Ten years had passed since I started living in this world, and only then did I realize it was a fantasy.
In fact, from the time I escaped last time, I had some awareness. I just couldn’t accept the situation back then as merely being chased.
However, hearing the story like this causes one to think a bit differently.
Yōkai?
Monsters?
In a world where such things exist, there are naturally people who control them.
The government was struggling to control them in their own way, and Mako’s father was one of those people. It seems he came here to handle an incident that happened nearby.
Yōkai originally are beings that do not belong to this world.
They say in order to hunt people, they need to create their own nest and attract them. It’s said that some people can feel the presence of such beings.
Even though I felt my involvement might be a bit different from that.
It appeared suddenly. It didn’t seem like an ordinary bear at all, and I felt no sign of a nest. Or maybe I just couldn’t sense those things?
But honestly speaking, I didn’t really care about that.
In the novels and manga I had seen, there were a lot of occurrences involving Yōkai. Even after hearing such a story, I still didn’t understand what kind of world this was.
I hadn’t met any primary characters.
I was just concerned about Kagami’s reaction.
Kagami, sitting next to me and listening to Mako’s father’s story, had his head lowered.
Seeing that he couldn’t even meet my gaze, it seemed Kagami felt some guilt towards me.
Kagami’s thought of wanting to live normally might perhaps be because of my condition.
The woman in my dream said that beings would come looking for me in the future.
What it meant that time was being dragged on, and what it meant that more beings were looking at me, I didn’t really understand.
“……”
I reached out and grabbed Kagami’s sleeve.
Kagami also reached out and placed his hand over mine.
I didn’t care what Kagami said to me or didn’t say.
The reason for that, I felt too certain about right now.
The dream of living normally was broken right in this place. I couldn’t even fathom the wounds that Kagami must have received.
“……I’ll give you some time to think.”
Mako’s father said that and then left the room.
Kagami hugged me.
As if to cry again just like before when he held me, Kagami once more began to weep.
“……”
I too, snuggled up to him and cried.
*
In the end, we accepted that proposal.
There was nothing else we could do.
Now that our identity was exposed, if we were to escape far away to avoid protection, we would just end up being monitored instead.
The only silver lining I could think of was that the other party was Mako’s father, whom I knew.
Although the gentle image of him, which hadn’t shown much emotion, had practically vanished by now.
And we at least didn’t need to run away immediately.
“……Mako.”
About a week after that incident, I met Mako again.
In fact, if it was the memory of a younger elementary school student or a kindergarten child, I might forget later. Even if it was the memory of a higher grade in elementary school, how could I forget it—well, those memories usually linger somewhat in one’s mind.
Moreover, with such a shocking incident.
The only fortunate thing was that Mako didn’t directly witness the scene of me being bitten. At the moment I pushed Mako away while telling him to run, he really managed to escape.
There was nothing else I could do.
What could a child do other than call the adults?
And that’s how Mako was able to remain safe.
A bear could easily carry off a child.
And the strength of its forepaw was tremendous. Just a single swipe could have been devastating for Mako…
More than anything, that wasn’t really a bear, so it would be several times more dangerous. What remained was, in consequence, my correct judgment.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”
But the moment our eyes met, Mako burst into tears. His nose was sniffing in a way that didn’t seem ordinary.
Ah.
It didn’t seem like Mako was simply traumatized by the sight of me being bitten.
Maybe, just maybe…
Could it be that he felt guilty for leaving me behind?
Mako is a good kid after all. He’s the kind of child who thinks of others and wishes for his close friend not to get hurt.
“It’s not true.”
Thus, I said, trying to hold back my tears as much as possible, and spoke decisively to Mako.
“No, it’s absolutely not true.”
“But, Koto Ne…”
“Mako.”
As I said this, I spread my hands in front of Mako.
“How about this?”
“Huh?”
“How do my hands look?”
“……”
Caught off guard by my somewhat unexpected question, Mako blinked. After staring blankly at me for a while, Mako tilted his head and spoke.
“They look okay?”
As if he himself wasn’t sure of what he was saying, he ended it with a question mark.
However, the answer I had been waiting for was exactly that.
“That’s right.”
I nodded and forced a smile while saying.
“I’m perfectly fine. Not hurt at all.”
“Oh, oh…”
Mako still looked confused. I could understand why Mako’s father didn’t let him meet me for a while. He probably needed a bit of time to compose himself.
“So, it’s okay.”
“But, but?”
“That incident, I think I misinterpreted it.”
I lied.
This wasn’t something discussed with the adults. The adults would also be troubled by it. What would they say to a child?
But I wasn’t just a little kid. At least the soul within me knew that I was somewhat of an adult.
So, everything is okay.
No one died. At least, not this time. My friend wouldn’t become a sacrifice.
Honestly, I hadn’t even been able to properly judge whether I was hurt or not.
So it’s all fine.
“……I’m sorry. Was I being too dramatic?”
“Uh? Huh?”
Mako seemed to still be perplexed, tilting his head.
“No, Koto Ne, you don’t have to apologize.”
Anyway, it was much better than thinking sadly or horrifically about it; just being in an awkward situation felt far more preferable. The tears flowing from surprised Mako’s eyes were much calmer now.
“Mako.”
I reached out and took Mako’s hand.
“I’m sorry.”
“Huh?”
“I… think I’ll have to move away.”
“Koto Ne?”
“I thought we would be together until the end of this year, but it seems I can’t do that.”
“……”
Mako’s eyes went wide again.
And soon, tears began to flow.
He cried once more.
Really, I am a bad guy. How to say it? After meeting and talking with kids of similar ages for several years, I still don’t know how to talk to people.
“……I’m sorry. It just happened—”
But before I could finish my sentence, my vision was obstructed by hair.
Mako had tightly hugged me.
“……”
I remained still for a time, unable to do anything, and eventually began to pat Mako’s back.
Children simply follow the adults.
There are sudden cases where a father suddenly gets transferred far away and drags the kid to move, and conversely, there are also cases of suddenly coming to live here.
They can disappear suddenly and be forgotten from memory quickly, or conversely, they may pop out unexpectedly and take up a rightful place in your memories.
What kind of child would I become in Mako’s memory?
…Besides Mako, in other children’s memories.
It was indeed a selfish thought. I wanted the children to continuously remember me.
I didn’t want to become someone no one knew.
We stood there silently for quite a while.
The sun was hot.
However, I didn’t particularly want to fall away.
If I fall now, I don’t know if I would be able to meet again.
Thus, my summer of 1999 came to an end.
*
We moved to a place that, ironically enough, was Tokyo.
Naturally, it was quite far from downtown Tokyo.
Just as you get to the outskirts of Seoul, you can see high-rise buildings gradually disappearing, revealing some empty land, and the scale of Tokyo at the ‘do’ level is no different.
Kagami and I ended up in a place at the edge of that Tokyo.
“……”
The uncle, who plays the fatherly role, came along as well.
The place we could stay was a simple two-story house, a place where a car could fit in front. A house like what you’d see in old comics featuring famous kindergarten protagonists.
Kagami, holding my hand as he looked up at the house, didn’t seem that happy.
The uncle was the same.
Neither did I.
Even if we restart here, I don’t know how far we can go. Really.
I just don’t want to give up.
Probably, thinking about Kagami, who was holding my hand tightly—Kagami must have felt the same way.
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