[Warning: A slightly brutal scene ahead!]
[Please be cautious when watching!]
“Rubia Shaman, it’s almost time.”
“Ha… I’ll be out soon, so please head to the banquet hall.”
“No, I’ll wait…”
“Selie, what did I just say?”
“… Understood.”
The shadow that had lingered by the door faded away.
“Anyone would think I’m a damn bitch. Those bastard idiots.”
I tossed my belongings into the bag roughly and glared at the mirror.
My dazzling white hair and blue eyes still hadn’t become familiar to me.
The brilliant golden hair and eyes inherited from my late mother couldn’t be found anywhere else.
If an outsider who knew nothing saw me, nine out of ten… no, all ten would say I was beautiful.
It was a special color that only those chosen as shamans could possess.
But I felt nothing but hatred for each strand of hair, every trait that made me, me.
I wanted to tear it all apart.
I had tried to pluck it out countless times.
Tried to die, countless times.
So many times, I lost count.
But this world wouldn’t let me die.
It wouldn’t let me commit suicide.
My life as a shaman shouldn’t end in such a place.
There was something I was meant to do here, and it wouldn’t let me be.
Just five years ago, I was an ordinary girl.
Just a little troublemaker wandering around.
In a small village with a small house.
I never thought I was unhappy.
The academy everyone attended?
I didn’t need to go.
The meat everyone ate?
I was happy just nibbling on grass.
As long as I had my one remaining family.
If my little brother was there, it didn’t matter at all.
Then, disaster struck the village.
A mere dozen monsters.
If there had been even one famous knight, it would have been easily stopped.
But the small village had no knights, not even an apprentice knight.
They said it was a village free of monster threats.
They wouldn’t send even an ordinary knight because it wouldn’t pay enough.
The baker was half demolished.
The blacksmith brother burst apart.
The guard’s head rolled about.
The clothes shop sister was raped while dead.
The little brat who always teased me…
The brat’s sister…
The neighbor uncle…
The grandfather tending the flowerbed…
The grandma who was always nagging me…
All the people I knew.
The people I didn’t know.
A newborn baby.
The mother…
My mother’s grave…
My brother…
He died.
He was torn apart.
My brother’s blood splattered across my face.
His teeth were pulled out.
Limbs rolled across the floor.
My entrails stained my clothes.
He protected me even after all that.
My 15-year-old little brother.
That fragile girl.
Who never once said anything unpleasant.
My little brother, who had matured far too early…
Shattered before my eyes.
And yet, I survived.
Just before monsters would’ve killed me, the knights finally arrived.
They said it was a small village.
They said there was no monster threat.
Why, why?!
What were these things?
Why did everyone die?
Why did my brother have to die?
And why now did they come to save me?
They said I was chosen as a shaman.
They said they came to rescue me.
“A shaman meant to save the world. That’s me.”
“Bullshit…”
I howled.
I swallowed poison.
I hung myself.
I sliced my wrists.
I choked on it all.
I tried to spit it all out.
I cut the rope from my neck.
Even the torn veins healed.
They kept insisting that a shaman shouldn’t die like this.
“Please, save us, save the world,” they kept saying.
“If only I had been chosen earlier.
If you had come just five minutes sooner…
My brother would still be alive.
I wouldn’t be this broken.
The will to save the world would not have flickered out.”
No.
If only I hadn’t been chosen as a shaman, I could have died alongside my brother.
I hate you.
Those people who look at me with admiration are disgusting.
I wish all monsters and humans would just die.
Everything in this world, everything I see is filled with hatred.
I won’t save the world.
I won’t save anyone.
You all should lose something precious.
I finished packing all my things and secured the rope at the window.
I looked down.
The ground looked awfully far from the sixth floor.
But so what?
I can’t die anyway.
This damn life of mine can’t perish until I’ve saved the world.
I won’t die so wastefully here.
I even found an adventurer to escort me.
I issued a request for the search, and thankfully, they accepted it.
A girl carrying tremendous rumors these days.
A blind girl who can’t see my face, my hair, or my eyes.
And yet, she has risen to the silver rank.
She was just the right person to protect me.
Before I jumped, I looked up at the sky for someone watching over me.
“Are you watching, goddess?
I’m escaping now, right this moment.
If you have a problem, come catch me personally.”
I grabbed the rope and jumped down.
Hoping to die right then.
*
I looked up at the sky.
I felt the guild’s ceiling…
I just looked through the eyes of my heart.
Today, I prayed to the gods.
“Please, make me just 1cm taller.
And let my requestor be a decent person…”
After finishing the prayer, I approached the requestor sitting up ahead to greet her.
“Umm… h-hello…”
Fortunately, the requestor was a woman.
But… something is off about this person.
She had been glancing around nervously for a while.
She isn’t a criminal, right?
“Cough, hello. Are you Shinoa?”
I heard the requestor’s soft voice.
There was something alluring about it… her voice was really nice.
And…
And…!
Her breasts were ridiculously huge.
Monstrous.
Sinisterly and brutally large.
No way.
Is that size even realistically possible…?
My head was spinning. Wow…
“Y-yes…”
“Nice to meet you. How about we go to a quieter place to talk? It’s so chaotic here…”
The requestor frowned and looked around.
The expression on her face scrunched up all over.
While it was nothing to me, having gotten used to it after two months, it wasn’t a friendly atmosphere for an ordinary girl.
The requestor’s monstrous figure was also hard to miss, even covered by a robe.
I nodded enthusiastically.
“Where should we go…?”
“Um, well, I don’t know what’s around here. Can I ask you to guide me?”
Oh no.
That’s a tough mission.
I don’t know either since I haven’t been roaming around…
“U-uh…”
What should I do?
Should I guide her to my room?
No, that’s not a good idea…
Even if this requestor has money… what if she runs off with my stuff!
And there are materials I pulled from monsters lying around, so she probably wouldn’t even want to step in, right…?
It doesn’t smell, but visually, it’s another story, right?
“Is there… not anywhere?”
I heard the requestor’s frustrated voice.
I felt like the request was already about to be canceled now…!
No, no, not my 30 gold!
Sweat was pouring down as I racked my brain.
Then, just one place.
The only spot where this social zero can comfortably rest came to mind.
“Ah…! I-I thought of a place. Come this way…!”
The requestor nodded and hurriedly jumped up to follow me.
Seeing her walk confidently while obviously trembling suggested that adventurers were quite terrifying.
I bet even just the gruff voices would sound a bit intimidating.
But surely she’d appreciate that place since it’s definitely quiet?
How did I even think of it in this situation?
Even with my intelligence stat at minimum, my natural smarts must have still kicked in.
Phew, I’m glad.
I left the guild with a proud smile.
*
“Hey, Shinoa.”
The requestor’s cold voice pressed down on my body.
“Y-yes…?”
Oh no, I bit my tongue.
“Is this the place you mentioned?”
“Y-yes… Do you not like it…?”
“Ha…”
The muscles in the requestor’s jaw worked as she gritted her teeth.
So… what’s wrong?!
It’s quiet! There are no prying eyes! No one here… well, except one person who doesn’t bother us!
“Yes, it’s quiet, no prying eyes, all good, but…”
“… Right? Hehe…”
“Eh…? What about the laugh… no, ha…”
The requestor pressed her forehead and leaned close to whisper in my ear.
“This is… a blacksmith’s shop.”
“Um, yes…?”
It’s true.
The only place I can quietly relax!
Most adventurers are too cheap to have their gear serviced.
So it’s practically never busy here.
But I have no skill with my hands, so I’ve become a regular!
Plus, the blacksmith owner is completely gruff.
So far, all he’s said to me is:
“30 silver.”
“10 AM tomorrow.”
“Shop closed.”
“Are you in a hurry?”
“Got it.”
There’s been nothing more.
Such a nerdy guy fits perfectly with my awkward physique!
What’s more! Even if I stay inside and do nothing, he doesn’t look at me or anything, just quietly works on his business!
It’s truly a blacksmith just for me—only for me.
“That… guy doesn’t care about us, so it’s fine.”
“Wow! No, wow… wow!”
The requestor slapped her forehead and shook her body as if having a mini breakdown.
Was she still tense from earlier?
Hmm… at times like these, we should eat something warm to relieve the tension!
“Should I call you requestor…?”
“Call me Rubia… no, Ailin.”
“Then, Ailin… how about some coffee…?”
“What? Coffee in a blacksmith’s?”
“Something sweet or bitter… which one do you prefer?”
“What in the world are you…?”
Ah, she doesn’t like coffee.
“We have milk too!”
I had bought it for myself, but I’m offering it specially!
“Why am I protecting someone like this…?”
Ailin buried her face into the desk and lamented.
There’s no juice…
“Should I buy juice…?”
“… Just give me coffee. Make it seriously bitter. Make it so bitter I can die from it.”
“Too bitter isn’t good for you…”
Bang
Ailin slammed her hands onto the desk and stood up.
“Ugh-hic!”
Whoa!
It’s a mess even when I’m concerned!
“Just… please… bring me anything… okay?”
Ailin’s face muscles were tight with tension.
I feel like I’m looking at a goblin.
“Y-yes… I’ll bring you some seriously bitter coffee…”
Normally, two spoons are already extremely bitter… but I decided to add four instead.
And yet she drank it like a champ.
