A spring break called two-week vacation has been given.
Usually, during such a long yet short time, one would prepare for the second grade or create new memories with friends.
But I had no plans to spend this ordinary and cliché spring break.
After all, it’s human nature to seek out the new and beautiful.
“Ughhhh…”
It felt like a prison.
As if refusing to allow me to escape, it bound my limbs and led me into an endless swamp.
Could giving up everything here really lead to comfort?
On the contrary, at the moment of giving up, maybe an unknown abyss that no one has experienced would engulf me?
Once again, I say, humans are beautiful beings in pursuit of new experiences.
Thus, exploring this abyss is my divine mission…
“Minah! I told you to wake up!”
“Okay…”
Lying in bed doing nothing all day was a failure right from day one.
On a day when Mom isn’t around, I’ll definitely try again.
★
Internet broadcasting means consistently challenging oneself with new things while steadily providing familiar fun to the viewers.
What a paradoxical and difficult task that is.
In that realm, ‘Virtual YouTubers’ are particularly peculiar beings.
They create broadcasts in the guise of avatars instead of real human faces.
With fewer real-world constraints, it’s easy to challenge new things and maintain familiar entertainment.
But that also implies there are many more failures, and it’s easy to become bored by the familiar.
Only VTubers who can break through that wall truly deserve success.
For example, like Natsune Nanase.
So, do I possess that qualification?
Have I continuously challenged myself with new experiences while always offering familiar fun to Izutomo?
That’s not something I can answer.
I’m the one being evaluated, not the one doing the evaluating.
However, one thing I can assert with certainty: This current situation is something I have never experienced before.
“…Is this a joke?”
My question left Izutomo in the chatroom momentarily speechless.
It was that shocking and unexpected.
“Haha…”
What comes to mind when you think of Kainoh Izumi’s broadcast as a second-generation member of Star’s Flow?
Like it or not, even if I didn’t want to, the first thing that undoubtedly comes to mind is Yeo-sang.
I even have the infamous title of ‘Queen of Yeo-sang.’
Yet, that doesn’t mean my broadcast solely revolves around Yeo-sang.
Only recently, I’ve often done my broadcasts normally.
No, in fact, there were far more days without Yeo-sang than with it, leading to a bit of injustice about having such a nickname.
But I couldn’t deny my broadcast’s image is very closely tied to the keyword ‘Yeo-sang.’
So, where did that image come from?
Did it arise from my debut broadcast that shattered RP from the start?
No, it absolutely wasn’t that.
At that time, I had no broadcasting experience, and many of the Izutomo noticed that fact.
Of course, it didn’t have no influence at all, but it was more about the fun of watching a beginner’s mistakes. It didn’t lock my broadcast’s image in as ‘Yeo-sang.’
The image of my broadcast was created by the broadcast the following day.
That was the 10-line broadcast where I played TLQ and encouraged viewer participation.
I met my sub-character, got completely defeated, and when I found out, I screamed after shutting off the broadcast, not realizing the mic was still on, letting all viewers hear my scream.
That broadcast, which led me to declare a two-week period of reflection, shaped my image as ‘Yeo-sang.’
And the person who caused that is now facing me in rank match.
“Hoo, hoho…”
-I’ve never seen Mei smile like that.
Truthfully, I held no ill feelings toward ‘Flame of Affection.’
No, saying I felt grateful wouldn’t be an exaggeration.
At the time, I felt a bit wronged, but ultimately, thanks to that broadcast, my character became solidified and helped in the growth of my channel.
But that’s that, and this is this.
I still can’t forget the humiliation from that defeat.
Especially since we were both the same as back then: Shirazaki Shiro, the Silver Witch, and Leticia, the Blood Doll Monarch.
It was a perfect chance for revenge.
[3, 2, 1.]
[Usurp The Last Crown!]
As the game began, I naturally summoned the Black Knight, the catalyst for Leticia’s powers.
I summoned the Black Knight and closed in on my opponent, opting for either a close attack from the Black Knight or a ranged check from Leticia, creating a dual attack option.
The problem was that I had also started the game like this back then, only to be thoroughly toyed with by the Flame of Affection.
But the me from back then and the me now are different.
Now, I’m Kainoh Izumi, an owner VTuber with 183,000 subscribers, who has cleared Arcanum Shooter: Purgatory and ST with Tachi.
Since that day, practicing TLQ alone sometimes revealed that timing a guard on the Black Knight’s close attack causes momentary stiffness for Leticia.
However, since the Black Knight’s close attack is slow, it’s commonly judged to avoid rather than guard due to its tiny openings.
The catch is that my opponent was in the top 0.1% of TLQ users.
It wouldn’t be too difficult for them to guard at the right timing.
After creating stiffness for me, they could unleash their moves to toy with me.
But…
“There’s no way I’ll fall for that again!”
As the Flame of Affection’s Shiro guards, I did the same.
This would prevent Leticia from experiencing stiffness, returning the chance for attack to me.
In other words, an opportunity had come for me to attack unilaterally.
I input commands at the fastest speed and, as a result,
[You Lose]
I won one game but lost the next two consecutively, leading to the end of the game.
“Why…?”
-It was too early for me to challenge them still.
-Mei was too weak.
“Ugh, waaa…”
-Are you crying?
-Don’t cry.
“I’m not crying, okay?”
It’s just that sweat is flowing from my eyes…
★
[I feel like it might be time to give it a try.]
“Is that so…?”
As the day’s routine of singing practice concluded, Suzuha Koga brought that up.
[It’s still a bit awkward to hit the beats perfectly, but the flow doesn’t get interrupted while singing anymore, right? Then, I think it’s better for the other issues to be learned properly rather than me.
Indeed, when singing, I no longer stutter and break the flow.
So, following Koga’s advice, who had past experience as an underground idol, would certainly be best.
However.
“Right now, I think I’m okay because no one’s around me, and Koga is my opponent. But if I go to the training… wouldn’t I just revert back to the way I was?”
[Umm… Is that so? It’s true that being in a familiar environment is important. Hmm…]
Koga’s voice felt slightly elevated, but it wasn’t a major issue.
What’s important now was, ‘Would it be okay if I participated in vocal training?’
Of course, I wanted to start right away.
It was obvious to anyone that the delay of the second-generation member of Star’s Flow’s 3D debut was my own problem.
Every other second-generation member had uploaded covered songs right after their debut and was consistently doing singing broadcasts.
But I had no cover songs on my channel, nor had I ever conducted a singing broadcast.
There was no way I could do a 3D debut broadcast requiring songs and dances in that situation.
So I wanted to start vocal training immediately, but negative thoughts continued to hold me back.
What if my improvement was merely a delusion?
If the only reason I felt at ease was because I was speaking with Koga in a one-on-one situation?
What if I went to vocal training and due to my stuttering, it became impossible to train?
Those worries kept bubbling over.
“I still want to do live broadcasts. I don’t think my mind has changed about that. But the fear that I might not have changed at all… is terrifying.”
After expressing such honest feelings, Koga was silent for a moment.
But.
[Izumi.]
“Yes…?”
Eventually, Koga began to speak slowly.
[You want to do live broadcasts, right?]
“Yes. I do…”
I want to shine like Natsune.
[I don’t particularly stutter, and unlike you, when I sing, I don’t miss the beats, so I find it hard to relate to your worries.]
“Tha– That’s okay. It’s all my fault for being lacking…”
[But when I was an idol or doing solo internet broadcasts, I had similar worries. When what you wanted is just out of reach, it’s scary to feel like you’re stuck in place, right?]
“Yes…”
[But you know, if you stop because you’re scared, you may be comfortable but nothing will change? I think that’s even scarier.]
Those words were surely a heartfelt statement born from Koga’s experience.
[So how about giving it a shot? Of course, no improvement at all might be true.]
But then, Koga continued.
[So what? If you realize nothing has changed, you can slowly start to put in the effort again! It’s fine to take your time.]
“But what if it’s too late…?”
[What are you talking about? You’re not even in your second year of high school! It’s perfectly fine to fail at that age. Don’t worry.]
“Is that so…?”
[And if it’s okay because I’m the opponent, then I can just be there during your vocal training. After all, I’m also continuously taking lessons, so I can adjust my time. Right?]
“Koga.”
[Yes?]
“I feel really happy to be friends with you, Koga…”
[…Sometimes, I wonder if Izumi is doing that on purpose.]
“Huh?”
Wasn’t the atmosphere just good moments ago…?
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