After meeting Mika, we didn’t choose to return immediately. If I had to give a reason… well, I just didn’t have the confidence to perfectly hide my change in feelings from the Madam.
“Leader, tomorrow we won’t be able to use the last passage we know. I think it’d be best to return at this point.”
“…Ah, yeah. Misaki, you’re right; it’s probably best to return today to avoid suspicion.”
(Swoosh. Swish. Swoosh. Wheee.)
“Yeah, Princess. It’ll be fine. Mika said the preparations shouldn’t take more than two weeks, and they could be completed even earlier. Just to be safe, we’ve stretched it out as much as possible…”
I reassure the Princess, who has started communicating through sign language again to avoid unnecessary mistakes when we return to the Autonomous District. Since the structure of the Catacombs will change tomorrow night, if we return today, the chances of raising suspicion will be small. If we time it too well, we might draw suspicion we didn’t even need to.
“Ugh… I’m tired…”
“…Let’s rest for about an hour before returning. The night watch will be Azusa and me, so everyone else can catch some sleep.”
We, the Squad, have changed. Without a doubt. It was the change brought on by a single brief encounter just a few hours ago.
Azusa’s eyes, which once sparked excessive rebellion and anger, now glowed even hotter, raising concerns about whether she could hide it at all.
Hiyori, who used to fidget and feel anxious over small things, sometimes found herself dazed and giggling for no reason. I wasn’t sure whether to call this a good change…
Misaki seemed outwardly unchanged, but after being by her side since she first self-harmed, I could tell. Behind those hollow eyes, a sprout of hope was growing. The end of Misaki’s self-destructive behavior was not far off.
The Princess… it was clear that Atsuko had changed the most among us. She had found someone to look up to and aspire to be like. It felt like more than just that, but pinpointing exactly what was different was hard.
Just like in those days when we admired the gentle, graceful Princess with longing and envy… I realized that Atsuko’s eyes were now following someone named Mika.
It was understandable, as Atsuko, the brightest star among us, had never seen anyone shine brighter than her. She was drawn to someone else’s light, just as we were.
And me, Jomae Saori…
“Leader.”
“What is it, Azusa?”
“You’re going to be caught with that look. Adults are sensitive.”
“…Is that so.”
I thought I hadn’t changed much, but it seemed that I was mistaken.
“I can just brush it off as exhaustion from being chased for four days.”
“…If the leader says so, I understand.”
I just hope I don’t screw things up with my mistake.
*
“Squad, you’re back quite late.”
“It went awry. The contact was a high official from Trinity, and they were strong enough to make it tough even for the whole squad. Thanks to that, we had to struggle to shake off Trinity while injured.”
“Cheh. The Madam is waiting.”
As soon as we returned to the Autonomous District, one of the instructors, who had once brutally bullied Azusa, looked at us with contempt before leaving. Unlike before, we possessed value greater than the instructors in the Madam’s eyes, rendering their authority meaningless in front of us.
“…I’ll be back.”
I calmly bid farewell. It’s not goodbye. We’ll meet again in just an hour at most.
Someone quietly grasped my hand.
It was Atsuko.
Despite the gas mask obscuring her face, I could tell she was worried about me, so I patted her head in silence. I wanted to tell her it was all unnecessary worry, but… even I couldn’t be sure.
Hiyori. Misaki. Azusa.
I nodded at the other kids in silence. I couldn’t help but hope for a day when this gloomy atmosphere would lift, and smiles would bloom on everyone’s faces. The reason I thought to trust Mika was that I wanted to protect those kids behind me, to make them happy.
On our way to Arius Basilica, I caught a glimpse of myself reflected in a nearby window. Disheveled, my outfit a mess, and fatigue plainly visible on my face.
While dragging my feet to avoid raising the Madam’s suspicions, I aimlessly wandered through the dark corners of the Trinity Autonomous District, hoping these four days would prove meaningful in some way.
I think from the moment I made this decision, I sensed that I wouldn’t be able to fool the Madam… that I couldn’t possibly trick her.
“Welcome back, Saori. Though you were late coming back, seeing that wretched appearance means there was a reason, right?”
“…Yes. We were deceived by Trinity, Madam.”
“Really? How so?”
“They set a trap to capture one of our high-ranking officials and extract information. By the time we realized it was a trap, a large encirclement had already been completed… Fortunately, we managed to overpower Trinity’s representative, which allowed us to slip through the encirclement. We couldn’t come back sooner due to shaking off the pursuit—”
“Enough. I understand. It seems that the representative advocating for reconciliation was a cunning snake.”
Just as I thought our prepared excuse was working, the Madam spoke again.
“Have you succeeded in verifying the hypothesis I proposed?”
“…Yes, Madam. The adversary introduced themselves as the host of the Trinity T-party.”
“The T-party host… So it was that young lady who made her first appearance recently in the public eye. Then her true reason for approaching us certainly wasn’t for reconciliation, but judging by her aggressive stance toward Gehenna, she might be intent on absorbing the remnants of Arius. Hmm… what a bold young lady. I’m quite interested in having a conversation with her.”
…Oh no. Drawing the Madam’s interest like this isn’t good news for Mika. It might have been better to come off as a naive girl truly seeking reconciliation and still possessing some value to exploit.
“But, Saori.”
“Yes, Madam?”
The multitude of the Madam’s eyes turned my way, and my body stiffened. Her bizarre, crimson eyes seemed to pierce through me with a cold, scrutinizing gaze.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
With every sound of the Madam’s heels, I felt goosebumps crawling over my body and an overwhelming sense of dread.
The multitude of eyes had come uncomfortably close, freezing me with a gaze that felt like the oppressive weight of a ruler.
Swish— Clap!
The sound of the Madam’s fan snapping open lifted my chin. This made my gaze, which had unintentionally fallen, rise to meet the Madam’s face once more.
“Why do I see something filthy and disgusting in those eyes, something that should not exist?”
“I… I don’t quite understand what you mean—”
“No, that’s not it. Saori, if you were the old you, you would’ve knelt here begging for my forgiveness, pleading for mercy while letting go of everything just to spare those precious kids of yours.”
“…”
“I’ll ask you again, Saori. I’ll only ask once, so I recommend you answer carefully.”
There’s nothing more fearsome than ingrained terror. My body remembers the consequences of resistance, so I refuse the commands running through my mind. That’s why we, Arius’ students, cannot defy the Madam.
“Why do I see hope, buried and trampled until it could never bloom again, in those two eyes? Why? Are you plotting something behind my back, Saori? Didn’t I tell you that if you wanted to protect those kids, you had to obey my orders? That’s the only right answer.”
I felt like a frog in front of a snake. But I was even worse than that. Frogs, despite their fear, might still plan an escape, but I couldn’t even move as I stood frozen in place.
“You don’t plan on answering, do you? Well then, have you been dreaming? A sweet dream? Have you forgotten why you’ve had to live such a pitiful life? Why you had to feel cold, hungry, and despairing?”
We learned it was all because of Trinity, and that was no lie.
It was Trinity that took our homeland from us, that brought us such a dire fall into a life filled only with pain.
It was Trinity that forced us to steal scraps of bread like beggars to survive, to drink from stagnant puddles and rainwater, to huddle together for warmth each night as we fell asleep.
All because of Trinity.
“Yes, I taught you that clearly, didn’t I? You don’t forget that, do you? So why were you showing such a bold and unpleasant look? Who have you been listening to, and what did they say? Was it that young lady who calls herself the T-party host?”
“…”
“Hmm… judging by that expression, I guess that’s right. Ha, to be swayed by the enemy! That makes you utterly useless as a tool. I must have misjudged you. Don’t you think so, Saori?”
It’s all in vain. Everything is in vain.
But even if everything’s in vain, I can’t stop resisting.
If everything is in vain, why was I ready to throw everything away for those kids?
It’s simply because they are as precious to me as my own life, perhaps even more.
“I see; it’s time to settle what has been postponed. After all, Trinity and Gehenna are not essential elements of my plan, so it’s no loss for me.”
A sacrifice.
The day Atsuko was to be offered as a sacrifice comes to mind, the deal I made with the Madam. But the moment I betrayed the Madam first, the deal lost its effectiveness.
My judgment was quick. Before long, I felt the gun in my hand. And its aim was set on the Madam.
“…Dare you aim such a toy at me? You, Saori?”
Even if Trinity was the reason we had to suffer through such a painful life, if the person Atsuko was so captivated by promised a better tomorrow, then I could believe it.
No, whatever the case may be, it’d be better than being sacrificed to such a monster.
So I hope those other kids can at least find happiness… that they can escape from here safely.
“Madam.”
“Yes, Saori. Go ahead and tell me with that broken mouth of yours. What has made you into this?”
“I have nothing to say to a monster like you.”
I pulled the trigger.
