Is it the remaining period of vacation?
Since I had to leave my original school, it wasn’t really their vacation anymore, but we still tried our best to find ‘normalcy’ again.
We didn’t go out much and basically stayed indoors.
Strangely enough, even though we kept moving from a cramped place to a gradually larger house, I adapted quickly to the size. It’s even a traditional two-story Japanese house now.
The house itself seemed to have been used as a safe house from the start, as there were various pieces of furniture inside.
Kagami slowly adapted to the kitchen while cooking, and the uncle casually mixed in conversation with us during meals.
We… didn’t have serious conversations. It had become somewhat of an unwritten rule.
As we couldn’t go far yet, I hadn’t kept my promise to go to the grave with the uncle, but well.
While we adapted to the house itself—
“…Me alone?”
There was one thing I found difficult to adapt to.
“Koto Ne.”
This house is a two-story one.
The first floor has the living room, the main bedroom, and a guest room that’s somewhat smaller than the main room. The second floor has three empty rooms. Two of them are relatively spacious, though not as big as the master, and one is about the size of the guest room on the first floor. That guest room even has a balcony.
In an ordinary family, it’s natural for kids to have their own room before they even become elementary school students. Harumi and Yuuki were like that, after all.
Kagami placed a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
“…Mom.”
“If things were as they should be, I should have made a room for you long ago.”
“….”
We… had lived in such cramped places.
The house we lived in right after Kagami took me and fled was literally a one-room apartment. A place where the boundary between the kitchen and the room was almost nonexistent. My memories of that time are fuzzy, but Kagami always hugged me close when we were at home, so I thought even that room felt quite spacious.
The next house was also a one-room apartment, but— it was slightly bigger than where we used to live. There was even a door separating the kitchen and the room.
It was the place where I had spent the longest time with Kagami. It wasn’t really our home, just a place we rented, but still, it felt to me like the place where I had the most connection.
And there, too, Kagami and I were always together.
It was the same at the rural house.
A single-story house with one living room and two rooms. Since the uncle used the other room, naturally, I shared a room with Kagami.
Maybe until then, there was a reason behind it. The fact that Kagami and I spent so much time together was simply due to lack of space in the house.
But thinking back, I just liked being with Kagami.
“Koto Ne.”
Kagami spoke gently as if to soothe me and tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Mom will be in the next room.”
“….”
As I pouted my lips, Kagami smiled for the first time in a while.
Then, as if finding me adorable, she squatted down and hugged me tightly.
Usually, I bury my face in Kagami’s arms, but this time, Kagami buried her face in my embrace.
I silently hugged Kagami tightly.
Kagami’s shoulders slightly relaxed. Seeing her take a deep breath, it seemed like she was able to ease her heart a little.
“…Okay.”
I said.
“That’s normal.”
Kagami smiled softly and gently patted my back.
*
Uncle decided to live in the first-floor main bedroom but also planned to use one of the empty rooms on the second floor as an office. He still hadn’t decided what to do in this neighborhood.
Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to bring a bed into the empty room and have Uncle live upstairs too. After all, during the day, everyone would gather in the first-floor living room anyway.
Right. It was just another separate room anyway.
I can’t know how long I’ll think being closer to Kagami is a good thing.
My personality won’t change, but as they say, humans are slaves to hormones. Throughout puberty, there will be various hormones acting up in my brain, making me irritable, and sometimes I might need to be alone to feel at ease.
Kagami, who had diligently studied parenting while raising me, would have figured that out quickly. Given the opportunity, she likely created a room for me.
So, it doesn’t matter.
“There’s a TV, and there are videos.”
This was my first space in this world, and my first gadgets too.
……
But I didn’t know what to do alone.
In my previous life, I was locked alone in a room and spent time almost like training, and even then, I somewhat knew how to pass the time.
I know the theory and remember it. I could watch TV or read a book alone. It’s Japan after all. It wouldn’t be too much trouble to go to a place like the school and buy comic magazines once I start attending classes.
I scratched my head and turned on the TV with the remote.
The program I liked was airing at that time, so I turned it on and lay on the bed, staring blankly.
“….”
My time, but somehow it felt boring.
In other words, kids my age usually hang around either in their room or downstairs in the living room with family while at home.
Um.
I turned off the TV again. For some reason, it just didn’t seem fun.
Even straining to listen, there was no sound, probably because everyone was in their own rooms. Instead, the sounds of children playing outside the window were clearer to my ears.
Someday, will there come a day when I’m in a room like this and Kagami calls me down for dinner from downstairs, and I’ll look annoyed?
……
I don’t know.
*
I had a nightmare for the first time in a long while.
It was a memory from my previous life. A family’s memory.
Having passed quite some time in this world, I thought the faces of my family had faded away, but it felt as if they reappeared in my memory as if asking if I had forgotten.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t the ordinary faces that dwell in my memory.
It was the image of my family crushed between the front and back, squashed between the seats, and twisted, like a wrecked car.
Blood dripped, and the clock ticked away.
It was the clock I had given as a gift.
*
I jolted awake as if my leg had crammed up.
My whole body was stiff. From my neck down to my toes, my muscles were tense and rigid, and I was almost cramping in my legs.
“…Haah.”
I forced myself to breathe slowly. That much still remained in my mind.
Forcing my breath out slowly, I tried to release the tension in my body as much as possible. Then I turned on my side and curled up.
No matter how much I clutched the thin blanket, there wasn’t a mom next to me saying it was okay.
Raindrops were banging against the window vigorously.
The weather had become a bit gloomy since earlier, and now it was pouring down rain.
Summer is slowly coming to an end.
“….”
I tried to relax my body as much as possible and closed my eyes to fall back asleep, but I couldn’t.
Like on the day I watched a terrifying movie, the faces of my family from that dream kept floating in front of me.
Still drowsy and having just awoken from a nightmare, I reluctantly got out of bed.
I fidgeted, getting out of bed, grabbed a pillow, and walked out of the room.
Kagami’s room was directly across from mine.
The clothes I was wearing in the middle of the night felt so chilly that I shivered before gently walking down the hallway towards Kagami’s room.
……
Even as a daughter, would she be angry if I sneak in at midnight?
Thinking about it, Kagami had never been angry at me before.
I gently opened the door.
From the inside came soft breathing sounds. An unmistakable sound. Kagami didn’t move much in her sleep, so I had never woken her up even while staying beside her.
I tiptoed carefully and climbed onto the bed so as not to wake Kagami.
Not having the courage to reach out my arm, I curled up and gently leaned my forehead against her back.
Just her warmth was enough to calm my heart.
At least, I realized I hadn’t lost my family in this world.
Not long after I woke up, fatigue washed over me, and I drifted back into slumber.
I slept in till late the next morning, skipping the breakfast time entirely.
*
Kagami opened her eyes to the feeling of movement in her arms.
Looking down, she saw the familiar black hair.
Koto Ne had somehow snuggled into Kagami’s embrace, tightly hugging her waist.
“……Mom.”
And even mumbled that in her sleep.
They had definitely agreed to sleep separately starting today.
“……”
Could it be that Koto Ne had become too dependent on Kagami? Even waking up in the middle of the night, Kagami was worried about that.
But—
“……Hehe.”
Still, Kagami thought Koto Ne would be hard to resist for her.
“Koto Ne.”
Even after all that had happened, Koto Ne was still Koto Ne. Always the adorable daughter of Kagami.
“……”
Logically thinking, it wouldn’t be a good thing for a daughter at this age to sleep with her mother.
But at least, this action made Kagami feel like she was still needed, and she couldn’t completely hide her joy.
“Koto Ne.”
Kagami gently hugged Koto Ne in her arms and spoke.
“Thank you.”
She wouldn’t be able to hear it deeply in her sleep, but—
“Really, thank you.”
For being the reason to live.
In that soft warmth, Kagami soon fell back asleep.
She ended up waking late the next morning.
Breakfast time had long passed.
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