Lilith knew that she was ‘Rubia.’
Well, it’s not that she was sure; she just had a hunch.
Even when she heard about what happened after facing Kalt, or when they met during the trial, or even in Sirin’s memories.
Little by little, a tiny question began to creep into her mind: could the ‘Lilith’ of now actually be ‘Rubia’?
“When did you… know?”
When was it?
After stepping into this place, her head felt like it was filled with cotton, but upon seeing her face, the hazy questions became a little clearer.
That’s why she called her ‘Rubia.’
Yet, that doesn’t mean Lilith is actually ‘Rubia.’ It feels more like ‘Rubia’ is somewhere inside her being.
So she suspected.
The soul of ‘Rubia’ sensed within Lilith’s existence carries a similar vibe as when… the Nameless One occupied Rubia’s body.
…But then, suddenly showing tears… weakened her heart a bit.
And… just as she thought earlier, even if Lilith intended to harm her, she had confidence she could win, so for now, she decided to trust her.
After approaching, they exchanged a few words, and her conviction solidified.
But whether Lilith had become ‘Rubia’ or ‘Rubia’ had been Lilith is still unclear.
The more she thought about it, the more her head hurt, so she stopped. Besides, pondering for too long would ruin the surprise events like now.
…Sure, her headache was the primary reason to stop thinking, but still, those worries weren’t necessary anymore.
What mattered now was the fact that the one standing before her, crying, was ‘Rubia.’
“…How did you know…? I’ve already become… Lilith…”
‘Rubia,’ who had been staring blankly at her for a while, asked in a trembling voice. Her tone sounded like she was on the verge of bursting into tears. Tears were already pooling in her eyes.
“There’s no way I wouldn’t know.”
Right. It took her a bit to reach certainty, but there’s no way she could be oblivious to matters concerning Rubia, that secret.
“Why…?”
“…Because it’s Rubia.”
Because it’s Rubia.
The Rubia I love.
The Rubia who loves me.
You might think it’s a ridiculous reason.
But if the presence before me is ‘Rubia,’ then it makes sense.
And…
“You promised… didn’t you?”
They promised.
Under the night sky painted with fiery colors.
In the Ferris wheel, just the two of them left.
“To call out ‘Rubia’ by her name.”
Carefully, she lifted her arms and embraced her waist. Her face buried in her chest, and although it felt a little suffocating, she hugged her tightly.
“Did you wait long…?”
Hoo. She let out a breath and looked up.
Then, with the kindest smile she could muster towards the ‘Rubia’ who was holding back tears, she spoke again.
“Now, it’s all okay. I’ll save you.”
At that moment.
Tears flowing from ‘Rubia,’ all the emotions she had been holding back, overflowed.
*
Pat pat – Sitting down and listening to the very sorrowful ‘Rubia’ cry and soothing her took a while.
She, wiping her nose on my clothes, finally looked up.
“D-Don’t look at me…”
She then buried her face again to wipe her tears and snot on my clothes.
Fixing her hair, regulating her breath.
After rubbing her eyes several times, she finally glanced back at me.
“Uh… how do I look?”
“…Pretty.”
Her nose was red, and her eyelids were bright red, but she looked beautiful.
“Heh heh… Don’t lie… I’ve been crying for so long… how could I look pretty?”
However, while saying that, Rubia pressed herself into my arms as if feeling good.
…But I was so small that it felt like she was the one embracing me.
Still, I didn’t mind and gently patted her back.
“Ha… aren’t you curious about anything?”
Finally, after releasing all the pent-up emotions, Rubia asked while burying her face in my neck.
Her voice and breath made me shiver with ticklishness, but I held back and thought.
Curious? Curious.
Honestly, I had a mountain of questions.
Why did ‘Rubia’ become Lilith?
Or, was ‘Rubia’ the one who had always been Lilith?
Like the chicken or the egg issue… those kinds of questions.
Since I had once reversed time and restarted the world, I wanted to know everything that got tangled during the process.
Other curious questions…
were somewhat resolved while talking with ‘Rubia.’
Still, let’s verify.
Clears throat. I gathered my voice and spoke.
“…The level of the Nameless One… and it was Ser who demoted it, right?”
Likewise, ahem, ‘Rubia’ cleared her throat and replied with a slightly strained voice.
“Yes. That’s right. As I mentioned earlier, a deity shouldn’t feel emotions. Ser… made that Nameless One feel emotions. I don’t know how, but it’s truly amazing. They performed a miracle, quite literally.”
“…Yeah. Ser is a genius.”
That person is my friend.
I proudly puffed out my chest and confidently said.
“Hehe… Yes. That’s right. A genius.”
On the other hand, ‘Rubia’ responded with a teasing tone.
Why?
…Isn’t Ser a genius?
“Don’t you have any other questions?”
“Um…”
I had some other curiosities.
“Just go ahead and ask. I’ll answer everything.”
“…You won’t lie again, will you?”
I shot a glare at ‘Rubia.’
Then she shook her head with an ironic smile.
“I won’t. Here, I promise.”
Her little pinky was extended.
I too extended my pinky and wrapped it firmly.
Then… I asked.
“Right now, is ‘Rubia’ mixed with the existence of Lady Lilith?”
“Uh…”
Looking a bit flustered as if caught off guard by the unexpected question, ‘Rubia’ took a moment to mumble before answering.
“…Yes. It probably feels like that.”
“So… Lady Lilith is, regardless, still present?”
“Hmm… I’m Lilith, and Lilith is me, so, I guess…? No, perhaps I’m a newly born existence derived from Lilith’s essence, so, hmm, yes. In any case, Lilith hasn’t completely vanished.”
“I see…”
I don’t understand how it has come to this, but for now, I pretended to understand.
If it were ‘me,’ would I have grasped the situation?
…No, even they wouldn’t understand.
Because both I and ‘they’ are the same.
“I didn’t understand.”
“Oh, no…? I got it, you see?”
“Oh really? Didn’t we promise not to lie?”
“Eep…”
‘Rubia,’ who pressed her nose lightly, grinned mischievously.
“They say the Nameless One created me… I mean, the existence called Rubia, but that’s not true.”
“Y-Yes…?”
“In reality, it’s Lilith who made it so. Well… it’s an incomprehensible scuffle of those beings we can’t understand, so I can’t grasp it fully, but it’s roughly that feeling. So, ultimately, I’m… like the daughter of Lilith, or perhaps a kind of doppelgänger. I don’t quite understand what that means, even the information in my head is baffling to me, so I can’t explain it any better… I’m sorry.”
“Uh… ‘Rubia’ doesn’t need to apologize. Uh, in any case… what matters is that Lady Lilith hasn’t disappeared…”
I said that, but my head was swirling with countless thoughts.
Rubia… was a necessary person to create the legend of the Nameless One.
Then, that Rubia… was Lilith who…
I don’t know the reason.
No, there is one thing I anticipate.
If Lilith, the one who brought me into this world, believed in me to save Rubia and stirred all this up… it all adds up.
The basis for that blind faith is…
“Noah.”
Rubia’s voice shattered my thoughts.
“Yes, yes…?”
“Then, may I ask the things I was curious about now?”
“Yes, of course…!”
As I felt a pleasant hand stroking through my hair, I nodded vigorously.
“What do you intend to do?”
“What are you talking about…?”
“You mentioned planning to save me, Noah. I was curious about that plan.”
“…Plan?”
“Yes. Since both of us have already been through this once, we know how to change the world without stepping outside the regulations and fundamentals… how to do that and what lines not to cross, we know it all. But you don’t, right?”
The hand that was stroking halted.
“Moreover, you had vowed to return to your original world. After saving ‘everyone,’ you promised to live here in this world… But how are you supposed to save me?”
Her voice was somewhat stern.
And thick with concern.
But it also had a tone suggesting she trusted me.
“After you save me in that way… a deity won’t exist in this world. Then, the outside deities will continuously come to engulf this world… Is that alright?”
Not a doubt, but a question.
I quietly gazed at ‘Rubia’ who spoke like that.
“‘Rubia’ doesn’t deny my words.”
“Deny…?”
“Yes. ‘I’ confidently declared it was impossible… But ‘Rubia’ doesn’t feel that way. It seems like ‘Rubia’ believes I can do it.”
“Well—”
Rubia tilted her head.
Between her slightly parted lips, the words I wanted to hear the most flowed out.
“Because it’s Noah.”
A statement of certainty.
That meant she believed in me unconditionally.
“…That’s right.”
So.
“I can do it.”
For the sake of saving Rubia.
To protect Rubia.
To make Rubia happy.
“I can do anything.”
Whatever it is.
Beyond possibility and impossibility.
I.
“I can deliver.”
For Rubia.
“For Rubia.”
“I will deliver everything.”
Hoping that my words would be the answer.
I gently pushed ‘Rubia’ away.
I stood up.
Holding her hand, I helped her up.
“Noah?”
“Now… there’s not much time left, right?”
“…How did you…”
Looking at me with an anxious expression, ‘Rubia’ gazed down. I responded with a grin.
I released the hand I was holding.
Turned my back.
Placed a hand on my chest.
“Rubia.”
I was sad about parting.
I wanted to talk a bit more.
I wanted to hear the stories from the time when I wasn’t there, the stories of a ‘me’ that existed.
But.
But.
I wouldn’t listen.
I wouldn’t ask any questions, whether I’m curious or oblivious.
Later.
In a distant future.
If we meet again.
If we can meet.
Then.
Then I hope to hear it then.
At that time, we too will tell.
The stories of the time when you weren’t here.
The stories of the world without you.
The story that you created.
Our story.
Our happy ending.
So.
For now.
“Just watch.”
For Rubia.
“For Rubia.”
“Watch what I’m going to do.”
Boom! An unknown force ignites within me.
A colossal explosion unlike anything I ever experienced when facing ‘myself’ or the Nameless One.
“I will show what I can do.”
Boom! The force that tore through my entire being, overwhelming my soul, burst forth.
I won’t restrain it. I’ll unleash it.
I’ll pour everything into it.
The furious flames ignited even higher.
I grasped it. I contained it.
I molded my sword, my great sword, with my very soul.
I reshaped my existence anew.
I grasped it.
I pulled it out.
———!!
The divine realm of ‘Rubia.’
The divine realm of Lilith.
The world binding her cries out.
It denies my power.
It denies my capacity.
It denies my soul, my existence.
I can’t even twitch a finger under this pressure.
We—who have towered above deities—squeeze my existence.
They try to exclude me.
They try to force my presence, this world, these gods.
Within that, I clutched tightly the soul that felt like it might vanish at any moment. I whipped my trembling legs to stand. I opened my blood-stained eyes.
And saw.
The world.
The world that binds the entity known as god.
Regulations. Fundamentals. Concepts. Laws.
The will of the world.
And all that encompasses its will, I confronted it.
The sun.
A sun so brilliant I couldn’t dare to face it.
It set all darkness aside, bringing forth a new morning.
A sun that brightens tomorrow, the future, and the world.
It spoke. It proclaimed.
Asked for a price to pay.
To pay the price and ascend to godhood.
To protect and maintain this world as a god.
I didn’t speak. I didn’t declare.
I simply aimed my great sword. I raised it.
A fierce backlash. The will of the world rebelled. It crushed my body.
I arose to shatter that will. I lifted my head. I opened my eyes. The sun erupted.
The land, my being, surged as if it were about to blaze.
I accepted that. I didn’t resist. I added to my strength. I wrapped it around my great sword.
I drove it into my soul.
It spoke.
It promised to grant my desires.
To that, I responded.
What I wish for.
Is destruction.
To break every despair, every darkness, every agony.
Every existence, every human, every god, every Lilith.
For ‘Rubia,’ for ‘me,’ for everyone.
To break the damn shackles we’ve been bound to forever.
To regulations. Fundamentals. Concepts. Laws.
To everything that blocks my path.
To shatter them thoroughly.
And thus.
To meet tomorrow.
To become the sun that brings hope to humanity, the light that guides.
To greet the new sun.
That’s what.
I, Rubia, we.
Will create.
Will achieve.
The end.
The beginning.
A miracle.
The will of the world screams. Wails. Shouts. A massive force comes crashing toward me.
Facing it, thud. I ground my feet.
The earth popped up. Light scattered. And in between, crimson darkness invaded.
The streaming darkness stained the world.
It shrouded the sun’s light.
Yet the sun burns brilliantly.
The will of the world. Everything.
Towards that.
I swung my great sword. My dignity. My soul. My existence.
I swung it.
With each movement of the great sword, everything touched by it, all within its trajectory, was sliced.
It split, it shattered.
The scenery distorted. The world tore apart.
It wouldn’t be restored. It wouldn’t realign.
At last, I reached the sun.
I touched the light. The very heart of it.
The sun ebbed. The light extinguished. It tore apart.
Afterwards, a black sun rose.
The black sun denying the will of the world.
The black sun affirming and embracing my will.
Standing beneath it.
With my great sword in hand.
From that great sword, which is my very existence.
Light arose.
Flourishing flowers.
Heaven torn asunder.
Heaven fallen.
Heaven stopped.
Heaven reversed.
Heaven opened.
The will of them.
The wishes of the forgotten heroes.
All that was sacrificed for the sake of protecting the world.
I gathered it all. I collected it.
Let it shatter, I gripped it tightly. I lifted it.
I swung it.
Flourishing flowers. All possibilities bloomed.
I swung it.
Heaven torn asunder. I broke the world’s resistance.
I swung it.
Heaven fallen. I threw down a world with only will remaining.
I swung it.
Heaven stopped. I stilled the struggles of the will.
I swung it.
Heaven reversed. I defied the will’s intent.
I swung it.
Heaven opened. Thus, I opened a new sky.
Even so, there remained light.
Light that wouldn’t extinguish.
Light that wouldn’t fade away.
My light.
My path.
My will.
Within it, my desire.
I recalled the name that kept me alive—the name.
Rubia.
Rubia.
I turned my back.
I looked at her.
I gazed upon ‘her’ obscured by fierce light.
I thought of the ‘her’ I can’t meet right now, far away.
A smile emerged.
I opened my mouth.
Hoping it would reach ‘her,’ I murmured.
Reciting the final promise I made with ‘her,’ a promise I couldn’t keep.
“I’ll say that I love you.”
‘Rubia’ reached out her hand toward me.
I turned away.
I lifted the great sword.
I raised my final light, my intent, my will.
Simultaneously, I closed my eyes.
I envisioned Rubia’s face.
I reminisced her kind smile.
I recalled her gentle voice.
I felt her warm body temperature.
I remembered our first encounter, the promises we made, the conversations, the love.
I recalled everything about Rubia.
The person I love.
The lovely person.
The person I can’t help but love.
I pictured her future, one where she’d be happy.
I imagined it. I wished for it.
I opened my eyes.
In front of it, blocking my way.
I saw the world filled with despair where she once lived.
I saw the world still shrouded in darkness.
I saw a world trapped within a damnable shackle.
Behind that.
I saw the world everybody must move toward.
Rubia.
Everyone I love.
I saw the world where everyone could live happily.
I stepped toward that place.
I swung my great sword.
A new sun arose along that path.
The risen sun scattered light everywhere.
A light brighter than anything.
A light that could embrace everything.
A light that could open the world, beyond heaven.
Opening of the world.
The wrong world shattered.
A new world opened.
