I led Rubia toward the center of the village.
Fortunately, Rubia’s wounds gradually healed.
Even so, my mood showed no signs of improvement.
I still couldn’t understand Rubia.
“What were you thinking, doing that if you were going to die?”
The coldest voice my body could muster escaped my lips.
“I told you. I’m not going to die. I can’t die…”
No.
It’s not that Rubia can’t die.
The setting for Rubia I saw in the game was not immortality.
If she chose to give up, she could die at any moment.
She could have died the instant she gave up everything.
The fact that Rubia is still alive means, no matter how much she hates it, no matter how much she curses it,
She still likes this world.
There’s still something she clings to.
“Noah…?”
“Yeah.”
Rubia was irritated.
I hated her.
She was foolish.
Stupid.
Claiming to hate the world.
Saying she hated people.
Claiming she didn’t want to be saved.
Having been betrayed and betrayed again,
Why doesn’t she give up?
Of course, Rubia must not give up.
I hope she doesn’t give up.
I hope she remains unbroken.
But…
I still wish she would just give up.
I wish Rubia would value herself.
I hoped she wouldn’t die, forsaken by people like her father.
A hero shouldn’t die like that.
They should remain in people’s memories forever.
They can’t be forgotten.
“Why, why… are you angry with me?”
I split the goblin’s head in half.
Then I tore open its torso, while the other one was roughly dismembered.
“I’m not angry.”
I was tired of the loud cries of the orc.
I shoved the Great Sword into its mouth.
stab, stab, stab, stab
I kept stabbing until no sound came from it.
Brain matter splattered on the hand I held with Rubia.
“Ugh… Noah…!”
I wiped my clothes carelessly.
Then I moved forward again.
Towards the center of the village.
Every time I encountered a monster,
I cut off their heads, ripped their waists, yanked off their limbs.
I threw their weapons, stabbing and slicing.
My already messed-up mind searched for the screams of the villagers.
It searched obsessively.
I expanded my senses, painting an image in my head.
The dead people appeared.
The corpses.
Limb pieces.
Lumps of flesh without form.
Nausea surged up.
I erased it from my mind.
I searched for the living.
I envisioned people who could be saved.
I came to save them, but ironically, they mistook me for a monster upon seeing my blood-soaked figure.
I aimed to save as many people as possible.
Sending everyone I passed to a safe place.
Finally, I reached the center of the village and expanded my senses.
Some adventurers were still hunting the monsters.
Perhaps, they had fallen back after their formation broke while guarding the door.
Or maybe they stayed out of guilt for escaping.
I don’t know.
I held Rubia’s hand tightly.
“Did any adventurers stay until the end?”
“A few… but barely twenty. I told them to leave.”
“Why?”
“Because they were going to die. As you saw earlier…”
I gripped Rubia’s hand harder, enough for a groan to escape her lips.
“If I do this… it doesn’t hurt?”
“Ugh… Ah, it hurts…! Why are you doing this…?”
“Rubia, you hurt just like everyone else. So why did you do that?”
I squeezed harder.
Until Rubia’s hand felt like it might break.
Yet she didn’t get angry at all.
Her voice remained soft, as if it wasn’t my fault,
Warmly reaching out to me.
“Noah… ugh, you did the same. You got hurt so badly… trying to protect me.”
“What on earth makes you do that?”
I have a reason to protect you.
Until I find the answer I want.
Until I solve the question my father left me, I must stay alive.
But…
You aren’t supposed to be that way.
“As I mentioned earlier, Noah… you’re my guiding light.”
Once again.
Once again, she spoke words that made me recall the past.
Words that reminded me of my father and mother.
She said it without any care.
It hurt.
I relaxed my grip.
Rubia carefully pulled her hand away.
She didn’t take her eyes off me, rubbing her own hand.
It seems she doesn’t even resent me.
I swung my Great Sword at the orc charging at Rubia.
The orc’s intestines, blood, and flesh splattered over her.
Rubia trembled, gagging.
“Ugh… Noah… be a little gentler…”
“Oh, sorry.”
I did it on purpose.
Because I felt annoyed.
Just because… just because I was irritated.
I hated Rubia for making me like this.
I widened my senses.
I could see Luchi and Heinzel slowly approaching from the south.
In front of them was an adventurer of gold rank, slaying monsters.
The screams of the villagers echoed.
Shouting why they were so late.
To save their children.
Parents.
Families.
The cries rose up, blaming them for the deaths.
The resentful feelings without a place to go were directed at the remaining adventurers.
Luchi and Heinzel were letting it all roll off them like it was nothing.
But the gold-ranked adventurer couldn’t just brush it off.
Gradually, the despair of the villagers began to infect them.
“There was a gold-ranked adventurer here.”
“Ah… yes. That person kept their post until the end…”
“But they abandoned Rubia and ran away.”
“I told them to leave. They were not at fault.”
I swung the Great Sword, cutting down the charging monsters.
The monster’s innards soaked the ground.
“Rubia.”
I hoped Rubia wouldn’t harbor strange feelings.
That she wouldn’t be twisted.
I hoped she wouldn’t crumble upon seeing someone she’s chasing fall apart.
Even if that person died, I wished she could think of it as foolish.
Unlike my past self,
I hoped she wouldn’t have to live so painfully.
And.
In the end,
I hoped she would give me an answer.
“Yeah…?”
So I had to tell her.
That I’m not sacrificing myself for the people.
That I act because of my stubbornness.
“I have to save people.”
Rubia tilted her head.
“It’s not a hero’s psychology. It’s not a sense of justice. I don’t want to do this either. I’m scared. But…”
How could I explain this?
The legacy my deceased father and mother left behind.
The mental illness.
The obsession.
The shackles.
Despair.
Fear.
Sadness.
Relief.
Obligation.
Hope.
All mixed together.
“It’s my reason for existence.”
This isn’t a pure heart like justice.
It’s dirty, slimy.
A tenacious stubbornness and delusion.
“So, I really… don’t feel any responsibility or guilt. It’s not a pure desire to save these people. It’s just… ah, I don’t know.”
Luchi and Heinzel approached, waving their hands.
“You won’t die, so stop making a fuss.”
I left the guarding to Heinzel and Luchi.
“The person next to you, who said they’d protect you for life.”
I closed my eyes and expanded my senses.
“Watch closely what they can do. And.”
The whole village was painted in my mind.
I captured the monsters.
Thousands of them.
The damn adventurers hadn’t even killed half of them.
Thousands of monsters were drawn in my head.
Their bodies, muscles, blood vessels, and the blood flowing inside.
An orc swinging its arms using the muscles in its abdomen and shoulders.
Luchi’s movements slicing through them.
A goblin charging with the muscles in its legs.
Heinzel smashing a goblin’s head.
The excitement of the adventurers who were killing monsters and their rapid heartbeat.
The motions of living beings materialized.
I felt the premonition of every movement.
“Don’t die. Don’t even think about dying. Stay unbroken and live forever.”
I charged at the monsters.
Stepping on a goblin’s head.
I dove into the throng of monsters.
I read their muscle movements.
Dodging with minimal movement.
I struck at their weakest points.
At their vulnerabilities.
I swung the Great Sword.
I didn’t feel the sensation of hitting.
But I made contact.
Then I lunged at the next monster.
Parrying and stabbing down.
Still, I didn’t feel the sensation of hitting.
I couldn’t sense the heartbeat of the monsters either.
Wetting my dry lips with my tongue, I continued the motions.
The Great Sword soaked in blood danced violently.
An orc’s axe swung.
Clubs.
Hands.
Arms.
Legs.
Heads.
Entrails.
Everything soared through the air and mixed together.
The villagers’ screams were drowned out by the monster’s cries.
The village’s despair was covered by the monster’s deaths.
The Great Sword swung once more.
Legs moved.
My body was thrown down.
I moved before I thought.
I thought while I moved.
I scattered the Great Sword.
I drank in the rain of blood.
A goblin’s spear pierced my thigh.
The blade carved a crescent and crushed the goblin’s head.
The orc’s axe shattered my shoulder.
My outstretched left hand pulled out one of the orc’s eyes, digging into its brain.
In that state, I swung the orc.
The goblin was tossed aside.
I retreated while parrying every attack.
My back hit the building’s pillar.
There was nowhere to dodge.
I tore it down.
I recalled the sensation of breaking down the wall.
In a brief moment, dozens of spears, swords, fists, and nails came rushing at me.
Luchi’s unique ability sliced them apart.
I focused on my senses.
I concentrated on my feelings.
Finding weaknesses.
I found the line and sliced.
The building collapsed.
The ground sank.
Debris from the building fell towards me.
I envisioned my movements.
The most efficient movements for the current situation bloomed in my mind.
Following those movements, I swung the Great Sword.
The falling pile of stones was cleaved apart.
shatter, scatter, flutter
Monsters hit by the shards burst into pieces.
I inhaled deeply while my feet stumbled heavily.
The musty dust tore at my lungs.
I swung the Great Sword.
It reached the monsters’ vulnerabilities.
Tearing, slicing, exploding.
Everything about the monsters drenched the surroundings.
The Elite Orc’s hammer swung.
I couldn’t dodge.
I couldn’t deflect.
I couldn’t parry.
I conjured Luchi’s movements in my mind.
I replicated that with my body.
Moved like that according to my muscles.
I twisted the Great Sword to deflect the hammer.
whoosh
The mightily swung hammer lodged next to me.
I stepped on the hammer, climbing up its arm to stuff the Great Sword into its mouth.
I kicked the hilt.
The Elite Orc’s head came off with its spine.
I landed heavily while driving the Great Sword down.
Dozens of goblins burst into pieces.
My insides churned.
I felt like I would collapse at any moment, but I held on.
Blood continuously surged up.
My dry throat was soaked.
My leg bones cracked.
I had to envision more efficient movements.
I swung the Great Sword.
I killed the monsters.
Killing, killing.
My head felt like it was on fire.
My whole body screamed.
But thanks to that, I didn’t lose consciousness.
Gradually, my senses began to narrow.
The images became blurry.
One more.
One more.
One more drop of blood.
I moved my body.
An orc’s fist slammed into me.
I rolled on the ground, spitting blood.
My ribs shattered.
They pierced my lungs.
Breathing became difficult.
I pulled out a potion and downed it.
Regurgitating the potion along with blood, I shoved it back inside.
Gripping the Great Sword.
I bit back against the hundreds of monsters surging like waves.
Until the ground was visible.
Until the waves ceased.
Until everything was settled.
My body couldn’t rest.
I swung the Great Sword towards their weaknesses.
Weaknesses no longer became clear.
Everywhere was still filled with monsters.
In that case.
I just had to swing the Great Sword.
I narrowed my senses, focusing on my body.
Controlling every movement to be more efficient.
Not a bit of waste is a luxury.
I moved, tracing the most efficient path.
I swung the Great Sword.
Until nothing caught on anything around me.
Until blood didn’t splatter on my body.
I relentlessly scattered everything I had.
*
The weight of the Great Sword I swung felt nonexistent.
I could no longer feel it through my senses.
Nor through my body.
Everything broke and shattered.
All that was left was the hilt.
Yet, I swung it.
And then.
I didn’t reach for the monsters.
I reached Rubia.
I collapsed.
I wanted to hear Rubia’s voice.
But.
I heard nothing.
The screams of the people.
Despair, pain.
The cries of the monsters.
All I could hear was
Rubia’s weeping sound, endlessly.
Smiling faintly,
I wiped away Rubia’s tears.
And then.
I squeezed my throat, which couldn’t make a sound, to say to Luchi and Heinzel.
“I’m the best… so, buy me dinner.”
With that last word, my consciousness faded away.
