I was lost in the game.
I immersed myself in gaming to forget reality.
In the game, I was happy.
Meeting many people, growing, laughing, and crying.
In the end, I saved the world.
No matter how I made my character.
No matter what weapon I used.
No matter what route I took.
No matter what life I lived.
No matter what trials I faced.
Even if I had disabilities just like my body.
I saved the world without being broken.
I reached the ending where all NPCs survived.
But, just one person.
The Shaman was not in that world.
The Shaman, who could only save the world by sacrificing herself.
She threw herself away, saying she was happy.
Happy that she could save the world with her own life.
Then, what about those left in the world?
The ones who remember all those moments together?
The ones who shared happy moments together?
The ones with whom futures were promised?
The ones who can’t forget all of that.
Who can’t let go.
How are they supposed to live?
I wanted to know the answer.
I chased an answer I could never know for a lifetime.
So, I couldn’t know.
Because the Shaman was just a character in the game.
A character who lived as predetermined.
There was no being in this world who could tell me that answer.
Since that day.
I stopped watching the story.
I couldn’t bear to see any more sacrifice.
I didn’t want to recall the memories of the past.
I didn’t want to remember my parents who saved me and died.
*
So, save Rubia.
By any means necessary.
No matter what process I go through.
As long as I’m alive.
I don’t care.
Before ‘my’ self gets consumed.
Before ‘I’ disappear.
Before I become a character in the game.
I have to raise her affection.
*
“…Noah.”
I heard Rubia’s trembling voice.
I closed my eyes and relaxed.
I opened my mouth.
“Yes?”
“So, um… what did you say about me?”
“What do you mean…?”
“That, um… just now… you said something about my face…”
“Oh, I said Rubia is pretty?”
Rubia swallowed hard and tapped the bed.
“Ugh… No, but… can you really tell how I look just by touching?”
“Hmm… I can tell a rough idea…?”
“Then… can I ask how I look…?”
Suddenly, Rubia’s voice was filled with embarrassment.
Well, if she says she’s pretty because of her face… it makes sense to feel shy.
I might have burst out laughing…
“Alright. Hmm…”
I reached out toward Rubia while recalling the face I saw on the monitor before.
The first place my hand touched was her collarbone.
“Eep… that tickles, Noah…”
Slowly.
I moved softly so I wouldn’t poke Rubia’s eyes.
I traced up her shoulder, past her neck, and reached her face.
“First of all, Rubia has… hmm, nice skin. It’s soft… and your forehead is round. Such a cute forehead…”
I continued down and gently patted around her eyes.
“Your eyes… whoa, your eyelashes are super long. The shape is… a bit fierce, but still kind. And they’re big.”
My fingers went down to her nose.
“Your nose is slender… and high. And your ears…”
I trailed down to Rubia’s ear.
“Your ears are surprisingly cute… um… how do I even explain this? Your earlobes are super soft. Hehe… It’s fun to touch. Your ear… um? Rubia, are you getting hot? Your ears are warm…?”
“Noah…”
Just as my hand was about to slowly descend towards her lips, it was blocked by Rubia’s hand.
“Yes…?”
“I, um, I’ll go to the… restroom.”
With a panicked voice, Rubia rushed to the bathroom.
Was she in a hurry…?
Well, I found it hard to hold it in after my body changed too…
Understanding Rubia, I nodded and waited casually.
Since Rubia had been with me ever since I didn’t have the Great Sword, I hadn’t realized…
It felt so empty.
Without the Great Sword, without Rubia, and without… pants.
In many ways, it felt empty…
“Rub, Rubia… when will you come back?”
I couldn’t keep my calm and called out to Rubia, who went to the bathroom, a little louder.
“Ah… Ahem, um… I’m coming out now.”
With the sound of the door opening, Rubia came out of the bathroom.
Then she stomped toward me.
“Noah.”
“Yes?”
I turned my head toward Rubia’s voice.
“Yap.”
“Eek! Wh-what was that?!”
Drops of water splashed onto my face.
“Puhuh- It’s water. Cold, right?”
“Ugh… why did you suddenly do that…? Quickly dry it off.”
I wiped my face, grumbling.
“I just suddenly found you annoying, Noah. Hehe…”
With a strange laugh, Rubia came dashing toward me.
“Ugh-! I-I don’t wanna…”
She then started to rub my face with her wet hands.
“I won’t stop until I wipe your face clean.”
After a long time of smushing my face, Rubia finally pressed her face close to mine.
“R-Rubia! Did you wash your face?! It’s… it’s cold!”
My face was all wet…
Ugh, ugh…!!
I… I won’t hold back anymore!!
I’m going to wipe my wet face all over Rubia’s clothes!
“Ga, come here!”
I stretched my arms up to grab Rubia.
There was a soft squishy sensation where I reached…
“Why does it feel so squishy…? Rubia… are you… not wearing… underwear…?”
“Oh my, oh my?”
“Uh…? No, no… I’m sorry…!”
I quickly pulled my hands back and looked down.
No, it’s unfair…
Rubia provoked me first!
Th-That… th-that was just unnecessarily big!
It’s not fair!
“Noah, you shouldn’t just touch my chest. Unless you have permission, of course.”
“I didn’t… touch it… that wasn’t it… And what permission…! A-Ah, I’m sorry.”
Rubia’s breath was getting closer.
“So, how was it?”
“Y-Yes…?”
The voice that was in front of my face soon came to my ear.
“Just like when you explained my face, can you explain that too?”
“W-What explanation…”
I backed away quickly.
Rubia followed closely.
“About what you just touched. How did it feel?”
“M-M-M-Mad?! W-Why would I…”
Once again, I tried to pull back.
Rubia came right after me again.
“It’s not madness. I’m just curious. I’ve never heard how it feels for someone else to touch me, and I’ve never been touched by anyone.”
That’s definitely madness.
She’s definitely crazy…
Y-You were like this?!
“Y-You’re just teasing me. Don’t tease me…!”
“I’m not teasing… uh, stop Noah.”
“No way…!”
“No, if you move, you’ll fall-”
I desperately braced myself against the bed as I tried to back away.
Just as I scooted back a little more…
“Uh…?”
The sensation touching my hand disappeared, and my body tilted over.
Everything felt like slow motion.
I… was at the edge of the bed.
That’s gonna hurt… it’ll definitely hurt… ugh…
The floor should be fine, right?
I’d rather my head break than the floor… if my head breaks, Rubia can heal it, but the repair on the floor would cost too much…
As I thought of all sorts of things racing through my head, just as my hair touched the floor…
“Hey… I said stop. Why won’t you listen?”
Rubia’s hand supported my back.
“Oh, wow… nice save, Rubia!”
But… Rubia’s arm started to tremble.
“Quickly, get up… my arm hurts.”
“Ugh… y-yes!”
As soon as I answered, I pushed myself up swiftly.
“Phew… that scared me… be careful, Noah. Even though I can cast healing spells, it still hurts.”
“Yes, yes…”
“Hmm… this won’t do.”
The bed started to sway.
Rubia seemed to inch closer to me again…!
“Stay still. I won’t make you do anything weird.”
Knowing I was about to run away again, Rubia nailed down that I shouldn’t move.
One step, two steps… Rubia slowly crawled toward me and embraced my back.
“R-Rubia…?”
“If we’re like this, you won’t run away, right? And you won’t fall either.”
With this much closeness, the feeling from earlier rushed back, and I twisted my body.
“That’s true… but, uh, Rubia…! I want jelly! Can you bring me some jelly?”
“No way.”
That was a firm rejection…
“Uh, well… I-I want to go to the bathroom…!”
“Let’s go together.”
“Wha…”
C-crazy… crazy!
Rubia’s gone nuts!
What on Earth is this?!
“Right now, since I don’t have the Great Sword, it’s inconvenient to go alone, right?”
“Uh, no…”
“It’s inconvenient, for sure. What if you trip while going?”
Rubia slowly lifted up my body.
“W-Wait a moment.”
“Why? Was that a lie?”
Rubia’s cold voice stabbed at my conscience.
Wh-what to do…?
Should I just say it was a lie and get scolded?
Going to the bathroom together… that’s just not happening.
That’s really not happening!
“Ah, um… y-yes… it was a lie…”
“Noah. Are you playing hard to get with me?”
“Y-Yes…? N-No! That’s not…”
“You hugged me first last time, and now you say you don’t want to? Do you really dislike being close to me that much?”
“I don’t dislike it… I just feel embarrassed…”
“Why would you be embarrassed? And normally, friends do this kind of stuff. Besides, aren’t we ‘really close friends’ who share secrets?”
Friends…
Really close friends who share secrets…!
B-but guys don’t usually do this, do they…?
“Well, um… do girls normally do this? I’ve never had friends…”
After a brief silence, Rubia answered calmly.
“Of course.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, it’s not weird, so you can be comfortable around me. Close friends do this.”
“B-But I haven’t seen anyone do this outside…”
“You haven’t seen those people at home, have you?”
“W-Well, that’s true…”
“Yes. That kind of thing happens typically at home or in comfortable spaces?”
Is it true…?
Do girls do things like that?
Or is it the culture of this world…?
It feels so right when she says it so confidently…!
Could it be… am I the weird one?
“Well, um… okay. I’ll be like this…”
Rubia’s hand began to stroke my head.
“Great choice. From now on, I’ll teach you how to get close to friends. Slowly.”
Rubia’s voice sounded like she was comforting an animal she was about to eat.
“Especially, I’ll feed you jelly.”
“Eh…? There’s jelly? Wasn’t it on the table over there?”
“I put it in my pocket earlier.”
“Whoa… but why didn’t you earlier…”
“I forgot.”
“Is that so…?”
Had it all been planned from the start…?
“Okay, aah.”
“Ahhh-”
I opened my mouth like a baby bird waiting for food, and Rubia’s finger slipped in.
It was… a bit too deep.
“Oh, I seemed to have put it in too deep.”
The finger that touched my tongue was like the jelly entering my mouth.
“Chew- Ah, it’s peach flavor.”
It… was peach flavor…
