Should I say I was tense?
Rather, I was a bit tired.
Adapting to a new school couldn’t have been something that just happens regularly.
I had already spent a few years with friends before, and it had been about a year and a half since I had known Mako.
One and a half years.
If I were in middle school, that would mean I had already completed half of my middle school life. The same goes for high school, and I could say I had completed almost a third of university in that period.
If I had to transfer just once, it couldn’t be said that time was too short.
Yet, the reason I felt this exhausted was that my relationships were completely reset, and I had to start building them all over again from scratch.
“I have to get along well.”
It was something I had heard from my homeroom teacher a few times.
Should I say it’s fortunate? The kids’ gazes sparkled brightly.
Koto Ne is pretty. It was something I heard everywhere I went. Not just pretty, but since Kagami always did her best to groom her appearance, she could confidently say she wouldn’t lose to anyone at any school.
Well, it’s not surprising that a daughter wouldn’t inherit a mother’s beauty if the mother is that beautiful.
Is that… something to be happy about?
Um, I’m not sure. I do feel proud, and I think it’s an opportunity for the kids to get to know each other, but my thoughts just halted right there.
In the depths of my heart, a strange sense of unease still lingered.
Even if I made friends here, if those watching us were to say we have to move elsewhere, then I’d have to.
The fact that my relationships depend on others was not a pleasant thing at all.
“Thank you in advance.”
Still, I gently greeted them and introduced myself.
…I don’t want to think that it has turned into mere bubbles.
As long as we try, our lives continue. No matter what stories are intertwined above and behind us, normalcy ultimately arises from our awareness and the awareness of those around us.
So, I decided to think that way.
The kids kindly approached me.
Once they reach the upper grades of elementary school, taller kids start to emerge.
They begin to grasp what authority is, and some kids start to enjoy bullying others after putting on a badge of power.
Fortunately, it seems that there isn’t anyone like that in this class.
However, speaking of which…
The kids who talked to me weren’t only girls.
In lower grades, the kids would often fight, divided between boys and girls, but now they slowly began to be aware of each other’s genders.
Well, it wouldn’t be strange for kids to start dating. Who knows how far elementary school romances go, though.
Though it’s not common, there were one or two kids in the class claiming “we’re dating.”
“Hey, Koto Ne.”
One of the kids who spoke to me called out my name confidently.
This was partly my fault.
I had kept my name, but my demeanor had changed again. I wasn’t particularly eager to remember or adjust to my past mannerisms anymore.
So, I reacted a bit late when called by my surname, but when they used my name, I responded right away. Thus, the kids naturally began to call me by my name.
Is this dangerous?
…I’m not sure. But seeing that I had kept Koto Ne as my name, perhaps I wanted to keep at least that much intact.
The kids I had just met were somewhat burdensome.
What do you like? I talked about the magical girl stories I watched with Harumi and Yuuki. The kids laughed, asking if it was too childish, but they seemed to think it suited me pretty well and didn’t tease me about it.
What are your hobbies? I said wandering around alleys and collecting insects. There were some kids who went “Eeeh!?” in surprise. This was also something I did with Harumi and Yuuki. Even after several years, I still regarded that memory as my own.
By the way, what did you do during summer vacation? I answered camping. I left out the part about Mako. It was a memory with Mako, but there was no reason to mention being eaten by a bear.
The more I answered, the clearer it became that my memories were not truly mine alone, which hurt a bit.
Even to fabricate things eventually.
Then, suddenly, I caught eyes with a boy who was staring at me from a distance.
Was he looking at me purely because of my appearance? I’m not sure. The duration of our eye contact wasn’t that long.
Or perhaps he was just absentmindedly staring somewhere, and when our eyes met, he quickly looked away.
When that boy withdrew his gaze, I did the same.
Even though the kids were so enthusiastic about talking to me on my first day, that excited atmosphere quickly faded away into the usual after just a week.
Instead, discussions about the upcoming sports festival or school event made me a bit excited.
To be honest, I was somewhat uninterested. After all, all the kids in this class were new faces to me. How could I know who was good at soccer, who was good at volleyball, or how well anyone could jump?
Still, I was glad that the excessive attention was slightly reduced. There were still kids who frequently surrounded me, chattering away, and I responded moderately, but it wasn’t to the point of being overwhelming.
Among them, there might be kids who will become like Harumi or Yuuki or Mako in the future.
…
Thinking that far, I felt a bit bad.
In the end, even after coming this far, was I still seeking a copy of my childhood friends? Perhaps the past of this world is binding me in its own way.
“Hey, Koto Ne. Do you want to do something? Is there any specific event you want to participate in during the sports festival?”
“……”
I thought for a moment and said,
“I’m not good at sports. I don’t even like it…”
As I said that, I trailed off a bit.
“Ah, but you must have done something at your previous school.”
There was a kid persistently asking, so I nodded.
“Cheerleading team.”
All the kids reacted with an exaggerated, “Eeeh!?” I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Perhaps this was part of the unique atmosphere created by these kids. When I listened, it seemed like there were some kids who had been together since childhood.
“That sounds like it would suit you!”
One boy said, and several others turned to look at me.
“Did you wear a cheerleader outfit?”
“…Yeah.”
Though I felt a bit shy saying that. It was true. I had been on the cheerleading team when I was with Harumi and Yuuki. Before I knew it, that image of me had solidified among the kids.
It’s a somewhat embarrassing story, but I was somewhat confident in that area. I couldn’t perform the high-level techniques like professional cheerleaders, but…
As we continued talking, I found myself ready to join the cheerleading team again this time.
But once I had my name on the list, I felt a bit anxious.
The only reason I was able to be on the cheerleading team was because Harumi and Yuuki were there.
Would I be able to manage well this time?
Even though I did say I had made friends, it was still somewhat challenging to do everything together until we go home after school.
At first, we clustered together to return home, but ultimately, we would have to part ways in between. In Japan, especially the residential areas are spread out widely, so my way home was still alone for now.
…So I thought.
Thinking of Harumi and Yuuki after such a long time made me feel gloomy and I was wandering around absentmindedly.
I directed my gaze at the sky. As I casually looked up at the blue sky, walking without any thoughts,
“…Ah!?”
I happened to trip over a stone and fell.
“…Ow.”
I thought it wouldn’t take long for the wound to heal. I had had much worse injuries before.
Looking at my knee, it wasn’t a huge wound that would even bleed.
“Are you okay?”
But there was a kid who came up to me while I was sitting on the ground, staring at my wound in a daze.
When I looked up, it was a boy.
He was from my class. I hadn’t spoken with him before. I wasn’t sharp enough to memorize all the names and personalities of the kids in class just after a week.
Before I could say anything, the boy looked at my knee and took something out of his pocket.
…A handkerchief?
Then he casually wrapped the cloth around the minor bleeding wound.
I was momentarily baffled and stared at the boy’s face dumbfounded.
“You’re Kanagawa, right?”
Oh, right. I was currently using that surname.
“……I’m Koto Ne. That’s what everyone calls me.”
I replied that way.
“Koto Ne.”
The boy smiled slightly as he looked at me.
“I’m Sasaki. Sasaki Sota.”
For a moment, I hesitated over how to address him.
Logically, it would be right to call him Sasaki. At this age, I should at least start adding “-san,” “-chan,” or “-kun” to his name.
But—
“Or should I just call you by your name?”
Is this even a thing to do right from our first meeting? I had already told him to call me by name.
Moreover—
Somehow, that name feels like a memory in my mind.
Sota is not a rare name, and Sasaki is kind of common too. I might have heard those names several times among boys till now.
But strangely, when I heard “Sasaki Sota,” something flickered in my heart.
“……Sota.”
“Koto Ne.”
Since being called by name seemed somewhat embarrassing for him, Sota extended his hand towards me.
For a moment, I stared at his hand, then grabbed it.
He helped lift me up and gently put an arm around my shoulder.
“My house is this way too.”
Sota said.
“I’ll help you.”
“……”
I couldn’t bring myself to say no, so I quietly said nothing.
With me slightly limping, Sasaki Sota and I walked side by side on our way home.
All the way home, I kept thinking about the name Sasaki Sota.
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