It’s a bit tricky to say “positive,” but after that, Yuka’s attitude toward Kurosawa has softened a little.
Debating which form of bullying is better is a bit strange. No matter where you are, following someone around and bullying them is just wrong.
Doing things like mocking someone while twisting your words in front of them and stealing their belongings shouldn’t be done either. However, direct violence tends to stand out much more, so both Yuka and Nanami began speaking to Kurosawa more gently afterward. Yuka still showed signs of discomfort around Kurosawa, though.
Looking back, there must be a reason why they chose direct violence over that gloomy kind of bullying directed at Kurosawa.
Maybe it was because Kurosawa’s reactions were just no fun?
Moreover, if they were really serious about bullying and their target completely ignores them, they might feel rather looked down upon. Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s justified.
Since that incident, Kurosawa has continued to seek out Sota. During breaks, she seemed to quietly sit at her desk, but during lunch and after school, whenever there was a chance for others to freely bully Kurosawa, she would steadily seek out Sota.
In that process, kids from the class started talking to Kurosawa. Boys and girls alike showed interest in that girl who Sota and Yuka always carried around.
That interest wasn’t exactly intense, since Kurosawa wasn’t the type to respond differently regardless of who spoke to her.
However, it didn’t mean that the kids in class saw Kurosawa negatively either.
In fact, even if they didn’t know what she thought about it, Sota, who played with Kurosawa, had a good reputation in class. Plus, perhaps due to rumors that spread about the last incident, the general impression of Kurosawa was more of a “poor kid” rather than a “weird one.”
Some girls seemed to genuinely find Kurosawa adorable, as she didn’t run away or shy away when they patted her head.
Even if Kurosawa’s expression rarely changed, Sota decided that, for now, this was a good thing.
And—
“……”
Sota, Yuka, and Nanami, who were walking with Kurosawa, swiftly turned around.
A girl walking from a distance turned around quickly as soon as she made eye contact with the three.
With disheveled hair—having stopped dyeing it a long time ago, only a bit of yellow remained at the tips, making it easy for Sota to recognize her immediately.
“Hey….”
Nanami was the first to speak up.
As soon as Nanami spoke, the girl quickly walked away from their group.
“Hey, hold on!”
As Nanami quickly jumped into action, Fukuda started to chase after her but eventually stopped in her tracks.
Noticing her arms hanging limp, it seemed she was unsure if this was a good idea.
“Well, if it bothers you, how about just hanging out with us?”
Nanami cautiously spoke up.
“……”
Fukuda, who had been silent for a while, slowly turned around to look at Nanami.
“Does it bother you?”
When Nanami smiled as she spoke, Fukuda sighed deeply and stuck to Sota’s group without saying a word.
“Hello.”
“……Hello.”
When Sota greeted her, it seemed Fukuda couldn’t ignore the greeting and nodded in response.
The atmosphere was a bit awkward, but since it often felt a little awkward around Kurosawa, it wasn’t much different. Sota even thought that as Kurosawa slowly blended in with them, maybe Fukuda would too.
When Nanami’s eyes met Sota’s, she raised her thumb and smiled.
“Are we having ice cream today too?”
Yuka asked.
“Ice cream?”
Fukuda looked at Yuka and asked back.
“Kurosawa likes chocolate ice cream.”
“Oh, you figured that out? Impressive initiative.”
Fukuda said while looking at Sota. It didn’t really seem like there were deep emotions behind it, but it didn’t feel sarcastic either, which relieved Sota a bit.
Kurosawa quietly watched Fukuda who had joined their group. Fukuda, feeling a bit of pressure from her gaze, turned her head a little to the side.
Afterward, there wasn’t much conversation, not even until they entered the usual family restaurant.
After they sat down, Nanami started talking, and Yuka responded, while Fukuda and Kurosawa mainly ate.
Could the two really be called friends?
At the very least, Sota felt they had been close to that.
…Sota couldn’t really say anything about what they actually went through since he didn’t witness it directly—
Still, for now, this didn’t seem too bad.
After all, there’s always a first time for everything.
As Sota watched Kurosawa slowly lick a spoonful of sweet ice cream, he thought that.
*
Kurosawa Koto Ne’s path to and from school is long.
How she ended up commuting to school in Tokyo while living in Saitama, Kurosawa Koto Ne herself didn’t really know.
No, she didn’t even want to know in the first place.
She felt at least the minimum emotion of wanting to “do something,” but Kurosawa Koto Ne didn’t know exactly what that “something” was.
No one ever taught her.
Without knowing anything, she received the order to just go to school. While not understanding why she had to follow that order, she simply went back and forth to school.
The person sending Kurosawa Koto Ne to school seemed to take little interest in her situation.
Did she make friends? Is anyone bullying her?
Did she do well on her tests? Is she studying well? Which club did she join?
In reality, there seemed to be no reason to know any of that. Kurosawa Koto Ne had no reason to know all of that either.
An empty vessel without anything in it.
No, perhaps an instrument to play something. She felt she had heard it phrased that way before.
Recently, she began to understand “desire.”
Until then, she hadn’t cared much about what the other kids did to her at school. Having experienced it since the moment she was born, since the moments she went to school, it was something as natural as breathing.
But under certain conditions, there was a way to avoid experiencing that.
Kurosawa Koto Ne utilized that.
And she became able to avoid feeling “pain.”
“……”
She still had no way of understanding that it felt good.
As she slowly walked home, the sun was already slanting down.
As she went up to the second floor of the dark, damp apartment, a musty odor greeted her.
The door of the house she lived in was always open at this hour. It was because there were people inside.
“Oh, Koto Ne.”
As Kurosawa Koto Ne entered through the door, there was someone waiting to greet her.
The woman, who had long hair like Kurosawa Koto Ne, had a more voluptuous body than her.
She looked much more “mature,” and in some respects, shared a likeness with Kurosawa Koto Ne.
No, maybe Kurosawa Koto Ne was the one resembling this woman.
Around her neck was a thick metal necklace.
And the necklace was attached to a thick chain.
That chain was connected to the floor of the house.
“You’re coming in a bit late these days. Did you make any friends?”
That question probably held no significant meaning.
It was a question asked daily whenever Kurosawa Koto Ne returned home.
“Did you make any friends?”
“What did you have for lunch today?”
“Did you join any clubs?”
As if craving something, she asked Kurosawa Koto Ne these questions.
There was a time when she almost went crazy trying to pounce on her sister when she came home, but the sister only tilted her head and said—
“Is it impossible to get more of these? I wish there were a few more kids like this. I wonder why?”
Muttering something just out of reach, she stared at Kurosawa Koto Ne for a moment before slipping back out again.
The room was messy.
People came by several times to help clean up, but with Kurosawa Koto Ne lacking the will to tidy up and her mother unable to leave the room, they ended up leaving it messy again.
“……Koto Ne.”
Just like always, as Kurosawa Koto Ne was about to carelessly drop her bag in the corner and lie on the floor, she suddenly paused at the voice.
“Koto Ne?”
Having said that without any expectations, the woman seemed a bit surprised by Kurosawa Koto Ne’s actions.
Kurosawa Koto Ne slowly stood up.
Then she turned back and looked at the woman she had spent quite some time in this room with.
“……”
For a moment, Kurosawa Koto Ne thought about what to say. It wasn’t an easy thing. She had hardly ever attempted a conversation with anyone.
In the first place, this whole situation was occurring due to Kurosawa Koto Ne’s impulse.
Just as she had avoided pain using ‘Sota’ or ‘Sasaki’ that day.
For whatever reason, this girl and the kids around her seemed to want to protect Kurosawa Koto Ne’s existence.
Could that be what we call “friends”?
They hadn’t exactly agreed on that yet. It was a relationship that was built in that way, at least from what she gathered at school.
But still, the things Kurosawa Koto Ne did with those kids often resembled the conversations that quietly floated into her ears as she sat still.
“……Yeah.”
She answered like that.
“……Ah.”
A sound slipped from the woman’s lips.
“Ahh….”
And tears welled up in her eyes.
She bowed her body.
Kneeling and pressing her forehead to the floor, clenching her fists, she began to cry.
Kurosawa Koto Ne didn’t know how to respond in front of someone like that. She had only ever seen one child crying in class.
That child, everyone around was comforting, patting their back.
Should she do the same now?
As Kurosawa Koto Ne contemplated for a long time, she gazed down at the woman who was holding onto her own feet and crying.
Eventually, in the midst of her hesitations, the crying ceased, and she didn’t have to comfort her.
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