[【Membership Exclusive】 Casual Chit-Chat…? #Star’sFlow#IzumiKainoh]
“Ev, everyone, it’s Konzumi… the mood maker, Izumi!”
– Hi Izumi!
– That voice sounds weak
“Ah, I’m sorry… it’s been a long time since my m, membership stream…”
– Are you tired or something?
“…Yeah. I might be a little tired lately.”
Honestly, I want to spill everything to the Izutomo listening now.
I’m graduating in March.
Not for any special reason, but simply because I selfishly want to find my dream, leaving behind those of you who truly love me.
But that’s impossible.
Because the answer I received from Star’s Flow was that they couldn’t allow me to do that.
…Yeah. Thinking about it, that’s to be expected.
I had already told them I’d be graduating in March, and asking to move that date up or wanting to spill everything beforehand…
If I were in the opposite position, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to nod along.
Of course, since I’m graduating in March anyway, there is the option to just go out with a bang.
But how could I do that?
I can’t do that to the people who respect me and support me, despite the huge inconvenience I’ve caused.
So now, I have to smile.
Even though I know I’m smothered by guilt, I have to smile, knowing I’m deceiving them.
When the Izutomo tease me, I should get mad but still accept it.
I know that it’s their way of expressing their fondness for me, so I feel shy but am secretly happy about it.
I have to show them the mood maker of Star’s Flow.
Because I promised not to regret my choice.
Because I’ve decided to do so now.
“Still, talking to you all like this… makes me feel a bit better.”
– Then is it okay if we tease you?
“No! Th-that’s too much! I’ve told you so many times, when talking to a girl, c-communication is key, right? I just said I’m tired! In this situation, I want, I want comfort. Honestly, you should consider it an honor just to talk to a cute girl like me…”
– Huh?
– But Mei-chan often claims she’s a boy.
– This is a Yeo-sang moment.
– Let’s fix that habit of adding unnecessary comments…
“You’re too much!”
Just as I said I felt a bit better, you all rush in like this.
Are you really pushing it too far?
Well, I did say it wanting this kind of reaction, but it still hurts a lot.
I guess I was hoping you’d be a little kinder…
– If you think about it, considering her age, Mei-chan isn’t really a girl! Haha.
– At this point, it’s on the level of needing to apologize to a girl.
– Wait? Is Mei-chan older than our grandma…?
“Pfft…! Seriously, what are you saying to a current JK like me?!”
…But thanks to the usual selves of the Izutomo, I was able to genuinely laugh while broadcasting for the first time in a while.
“Haah, seriously….”
Being on the broadcast as Kainoh Izumi, just laughing and chatting with the Izutomo without a care, is truly enjoyable.
So then, isn’t this enough?
If I didn’t think so, it’d definitely be a lie.
But for some reason, I didn’t reach out for that option.
Even though there’s a way to end things with a smile and not be troubled, I hesitated to choose it.
Had I already messed it up?
That’s definitely not the reason.
My manager and M-chan kept saying that if there was another way, we should definitely try that, and other members told me they want to continue sticking together if possible.
I hadn’t even announced my graduation yet, and there were surely plenty of chances to rescind that choice.
But I definitely… wouldn’t grab that opportunity.
Because I want to find my dream.
I want to shine just like the other members.
I want to grab hold of that unexplainable something and stand proudly next to everyone.
And I want to tell the Izutomo who truly love me that I’m your idol.
“Uh, this may be a bit sudden, but…”
– Mei-chan always says sudden things.
– At this point, I’m used to it.
– I’m ready for anything you say!
“When someone speaks seriously, you need to listen properly! Th-this is a precious opportunity to talk with a current JK!”
As I shout in anger, the chatroom flooded.
Yeah.
It might be better to speak in this atmosphere instead.
Thinking about it, being too serious would probably make it more embarrassing anyway.
“I really think talking like this with you all is truly enjoyable. Yes. So, I want to apologize for making everyone worry lately…”
– No need to apologize.
– I think Mei-chan has been working hard and it’s okay to take a little break.
– I also really enjoy chatting like this with Izumi.
“Ugh….”
I definitely shouldn’t be saying these kinds of things to these guys.
They usually annoy me for no reason, but it’s these kinds of shameless people that casually say embarrassing things when it counts.
But because of those Izutomo… I could firmly resolve myself.
★
A month after I expressed my desire to graduate to the manager.
I couldn’t even focus on the broadcast, and every day was filled with guilt pressing down on me.
But then, suddenly, I had that thought.
Is it okay like this?
No matter how hard it is, isn’t this going too far?
Literally, it was a sudden thought.
Just a fleeting moment that crossed my mind.
And my conclusion was ‘this is not okay.’
So then, just what part isn’t okay?
This time, this kind of contemplation began.
Of course, I could rely on the other members like usual, positioning myself as the youngest, or consult M-chan or the manager and find my own answer.
But that’s something I absolutely must not do.
This is something I must think about and decide on my own, my instincts screamed.
Not okay.
What’s not okay?
It’s not okay at all to be smothered by guilt and unable to focus on the broadcast.
…Why?
Because I chose to graduate.
What is graduation?
It’s a proclamation of ceasing my activities as a VTuber.
And… it’s an action that leaves scars on the fans who loved me, telling them that I’m leaving.
I recognized that when I decided to graduate.
If there were unavoidable reasons, that would be a different story.
But that’s not the case, I chose to leave the Izutomo.
Yet, despite having made that choice, I wouldn’t change it, and still agreed to continue pressing down with guilt, day after day, unable to focus on the broadcast?
That’s not okay.
It shouldn’t be like that.
“If Izumi smiles without regret, then surely we… no. I’m definitely going to be able to support Izumi until the very end.”
Koga said she’d support me.
She said she wouldn’t regret my choice.
I promised Koga I would move forward with a smile.
So now, it’s time to stand up.
“I really think talking like this with you all is truly enjoyable. Yes. So, I want to apologize for making everyone worry lately…”
– No need to apologize.
– I think Mei-chan has been working hard and it’s okay to take a little break.
– I also really enjoy chatting like this with Izumi.
“Ugh….”
Yeah.
For the Izutomo who truly love me, I should smile now.
Of course, there’s still guilt remaining.
I know the feeling of sorry will never fully disappear.
After all, graduating means leaving a scar on the Izutomo.
No matter how much I want to confidently tell them that I’m your idol.
“If Izumi wants it… Even if Seona asks for it, it’s really hard to rewrite the name ‘Kainoh Izumi’ as a VTuber. In the VTuber industry, graduation means that’s the end.”
As the manager said, graduating in the VTuber industry signifies an end, making it very hard for this wish to come true.
So… since I decided to leave scars on the Izutomo.
“Okay… now, perfect recovery…! I’m truly back to normal!”
Let’s make enough lasting memories to completely cover that scar.
So that when you remember, you can think that Kainoh Izumi, although not as sparkling as the other members, was still a tremendously beautiful and cute VTuber.
So that the Izutomo will never regret cheering for me as Kainoh Izumi.
– So is it really okay to tease you now?
– You’ve held back a lot until now.
– So… I can crush Mei-chan without any problems?
– I’ll finish it in one hit.
“You guys really can’t say anything else, can you?! And just listening to you, you all sound like total trash! Crushing a current JK?! You don’t have any excuse if you land in trouble for this level, right?!”
Let’s fully enjoy the remaining time with the Izutomo.
Yes. I am a 2nd-year student of Star’s Flow.
The lively personality’s mood maker, Kainoh Izumi!
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