Um…
I’m not really one to misjudge what’s scary; usually, it’s when I’m watching movies or dramas, or maybe when I’m playing games.
In general, I’m not that easily scared outside.
Well, if I were really on the verge of starving to death or freezing to death, alone in some forest, or if I stumbled upon a scene of a dismemberment while walking down the street, I might be trembling a bit.
I’m the type who strolls through narrow alleyways at midnight without any trouble, and I don’t avoid dark places just because they’re dark.
Of course, after experiencing… that incident, the streets were a bit scary for a while, and I couldn’t even go to the gyudon shop, but that was a real experience.
At least, I wasn’t someone who gets scared in someone else’s house.
“…”
But this place feels a bit scary.
Is it because the lights are off?
It didn’t seem so scary at Yamashita’s house.
If you asked which place was wider, that one was definitely wider, and it wasn’t packed with people either. No matter how many Yakuza gathered, it was basically just a house where a family lives. Excluding the bodyguards, it had plenty of empty rooms.
So, there shouldn’t be much to be scared of here either.
Even if the house looked a bit old, it seemed nice and clean, didn’t it?
I thought for a moment before closing the door again.
And when I turned around, Kuro and Kagami, who were inside the kotatsu, were looking at me.
They looked like they were wondering why I was going out.
I seriously pondered.
Should I really say something now? Is it really that difficult to wait and just go in the morning?
This room isn’t scary. There’s a kotatsu, and although it’s spacious enough for three blankets, it’s because Kagami and Koko are here.
Besides, thinking back to the experiences I face every day, the two of them would almost definitely sleep right next to me. They might not be physically touching, but just a slight movement would make it clear they were right there.
It used to be a bit uncomfortable, but now, knowing I’m not alone has me feeling a bit happier.
…Anyways.
I fidgeted with my legs a bit.
A little… urgent, maybe?
Maybe I drank too much tea. With the TV on, I mindlessly grabbed and munched on the snacks Kagami brought way too many of, and my throat’s dry and my mouth’s too sweet from all that green tea I drank.
“What’s wrong?”
While hearing Kagami’s words, I legitimately thought very seriously.
Should I say this?
Is it okay to hold back one of the two options: holding in my urge to go to the bathroom or holding back my fear?
No, more importantly, why am I suddenly so scared? I have no idea.
Kuro had left the room and hasn’t come back yet.
I contemplated seriously and shut my eyes tight.
“I-I want to go to the bathroom.”
“Yes, you just said that and got up.”
Kagami tilted her head, looking puzzled.
She looked really confused. It was definitely not acting. Of course, Koko looked even more clueless than that.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
Then I opened my closed eyes and said, “…I’d like it if you could go with me.”
“…”
The room fell into a brief silence.
Kagami stared at me without saying a word, then suddenly seemed determined and got up from her seat.
“Let’s go together.”
“Uu.”
Koko also stood up. However, her expression was much more cheerful compared to the serious-looking Kagami.
She probably doesn’t understand the situation. She probably doesn’t even know the concept of not being able to go to the bathroom alone.
If it were Koko, even if she saw a ghost, she’d just tilt her head and go “Uu?” as she made the ghost’s costume fall apart.
Kagami came closer and grabbed my hand tightly.
Then she bent her waist a little to match my eye level and said, “This mom will absolutely, definitely protect you.”
It seems my words triggered Kagami’s protective instinct quite strongly.
I gritted my teeth and merely nodded.
*
“I-I have to wait until you come out.”
“Of course. Do you not trust me?”
What’s that supposed to mean?
I think it’s a little weird for her to say that in the context of me calling her “mom,” but somehow, the way she emphasizes “mom” makes me feel a bit strange.
No, more than that, it’s a bit urgent. When I picked up my pace, Kagami quickly brought me toward the bathroom.
Why is the bathroom so far away? With such a big house, shouldn’t there be one bathroom in each room?
Though, thinking about it, since the house is quite old, there’s not much to be done. What can you say about not having one outside?
The lights in the hallway weren’t turned on. I guess there’s no reason to turn on the lights since it’s just us in the house. Outside, the moonlight was shining brightly, so even at night, the hallway was quite clear.
Finally getting to the bathroom, I opened the door.
“Shall I sing a song for you outside?”
Kagami said that absurd line with such seriousness that I looked at her with a perplexed expression and hurriedly went inside the bathroom.
*
I silently covered my face.
I had already done everything I needed to do, but now I found it hard to accept the situation.
Isn’t that strange?
Uncharacteristically, despite me having transformed my body, absorbing gods, and even putting a knife into it, I’m oddly scared of this house and asked Kagami to come with me to the bathroom.
Standing outside with my mom and sister feels like a primary school student afraid of ghosts popping out from the toilet.
No, nowadays, even primary school kids wouldn’t be scared of such things.
…Or maybe not? Since it’s 2005, that might be possible. Back then, internet accessibility wasn’t this good.
Anyway, the reason I can’t go outside is…
It’s because Kagami is really singing.
Was she trying to drown out my sounds or just reassuring me not to be scared?
What’s even more ridiculous is that I feel at ease with her singing. I mean, my fear genuinely vanished. Originally, being with the two of them meant there was no reason to feel scared, but thinking that Kagami out there “really exists” calmed my heart.
“…”
But I can’t just sit here.
My legs are starting to feel a little numb, so I stood up.
I tidied up, closed the toilet lid, and flushed.
I washed my hands at the sink and looked up.
And then I saw the hair hanging over my head.
I reflexively struck the mirror where my hair was reflected. At the same time, I realized it was incredibly foolish.
“Ouch!”
Luckily, the mirror didn’t break, but my hand hurt.
Perhaps because I’m still partly human, I don’t have the ability to dull or eliminate pain, which unfortunately does not apply to this body. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have struggled so much during combat.
“What happened!?”
It seems the one more surprised was Kagami than me in the bathroom.
It sounded like she was about to burst down the door any second.
Before she could actually break it down, I hurriedly opened the door for her.
“Koto Ne, what happened?”
Kagami rushed in without even waiting for me to come out of the bathroom.
Japanese bathrooms, unless they’re comparatively narrow places—like the apartment we live in—usually separate the toilet from the bath. For reasons I don’t quite understand, they seem to prefer that arrangement.
I guess it’s nice not to have the bathroom paper getting wet while showering, making it more pleasant to do your business.
So, inevitably, bathrooms tend to be very cramped. Honestly, it’s not a place for more than one person to be. Unless you’re in some scenario that seems out of adult films.
“Uh, it’s, um, nothing much.”
When I stuttered, trying to calm myself, Kagami swiftly turned to look at me.
“Something made a noise inside. It sounded like something hit hard or bumped.”
That’s a very accurate assessment.
Honestly, I felt a bit embarrassed and wanted things to stop, but Kagami peering into my face put pressure on me to sit on the toilet lid.
“What is it? Did you see something inside?”
“Uh…”
I had no intention of hiding it.
In this world, Yōkai are real and ghosts are real. If there were truly a ghost in this house, it would be best for it to be addressed properly. It bears my name, so someday it would be used again. If that happens and I encounter a ghost, I’d feel uneasy.
But telling her about any of that while we’re in the bathroom is a bit…
If I don’t tell her, Kagami won’t let up, so I sighed deeply.
“…Yeah. I saw it. My hair was reflected in the mirror.”
“Hair?”
I nodded and looked up at the ceiling.
Then I pointed with my finger.
“Over there.”
There was a splotch that caught my eye.
I can’t be entirely sure if something was actually growing from that splotch, but thinking back to what appeared in the mirror, it was probably about that position.
Kagami frowned, glancing up.
The dark splotch looked like it had been wet then dried. It’s definitely not blood. I know that by now. Blood is much darker.
“You know how I said this house has been through a lot of history?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know all the stories myself. Even if my older sister were alive, it would likely be the same for her. There’s probably no need to know everything.”
“That’s right.”
I nodded.
They said it’s history that’s been passed down through whispers. That means they’d only filtered out the absolutely necessary parts.
Who died here, who was injured, those wouldn’t matter much to the people involved. Rather, what mattered more was how offerings were made and how successful the ritual was.
The deaths and pain would have been concealed, and they probably erased them from their memories too. That’d be easier for them.
Even after we find out why there’s a ghost attached to this house, there’s likely much that we can’t understand.
“Could this be why you called me?”
“No, I wouldn’t say it’s just because of this…”
Thinking it might be this that triggered my sudden fear, I began to understand it a little.
There was a similar experience back at the apartment. Of course, it wasn’t a ghost, but Koko. Still, it felt similar.
“…”
Kagami looked at me with a complicated expression.
“What?”
“Your instincts… Are you sure they’re not a bit heightened?”
I’ve never really seen ghosts properly, even in this world.
Aren’t people whose instincts are heightened like those who see ghosts? They’d be shivering while saying they can see them while everyone else walks around totally fine.
I think I had a friend in middle school like that. She had weak energy and couldn’t even attend her grandfather’s funeral.
Back then, I genuinely didn’t believe in it, but in this world, refusing to believe is a denial of reality, I guess.
“Is that why I might’ve been created like this?”
Or perhaps I might be a soul from another world.
I swallowed that thought for now.
“…”
We went quiet for a moment.
“How about we just put up some talismans for now? Having a ghost show up in the bathroom isn’t a pleasant thing.”
I nodded.
That’s right. Honestly, seeing something strange when I’m doing my business is a definite no-go.
Plus, that strange thing could also be a man.
…
No, as a man who lived much longer, it might be a bit strange even if a woman shows up, but for now, in this world, I’m in this body.
A male ghost peeping into a girls’ bathroom? That feels disgusting. More than that, it’s a crime.
No, just because it’s a woman doesn’t mean it’s not a crime.
What am I even saying?
*
Nevertheless, Kagami managed to write the talismans well, despite being a priestess.
While she didn’t use the branches we saw last time, it seemed sufficient enough to prevent ghosts from easily entering certain places.
“So far, no one has died inside here, so I think even if there is a ghost, it’s probably not a very strong presence.”
Kagami said.
“Since we’re planning to stay for a night, this should be good.”
“…”
As I pondered while looking at the talisman Kagami stuck on the door, she smiled a little.
“Want me to teach you how to use it?”
“Uh? Ah, no, that’s not it.”
Of course, it’d be nice to know, so maybe I’ll ask later. Or I could even get a few in advance.
It’d be good to use them if something similar happens during a courage test.
“If that ghost died here… I can’t shake the feeling that their death must have been regretful.”
At my words, Kagami paused.
“About that…”
She seemed to want to say something but eventually chose to remain silent.
It seems she somewhat agrees with my thoughts.
“Well, just piling things up or sealing them away feels a bit cruel.”
Kagami stared at me for a while after I said that.
Did I overstep my bounds a bit?
While trying to think seriously, my vision suddenly went dark.
Kagami suddenly hugged me tightly.
“How could our daughter think so well.”
“Ugh.”
My face was squished against Kagami and I couldn’t produce a proper sound.
“Definitely, that’s correct. Just leaving things like this would be wrong.”
Then Kagami, who released me, said quietly.
“…I’m not sure if it’ll reach, but shall we hold a ritual for them?”
Kagami proposed that.
“Is that possible?”
“With a bit of hurried preparation, we could manage a ritual. It doesn’t require a lot of people.”
I nodded at Kagami’s words.
“Let’s do that then.”
I doubt that this will be resolved in one go.
It might be better to hold it periodically over several times.
For the various souls who might be here, whether they are or aren’t.
I’m not sure if I can bring them peace. In fact, I don’t really think that’s a presumptuous thought.
However, if they were just bound due to regret, then perhaps they only appeared because they wanted to talk.
“…Let’s just call it a day for now. It seems like we’ll need to prepare from early morning tomorrow.”
At Kagami’s words, Koko and I nodded.
We crawled into the blankets.
Indeed, just as I thought, Kagami and Koko stuck close to me as they slept.
Tonight, that distance didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
…Not that I was scared to sleep alone or anything like that.
Anyway, that was that.
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