Various things.
After organizing the feelings between the office, Charlotte, and Hermila, Rubia and I were kicked into what was said to be the best room in the Imperial Palace with the idea that our presence would only add to the confusion.
During this process, there was the pale-faced Heinzel barging in after hearing a tremendous bang! in the office, and an enormous number of royal knights lined up to storm in. There were moments of calming the bewildered citizens of the Empire and uprooting the cult that claimed a new deity had descended.
Just a few… minor issues.
It seemed like the furrow in Charlotte’s brow hadn’t vanished, though.
Anyway, the major issues have been sorted out.
“Ugh… sob…”
Forget about Rubia’s feelings…
“I-it’s fine… right now, I’m right here with you…”
I gently patted Rubia’s back, who was constantly shedding tears.
And I thought.
About the time spent outside the world.
About… if I think of 30 seconds as 30 minutes… uh…
1 minute is 1 hour… 24 minutes is a day… if that’s for 394 days… uh, ugh…
Let’s not do that.
Anyway, what’s important is that I’ve returned to this place.
I didn’t feel that it was actually such a long time.
“I-I’m so sorry… just because of something like that… I said I was upset, sob… Noah… you were the one who had to suffer alone…”
No… I wasn’t really that troubled…
Of course, I thought it was a bit lonely at first, but before I had time to feel that loneliness, the outsiders barged in, and I somehow… managed to cope.
I missed Rubia terribly, though.
“I-I’m really okay… I’m actually… sorry for leaving Rubia alone…”
At those words, Rubia’s crying intensified.
I had no choice but to lean down under Rubia’s bowed head and kiss her cheek.
A slightly salty taste lingered on my lips.
“Don’t cry… okay…? It’s really all over now… I came back, and I can be with Rubia… sniff!”
After that, I kissed Rubia’s cheeks and lips several times to soothe her cries.
It went on for a while.
As the setting sun dyed the room in orange, Rubia’s crying finally stopped.
“Ugh… then, does that mean we have to part because of what we must do…? Each time the outsiders come… sniff… we have to go there…?”
“Exactly… since time flows differently like today, we just need to be gone for a bit. It’s truly a relief, isn’t it…?”
“Time… flows differently… ugh…”
Rubia’s tears, which I thought had completely stopped, welled up again.
“Waaah… um, then… can we go together? Okay…? If we go together… we won’t have to part…!”
“Together…?”
“Yes…!”
Rubia looked up at me with her tear-filled eyes wide open, and she was beautiful. So cute. Truly amazing.
I nodded while stroking her cheeks, which had been healed and were now free of the blood that had flowed earlier.
“But I… wouldn’t be any help… If Noah gets hurt while trying to protect me… with no divine power, I can’t help Noah…”
“Uh, um…”
Huh…? Divine power?
Divine power… divine power.
I definitely meant to talk to Rubia about divine power… Oh, right.
“Ah, right…! Rubia!”
“Yes, yes?”
Huh?
Wait a second.
That wasn’t what I meant to say, I was trying to hide it.
Um… oh…
This is bad.
“Ah, no…”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“…I-I forgot.”
Rubia narrowed her eyes.
Her blue eyes sparkled, as if trying to peer into my innermost thoughts.
“Noah.”
“Y-yes…?”
“Please tell me.”
“…I-I forgot…?”
“Don’t lie.”
Eventually, Rubia, who had drawn closer until our chests nearly touched, grabbed both of my arms.
“If you’re hiding something like this, it must be something serious or important.”
“It’s, it’s nothing like that…”
“Are you… are you going to bear it alone again, like before… trying to handle everything by yourself… disappear…?”
Rubia wasn’t crying.
She wasn’t crying, but a feeling larger than tears, a feeling more longing and painful was palpable.
“Please… I’m asking you. Noah… please don’t leave me alone this time. I want to be with you too. Even if it means dying, I want to die in Noah’s embrace.”
So I did.
I spoke out what I had intended to say without hiding it anymore.
“…Divine power…”
“…Huh?”
“I can use divine power again…”
“Divine… power?”
“…Yeah.”
I avoided Rubia’s questioning gaze and lowered my head. After a moment, I heard her take a surprised breath.
I carefully lifted my head.
There she was, staring at me with her mouth agape, her eyes wide.
“…No way?”
I nodded.
“Rubia… has to become my shaman… no, my avatar.”
“Avatar…? Then why did you hide that?”
“…Because there’s a disadvantage…”
For Rubia to regain the ability to wield divine power, she must become my avatar.
Not a shaman.
Using my power as is.
Thus.
In the end, she would become an existence living in the same time as me.
That’s right.
If Rubia were to become my avatar…
“Rubia must live… eternally.”
Just like me.
She must live for an eternity, not just a long time.
At first glance, it might seem like an incredible advantage. When I first learned this, I felt good. It was hard not to feel good.
Some emperor supposedly consumed all sorts of things to live eternally.
And there are characters in other novels or games who sell their souls for eternity.
But as I thought about it more and more, I realized.
Eternity isn’t as romantic or great as it seems.
If someone were born as a being destined to live eternally from the start, they might not feel discomfort.
They would think it was natural.
But Rubia and I were human.
We lived lives completely unrelated to eternity.
We had spent time with a structure of thought entirely different from those beings.
For us, to feel happiness among the people, to live while experiencing joy… living eternally means in the end, being left alone.
Tired, worn out.
Without meeting anyone, casting aside all emotions.
Alone, with no one around.
Spending that infinite eternity.
I couldn’t impose such a life, that time, or that pain on Rubia.
If we were together, perhaps we could spend that time happily together for eternity.
But, but…
If one day or even just once, Rubia suffers due to that eternity, if I find out about it, I would… be crushed under that guilt and suffer greatly.
That’s scary.
Making Rubia, the one I love, suffer.
Making Rubia’s life something hard to live…
If it leads Rubia to wish for death.
I wouldn’t be able to endure that.
So.
The Rubia I love must have.
A different.
Ordinary time—
“Why is that?”
“…Huh?”
“Why do you consider that a disadvantage?”
I looked at Rubia, who tilted her head as if she really didn’t understand.
“…What do you mean, why is it a disadvantage… it’s because—”
A deep sigh.
Rubia, seeming a bit angry, looked straight at me.
“Noah. I thought of leaving you alone in this world and dying. I believed that would happen. Then, when Noah didn’t come back to me… I even thought about dying. If I could just hold onto your form, your voice, your scent for a moment, if I could feel you even for just a little longer, that would be enough for me.”
Her blue eyes glittered with light.
A light more brilliant than anything else. A light that could brightly illuminate the darkness within my heart.
“And then, you came back to me. You smiled at me, you held me, and called my name… And so, I was… happy. I was so happy that I got greedy. I thought bad things. I wanted nothing more than to live alongside you for a lifetime, no, for eternity. I wished this time would just stop.”
Her hands cupped my face.
Her beautifully curved eyes reflected me back, her gaze shining brightly.
“Yet, really… this is a chance to fulfill my dream, my wish, my selfish desires… Do you think I’ll suffer while living eternally? Noah’s by my side; how could I suffer? Absolutely, it won’t happen. Yes. Of course… those around us will depart. But… that’s fine. It’s a little selfish to admit, but I only need Noah.”
So.
“Don’t worry. As long as we are together, Noah and I…”
We.
“You and I.”
“Will be happy for eternity.”
“…R-really…?”
“Yes.”
Our foreheads touched.
Our noses didn’t touch.
Instead, our lips did. A bit thick, sticky.
Those lips, Rubia’s lips that took away my warmth, opened.
“Just trust me.”
She echoed my words back to me, and Rubia was smiling brightly. That smile, her voice, her emotions, beat heavily against my heart, turning my breath rough and hot.
So, I.
I.
“Yes…”
I nodded.
And I smiled.
Just like her, brightly and happily.
*
“So, um… if I become your avatar by receiving Noah’s power, it won’t cause any harm to you or anything like that, right?”
…Wearing the clothes that had somehow come off, I stood up while rubbing my slightly sore thighs and chest.
My waist ached.
My lips burned.
“Harm…? No. There’s none. Rather… um… it’s actually better.”
“Better as in?”
“Um… I don’t really know how to explain it, but… if Rubia receives this power, we’ll be able to feel each other no matter where we are.”
Rubia’s eyes widened.
“That sounds amazing…”
“Right…? Hehe.”
As Rubia nodded and put some jelly into my mouth, her hand suddenly froze in place.
“By the way, how did you find out about all this?”
“…Huh?”
“How did you find out that Noah would live eternally or that you could create an avatar? It can’t just be an instinct or some knowledge that popped into your head. And just now, you said it would become known to you, right?”
I averted Rubia’s gaze, rolling my eyes around.
“Noah.”
“…Y-yes…”
“So which lady is it this time?”
gulp.
“I guess there’s no need to think. This time… you truly met Lilith, didn’t you?”
“…Uh, that… um… yeah. I-I did.”
I cautiously nodded.
Lilith.
I really met Lilith…
Right before coming over to this side, just for a brief moment.
I don’t know how it happened.
I don’t even know if that was truly Lilith.
Was it just an illusion?
Is it a phantasm? I couldn’t even figure that out myself.
One thing I did know was.
That the figure I encountered was the last appearance of the real Lilith.
If it wasn’t then, I wouldn’t meet her again.
So… to get the answers to the questions that had remained unresolved until then, I conversed with Lilith for just a moment.
That doesn’t mean I did anything warranting Rubia’s scolding. She was someone I was seeing for the first time. An entirely new being, and she appeared a bit more mature than Rubia… so… well, anyway.
“I-I only talked for a moment…! I-I didn’t do anything Rubia would hate… really…!”
Rubia, who had narrowed her eyes sharply at me, sighed as she lost her fierce aura.
“Yes. I believe you. Hmm, I assume Noah asked that lady why she brought you to this world, right?”
“Oh… y-yeah.”
Chuckling, Rubia, now fully dressed, filled a cup with water, waiting for my answer.
“And what did she say?”
With trembling legs, I approached Rubia and relayed the answer I had heard.
Since I’d resolved to say everything without hiding anything now!
“She said it was because she loved… you.”
At the same time, CRACK!
The metal water jug in Rubia’s hand distorted.
…Whoa, Rubia’s so strong…
