even have money for cigarettes. Haha…”

The way he scratched near his neck, looking ashamed, reminded her of a shabby father returning home after losing everything in gambling.

It seemed true that he had gotten into a gambling quarrel after drinking heavily, but someone who picked up discarded cigarette butts in the shadows of the monastery certainly didn’t seem like the dependable type to send donations to an orphanage monthly. At that time, she thought he was lying.

Surely, he must be funneling the little money he had into that cheap brothel nearby.

Even cloaked in a priest’s robes, men have an insatiable urge towards women, which was what her sister always warned her about.

”But can I really take this? It’s your breakfast…”

”There’s no need to decline, um… It’s just a potato… Helping someone in need is only natural for those walking the path of the clergy… Oh, if you don’t like potatoes, you can refuse…”

”Ah, no! I love potatoes! I’m pretty sure I could eat potatoes every day for a month without getting tired of it! Thank you once again for this food, Sister!”

He had no shame, but maybe he wasn’t entirely oblivious.

The flustered behavior of the man, sweating profusely from embarrassment over her kindness, was rather comical.

The reason she gave away her breakfast to him was simple.

She didn’t particularly feel like eating that morning, and living her life always being mindful of others, having a mature man bowing down to her wasn’t such a bad feeling.

”I’ll never forget this kindness, Sister. Feel free to call me ‘brother’, and rely on me as much as you like!”

”I’m sorry, but I’ll have to politely decline…”

That brief encounter was the beginning of everything.

And also the end.