“What are you talking about?”
You mean we can’t go together?
It is possible that it merely means we can’t leave together, but Hwa-rin’s sad expression clearly indicated something else.
“I mean it. I have to stay at the Sichuan Tang Family from now on.”
“Are you sick? Did you fail to become a poison user?”
There were indeed suspicions. No visits allowed, the guard unit’s attitude, Hwa-rin’s sudden visit, the medicine she took in the morning, her strange demeanor today.
Could it be that Hwa-rin failed the poison user experiment? All my worries, which I had pushed aside, rushed back at once.
“No. I succeeded.”
Hwa-rin slowly shook her head and denied my words.
“Is it because the Tang Family won’t let you leave as a poison user? Or is it because if the Deputy Head of Family can’t survive, then you won’t be able to leave either?”
If it were true, I would rush to the Tang Family Head right away. If that’s what you want, I’ll serve you a Game of Thrones special!
“No.”
“Then what? Why are you doing this?”
“…….”
Hwa-rin seemed to struggle to maintain her expression, tightening her eyes and swallowing her words.
“Speak up, Hwa-rin.”
“There’s a problem with controlling the poison.”
Hwa-rin spoke to me, lowering her head as if revealing a painful truth.
“Poison? Does that mean you can’t control it like last time and you end up fainting or feeling sick?”
“My health is fine. But when it’s not a normal situation, I have difficulty controlling the poison.”
“When it’s not a normal situation?”
As I looked at Hwa-rin with a confused expression, she stood up, stepping away from me, and raised her hand, showing me as she collected the poison.
“Yeah. When there’s too much of the poisonous substance, if my emotions get too heightened, the poison leaks out uncontrollably.”
Hwa-rin added that when she was extremely nervous, in a cold sweat, or sad, poison would naturally come out like tears.
“Didn’t you become a complete poison user?”
Your skin looks clean.
“Right. My condition is the complete poison user stage in the Sichuan Tang Family’s eyes. It’s a state where I can handle poison without being affected by the poison in my body, like spiritual beings with poisonous substances, and when a physical change occurs, poison naturally oozes out.”
“No, is that really what they call a complete poison user?”
From Hwa-rin’s explanation, it sounds more like a human spirit being with deadly poison inside rather than a complete poison user. Can that really be considered a complete poison user?
I couldn’t help but ask again in disbelief.
“If I had taken my time and slowly absorbed just the Thousand Year Poisonous Substance, there wouldn’t have been any problems. The issue is that the situation was too urgent, and I had to absorb the poisonous substances of two spirits.”
Hwa-rin comforted me that even this was a miracle.
Hwa-rin. The one who needs comfort isn’t me. Sure, for an ordinary person, surviving after taking two essences of a deadly poison would definitely be a miracle.
They would all celebrate what they would call a regrettable success. But I know.
“It’s my fault. Once again, my reputation wasn’t enough.”
If just the Thousand Year Poisonous Substance could have prevented issues, it means I could have handled two poisons if my reputation had been sufficient.
In the end, is it my responsibility that Hwa-rin can’t return to the Tea Bookstore?
Thud “Oh, Yoon-ho oppa.”
The moment So-hee promised to meet again flashed in my mind. Do we really have to part this time without a promise?
“……Is it my fault?”
I mumbled to myself, feeling stuffy.
Hwa-rin believed we could be saved. She thought we were saved. But if, even if it differs from the original story’s ending, we can’t come into contact with others, isn’t it just another bad ending?
If you’re somewhat famous in a big city like Yichang and somewhat known even in the Sichuan Tang Family, shouldn’t I at least have the ability to save a woman with a miserable fate?
How much reputation do I really need to save their fates? If only I could see some visible numbers, it wouldn’t feel so frustrating.
“Yoon-ho. That’s not it.”
Hwa-rin strongly denied my mumbling with a stern face.
“No. If I just worked a bit harder…”
What choice should I have made to ensure Hwa-rin had a happy ending? There are many passing thoughts, but I can’t settle on any one definitive answer.
Hwa-rin opened her mouth to me, who bore an expression of frustration.
“Why are you blaming yourself? Yoon-ho has done his best. My daily life is fine now. I can take off the mask and walk around the market, and even eat street food.”
“But Hwa-rin.”
Humans are creatures that experience joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
There are times when one feels uncontrollably happy, times when one gets angry to a point of no control, and times when one wants to deny feelings of love and joy that arise.
Just because I can have a normal conversation with others, does that really mean I’m living a proper life?
“I’m worried, but there’s a way. There’s a martial art made just for poison users at the Tang Family.”
“Martial arts made for poison users?”
“Yeah. No matter how much my emotions get heightened, if I deepen my achievement in the martial art, it won’t be a problem. For three days, I learned the basics of the martial art, took the medicine the guard unit gave me, and that’s why I could have fun with you.”
“Then isn’t that all right?”
Was taking the guard unit’s medicine the reason behind that? If with just medicine and martial arts I can lead a normal life, then isn’t there no problem in leaving for Yichang?
Hwa-rin seemed to read my hopes, gazing at me happily for a moment before confessing with a sad face.
“Yeah, if I learn the poison user’s martial arts, it will be fine. So, Yoon-ho… let’s break up.”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you say you could learn martial arts?!”
Hwa-rin’s declaration of breaking up pierced my heart like a dagger of despair after a small hope.
“It’s because my martial arts achievement and the effect of the medicine aren’t complete. I have to stay in the Sichuan Tang Family.”
“Aren’t you just going to be apart for a bit?”
I can understand taking a break from each other temporarily. It’s not like we’re breaking up because we dislike each other, so why bring up a breakup?
As I tried to speak, Hwa-rin cut me off and continued talking.
“During the time I’m learning the martial arts, I can’t be by your side. I can’t be happy beside you, sad beside you, glad beside you, or angry beside you.”
Hwa-rin turned her head to avoid my gaze.
“Why make a big deal out of a short break?”
“It’s not just a short break. To achieve this will take far, far… too long.”
“How long will it take?”
Will it take decades? Even a lifetime might not be enough. If that were the case, I could understand Hwa-rin’s despair.
“Ten years…”
“Huh?”
“It could take as long as ten years…”
*
‘Guess you’re shocked, huh?’
Lady Tang looked at Kang Yoon-ho’s surprised face.
Just as expected. No matter how much you love someone, ten years is an incredibly cruel amount of time.
‘Most people get married by the age of 25 at the latest.’
In this world, where marriage in the late teens to early twenties is the norm, Yoon-ho and Lady Tang are both 21. They will soon turn 22.
While martial artists age slowly due to their inner strength, in just three years, they can already be labeled as old bachelors or old maids.
‘Yoon-ho will be doing well from now on.’
He’s the kind of guy who will thrive no matter where he is. Plus, he has the fame of being the manager at the Tea Bookstore in Yichang and the author of The Rise of the Tang Family.
Although being from Joseon is a disqualifying factor for him to be a first-rate groom, it won’t be long before that black hair will no longer be a disqualifying factor.
To hold onto a man who will soon be able to find a good match for almost ten years. At 32, he could easily be a father of three.
Can she hold on to Kang Yoon-ho, who will only gain fame as time passes? Can she be sure of when she’ll be able to step back into the world? Lady Tang found herself lacking.
She couldn’t face Kang Yoon-ho and imagine how he sees her now.
She sank to the floor and gazed up at the night sky through the large window, finally speaking.
“Yoon-ho, you know, I never wanted to be part of the Sichuan Tang Family or be a poison user. I just wanted… just wanted to have a friend.”
She wanted a friend. A friend she could share her heart with.
The stars twinkled faintly in the sky. Whether it be stars or a friend’s hand, both are out of reach.
Even facing a mirror, she could retreat, and who would come closer to her? Nothing so joyful could ever happen to her.
But miracles come when you’re most desperate.
“I must have been too greedy, and that’s why the heavens are angry.”
Lady Tang bowed her head in sadness as she hugged her knees.
The man who approached like a miracle.
Why does he keep helping me? Even if I push him away, he still offers his hand. Being with him feels like becoming an ordinary person.
From being a naïve girl sheltered by the Head of the Seong Family to becoming a poison user receiving the expectations of the Tang Family, Yoon-ho sacrificed everything to help her.
She just wanted a friend.
And somehow, she ended up with someone so precious that nothing could compare.
“Do I really need ten whole years to achieve martial arts?”
Lady Tang flinched at the voice of the most important person behind her.
“Could be one year, or three years, or even as long as ten years.”
“Right….”
A vast amount of time. Lady Tang felt anguish at Kang Yoon-ho’s silence.
“I had wanted something precious, but now I can’t have it.”
The poison in her body is unparalleled, even in the Tang Family. A short time is only a breeze; taking ten years is appropriate.
‘There’s nothing I can give Yoon-ho.’
To try to hold him for ten years or more would be sinful.
He had always held her hand and offered his kindness and love, yet holding onto him without giving anything in return is something she can never do.
She must let him go.
But she doesn’t want to.
Why should she let him go? He’s so precious. She likes him so much.
Lady Tang imagined Kang Yoon-ho’s wedding. The pain of knowing that this precious moment would not be hers burned even more than any poison. But more than that, she cannot tolerate being the barrier to his path.
So today was their final outing.
Good clothes, good items, delicious food. This was all the pathetic woman could offer.
“Yoon-ho, forget about me and find a better woman…”
Lady Tang spoke with a pain more intense than the poisoning of her body.
The separation from a loved one is the most painful of all, but when it’s time to step aside for the one you love, it must be your turn.
It’s time to let go of the hand she had always held.
“Ugh, you foolish girl.”
But the man’s hand was reluctant to let go.
“What?”
Lady Tang looked up at Kang Yoon-ho in surprise.
“I thought you were dying and I’d never see you again. Are you seriously crying over something so trivial?”
Kang Yoon-ho smiled, as if to say it was all right.
“Get up.”
As always, he extended his hand to Lady Tang.
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