“Let go! You pathetic beings who are embarrassing to call unicorns!”
A unicorn was still writhing, trying to escape its restraints, letting out a rough protest.
Its eyes were so red and bloodshot that one might momentarily mistake it for a Baikon.
The Great Unicorn next to me glared at the ruckus-making unicorn and shouted.
“What kind of nonsense is this in front of the king? Didn’t I tell you to list your crimes?”
“A king? The king doesn’t understand the feelings of a unicorn!”
Even with the Great Unicorn’s scolding, the unicorn openly displayed its discontent.
However, I couldn’t back down; the title of the God of Aida was at stake.
I also looked at the unicorn and sternly said once more, “Didn’t I tell you to list your crimes?”
“Ha! If you want to know so badly, find out for yourself!”
The unicorn mocked me, letting out a scornful laugh.
However, it didn’t finish explaining its actions; it just continued to make a fuss.
The Great Unicorn sighed and said to me, “Your Majesty, this creature plotted a terror attack.”
“A terror attack? Explain it in detail.”
“Understood.”
The charges against the unicorn conveyed by the Great Unicorn were more serious than expected.
It was item two in the contract with South Korea.
It stated that all unicorns would not come to Korea from December 24 to December 26.
In fierce rebuttal, the unicorn was the mastermind planning a surprise attack on hotels and motels in South Korea on those dates.
As soon as the Great Unicorn finished explaining, the bound unicorn writhed and shouted loudly through telepathic voice.
“On that day, the most virginities will be broken, and the most innocents will disappear from the world!”
The unicorn seemed to suffer greatly just by thinking of that, as it began to spit out blood.
However, even while spitting blood, it expressed its opinions vehemently.
“On the day Baby Jesus tore open virginity to be born, the most active internal ejaculations are taking place! They must all be killed!”
Looking at the other unicorns, some seemed to agree with that opinion.
But I feigned ignorance and gently spoke to the unicorn.
“However, isn’t that also the day when the most pure mothers giving birth to virgins arise?”
Due to my words, those unicorns who sympathized with the bound unicorn gained deep insight and expressed admiration.
However, despite what I said, the bound unicorn showed no signs of calming down.
Instead, it only rampaged more.
“What nonsense! All those non-virgins must be killed!”
“What did you say?”
“All those with no virginity and no innocence must be slaughtered! What do you expect from this ridiculous dream!”
“You called it a ridiculous dream.”
I started to tremble with rage.
It was too offensive for a unicorn to dare speak such profane words.
I turned my head and asked my party.
“Hey guys, what do you think if the pickup character gacha odds are 5%?”
“Shinwoo, skipping the K-game, that’s completely a steal.”
“It’s a perfect steal! We must go for it!”
“…Are you all out of your minds? Is your head just decoration?”
Only Jeong Ahyeon rejected my opinion.
[Are you out of your mind? You can’t even get a grip on the ceiling!]
‘…F*ck.’
This time, I turned to the unicorns.
“O fellow unicorns, if the odds of innocence and virginity are 5%, would you gamble?”
“““““We must gamble!!!!!”””””
On average, the probability of pregnancy on ovulation day is 30%.
If 5% is considered a steal, then 30% is literally a super steal.
It was basically a giveaway event.
I spoke again to the bound unicorn.
“You called it a ridiculous dream! So many innocents and virgins will be conceived on that day!”
“Ha! Conceived? I won’t believe it until I see proof!”
“Here it is!”
“What, what did you say?…”
I boldly stood up from the throne and said, looking at the unicorn.
“I am the Christmas Baby.”
“T-this is unbelievable…”
The bound unicorn looked at the living proof in front of it with disbelief.
Then it snarled again, crumpling its face.
“Ha! A guy like this is a king? Unicorns must be in their last days!”
“Then what would you do if you were in my position?”
“You wouldn’t kill the non-virgin and the non-innocent parents! How can you even call yourself a king of unicorns!”
…What?
This guy?
It really has lost its mind.
Even seeing the living proof, the radical unicorn kept spouting utter nonsense.
There was no reason to spare it.
[That unicorn seems absolutely unwilling to change its mind.]
‘Then it should die.’
“Prepare for death.”
“Say whatever you want! I’m not afraid of your mere punishment!”
The unicorn held its head high, stubbornly climbing toward me.
But the moment I mentioned punishment,
Its proud demeanor vanished, replaced by trembling.
“You suffer death! You will read ‘Body of Lust’ and ‘Rental Girlfriend’ five times each!”
“It’s unfair!”
“Shut up!!! It’s more unfair to say kill parents in a Confucian state!”
I glared at the unicorn and shouted fiercely.
“Moreover, you just recently conceived a new virgin, how dare you spout such nonsense!”
“Oh!!!!!!!”
At my statement, the other unicorns began to exclaim in admiration.
Some even cried, thinking about the birth of a new saint.
The unicorn sentenced to execution sat down, wetting itself in fear, but the others ignored it and dragged it away.
All that was left where the unicorn had been was a yellow carpet.
That was how the trial of the unicorn concluded.
*
Originally, I had planned to go straight to the Forest of Elves after the trial, but unfortunately, that wasn’t possible at the moment.
The unicorn looked down with a solemn expression, apologizing to me.
“I’m sorry. The rest are fine, but currently, the gate is optimized for unmarried girls to use—”
“Oh my! My hand slipped!”
“Get lost, you f*cking idiot!”
Despite Hyeji’s hollow scream, another unicorn fell into a deep slumber from Elcia’s fist.
Hyeji grabbed Elcia by the collar and yelled.
“No, you f*cking Kanp! That one’s a techie!”
“…Without going to the Forest of Elves, can we even go home?”
“Don’t worry! It’s no problem once I wake it up again!”
Elcia splashed water on the fainted unicorn to wake it up forcibly.
The unicorn groaned in pain as it began to adjust the gate.
‘Oh wow, this guy has some experience in torture.’
[What is this heretical scene…]
Eventually, we ended up staying for a while in the unicorn’s sacred land.
The rest of the party roamed freely during that time in the unicorn’s sacred land.
Except for Elcia, the unicorns even carried the other party members on their backs, giving us tours of the sacred land.
It was certainly a place befitting the stay of unicorns, with numerous facilities.
From a museum recording the history of unicorns to a place to accumulate knowledge.
Places to dine and even leisure facilities for unicorns.
In a way, it could be seen as an academy for unicorns.
As we passed by various facilities, the party asked the unicorn various questions.
“What kind of game machines are there here?”
“That one earns points for removing non-virgin characters and loses points for attacking virgin characters.”
“What’s in this book?”
“Be careful! It lists authors who have drifted non-virgins!”
On the other hand, I couldn’t have such experiences.
Instead of leisurely following the party to look around, I had other duties to fulfill.
Such as the heated discussions among the unicorns.
“Is Ellie a virgin or not!”
“Can virginity be preserved with Booby Bombs!”
Or judging the crimes of unicorns.
“That unicorn supported funding and recently killed the innocence he was supporting.”
“What on earth was the reason for that?”
“It kept pretending to be pure while maintaining innocence, but the virgin was long lost, so I killed it.”
Or lectures from scholarly unicorns.
“The theory I will explain this time is the ‘Quantum Virginity Theory,’ which states you can’t know virginity until observation.”
“On the other hand, according to the ‘Relativity of Virginity’…”
And many other things.
I was continuously asked to participate in all the events and schedules of the unicorns.
‘What the heck, is this tougher than an academy?’
[Why the f*ck are you bragging as the God of Aida!]
‘Do you think I wanted this!’
After busy and hectic days passed, the adjustment of the gate was finally completed.
Judging by the bruises on the face of the techie unicorn adjusting the gate, it was clear that Elcia had punished him in between.
“Please come this way. The coordinates have been pre-designated for the Forest of Elves.”
Following the techie unicorn’s words, we lined up in front of the gate, and soon the gate started to open.
Not wanting to make a fuss, I had planned to leave without saying farewell, but before I knew it, many unicorns, including the Great Unicorn, had come out to greet us.
The Great Unicorn said with a bitter smile.
“Please don’t just disappear without saying hello.”
“Do you want to say something dangerous till the end? Do you know how many accumulated reports there are?”
“Haha. I’ll be careful.”
[Don’t worry. Just show your amount of spending and I’ll let you pass as a pro sucker.]
‘F*ck, seriously.’
We exchanged goodbyes with the unicorns.
Although we had only stayed for a relatively short time, after meeting frequently, we somehow grew fond of each other.
“Ugh. Get lost, you unmarried girl!”
– Thwack!
“Gah!”
One was an exception.
Nevertheless, having said goodbye to everyone, we began to slowly step into the shimmering blue gate.
This time, it was proper metric units.
What a relief.
With each step I took, I could hear the grass crunching beneath my feet.
It was finally the moment I would set foot in the Forest of Elves.
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