Kyoto was actually a place I’ve been to before, so just looking at it didn’t bring anything new.
But even if there was nothing new to see, the people I was with and the scenery were different.
The scenery of March was a vivid green.
The rich greenery made even just looking at it feel like my eyes were becoming clearer.
And, unsurprisingly, Kagami seemed to be seeing that scene for the first time, too.
She must have seen it in photos. She probably also saw it on TV. But taking in the whole view with her eyes and seeing it on a small screen at home were completely different.
“Let’s buy a camera.”
After buying the third disposable camera, I said.
The third means that today is the third one. If we count all the ones bought throughout the trip, it’s already way more than that.
The reason I insisted on buying this was probably because I felt that leaving memories on film would yield better quality than phone photos.
However, taking an endless number of pictures was a hassle, and it turned out to be clunky to carry around more than I expected. After taking photos on film, I understood why the digitalization of photos happened so quickly.
“Since we are buying it, let’s go for a good quality one.”
When I said that with a serious expression, Kagami laughed.
“Should we?”
“Yeah.”
I turned the lever of the camera to switch to the next film as I spoke.
“It’s convenient to have. Plus, you can keep it for a long time and it doesn’t take up much space. And once we buy it, we’ll probably keep using it, not just for the trip but also for daily life.”
I raised my head to look at Kagami as I spoke.
“We could fill entire albums with it.”
“…….”
Kagami looked at me with a smile.
“That sounds nice.”
Since there was a brief silence, I thought maybe bringing up the camera was a bit much, but in reality, it seemed like she was caught up in daydreams. My cheeks flushed slightly.
Hmm…….
Did I bring it up for no reason? I feel like I might end up taking a photo of my sleeping face since I woke up early to get breakfast ready.
click!
I pressed the camera shutter aimed at Kagami’s face. At the sound, Kagami blinked as if she regained her senses.
“Since we plan to stay for the day, should we get the camera developed in advance?”
“Sounds good. It’s indeed quite bulky to carry around as it is.”
Although it wasn’t overflowing the trunk yet, it would be inconvenient to carry everything to develop.
“And since we’re at it, let’s go buy a camera too!”
“Huh?”
At that, I blinked my eyes.
“A camera? Right now?”
“Yes. Since we have time, and there are memories to capture.”
She said it so naturally that I stared blankly at Kagami for a moment, mouth slightly agape.
“That’s… expensive, isn’t it?”
“I don’t think it’s out of my reach.”
What? Is she way richer than I expected?
No, of course, the hotel we’re staying at doesn’t look cheap, and I know that if they are able to travel almost full-time for the whole vacation, they must have plenty of leisure, but.
In both my past and current lives, I haven’t completely shaken off the mindset of a commoner, so this discussion was a bit mind-boggling.
“Let’s go and think about it. If we don’t move quickly, the sun will set!”
In fact, we were running a bit short on time to visit many places. I thought taking a car to roam around the city would delay us even more, so we took the subway, but Kyoto and Osaka were farther apart than I thought. The distance between tourist spots was pretty far too.
Maybe that’s why Kagami was in such a hurry. It was all about the time.
“Wow?”
When Kagami grabbed Koko’s hand, Koko tilted her head.
Then, seeing her take my hand with the other, I found it unbelievable again, but Kagami’s cheerful face leading the way was so bright that I couldn’t say anything.
*
In the end, we bought a camera.
Neither Kagami nor I knew much about cameras, so we went with something easy to use and carry. Not just any digital camera, but a decent-looking DSLR.
It looked similar to the camera I had seen in the photo department. Then again, cameras naturally look like cameras, so for someone who didn’t know any better, they could easily look the same.
click!
The sound of the camera shutter was cheerful. It was different from the sound of a disposable camera that simply made a tick noise.
I dropped off only the disposable cameras I had on me for development. Since the car was headed toward the hotel, going back would waste even more time.
click!
“Wow, this is great.”
Kagami pressed the shutter with a genuinely cheerful expression.
I wonder if I ever looked like that when I was fiddling with the camcorder.
The fact that you can check the results right away after taking a photo probably feels comfortable. And of course, the quality would definitely be much better than a phone camera.
Digital technology at the time I knew was significantly inferior, so it takes a bit longer to save, and it’s bulkier than cameras or phones back then, but it’s still way more convenient than film cameras.
It seems Kagami has already taken enough pictures for one roll of film.
Hmm, at first, I wondered whether it would be worth the money, but honestly, seeing her snapping away like this makes it seem like we would quickly reclaim the cost.
“I want to take some pictures too.”
“Will you?”
As I reached out my hand, Kagami willingly handed over the camera to me.
Back in my childhood, even though it wasn’t a DSLR, I had a similar-looking film camera at home. It felt similar to what I had seen before.
Through the lens, I focused on the faces of Kagami and Koko, click, click, taking one shot at a time.
Both of them looked so pretty that just clicking the shutter made a nice shot.
“Alright, let’s make sure to take lots of pictures with this today.”
“Of course.”
Kagami nodded, smiling.
*
So we spent time in Osaka and Kyoto, and it was time to leave.
Usually, when it’s time to depart from a travel destination, I would feel a strange sense of regret, but really, it wasn’t like that here.
It was probably because even the road we were returning on was still part of the “journey.”
I got into the car driven by Kagami while checking the map, and Koko happily hummed a song.
Sometimes, if there was a song I knew among the children’s songs Koko hummed, Kagami would hum along, and I followed suit. It wasn’t something we did on purpose.
The atmosphere had simply become that relaxed.
On the highway, we stopped by a rest area to buy something delicious, recommending things to each other and eating more.
In the clothing store at the rest station, Kagami bought me a dress. It was a white dress resembling one that was a simple design that Kagami often wore.
Suddenly, I remembered it was the kind of outfit typically worn by heroine characters in the mid-2000s, which made me chuckle a bit.
At Kagami’s insistence, Koko and I changed into that outfit. Once we draped cardigans over it, it matched exactly what Kagami usually wore.
Of course, there was a significant difference in body shape that made it hard to compare. Honestly, I had no idea if it suited me.
Well, since Kagami was excitedly taking pictures, at the very least, I felt it suited what she saw.
When we returned, we didn’t stop anywhere along the way. We had already spent an extra day touring Osaka and Kyoto, so it was unavoidable if we wanted to reach the hot spring on time.
Unlike the last time we stopped midway, being in the car for over three hours in a single day was a bit tough.
“This is a nice place.”
When we arrived at the ryokan, Kagami’s eyes sparkled.
Every moment with family was a first for her.
At first, I thought her face, glowing with the joy of a child, was a bit amusing, but the more I saw that expression on her face while doing anything, the more I couldn’t help but feel somewhat bittersweet.
It wasn’t that I was bored or tired.
It was just… a bit pitying.
My attitude gradually softened, and I started to accommodate Kagami more. That was probably the reason.
“Come on, hurry up!”
After greeting Grandma Kaoru and during our guidance to our room, Kagami had been calm, yet upon entering the room, her expression brightened immediately.
I barely managed to stop her from throwing off her clothes right there and then, guiding her to the changing room to calm down a bit.
The room we received was a family room. It seemed to be designed to comfortably accommodate around five people, so with just the three of us, there was plenty of space.
Moreover, there was an open-air hot spring outside. The small open-air bath was for the use of people staying in the room, providing a unique charm in itself.
March in Japan isn’t that cold a season. However, it was definitely a much more pleasant temperature to enter than the hot springs I experienced last summer.
Before entering the hot spring, we first washed our bodies clean and tied up our hair.
I, Koko, and Kagami all wrapped large towels around our bodies.
In fact, I didn’t mind showing my body to Koko, or seeing hers. It was only natural. Koko’s body was exactly the same as mine.
Moreover, I often washed her body while taking care of her.
If I were to nitpick, I had entered the hot spring with friends back then, so there shouldn’t be too much need to be overly worried about showing my body to others.
But, the other person was Kagami, after all.
To be honest, there’s no way I couldn’t be conscious about her body.
Fortunately, Kagami seemed unaware that I was being conscious.
“Haah…….”
Kagami was the first to enter the hot spring. That was a relief.
She cautiously dipped her toes into the hot water and slowly made her way in, behaving like someone who entered an onsen for the first time.
I often heard that Japanese people are serious about hot springs. I had heard several times that they love soaking in baths, not just onsen.
How often Japanese people visit onsen, I’m not sure, but in an ordinary family of three to four, they probably go onsen touring at least once.
It seemed Kagami didn’t even know that.
I took Koko with me and sat between her and Kagami.
I exhaled lightly and looked up at the sky.
The sky was tinged red from the sunset.
“Did you really want to come in that bad?”
When I spoke, Kagami’s gaze turned towards me.
Her eyes were slightly unfocused.
As a smile threatened to escape from those eyes, I held back my urge to laugh.
“I’m talking about the hot spring.”
“Ah….”
At my words, Kagami chuckled softly, then leaned her head back again with her eyes closed.
In a slightly languid voice, she said,
“Well… there is that.”
Her eyes drooped slightly.
Gazing blankly at the sky, Kagami spoke.
“It feels like if I don’t enjoy it quickly and leave evidence of it, I’ll have to regret it later.”
“Why? I’m not going anywhere.”
“Is that so?”
At my words, Kagami turned her gaze back toward the inside.
Her eyes were still a little unfocused, but there was a hint of disbelief mixed in her expression.
“……There won’t be such a thing anymore.”
I guess I was referring to the times I’ve died twice.
The reason Kagami felt oddly anxious whenever she was with me was probably because of that. She still hadn’t completely shaken off those memories.
“Umm, is that so?”
“Can’t you believe it?”
When I asked, Kagami considered for a moment before speaking.
“Honestly, no.”
“……”
“A bit… can I be a spoil sport?”
A spoil sport?
But before I could say anything, Kagami moved her lips first.
“It’s not just about what happened back then, but honestly, I don’t think Kotoné treats me like family completely yet.”
“Um….”
I found it hard to respond to that statement.
In reality, I’ve never completely thought of her as family. No, it’s not that I don’t think of her as family… but that’s not the case either.
I don’t possess memories of living here since childhood, and it hasn’t even been a year since I met Kagami.
So much has happened in that time, and thanks to all of that, the period for acceptance could certainly have decreased, but still, I needed a bit more time.
Slowly—
I felt that saying “slowly” wouldn’t be appropriate right now.
“……”
Like Kagami, I leaned back and stared at the sky.
The color of the sunset sky was changing very, very slowly. If time passes just a bit longer, it will surely turn completely into night, and stars will appear.
“What if I promise?”
I couldn’t give a definite answer right now.
But still, I could undoubtedly accept it with time.
So.
“A promise?”
“Yeah. I’ll always be here.”
‘Here’ means the name ‘Kurosawa Kotoné.’
Once I start living, I don’t want to give it up. So, I will continue to live in this world as Kurosawa Kotoné.
If so, it logically follows that Kagami will always be my mom, and Koko will always be my sister… Well, if you go by birth order, one could say I’m the older sister, but let’s brush that aside for now.
I may change, but that change will be as Kurosawa Kotoné.
“So, there’s no need to worry too much.”
As I made a decisive statement, Kagami thought for a moment before suddenly extending her hand toward me.
A hand with a pinky raised.
“Then let’s make a promise.”
I stared at her hand and then hooked my pinky around hers.
“Alright. It’s a promise.”
“And one more.”
“Yeah?”
Kagami tightened her grip on my finger, making it hard to escape. Well, with being wet from the water, and the fact that Kagami isn’t incredibly strong, I could easily run away if I wanted to.
“I need one definite assurance.”
“Assurance?”
“Yes. After all, Kotoné already made a promise to me before.”
“…….”
Oh.
“What did you say you would do when you got back? Well, you didn’t say it precisely, but I think you called me ‘Kagami’ when you were leaving for your trip.”
That’s right.
In the car, I was so flustered that I called her without realizing it.
Back then, I thought Kagami wouldn’t remember it since she was stunned.
“How can I trust this promise of yours when you’ve already broken one?”
Kagami’s words pricked my conscience.
Although her expression was playful, I figured if I truly hated it, she would probably give it a break.
But…….
I kept my mouth shut.
Should I make an excuse here?
Coming back was a promise from that time, and since I returned after dying and coming back to life, that promise was practically invalid.
No, that seemed a bit too cowardly.
Moreover, at that last moment, I couldn’t leave any words for Koko or Kagami. Although I had a decent conversation with Yuka, I basically closed my eyes the moment they rushed over.
For me to break that promise after all this time and say something like ‘it doesn’t count’ wouldn’t be right.
After thinking it over for a moment, I let out a small sigh.
“……Yeah.”
Nodding my head, I said,
“……Mom.”
“…….”
Kagami didn’t say anything.
She just stared at me wide-eyed.
Her grip tightened, making it impossible for me to pull away. The tip of my pinky was slowly turning red.
“……Mom?”
If I was going to change how I addressed her, I needed to do it properly. Even though that title made my heart shrivel with embarrassment every time I said it, it was true that in this world, a mom was a mom.
Titles tend to feel awkward at first, but you get used to them as time passes.
However, there was something more important than the awkwardness right now.
“Mom?”
“Wuu?!”
When I raised my voice slightly, Koko reacted too, who had been languid.
“Kotoné?”
Koko tilted her head.
“Mom, take a deep breath!”
That’s right.
Kagami had her eyes wide open and was so tense that she seemed to have forgotten to breathe. Was her heart going to stop?
After I grabbed her shoulder with my free hand and shook her vigorously, Kagami finally blinked her eyes.
Then she took a deep breath and shouted,
“Kotoné!”
Letting go of my hand, she enveloped me in her arms.
“Whoa!?”
With my face buried in Kagami’s embrace, I struggled. I could hear the sound of splashing water.
“Kotoné? Kagami?”
Koko appeared to think it was a game—No, considering Koko loves to snuggle, she was probably happy.
I felt Koko wrapping her arms around both Kagami and me.
Kagami’s arms could finally relax a bit, allowing me to lift my face and take a breath.
This time, I could finally see her face again.
The happiest face in the world was right there.
Kagami didn’t say a word.
She just smiled and cried.
“……”
Seeing that expression, I found myself at a loss for words. Even Koko fell silent.
For a while, we remained enveloped in Kagami’s arms like that.
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