It’s really fascinating how people’s thoughts can completely change their feelings depending on their mindset.
If I had seen my current self while still in my previous life, I would have thought, “No way, how could that thought be so difficult?”
But really, what can you do about it?
If there’s someone who dedicates themselves to me that way, no matter the nature of our relationship, I end up being unable to ignore them.
And unless that dedication is excessively uncomfortable, the moment I accept it, that person becomes a precious existence to me.
…
But perhaps this isn’t such a pure story after all.
I’ve already lost my entire family all at once in my past life.
I didn’t do anything great for them; I just received and one day, they simply vanished. Because of that wound, I couldn’t spend the rest of my life very meaningfully.
If there is an afterlife, and my family saw me, I would have left a scar on each of them.
On the other hand, I have a family in this world, though I don’t know what my past was like.
Not one of my family members from my previous life resembled Kagami. No one treated me like Kagami does. But in our mother-daughter relationship, I often think of the abruptly severed ties with my family from my past life.
Am I thinking of Kagami as a substitute for my family in my previous life?
If I think that way, I feel guilt deep inside my heart. I feel like I’m doing something wrong to Kagami, who purely cares for me as her daughter.
“Hehe.”
Hearing Kagami’s laughter as she holds my hand, I looked up at her.
Kagami seemed to be really happy.
When I suggested we go on a trip together, she almost cried from joy! And then, as if she was grateful for those words, she tightly hugged me and jumped up, spinning around a few times.
…I’m not sending her on a trip; I just shared a story a friend told me with Kagami.
She’ll have to miss out on a relaxing weekend because of that promise.
The very next evening, Kagami brought me outside.
Harumi had already planned our trip. To be more precise, Ms. Fukuda accepted Harumi’s ideas and set up various plans.
True to Harumi’s nature of wanting to have fun throughout the week, she had packed our weekends with such plans all through the vacation.
So, to fit this week’s schedule, we needed to buy clothes first.
Kagami already bought a lot of clothes for me. I think she also has more than enough for herself. But we both didn’t have swimsuits to wear to the beach.
It’s only natural for Kagami to have a floating expression on her face. Given that every time I buy her cute clothes, she gets overwhelmingly happy, it’s no surprise she feels good about buying me a cute swimsuit.
“Kotone, how about this?”
“Wow, this one’s super cute!”
“Oh, how lovely.”
“Wait a minute, Kotone, what about this one!”
Right. I was really excited.
To be honest, changing clothes was a bit physically tiring. I didn’t enjoy it back when my parents took me shopping for clothes as a kid, mostly because of constantly putting on and taking off various outfits.
But with Kagami’s innocent smile in front of me, I didn’t want to turn down her request.
Even though she looks a bit younger, now she just looks like a high school student.
Of course, going to the beach with a friend as a high school student is completely different from going as a twenty-year-old mom with her daughter.
Somehow, I felt like Kagami had never been to the beach before, which made me really excited about her coming to have fun with me.
Unfortunately, I’m still growing.
If I was just a high schooler, I would have a few different swimsuits to change into each time I go out, but being in a growth stage, the chances are high I won’t fit into this year’s swimsuit next year.
So, I can’t buy many, and Kagami has to face the trial of choosing just one swimsuit from many.
With the most serious expression in the world, Kagami pondered while holding each swimsuit and eventually picked one.
A yellow one-piece swimsuit.
With a ton of frills that seemed to scream, “I’m for a little kid!”
Um…
To be honest, I’d rather say I want to wear my school swimsuit to the beach than wear that design.
“Hey, what do you think, Kotone?”
Looking at Kagami’s face, beaming with pure happiness, I couldn’t possibly refuse.
“It’s cute.”
But I couldn’t smile, and instead, I nodded with an extremely serious expression.
Perhaps Kagami thought my serious face was cute too, as she smiled brightly, as if the most adorable creature in the world was right in front of her, and hugged me tightly.
In the end, my swimsuit ended up being that one.
…Well.
Anyway, I’ll have to buy a new one next year, so let’s pick something a little more plain then.
Next is—
“Mom.”
For some reason, Kagami was about to leave, so I grabbed onto her pants.
“Yeah?”
“Your swimsuit too.”
That’s right.
Kagami was heading straight for the cashier with just my swimsuit.
The reason I insisted on going together with Kagami was that I wanted to enjoy my first beach trip in this world with her.
Not wearing a swimsuit at the beach means not going into the water, right?
Well, parents might think that way.
While the kids are playing, preparing food, and keeping an eye on the tent and belongings from afar is also enjoyable for a parent, isn’t it?
Sure, I could also have fun in the water without a swimsuit… but still, that doesn’t sit right with me.
If we’re going to have fun, I want it to be thoroughly enjoyable.
“Your swimsuit too.”
Last time, she definitely said she’d buy her own. I can’t forgive her for changing her mind now.
“Kotone…”
Kagami looked a bit emotional for some reason. Did my true feelings about wanting to play together get through?
Actually, it’s Kagami who’s spending money whenever we buy something.
…
No.
Still, we have to buy a swimsuit.
I hope Kagami gets to enjoy what she couldn’t when she was younger.
“Hmm, alright then.”
Kagami nodded.
“Then, should we pick a swimsuit for my daughter too?”
I nodded solemnly.
This was a tiny bit, but it also had the meaning of revenge.
Since I put her in an embarrassing swimsuit—Kagami must wear something embarrassing too.
Whatever swimsuit Kagami picks, it will definitely look amazing on her.
Her beauty is one thing, but her body is extraordinary too.
*
“Hmm-hmm-hmm~”
…But in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to choose something that revealing.
The swimsuit I picked was a black one-piece that wasn’t even a bikini. It would definitely not show anything, even if it got wet. Plus, I picked out a light cover-up to wear over it.
Understood…
No matter how much I want Kagami to have fun, I don’t want her attracting any strange attention from other guys.
Yeah, I understand that.
Kagami is still young… well, more like a young mother. Even though she can’t get married due to me, I think it’s good for her to have some light romance.
But for some reason, I really didn’t like imagining that scene.
After all, who enjoys seeing their mother having fun with another man?
“Kotone.”
“Yeah?”
Suddenly, Kagami called me, and I flinched in surprise.
But there was no shadow of darkness on Kagami’s face looking down at me.
She just smiled brightly, as if not wasting even a single moment of the time we spent together today.
“Did you have fun today?”
To Kagami’s question, I could only respond with a small smile, “…Yeah.”
“I’m sure you’ll have even more fun when we go out.”
Kagami’s words felt like she was hoping for as much fun as I was.
“Yeah. It will definitely be like that.”
As if making a promise, Kagami gently stroked my head.
Yeah.
I’m sure it will be super enjoyable at the beach, at the summer festival we’ll go to, and also at the indoor pool that Harumi mentioned.
It will definitely be fun enough to remain in our memories for a long time.
I’ll do my best to make that happen.
Kagami started humming a little tune as she held my hand and we walked together.
With that humming, I found my step becoming a bit more cheerful.
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