What was I like?
I’ve been thinking about Shii while watching her these past few days.
How wary was I of Kagami when I was little?
It wasn’t too intense, but I think it did take quite a while to adjust. Now, I’ve completely adapted to Kagami — um, I can’t even sleep properly if she’s not right next to me, but back then, the memories of my previous life were still much clearer.
Even though I was born here as Kagami’s daughter, I wonder how Shii felt living in a different house.
During the first few days, it seemed like Shii thought we might suddenly turn on her and abuse her in her sleep.
Or did she think our current appearances were mere illusions?
But thanks to Sota visiting almost every day after school, it seemed like Shii’s feelings started to ease a bit.
Maybe it was because Shii’s parents were not around. In front of Sota, Shii would gradually start to smile. Sota made some pretty boring, elementary school-type jokes that honestly didn’t amuse me at all, but every time he did, Shii would burst into a giggle.
…I ended up laughing along just to fit in.
Before I knew it, Sota was naturally walking home with me.
Of course, up until a point, Sota was with his friends, and I was with mine, but after we parted from our friends, Sota would stop by our house for a bit to see Shii. For about an hour or two.
No matter how strong an older brother he might be, Sota’s still an elementary school student. He couldn’t completely go against his father’s wishes. He was an old-fashioned person who placed importance on authority… and for dinner, the two of them had to eat together.
…Old-fashioned, huh.
If you just look at the age, my dad seems to be older. What kind of childhood do you have to have to become that kind of adult?
“Sota.”
It had been about two weeks since then.
On a day where the chill of winter was starting to show, I suggested to Sota,
“How about we take Shii out for a bit?”
“Huh?”
Sota seemed a bit flustered since I brought that up out of nowhere on our way home.
Shii had been at our home for those two weeks straight.
From what I observed during that time, one thing became clear: Shii preferred being alone more than I had expected.
Not that it was an absolute preference, though. If I had to pin it down, she most enjoyed being with her older brother. But when it wasn’t that time, she preferred being alone over being with adults. Out of everyone around, I was still the only one she didn’t mind being next to.
I think I understand why. It’s because I didn’t seem like an adult. At least on the surface.
Kagami always spoke to Shii in a gentle voice, and she even helped her shower from time to time. She would buy her clean clothes and all sorts of snacks.
As for school… I’m still figuring it out. I had no idea how Shii attended school before. She certainly wasn’t someone who went to school in this neighborhood.
That wasn’t a story I could help with, so I left it up to Kagami and Dad.
Anyway, Shii’s wariness of adults had been gradually decreasing, but still, so far, she only showed some hostility towards me and Sota.
“It’s just… I somehow want to show Shii around the neighborhood.”
I had no intention of dragging her out against her will.
But I somehow felt that Sota would mesh perfectly with Shii.
“Um, is that okay?”
Look at that.
Even Sota, who had been keeping his distance because he felt a bit awkward walking with me, seemed to perk up at the mention of Shii.
Just how much does he like his younger sister—
“……”
“Koto Ne?”
“Ah, sorry.”
For some reason, when I thought about the two of them together, something was bubbling up in my mind.
The reason I wanted to take them out together was also tied to this. Every time I saw Shii and Sota at the same time, a strange tickling sensation deep inside me started to arise. It wasn’t the kind of tickling that made you laugh; rather, it felt like some kind of memory was trying to surface.
If my being born in this world wasn’t just about living my ‘next life’,
Then that memory would definitely serve as a huge hint about this world.
“Shii, you’ve been in our house for two weeks now.”
To be more precise, she had spent most of that time in my room. Still, after I went to school, she occasionally came down to the living room, and she was using the bathroom and shower just fine.
Being a third wheel isn’t particularly enjoyable. After all, Shii was a kid who used to be in a tough spot with her own mom. Just because her environment changed doesn’t mean a person changes completely.
Still, it was good that she didn’t seem to have issues with eating. Shii liked meat, sweet foods, and ice cream, and she would eat them as if she wouldn’t be able to have them again.
“I think she’d enjoy eating out.”
“……Um.”
Sota seemed lost in thought after my comment.
He knew he had to eat dinner with his dad,
But that didn’t mean Sota couldn’t have some time out to play either.
I just thought it would be nice to sit and enjoy ice cream together, that’s all.
“Are you okay with that?”
“I’m okay.”
Somehow, I ended up naturally inserting myself into the situation, but it didn’t seem like Sota was finding it strange.
I’d love to let them have some time to themselves, but for some reason, I wasn’t feeling at ease. Sota, for an elementary school student, had a mature demeanor, but in my eyes, he still seemed quite young.
I had indeed mentioned it to Kagami before heading to school in the morning.
Considering how worried she gets about me, I felt she would keep her distance and follow us around, but… well, that’s just up to Kagami.
After all, Dad is here too.
I realized that Shii was quite the talkative child.
In our house, around adults, Shii didn’t talk much like this.
Even in front of someone she wasn’t wary of, she was the same. There wasn’t much to talk about between us, and I wasn’t really the type to start conversations with Shii either.
In the distance, I could see Kagami and Dad sitting not too far from where we were. Thankfully, Shii didn’t seem to notice.
“So, yesterday, I had chocolate,”
Shii exclaimed excitedly.
“Really?”
Shii continued her lively chatter.
Honorifics.
Shii was using somewhat clumsy honorifics with Sota. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe she was influenced by something she saw on TV?
At first, Sota seemed to find it odd, but he didn’t point it out.
Shii talked about the usual things: what she did during the day, what she ate, how long she had slept, and how soft her bed was.
Speaking of beds, Shii sleeps alone. It seemed to be more comfortable for her. A silent and peaceful night without anyone interrupting her.
For me, it didn’t matter since I was sleeping with Kagami. Honestly, it was nice to have an excuse for that.
It didn’t seem like Shii thought our home was all that odd. If anything, if you had to compare, it was her home that was, um, odder.
“I see.”
Sota nodded, taking a mature stance in accepting her story.
With Sota generously replying a few times, Shii hesitated for a moment before finally opening her mouth.
“Older brother.”
“……Older brother?”
Both Sota’s and my hands froze. With a piece of pancake skewered on his fork, Sota looked blank for a moment before glancing at me.
I shook my head.
Older brother? Older brother? After tilting my head several times, I suddenly remembered that Shii really liked manga.
Was it because of the life she had lived? Shii… somehow?
She liked manga that featured everyday life. Not the violent type.
Ah, I see.
If it had something to do with manga, and if that’s how she learned to speak, then it wouldn’t be surprising. Wanting to imitate the dialogue from the manga she adored was a common behavior in young children.
Even Harumi had followed along trying to transform into a magical girl several times—
“Pfft.”
Thinking that made me chuckle a bit.
Shii and Sota looked at me.
I quickly fixed my expression and bit into my pancake.
Older brother, huh. Well, having at least one odd nickname isn’t so bad.
After all, looking back, all the kids around me had unique personalities.
Older brother—
…
Older brother?
I paused my hand briefly.
Shii was energetically chatting with her older brother again. Just like a little kid recounting everything that happened to her to her parent.
Sota.
Sasaki Sota.
Shii.
Sasaki Shii.
The degree of expectations from a younger sibling towards her older brother, both of whom had divorced parents and Shii who had been abused.
And also, with Shii using the term “older brother.”
…
I blinked my eyes.
The tip of my fork trembled slightly, but I was able to maintain my usual expression as best I could.
It dawned on me. Finally.
The identity of the sense of incongruity I felt whenever the two of them were next to each other.
It seemed like I really was inside a novel. All this time.
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