Kurosawa’s father… Um, let’s conveniently call him Mr. Fukuda?
It’s a bit unfair to judge a person solely based on their vibe or first impression, but this guy definitely feels like a friend of Mr. Yamashita. If I had to nitpick, Mr. Yamashita’s outfit was way more subdued than this uncle’s getup, but honestly, when you compare, a ‘white suit’ isn’t exactly what you’d call ‘subdued’ now, is it?
If I stretch this perspective a bit, I wonder if wearing such a flashy outfit is to make an attempt at redacting Kagami’s aura a little?
“Kochan!”
Mr. Fukuda grabbed Harumi by the waist and lowered her down. Harumi landed with arms raised above her head as if she had just descended from the heavens, striking a magnificent pose.
“Ta-da—!”
For just a moment, I almost got lost in thought thinking about Mr. Fukuda, barely managing to respond, and then I quickly clapped my hands to cheer her on. Harumi loved reactions like this the most.
“Daddy, this is Kochan!”
Introducing someone by their nickname usually leads the other person to be clueless, doesn’t it?
Well, Mr. Fukuda had just introduced himself properly as ‘Kotone’ a moment ago, so he must have caught onto my name at least.
I can vividly imagine Harumi saying something like, “Oh come on! It’s Kochan! Daddy, don’t you know Kotone?”
I bowed politely to Mr. Fukuda, greeting him respectfully.
“I’m Kagawa Kotone. Nice to meet you.”
That was the name for now.
I couldn’t just keep the surname Kurosawa as it is. What Kagami had asked of Mr. Yamashita was to specifically change this ‘surname’ part, which is why we’ve been using the surname ‘Kagawa’ since then.
For reference, Kagami not only changed the surname but completely modified her name too—she’s been called ‘Kagawa Kyouka’ now.
Well, I don’t think there’s a need to delve into that too much. After all, I refer to Kagami as ‘Mom’ and there’s really no reason to mention her name while speaking in my head.
When Kagami talks to other people, she probably gets called ‘Kagawa-san’ anyway.
“Oh.”
Mr. Fukuda, after appreciating my polite introduction while stroking his chin, then chuckled lightly, shaking his shoulders.
“Yeah, we’ll probably see each other often from now on. Nice to meet you.”
Then Mr. Fukuda turned his gaze and locked eyes with Kagami.
I couldn’t tell if he recognized Kagami or if he was just being observant of the gap between Kagami and himself, but either way, Mr. Fukuda smiled gently and slightly nodded at Kagami.
In that brief moment, he looked less like a Yakuza and more like a uniquely fashionable, decent uncle.
Kagami didn’t really introduce herself to Mr. Fukuda nor did she bow deeply, just a slight nod.
I couldn’t catch whatever adults were talking about; especially since I think Kagami avoided discussing things like whether we had little money or plenty, knowing it would concern me.
I hadn’t met Mr. Yamashita even once since that time.
“Kochan, Kochan.”
While I was looking up at Mr. Fukuda and Kagami, Harumi tugged at my sleeve, calling me.
“Let’s do well today!”
Can a little kid really say things like that?
…Well, considering my previous life, I was probably around the age where I could have had a child if I had married, but regrettably, I never got to that point before I died.
Sometimes, you come across kids so grown-up in thought that you marvel at how they figure those things out, but I’m not a kindergarten teacher, so that’s not something I’ve ever seen.
“…Yeah.”
In the end, I nodded in response.
Well, perhaps she might have learned that from her dad. Kids tend to mimic their parents, after all.
*
In kindergarten, there weren’t just us but other kids in different classes too.
It wasn’t categorized by ‘grades’ like in elementary school, but we were grouped by age, so while it wasn’t as massive as a regular school, there were still quite a few kids. I didn’t count each one, so I wasn’t really sure about the exact number.
So, it was rare for just one kid to come out and show off alone; typically, there would be groups of several kids singing and dancing together.
There were skits, but it seemed that getting kids to memorize lines was a bit of a stretch, so aside from those headed to elementary school next year, we weren’t doing any ‘plays’. Well, it’s a bit off-putting to force them anyway.
Being three years old, we were up towards the front this time around.
Not in a whole class chorus, but starting with a presentation made up of a few kids gathered together.
While it was called a presentation, it included simple movements along with singing nursery rhymes.
Seemingly sensing it was her turn, Harumi grabbed my arm and pulled me up to the stage.
“Hello!”
As Harumi enthusiastically greeted, laughter erupted from the adults watching us. Even though I had seen Mr. Fukuda a moment ago, there was no reason to discriminate against any kids here.
Besides Harumi and I, there were two other kids with us too.
While Harumi was getting the adults’ attention with introductions, I quickly turned my head around to look for Kagami.
Kagami was sitting a bit tucked away from the adults. She seemed somewhat intimidated, sitting among grown-ups much older than her. Well, she’s still just a kid herself.
I guess she must have ended up there naturally as she was warded off by the adults’ presence rather than actually working.
Yet, there was no sign on Kagami’s face suggesting she felt that way.
Instead, she just looked at me with a blank expression, as if overwhelmed by my presence here.
“…”
I don’t clearly recall my preschool days from my previous life. But from a faint memory, I do remember waving at my parents who were sitting far away.
Both of them smiled widely and waved at me.
I continued to stare intently at Kagami, then slowly raised my hand, imitating what other kids on stage were doing.
Only then did Kagami blink her eyes and beam a bright smile towards me.
Then she raised one hand and waved excitedly.
I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as she began rummaging through her bag and pulled out a big camera.
It didn’t seem brand new, and it probably had been bought as cheaply as possible from some secondhand store. To be exact, it might even be an unnecessary luxury for us.
However, Kagami must have felt she couldn’t step back.
To her, I was everything that gave meaning to her existence.
The photos left by that camera would serve as the proof of our lives together. Though I can’t see clearly yet what lies ahead or how it ends—no matter how long or short that time is, I believe it will remain a beautiful memory until the very last moment.
As I watched Kagami holding the large, old camera with a giant, outdated flash, I made a peace sign with my hand.
I hoped that my smile was the brightest I’d ever shown Kagami until now.
*
At first—I thought it was a curse.
I mean, in some sense, it might genuinely be something that could be called a ‘curse’.
Thinking of the beings that Kagami gave birth to before Kotone, it made sense.
When she gave birth to Kotone, Kagami thought the same thing.
Carrying something inside for a pregnancy of ten months in that small body was horrendous pain.
Pushing a newborn out was a terrifying memory too.
Kagami couldn’t even hold the child she had just given birth to.
Kozuzu seemed to cradle Kotone as if she was her own child, staring at her for a while with a wide smile, before handing her over to Kagami.
With the words, “This is the vessel you bore.”
Could she finally be free?
Would she no longer need to uphold any obligations?
When Kagami first held Kotone, those were the only thoughts in her head.
It was only for a brief moment, but.
She even imagined what expression Kozuzu would have if she just dropped the baby on the floor. Naturally, that would have left Kagami in a state where she would have wished she was dead—
Then she felt it.
The warmth of the child.
Wrapped tightly in a blanket, yet that warmth slowly seeped through, a newborn’s characteristic warmth.
The baby, wrinkled as if soaked in water, quietly lay there without crying, unable to open its eyes properly.
But, she was breathing. The baby’s chest was gently rising and falling.
Those tiny fingers twitched. It was almost miraculous how, despite being so small, ten fingers were all intact as if that was a normal hand.
“…”
This one was completely different from the beings born before.
But before Kagami could feel something for the child, it was then snatched away from her and handed over to Kozuzu.
“Give her back—”
The word ‘give back’ was obstructed by Kozuzu’s gaze, looking at herself intently.
“Please don’t mistake this existence as your ‘child’.”
Kozuzu said.
“This being is destined to become the one we serve.”
At those words, Kagami had no choice but to retract her outstretched hand.
*
Since then, the treatment towards Kagami became more lavish.
Was it because she was the mother of the existence destined to become a vessel of God?
Kozuzu treated that child as if it were her own while still leaving the child by Kagami’s side.
Did this mean she wouldn’t take on the responsibilities of a parent, or was it her way of claiming that Kagami held a symbolic role?
It could be both.
Dressed in a black kimono and sitting in a dignified pose, Kagami had Kotone bundled in a golden wrap beside her.
One day, by chance, Kagami was left alone with that child in a room.
Maybe it was for the preparations for a ritual. The truth is, Kagami never personally handled such things, so she wasn’t clear on how they operated.
“Puu.”
A faint sound came from next to Kagami, who was sitting blankly, passing the time.
Turning her head, she saw Kotone raising both hands, making that sound.
“Uhh.”
It seemed the baby was attempting to speak. But still so young that it couldn’t manage it.
Kagami felt a sense of curiosity.
She had felt something when giving birth, but had never actually raised a child herself, so ultimately the maternal bond didn’t register strongly at all.
“Well, I suppose I should at least express my gratitude.”
Feeling a bit awkward around that being, Kagami muttered and leaned slightly towards her.
“Hmmm?”
“Thanks to you, I was able to free myself from that kind of situation—”
Kagami seemed to playfully tease the child, raising her finger and poking closer.
Even now she couldn’t explain why she acted like that.
The child grabbed Kagami’s finger.
Such surprisingly small and warm hands.
“Mya—mya—”
Too young to say real words.
So, that nonsense probably held no meaning.
However, Kagami was surprised to find her shocked reflection in the child’s wide, round black eyes.
Ironically, despite being just a newborn, she thought it oddly resembled her.
Soft pressure returned to her finger.
As if drawing her in, that bond pulled on Kagami’s hand.
“Mya—mya—”
Perhaps that was the moment Kagami felt the impulse to run away.
*
Those hands were still tiny. There was still a long way to grow.
The small hand was making a V with two fingers.
With a face that seldom smiled, she was beaming at Kagami.
Her hand trembled, and Kagami thought several of the photos might be blurry.
“…”
Kagami had been pondering until now.
If she hadn’t run away, maybe she could have raised her better. The Kurosawa family wasn’t exactly lacking in money, after all.
Perhaps it would have been better to have left her with Kozuzu instead of struggling alone like this—
That could have been the case.
Maybe Kagami truly made the wrong choice. Perhaps it was an overly selfish choice.
…They called her a vessel and said one day she would become a god. Kagami knew that wasn’t the norm for any deity.
But still, until then, she could have lived significantly better than she was now—
But—
…
Regardless, just by witnessing this moment and remembering it, Kagami knew she would likely never regret that choice for the rest of her life.
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