The only benefit of being with Harumi wasn’t just being safely in the room after school.
One advantage was that it was easy to mimic the behaviors of kids her age by referencing Harumi’s words and actions.
How do elementary school students express joy?
Even as an adult who had somewhat dried-up emotions, I rarely spent more than a second expressing admiration, even for something slightly amusing. My eyes probably didn’t sparkle either.
This has been true even after becoming an elementary school student, so even when Kagami gifted me various things, it wasn’t easy to react like other children would.
So, I referred to Harumi.
“Koto Ne, Koto Ne.”
One day, as Kagami placed her hand on my shoulder, she asked, “How about going to Disneyland this weekend?”
“Wow….”
Honestly, I couldn’t perfectly imitate Harumi. It was impossible to fill my voice with complete sincerity.
However, seeing Kagami hug me while smiling, I guess I succeeded just enough.
*
The day we went to the amusement park wasn’t exactly a typical day.
Usually, people would aim for Golden Week or Children’s Day in May, or perhaps align with a child’s birthday or school break.
We ended up going on a rather ambiguous weekend in mid-June. But I had a faint idea why that was the case.
Plans people made are never perfect, right?
Expenditures are something I couldn’t simply refuse. Even if I cut down on basic living expenses, something essential always breaks down or something in the house gets damaged.
And based on my expectations, Kagami had probably already surpassed the ‘unexpected expenses’ line the moment she sent me to the “school Harumi attends.”
Objectively speaking, we’re not that well-off. But the school Harumi attends is for well-off kids.
The school uniforms are expensive, and everything those kids use is pricey too. The brand kitchen appliance Kagami bought for me definitely wasn’t cheap.
Even if she had a plan targeted for “May 5th,” it wouldn’t be strange if that got delayed by about a month.
The weather was transitioning out of spring, slowly heading into early summer.
In fact, it could be said the weather had already entered summer in some sense. Since Kagami didn’t have a car, we traveled by train.
Though called “Tokyo Disneyland,” I’ve heard it actually isn’t in Tokyo. Like how some facilities with the name ‘Seoul’ are actually located in Gyeonggi.
But even with the name ‘Tokyo,’ the distance was reasonable. If it took roughly 30 minutes by train, that wasn’t a bad distance at all.
“Hehe.”
Fortunately, the two of us managed to find a seat.
Perhaps someone deliberately didn’t take a seat seeing the young child, Kagami, holding my hand.
Since I was only in first grade, my size was just enough for us to sit side by side instead of Kagami holding me in her lap.
Kagami already had an excited expression. She might even have been a bit more thrilled than I was.
At just six years old, I’d just barely entered the world of childhood, while Kagami was just on the edge of her twenties.
Showing a face of innocence despite having endured a lot of hardships was likely not just because of her age.
She still had many things she hadn’t experienced.
I didn’t really know about the ‘normal life’ of Japanese people. This was my first time living in Japan, and even at best, my life didn’t fit the category of ‘ordinary.’
I wondered how many people in Tokyo would have never visited a theme park by the time they turned twenty.
I couldn’t confidently say there was none… but usually, schools do organize trips. I wasn’t the type to intentionally visit amusement parks, but I had been to a few parks within or close to Seoul during elementary, middle, and high school.
But Kagami probably wouldn’t have those memories.
A memory of happily heading to the amusement park by tightly holding onto her mom and dad’s hands as a child might not exist for her.
Once again, I must stress, Kagami is just now in her twenties. According to Japanese standards during this era, she had just become an adult.
And in my opinion, a ‘newly adult’ person is still too fragile in many ways to be considered fully grown.
Both in self-perception and from the standpoint of others, she was at an age where everything felt new, like discovering the world for the first time.
“….”
I stared at Kagami’s face intently.
Has she become an adult too quickly?
Or hasn’t she become an adult yet at all?
It would be more accurate to see their situations as being intertwined. Such a tumultuous life… she must still be living it.
Noticing my gaze, Kagami turned to look at me.
She gently brushed my hair aside and asked softly, “How about you, Koto Ne? Are you excited?”
There was something in her voice that made me feel a little of her emotions, causing me to smile.
And it also reassured me a bit.
For various reasons, I couldn’t bring in any money. In fact, it was partly thanks to Mr. Yamashita’s borrowed money that we could afford to live like this, so it could be said we had almost no assets.
Of course, for now, due to that goodwill, we didn’t need to repay anything.
In such a situation, going to a place where we had to spend a significant amount just for entrance tickets meant we had a bit of leeway.
“I’m excited!”
I thought it would sound more childlike to say it that way instead of just saying I was looking forward to it, so I expressed it like that.
Kagami pulled me in for a hug.
I could see a few adults around us suppressing their laughter and turning their heads, but I decided not to mind.
*
There was no need to mention the time spent standing in line or the fact that there were a lot of people.
Even so, I possessed more patience than the usual kids. Waiting a few hours in line was nothing to me.
Even when Kagami asked several times if I was okay, I nodded in agreement.
It was enjoyable.
Maybe it was because it was a company that produced anime kids frequently watch, but the attraction height restrictions weren’t too strict. Even if I was a bit smaller than Harumi or Yuuki, Kagami didn’t raise me in a state of malnutrition.
Of course, there were so many people that we couldn’t experience every attraction in the large amusement park, but I was okay with that. With my most precious family beside me, and always sitting right next to me during the rides, I felt satisfied.
Even attractions designed for young kids were well-crafted, and some were scenes from cartoons I had seen as a child, which made it even better.
There were not just rides, but attractions where you move around on boats over water. Seeing something emerge from the water made me gasp a little. It wasn’t just a poorly made doll shaped like a character, but an attempt to recreate scenes from movies and animations to the fullest.
Well, that is what an attraction should be like.
However, back when I was a child overflowing with energy but lacking endurance, I might have whined around two or three in the afternoon to go home after playing all morning.
Though I’m not vastly different now, I still energetically followed Kagami around as her expression was filled with enjoyment.
We left the amusement park as the sun was setting.
“Koto Ne, are you okay?”
Even though I seemed lively at the amusement park, when we stepped outside, I did appear a bit exhausted, and Kagami asked with a worried expression.
“I’m okay…”
Well, to be honest, I wasn’t completely okay.
Isn’t there a strange sense of fatigue that creeps up on you after playing for a while?
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to hold onto my consciousness on the train. I might just fall asleep even if I stood.
But leaning on Kagami did feel a bit guilty. Even so, my weight is over twenty kilograms now.
“…”
Holding onto Kagami’s waist with both hands as we walked, I thought speaking would help suppress my drowsiness, so I looked up at Kagami.
“Mom.”
“Yes, Koto Ne.”
“Did you have fun today?”
At my question, Kagami seemed momentarily lost for words.
Could it be that my question scared her a bit?
“Yes, I had a lot of fun.”
Hearing Kagami reply a bit hesitantly, I smiled.
That’s good.
Me too.
“I had fun too.”
Upon seeing me say that, Kagami briefly pursed her lips.
Then she hugged me tightly.
People who were similar to us passed by. Everyone was either holding tired children in their arms or chuckling as they listened to the excited voices of children still buzzing with energy.
There were likely many who came like us, even if it wasn’t a special day.
So what?
The memories of today will surely remain as a special day for a long time.
Just like it would be for me.
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