I’ve thought about such things.
Wouldn’t it be more enjoyable to go back to childhood?
Aside from things like buying stocks from various companies that will skyrocket, or remembering lottery numbers, I can’t help but think that if I just hoarded virtual currency as soon as it came out and left it for about ten years—that’s only if there’s a clear opportunity to solve money problems— it wouldn’t be all that fun.
Well, that makes sense, because if I were to relive my middle school or high school years, I’d end up having to study again! No matter how little I studied back then, I honestly think just sitting at a desk with books open for hours is nothing less than torture.
I’d have to go back to the military again.
Ultimately, I’d meet the same friends. My spending money would still be limited, and I wouldn’t study particularly harder, so there’s no way I’d end up in an impressive university.
I’d just spend another period of those years, waiting boringly for the hobbies I had back then.
Excluding money problems, I didn’t really feel a strong desire to go back.
…
Well, there were moments I’d like to return to, just not my “childhood.” But still, what should I say…
Is it because the world I lived in wasn’t this one? Or is it that I know there are definitely things I can enjoy in this world?
Thinking back to my middle school and high school days, I could hardly understand Japanese, but in this world, even without trying to learn, I could understand and use Japanese from the start. That means I could just follow along with the latest manga and anime, right?
That sounds fun in its own way.
It would be enjoyable, but—well, it’s not something I can do “now.” There are still a few years left, and considering my family’s situation, I can’t be sure if I’ll truly enjoy it 100%.
Would Kagami just watch me wander around Akihabara? Hmm.
Anyway, that’s the way it is.
I didn’t need to fuss about those things; I was already enjoying myself. And a big part of that enjoyment was tied to Kagami.
I had two people I could call best friends; one of them was even my cousin, but the real reason I was enjoying myself was because of Kagami… well, I guess.
Out of all of them, Kagami treats me most devotedly.
It was Kagami who tore down the wall I felt, coming close to me, so yes.
Now, I no longer see Kagami as a stranger. I’ve fully adapted to Kagami touching me, so when Kagami’s at my house, I go over, sit next to them, or even lie down.
It’s still the same.
Kagami, who was playing around in the water with us all weekend, collapsed on Monday. It couldn’t be helped. They had to come back to work before fully recharging their energy.
They embraced me tightly saying they had heard about “charging,” but after washing up and having dinner, it was only natural that I had to lie down on the floor.
Kagami tearing down the wall in front of me reflected in this too.
When I was young, during my kindergarten days, Kagami would stand as straight and stiff as possible in front of me.
They rarely lay down unless it was bedtime, and I think they had an obsession with being a ‘perfect mom’ in front of me.
As time passed, the atmosphere around Kagami lightened up a lot, playing with me and going out.
Seeing Kagami lying sideways, wearing shorts and a loose T-shirt while watching TV makes me smile.
Not because it’s funny, but because it looks so comfortable. It feels like this is where I belong.
With Kagami having torn down the wall like that, why would I build one in front of them?
I lay down next to Kagami in the same position, watching TV.
Hehe.
Kagami laughed as if they found me adorable, pulling me close into an embrace.
Despite the slightly warm weather, I relaxed in Kagami’s arms without any resistance.
While we felt the fan’s breeze, we watched TV.
Some comedian came on and told their experiences, while the panel burst into loud laughter. It was a funny story, but I wondered if it was really that amusing—
Kagami chuckled lightly, and I couldn’t help but laugh along as I listened to their laughter.
It wasn’t forced; I just found myself laughing when I saw Kagami laughing.
That was… due to a kind of atmosphere.
Just being together made our hearts feel at ease, that kind of atmosphere.
“Hey, Koto Ne, shall we have ice cream?”
Kagami asked.
“Sure, I want some.”
“Right on!”
At my answer, Kagami jumped up from their spot and headed to the fridge to get the ice cream.
As I sat waiting, Kagami returned and handed me an ice cream. It wasn’t anything special, just a regular ice cream bar with a wooden stick.
We sat side by side, melting the ice cream a bit before eating it, laughing together a few more times while watching TV.
By the time Kagami had finished the ice cream, they took me back to the bathroom/shower to brush our teeth side by side again.
Then we went back to the room and fell asleep.
A few years—no, just a few days would pass, barely remembered from my mind, just ordinary days going by.
But I liked that moment.
Even if they were repeating days, some of these memories could last until the end, providing a strength to endure a lifetime. It had been like that in my previous life too.
So, I wished this kind of daily life with Kagami would continue forever.
*
Summer vacations aren’t always filled with special events.
Kagami also had summer vacation. Of course, it wasn’t that Kagami took time off; it was just that their workplace had a break, allowing them a day off.
If I were an adult, I’d probably spend the time playing a few games at home and staring at my smartphone.
In this day and age, well, there may not be smartphones, but there’s TV. Even if there’s no OTT, every neighborhood has video rental shops.
But it seemed Kagami wasn’t thinking of just passing time like that.
Maybe because they’re still young?
Or maybe it was because I was making an effort to listen to Kagami, which helped? I’d like to think Kagami wasn’t overly burdened on a usual basis, giving them that strength to want to hang out with me.
“Let’s go eat something delicious, okay?”
Kagami told me.
The swimming pool was, after all, planned to be visited with Harumi and Yuuki, and I’d already been to the beach once.
Kagami seemed to want that pure, simple time just the two of us, not a special event.
After letting Harumi’s family know in advance, we went out walking together after a long time.
The blazing sun. And the unique humidity of a coastal city.
Those two factors intertwined to create a weather that made it tough to wander outside, yet the streets were packed with people.
I wondered if walking out in such weather meant they really enjoyed each other’s company?
Well, for me, that was the case.
Even in this heat, we didn’t let go of each other’s hands. Kagami’s hand wasn’t cold at all, yet I liked that too.
I could clearly feel that we were holding hands.
We had hamburg steak for lunch and grilled meat for dinner.
It wasn’t exactly luxurious, but I liked that.
No, I didn’t specifically like the food; I liked the time spent with Kagami.
In moments like when I awkwardly moved around and spilled steak sauce all over my face, and Kagami wiped it off with a napkin.
When Kagami, sitting across from me, grilled meat and offered it to me.
And in the time between those meals, when we sought out cool places, entered the shopping mall, browsed in a bookstore, bought clothes, and looked at shoes together.
Those moments reminded me once again that “I have a family.”
“How is it, Koto Ne, tasty?”
Kagami asked while placing yet another piece of meat in front of me.
“Yeah, it’s delicious.”
I nodded and smiled brightly as I said it.
Kagami laughed at my face and lightly wiped my mouth with a tissue.
Yeah, right now.
Right now, even if it’s a bit difficult, it’s okay.
Both I and Kagami know I’m still young.
Honestly, I can’t quite remember what the meat tasted like.
Joy sometimes makes the memories of it hazy.
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