At first, I thought it was someone else.
The Alicia I know is always bold, confident, overflowing with spirit.
But now, what’s before my eyes is…
“I-I got caught by big sis…”
Just a pitiful rabbit abandoned by its master.
That rabbit quickly averts its gaze, as if burned by something hot.
“I’m sorry for dropping by suddenly…”
Its ears tremble slightly.
Is it cold from the rain?
Or is it just scared?
Maybe both…
Even when it lost the rosary to me, it didn’t look this downcast.
“Come in for now.”
“….”
I let Alicia inside.
I concentrate on my senses and glance outside.
But there’s no sign of anyone else.
Looks like she didn’t come here with a tail.
“You got caught by Yerina?”
“It’s about you… about the time I went to Elvenguard with you…”
“Was it that bad that you got kicked out of Palana? Haha.”
“….”
It was just a joke.
But when Alicia silently nods, I’m thrown into confusion.
Could she really have been kicked out?
I already knew she got caught by Yerina for going to Elvenguard from Mia.
But I hadn’t thought she’d been caught for going with me.
I thought Alicia would manage to spin a tale somehow.
Seems like Yerina’s suspicion outweighed Alicia’s tongue this time.
‘No wonder she came here empty-handed, without a servant or bag.’
Alicia didn’t bring anything with her.
Just… nothing.
No bag or anything, just herself.
Except for the rosary around her neck and the mana stone ring on her finger, there are no valuables.
Looks like she was too desperate to escape.
‘It doesn’t seem like this place has been discovered, at least.’
Thankfully, it seems Yerina hasn’t found this hideout yet.
If she had, she would’ve smashed through the barrier before Alicia even arrived.
Despite her confusion while fleeing, it seems she managed to shake off her pursuers somehow.
Of course, it’s still way too early to relax.
Yerina has been here before, looking for Cern.
There’s no guarantee that a visitor wouldn’t return.
“How much did you get caught? Did you embarrass yourself in front of me by peeing twice?”
“….”
“I’m sorry. Was it not funny?”
“I’ve never seen you so angry before… You’ve often gotten angry for me, but you’re directing that anger at me for the first time. I thought I was doing the right thing… and then you called me a traitor and a thief… sniffle.”
“That’s enough. I get the situation. Just take a shower. Let’s talk again after you freshen up.”
Alicia bursts into tears, shaking her body.
Realizing it’s not the time for jokes, I let her bury her face in my chest for a moment.
I can feel the vibrations from her shivers and the tears dampening my clothes.
As I hold her in my warm embrace, her shivers eventually start to subside.
Now, her sobbing is fading away.
Just as I think she’s okay enough to let go…
Alicia’s wrist catches my eye.
“What’s this…?”
“Ugh.”
Her wrist is covered in scars.
It seems the makeup that usually covered them was washed away by the rain.
They look messy, like they were made from cutting with a blade.
They don’t seem recent, but they look rather old…
Alicia suddenly looks surprised, as if remembering something, and hides her wrist from me.
Is it okay to ask about her wounds?
An awkward silence lingers as I ponder.
Just then, Linda rushes in, having finished her task.
[Is there anything I can help with?]
“Help her take a bath. I’ll get some clothes ready.”
[Understood, Master. Please come this way. It might be better to take off those wet clothes, or you might catch a cold.]
Giving each other a knowing glance, Linda leads Alicia to the bathroom.
Alicia’s condition is troubling.
The wound on her wrist is on my mind.
I thought it would be best not to leave her alone, so I sent Linda with her.
If Linda hadn’t been there, I would’ve had to go in too.
“Should I wait until they’re done?”
After hearing the bathroom door close, I quickly gather Alicia’s discarded wet clothes, tossing them into the laundry basket before stepping outside.
I’m sure Alicia has been firmly marked by Yerina.
But for the exact details, I’ll need to hear it directly from her.
“Ugh. I think I need a nap.”
Looking at Mi Jeong, who’s still blissfully asleep, makes me feel sleepy too.
I flop down on the sofa and hug the plump Mi Jeong like a corpse.
She squirms in her sleep, probably hot.
But to me, she’s the perfect cool pillow.
“Where do you think you’re going to sleep? You still need to recharge that life force.”
“Oh.”
Just as I’m about to close my eyes…
A centipede’s maw crawls up onto the sofa, facing me.
Oh right.
I was supposed to kiss the centipede.
My vision starts to blur.
.
.
.
[The slippers are over here.]
Was it Linda…?
After being guided by the mechanical spirit, I leave the bathroom and slip on the slippers.
Then, slowly strolling into the lounge…
“Oh, are you done bathing?”
Yoo Jin, who seems to have just woken up from a nap, calls me.
Beside him stands the blood ghoul, always at his side.
And a strange woman I don’t recognize…
How can he be so consistent with his company?
As I think that, I find my heart at ease.
I notice I’m smiling, having managed to lighten the heavy feeling in my chest.
“It’s rude to ask a lady such questions.”
“Isn’t it rude to pee yourself in front of others?”
“Excuse me?!”
“Calm down and come here. You look hungry; let’s eat something. And that outfit suits you well.”
“Y-Yeah, it does… But it’s way too small…”
I hesitate under concerning gazes scanning me up and down.
When I came out of the bath, the only set of spare clothes I got was a flimsy set of pajamas.
It’s so thin that it’s almost see-through.
At least I can avoid embarrassment because I already washed my underwear, so I’m not going commando in such shameless clothes!
Yoo Jin must have had the blood ghoul wash my underwear.
There’s no way he did it himself…
“Of course it would be small. It was bought for Mi Jeong.”
“I-I… never… got to wear it.”
“It’s practically new. If you want it, take it.”
“I don’t need it. I don’t want a kid’s pajamas.”
“Uuugh.”
No wonder it feels tight.
The skirt threatens to reveal my underwear if lifted even slightly.
The chest area feels like it’s about to burst with tightness.
But still, at least there’s something to wear in an urgent situation, so I’ll take comfort in that.
“You two haven’t met before, have you?”
“No… Is this some new pet to use as a slave?”
“Well, it’s kind of similar.”
I meant it as a jab, but Yoo Jin nods, and the woman sitting next to him reacts nonchalantly, leaving me utterly bewildered.
Could it really be that she’s a slave…?
“I don’t have a name yet. Feel free to call me Bug for convenience. I’m a monster.”
“That’s not good! Just try calling me Bug! I’ll eat your rabbit ears off!”
“Eh? Eek!”
“And this is Alicia Yebgenia.”
“Oh, oh! That’s the one you mentioned before! The one who, when you grabbed the handle above her head, lemonade comes out…”
“Excuse me?!”
My face heats up instantly.
What on earth has this guy been saying about me?!
As the heat spreads, memories of that moment flood back, sending a jolt to my stomach.
You crazy bastard. There’s no suppression device now…
“Just sit and eat a burrito or something. Hey, you! When did you eat all of that?!”
“Uhm, umm. I think my body needs more calories as it grows bigger.”
“Stop eating, pig!”
[Haha! I’ll make another soon. Don’t fight now.]
“….”
It’s annoying and infuriating, but there’s no denying that I’m accepting this atmosphere quite comfortably.
Even though she showed up suddenly, no one is prying into her business.
No one is asking about the scars on my wrist…
In this space, it feels like there are only a wandering mercenary and two monsters who won’t gossip about me, putting my heart at ease.
Just moments ago, I felt like I’d lost everything.
But now, submerged in the bath, gazing at the depressed rabbit’s face reflected on the water’s surface.
Looking at my old scars on my wrist, I felt like I was drowning in the pain of the past—
But as soon as I walked out, I felt my spirit lifting.
It’s really because I got mad, but does it even matter…?
“Thank you. I feel calmer now.”
“Huh? About what?”
“Stop pretending to be clueless… I have something to tell you.”
Thud.
I plop onto the single sofa and grab a burrito off the table, starting my story.
It’s the first time I’m sharing my past like this in such a comfortable atmosphere.
It’s going to be quite a long story, I suppose.
Gently rubbing the coarse scars on my wrist, I slowly begin to speak.
The Yebgenia family, a prominent beast-folk clan that produced several great mages in the barren magic lands of the North.
That’s what they commonly refer to Yebgenia as.
However, as is the case with all beautiful things, the reality inside is quite grim.
One of the advantages of rabbit demi-humans is their rapid reproduction.
Yebgenia took advantage of this trait, unlike other noble families that refrained from having children for fear that wealth and power would be diluted.
Instead, Yebgenia actively encouraged their offspring.
After confirming the magical aptitude of the born children, those with aptitude were sent for education, while the rest were discarded.
Discarded means just that.
They were released from the family, left to starve, without a care.
Yebgenia improved their bloodlines with this approach while saving costs.
By stepping on the sacrifices of countless children, Yebgenia could stand alongside the traditional magical families of the South.
As for me, Alicia Yebgenia—though I was born as the eldest daughter of the head family—
Being a child of the main house didn’t change the standards I had to meet.
I had to endure the same exams as every other Yebgenia child, and if I failed, I would be expelled.
That was the rule of Yebgenia.
But when it came to my test results, they were disastrous.
I had no magical aptitude.
At least, that’s how it seemed at the time.
I still vividly remember the cold looks of disappointment on the adults’ faces as their hopes shifted to disillusionment as soon as the results came out when I was still a child who had barely learned to talk.
On that day, I had to be expelled.
Along with the other children without aptitude.
But my father broke the rule.
He declared he wouldn’t kick me out, that he would leave me in the main house.
As the decision of the head of the family, with absolute power, it was impossible for anyone to overturn it.
But countless voices of opposition naturally erupted.
While my father prevented me from dying of cold in the winter, he couldn’t shield me from the piercing glares within the family.
Useless child.
Trash.
Shameless girl.
Human trash, and so on.
These were the names I heard as I grew up.
I was raised in the main house but wasn’t treated as one of them.
I didn’t receive the same education as my relatives.
I had to eat the scraps left after they finished their meals.
The adults cursed at me in front of my face, while my peers ostracized me, and the attendants treated me like a ghost, afraid of being burned by their ire.
Even my father avoided me, being cautious of his retainers’ glares.
I alone couldn’t have a place in Yebgenia castle.
I could endure that.
Even if it was hard, painful, and sometimes brought tears, I could face the disdain and abuse from the outside, hardening my shell to withstand it.
However, what truly hurt me was the guilt.
Bearing the gaze of the young ones who glanced back at me as they left for the main house that remained, I couldn’t handle hearing that those children had died year after year.
They all couldn’t survive the winter, revolving around death or working painfully to stay alive…
While I alone had a warm home with proper meals.
I was meant to live the same life as them.
But just because I had a little luck…
That made it unbearable.
“Hey, did you hear? The kids from our generation that got released.”
“Are they still alive?”
“About half have died, and half are alive. But the ones that survived are being sold as slaves in the South.”
“Hahaha! They’ll be better off! They’ll live in warm lands among the nobles!”
“Hey, Bug! Why don’t you just go and be sold as a slave too?”
“….”
As I grew older, the bullying intensified.
As I matured, my thoughts multiplied, swelling the guilt within me.
I started to feel more strongly that their words were correct.
Why am I here?
Wouldn’t it be easier on both my body and mind to be sold into slavery with those kids who were released back then?
Why was I the one who got saved that day alone?
No, can it even be called saving?
Is my father truly looking out for me?
Or did he perhaps shelter me just to inflict pain?
When I was alone, a myriad of thoughts would run through my mind.
Those thoughts made my head throb.
The only thing that could help me forget this pain was one thing.
A bigger pain.
It seems I started to cut my wrists around that time.
The cuts visible were perhaps intertwined with a desire to show a protest.
But really, the biggest reason was that for some reason, while blood flowed, my head cleared.
As my wrist throbbed with pain, I didn’t feel dizzy at all.
Yet, once the blood stopped flowing and the wounds healed, the disturbing thoughts and headaches would inevitably resurface.
Unable to stop self-harm, I became dependent on it.
It was around the time my wrists were covered in scars.
“Alicia. What’s that?”
Finally.
Father discovered them.
To be honest, a part of me felt a slight joy.
I had hoped, longing for someone to notice my wounds.
Wanting them to understand the pain I was in, hoping for pity.
In my childish heart, I thought such things.
“It looks ugly; you should wear gloves. If the elders see it, you’ll get scolded.”
“….”
How foolish.
No one would pity me.
I had no allies in this family.
It was only after ten years of living in this house that I learned that fact.
The girl who learned that self-harm wouldn’t free me from this despair.
So young, I started to think about death.
I genuinely wanted to die.
Not because I expected that the head of the family or the elders or relatives would weep and regret my passing.
I just felt pain and wanted to escape this reality quickly.
“I, Yerina Frost, call forth the head of this family! I am the future king who will make Yebgenia kneel and serve me!”
That was the time.
When I met my big sister.
And that was when my life changed completely.
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