Eventually, Yuka ended up sleeping in our room.
If we’re talking about knowing Kagami’s face, Yuuki would actually be the appropriate person, but as soon as I heard Yuuki’s story, I couldn’t help but put on a very displeased expression.
We were all students and since we had to go to school tomorrow, we divided into separate rooms around ten.
Kagami, as if committed to her role, spread her blanket out before going to bed.
Fortunately, Yuka’s spot was next to Koko. It seems Kagami knows how to be considerate up to that level.
Or maybe she still hasn’t forgiven me for being stabbed.
When the four of us lay down together in the room, it was almost cramped.
Um…
I feel like if Kagami hadn’t been there, we could have talked for quite a while in that state—
“Feel free to talk as you like.”
—It was as if Kagami had read my mind, and she spoke up first.
“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear anything.”
“……”
No, regardless of that, the fact that she’s listening doesn’t change.
Of course, I knew Kagami wouldn’t bring up such things to others.
It’s not because I trust her blindly; it’s just that there’s no one with whom she can openly discuss topics regarding a being she thinks of as her daughter…
Not wanting to answer Kagami, I just tried to fall asleep. Even Yuka would feel burdened talking about what’s inside her heart in front of Kagami.
“…I have a question.”
But Yuka, going beyond my thoughts, casually brought up the topic.
“What’s the exact relationship between the three of you?”
The emotion felt in those words was hard to describe.
What Yuka saw in Kagami was a mother abusing her daughter. Other than that, she appeared to be a leader of social gatherings or someone who might be plotting something suspicious behind the scenes, or even someone who would endanger the rest of the world in order to save her daughter.
Perhaps the huge gap between the first two scenarios and the last one created some confusion.
“…What should I say?”
Kagami pressed for my answer while hesitating slightly. Her voice had the atmosphere of someone who had heard a rather interesting story.
It just so happened that this voice was coming from right next to me.
I could hear a rustling sound, which indicated that Kagami had turned her body towards me.
“……”
I hesitated to answer.
The reason for my hesitating was quite simple.
If I answered honestly, referring to my thoughts, I was certain Kagami would take that as some kind of weakness.
Even if it was just a weakness regarding how we call each other when we’re alone, in this moment, it felt somewhat fatal.
“Koko, what about you?”
“Um?”
Yuka seemed to sense that my thoughts were complicated and asked Koko first.
Koko pondered for a moment and replied, “The food is delicious.”
…That was her answer.
“Really? That’s a relief. I’ve been studying quite hard.”
What was really surprising was that Kagami seemed to really like that answer.
What’s up with that?
No matter how I thought about it, it seemed like she regarded Koko as some sort of automated cooking tool rather than her mother. But is that okay?
Well, it was definitely a better relationship than being arch-enemies.
And perhaps it was also a result of Koko’s unique ‘omission’ phenomena. Kagami, when hugging tightly, enjoyed reciprocating, so it seems that at least in Koko’s eyes, Kagami appeared as a ‘friendly’ person.
…Ah, right.
Kagami had revived me.
Since Koko evaluated people based on whether they like or dislike them, Kagami, who saved someone she liked, would probably fall into the ‘good person’ category.
“So, it seems correct to say we are living together.”
Yuka answered with a small sigh.
Had she not believed it until now?
Well, even if she couldn’t believe it, I wouldn’t have anything to say.
“Isn’t it uncomfortable or anything?”
“It’s not uncomfortable.”
It’s not uncomfortable.
Honestly, it’s rather comfortable. Most of the chores I used to do were being taken care of by Kagami instead.
I didn’t have to get up like a knife in the morning to prepare Koko’s meals or to prepare dinner for Koko in advance—things like those were no longer my responsibility.
And I also didn’t need to feel guilty for letting Koko eat alone at home.
…It seems that Yuka was genuinely concerned since she kept asking such questions.
“I understand that the relationship between the two of you was an act,” Yuka said.
“But…”
She paused, gathering her words.
“If that was the case, it means you were quite an important person to her, right?”
And then, carefully added, “I’m wondering if you’re still acting.”
“……”
It’s not acting.
Honestly, it wasn’t completely comfortable with Kagami. I had made a promise to her that I still hadn’t fulfilled.
Yet, Kagami treated me as if I were genuinely her daughter.
Something about it just felt like it was a one-sided favor—it often made me uncomfortable.
Logically speaking, I thought it was because Kagami was in a position as my mother, but in the back of my mind, I still couldn’t accept her as my mother.
“You don’t need to worry too much.”
Before I could answer, Kagami spoke first.
“I’m sincere about it.”
“Sincere?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be sincere? I have no one left except for these two.”
Strictly speaking, there was still the social group left.
But it was clear that what Kagami referred to as ‘being is not meant in that way.
“……”
Yuka couldn’t respond to that remark from Kagami.
“It’s understandable to ask why I’m saying this now,” Yuka finally spoke.
Kagami rushed this time, slowly continuing her story.
“While the way I treated them was an act, my feelings prior to that were real. Leaving Koto Ne alone in that empty room, and Koko being trapped inside the fridge; all those things were real, intertwined with me. I never considered them my true daughters.”
A small sigh escaped.
“So, even if you tell me right now that you can’t forgive me, I wouldn’t have a defense for that. The only reason I can be here is that the two of you are allowing me to.”
“……”
Yuka fell silent, but her breath trembled slightly.
It seemed Yuka hadn’t planned to say something like that either.
She probably never imagined she would say this much with herself in the picture.
Actually, I was a bit taken aback too. Why was Kagami sharing such things with Yuka? Their relationship didn’t seem all that close. I wouldn’t have said such things to Yuka if it were me.
But once I listened to Kagami’s next words, I could understand the reason why.
“While I haven’t been able to fulfill my duties, you have been the one who helped the two the most.”
Kagami said.
“Most of the things in this room are from your home.”
Even the blanket we’re covering ourselves with right now.
“Rescuing an abandoned child in an empty place wasn’t their mother but a friend. I think I can’t thank you enough for that.”
“……”
Yuka seemed a little flustered, unable to say a word.
Perhaps she had never thought she would hear such words from Kagami.
“Although you might question if I’m being genuine,” Kagami continued in a tone that seemed to look somewhere far away.
“I think I am just that; someone who longs for something, a human who lacks something.”
Ultimately, she must be saying that she found what she wanted and is now making an effort to possess it.
Just like the previous Kagami had acted.
“Compared to you, who moved almost by goodwill.”
“…No.” Yuka replied.
“Even if it was goodwill, it doesn’t change the fact that I used Koto Ne’s abilities.”
What’s this?
Why is there suddenly a mutual understanding between them?
And moreover, I couldn’t insert myself into their dialogue, considering the two were oddly tiptoeing around me, like they were both apologizing in a roundabout way.
So I decided to shut my eyes and pretend to sleep.
“……”
Then their conversation came to a stop.
Were they both looking at me?
Fortunately, it seems Koko must’ve fallen asleep in the middle, as she let out gentle breathing sounds.
In the end, that night I fell asleep feeling the awkwardness all over my body.
*
The next morning.
I woke up early, and we all gathered in the room we were staying.
Having breakfast separately is just too much hassle for many reasons.
“…It’s good.”
Yuuki mumbled with a somewhat displeased expression while eating miso soup.
“Right? I thought you were someone who knew nothing about this kind of stuff.” Fukuda said.
“Simple dishes are easy to cook once you learn a little. If you want, I can teach you.”
“…Thanks, but I’m good. I’m already making breakfast for Dad every day.”
Fukuda sighed deeply.
Her expression was immensely complex. Is she thinking there was still a ‘possibility’?
It’s honestly hard for me to imagine Kagami treating Fukuda like she’s her daughter.
As Kagami said last night, she’s here because she wants something.
And what she desires is a family relationship.
With her biological daughter.
If she simply wanted a family, she would’ve married long ago.
I think she would have likely been a good mom to Fukuda, assuming she wanted it, but the fact that she doesn’t want it makes it a lost cause.
Then again, could she at least date someone?
“Is there something on my face?”
“…No, it’s nothing.”
Without realizing it, I looked directly at Kagami’s face.
Seeing her reaction, I averted my gaze back to my bowl of rice.
Mako, who had been alternating her gaze between Kagami and me, cautiously spoke.
“So, you two are… mother and daughter, right?”
All eyes from those eating came to focus on Mako’s cautious voice. By the way, the same goes for the gaze from Kagami and me.
“…Uh, well…”
I hesitated a bit before answering, “Yes, that’s right.”
Kagami answered with a broad smile.
My reaction seemed to leave Kagami more flustered than my own.
“Ah, yes…”
Seeming to think that it might be better not to probe further, Mako spoke in a lower tone and tried to finish the conversation, but—
“Is something strange about it?”
Kagami asked Mako like that.
Although her tone wasn’t interrogative, it was a rather ambiguous question to answer.
Naturally, it would seem strange.
Just the way we talk shows that.
I’m speaking informally with Kagami, while she talks respectfully; there’s a hint of playfulness, but fundamentally, her vocabulary is of extreme politeness.
Isn’t that quite a rare mix for a mother-daughter relationship?
Moreover, Mako had already witnessed how Kagami treated me in a domineering way. Since then, she’d only seen the changed side of Kagami.
So naturally, it would be even more puzzling.
“It’s just that….”
But who could say that in front of Kagami?
“If that’s the case, it seems we need to get a bit closer.”
Kagami said, looking at me.
“I think it’s about time we reconsider how we address each other, don’t you think?”
“……”
I shot a glare at Kagami.
She was entirely enjoying this.
When I didn’t say anything, Kagami decided not to bother me further.
In the end, breakfast concluded quietly.
*
The last people to leave the room were naturally Koko and me.
If we ran out first, the kids waiting through that small door would feel super awkward, so it was only natural.
“……”
Waiting for the kids to leave one by one, I was crouched down while brushing Kuro, who was stretching, when I felt someone staring at the back of my head.
Turning around, I found it was Kagami.
Kagami was staring intently at me while I stroked Kuro.
Why?
Of course, we would say hi as we went to school. Even if it’s not specifically “I’ll be back,” some casual hand waving should be expected.
Kagami had even come all the way to the door to see me off!
To an outsider, it looked like a picture-perfect family.
It was a funny situation where the hierarchical relationships seemed completely reversed.
“Um?”
When Kagami shifted her gaze to Koko, Koko tilted her head lightly.
After a while of staring at Koko, Kagami suddenly opened her arms wide.
Koko seemed surprised, but then gently moved into her embrace.
Kagami hugged Koko tightly with a happy expression.
It felt like Koko was getting used to Kagami more and more as time passed.
Being raised alongside Kuro likely influenced Koko, as she has a certain cat-like nature. Of course, she’s much less wary than a real cat; at times she feels more like a puppy, but still.
As such, she loves being stroked by people. She enjoys being cuddled too… unless that person is one Kuro is wary of.
Koko’s wariness towards Kagami seems to have completely vanished. Since that outing where she cuddled, she no longer has any recoil about hugging.
Just a moment ago, when Kagami was staring at me blankly, in complete contrast, I found myself staring at the two of them.
Realizing I was looking, Kagami released one of her arms to gesture me to come.
Was she inviting me in?
“……”
I pondered for a moment.
I considered them family. I know how hard Kagami is trying to grow closer to us.
However…
Hmm.
Somewhere, last night’s conversation and today’s morning chat lingered in my thoughts.
No matter how much I thought of them as family, it wouldn’t mean anything unless I showed that sentiment.
It could be meaningless if I say we’re friends while not feeling really close.
The kids at the funeral were children who truly mourned my death. Among them was Kagami.
She sat closest to the coffin, her face all teary-eyed and expressionless.
The moment we locked eyes was vivid.
The sincerity of that wish to bring me back to life, even if it meant switching with this world, was undeniable.
In my previous life, I wasn’t particularly warm towards my family. That said, I didn’t dislike them nor was our relationship rocky.
Given my nature, it was hard for me to outright say I liked them. Rather than enjoying pleasant conversations, I often put up more fights than not with my sibling.
In the end, I lost them all.
“……”
The smile on Kagami’s face twisted into a bitter grin.
The hand I had raised slowly descended. Would I be giving up again today?
Maybe so.
I can’t force a bond on someone trying to grow close to me.
So far, whenever Kagami has done something for me, I’d just responded with a blunt expression, kept my distance, or felt burdened.
After experiencing that multiple times, any confidence I had would be gone.
I slowly rose from my seat.
“Meow?”
As my hand suddenly dropped from Kuro’s head, she looked up at me, seeming pleased, and meowed.
I turned my body and walked toward Kagami, and then stepped into her outstretched arms.
Kagami’s eyes widened for an instant.
Worried she’d misread the situation, I tried to retract my body, but her arms had already wrapped around me tightly.
Kagami embraced both me and Koko together.
No words were exchanged.
It felt as if she simply wanted this moment to last, holding us close for a while.
When she finally released us, the parts of me that had touched her felt strangely warm.
I could tell without looking that her face was bright red.
Kagami looked at me with her usual expression.
Something stirred within me, but then I caught just the slightest shimmering at the end of her eyebrows.
“……”
I turned away without saying a word.
Since we hugged today, we probably wouldn’t need a morning greeting.
“Koto Ne?”
As I suddenly turned to leave, Koko hurriedly followed.
“Meow.”
The Kuro who had been looking up at me all this time finally meowed sadly, so I bent down again to stroke Kuro’s head and whispered, “I’ll be back.”
Then simply stood up, not looking back at Kagami, and turned away.
I glanced over at the kids waiting by the door.
They all had eyebrows collectively shaped into a frown, but simultaneously wore warm smiles.
Indeed, we had stayed inside for far too long.
It wouldn’t be strange if it were already time to peek outside again.
“Take care.”
Kagami said from behind.
Not bothering to look back, I simply waved my hand and left the house.
Ah, right. I thought that since I no longer needed to greet them, I forgot.
It was a miracle that I didn’t explode from the sheer intensity of focus that the children had on me during the hour-long subway ride.
…In the end, I couldn’t tidy up the addressing issue.
But still, somehow…
I had a feeling that eventually, I would.
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