I had confirmed one thing when we fought earlier.
If a space melts or breaks, everything within that ‘space’ meets the same end.
If it shatters like glass, everything inside also breaks. When it melts, the things inside conglomerate like they’ve been thrown into a furnace and start to blend together.
The reason I grabbed Nirlas by the neck with my wounded hand and caused the space to collapse was the same.
What would happen if two people were in a collapsing space, like inside a crumbling building?
They are completely different entities, but if something heavy falls from above and crushes them together, they will become indistinguishable.
Blood and flesh will get mixed up carelessly, and bones will be shattered and scattered everywhere. The internal organs will be much weaker than the surface, making it even harder to differentiate.
In reality, even so, it would be difficult to call those two beings the same entity. After all, they are just two different objects mixed up in one space.
But what if the space itself crumbled?
Not just two objects overlapping and getting tangled, but if the very concept of that space collapsed?
“I see.”
Nirlas said with a smile.
“Are you thinking of fighting the influences of the gods?”
I didn’t feel the need to answer that.
No, I might say there’s no time for an answer. Nirlas was greedily consuming my body beyond what I had thought.
I could hear the other personas maintaining my body screaming.
Parts of me that weren’t touching Nirlas were gradually splitting apart. Areas that should be made of flesh and bone slowly separated, as if becoming like hair.
“Koto Ne!”
Yuka yelled as she tried to swing her sword, but Nirlas moved my body to block her path.
“Good.”
Then they spoke to me.
The mouth on the side of their head twisted into a smile.
“I’m curious how far your thoughts have reached. I’d like to see it all, right to the end.”
Whether they knew my thoughts or not, it was uncertain.
I didn’t know if they were deliberately limiting it, or if I was also in a position of externality where I couldn’t read my own insides.
Even if I knew whether it was possible to read or not, my choices were extremely limited.
Merely slashing would not be enough to repel the ever-recovering Nirlas. Therefore, I had no choice but to hit the side that was not zero, even if the probability was low.
“Koto Ne!”
I heard Koko’s scream.
Koko’s body was deteriorating slightly. The Koko that had been holding herself together was now swinging her arm that was falling apart.
However, she was not someone who could be dealt with even with the blue flame. Koko’s body was not a match for her.
“Koko.”
I turned my body around.
Since my right hand was still grabbed by Nirlas, I could only manage a brief glance back.
However, I could still reach out.
Koko, stepping forward in front of Yuka, was still shedding tears.
“Koto Ne…”
Did she somehow sense what was about to happen?
Koko spoke through her tears as if begging.
If I could get free now, would I be able to escape from being devoured?
Though her body was crumbling here and there, still…
“…”
But instead, I merely touched Koko’s face with my left hand.
I gently wiped away the flowing tears.
Then, I turned my gaze to Yuka.
“Yuka, please take care of Koko.”
“Koto Ne!”
Who cried out at the end, Koko or Yuka?
No, from the overlapping sounds of their voices, it seemed that both of them had screamed.
I watched Yuka rush to Koko, embracing her, and my sanity crumbled.
*
No, it wasn’t completely shattered.
Still, light danced in front of my eyes. Like fireflies shining in the dark night, it flickered, guiding me forward little by little.
Without a body, I followed.
The light moved toward the light, and my vision slowly brightened.
What was there?
It was a door.
A wide-open door.
Was it a door opened by Nirlas to lure me in?
Or was it a memory conjured because my head needed to maintain its sanity, thanks to the Sasaki siblings’ blood?
Whichever it was, it was relentless.
The memory I had been trying so hard to escape was laid out before me.
The warning sound from the car echoed loudly. The honking never ceased. It wasn’t someone deliberately honking; it was a sound pressed out as something heavy was stuck above.
“…”
People were running around urgently.
Someone who had stopped their car to open the door and check the situation due to the blocked road.
People running around with stretchers to get the injured moved as quickly as possible.
There were even those pulling hoses from the fire truck to extinguish the fire on the car, and people directing the ones trying to stop and gawk.
That day’s memory was painfully vivid.
I walked slowly forward. I had no other choice.
Still, imagining the scene I was about to see frightened me.
But—this was just a memory, wasn’t it? What was happening outside now was reality.
No matter what happened to me here, if I didn’t do what I could, I would likely regret it even in death.
As long as I had my sanity.
Thinking like that as I tried to run, someone suddenly blocked my path.
“Wait a minute. Not that way.”
It was just like in the dream—
No, in some ways, it felt a bit different.
My comrade and I were nearly the same height. When facing each other, our gazes were almost at the same level.
But now, I was looking up at my comrade.
I raised my hand to look closer.
The outfit they wore was not a firefighter suit, but a black sailor uniform.
It was the school uniform of my high school.
The body wasn’t that of an adult male, but that of a slightly younger girl.
“This way.”
The comrade, as if they were completely unaware of my change, guided me.
I followed their back with a dazed feeling.
“…Don’t think too deeply right now.”
While following, the comrade spoke.
Their voice was very worried.
It felt a little different from the memory of that time. What was the reason?
“Listen carefully.”
After walking for a while, the comrade turned back to me, looking serious as they said.
“So, don’t think too deeply. Right now… just think about the people who are still alive. Understand?”
They placed a hand on my shoulder.
Bending slightly at the waist and looking at me seriously, they seemed unaware that my body had changed.
Well, this was a story from my memory.
Maybe it was a story I wished for.
Tap, tap.
They gently patted my shoulder and dashed off.
Heading to save the people, I suppose.
As I watched their figure leaving, I went down the path again.
There was an ambulance parked somewhat distant from the accident site.
So far, it wasn’t much different from my memory.
But what was it my comrade wanted to tell me? What was here?
At the time, I was in such a daze. Even though my family had been like that, I still had things to do, so I was rushing around.
Feeling sadness and despair came later.
Instead, right now, I felt calm.
I had gained as much as I had lost. I was living quite happily in that world.
“…”
My footsteps stopped.
From here, I could see clearly what was inside the ambulance.
What was there… certainly people.
The rescued person.
There was someone sitting at the ambulance entrance, wearing a hospital blanket over her shoulders, covered in soot.
She looked young enough that she wouldn’t seem out of place just having gone to university.
She nodded to the rescue workers while briefly talking, and then she looked at me.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
I couldn’t say a word.
I walked toward the ambulance with slightly unsteady steps.
I hadn’t been able to look at the photograph for quite some time. After that accident, every time I tried to see them, my heart felt like it was tearing apart, so I hid them deep in the drawer and hardly took them out.
Of course, since moving to another world, it was even more so. I didn’t even have photographs I could see.
As I got closer, my younger sister stared at me intently.
Could she recognize me even in this state?
Well, it might be obvious since this is a memory of mine.
“…”
But what should I say?
There wasn’t this kind of scene even in the dreams I had.
My younger sister… her face looked fine. It was only natural. She had been rescued properly here. Did the car get at least a little less crumpled?
What about Dad? What about Mom?
I almost said something but then held my tongue.
My comrade had said it earlier. Just think about the people still alive for now.
So… even in my memory, my parents…
“I’m sorry.”
In the end, the only words I could take out were those.
My memory was still too vivid. Whether Nirlas was showing me these scenes to deceive me, or if my subconscious was trying to protect me.
“Sorry? For what?”
My younger sister asked, as if confused by what I meant.
“I…”
“Wasn’t anything you could do.”
She looked at me as if she was questioning my words.
“It was just unfortunate. Like all the other unfortunate people.”
My younger sister had a rather serious expression.
I had seen this expression at times before. It was usually when we talked about grades during high school. She had been incredibly annoying about it then.
“What are you thinking while looking at a person’s face?”
“…”
“By the way, that outfit suits you well.”
When my younger sister said that, I felt strangely deflated.
It was odd.
Just thinking about wanting to see my family, whom I hadn’t seen for years, all the while always feeling gloomy and sad… but now that we were having this conversation, it felt strange.
“High school girl?”
“…Yeah, maybe.”
I replied.
A strange awkwardness.
Was it because she was my ‘younger sister’?
The guilt and sadness I felt just moments ago, and the sense of despair had strangely faded.
Even the current situation felt almost not so serious.
With a playful smile, my younger sister looked at me and said,
“You’re amazing. After being so absorbed in that manga, you’ve ended up inside one.”
“…It’s not a manga.”
I replied while giving her a sidelong glance.
“It’s a novel.”
“In the end, the cover looks just like a manga. The content must have been similar.”
“…”
I couldn’t deny it.
I ended up sneering a bit.
And then, belatedly, my chest ached.
Yeah, this kind of conversation is one that can only be had with a younger sister.
Koko, Yuka, and even the others I dated could never take her place. She knew me from my childhood.
We know so much about each other.
When I gave my younger sister a watch, it was actually somewhat to tease her.
Despite complaining about it, she was kind-hearted, so she couldn’t just throw it away and continued to use it. Even if she never called me ‘Onii-chan,’ I still felt she regarded me as an important family member quite often.
So, I also prepared two gifts for her for college. One was a wristwatch that wasn’t very meaningful besides telling the time.
The other was a laptop that she had been eagerly looking at since before she entered university.
…Though I never had the chance to give her the laptop.
Strangely, my younger sister liked the wristwatch I gave her. Even in the final moments, she was still wearing it on her wrist, so I supposed she found it somewhat useful.
“…”
Even now, it was still on her wrist.
“Why do you look so pained?”
“I—”
“Why? Are you trying to follow me or something?”
My younger sister furrowed her brow.
It was a look she would have whenever I did something she didn’t like. Seeing it now, I remembered each detail vividly.
“Isn’t it still too early for that?”
As she said that, my younger sister jumped down into the car, leaving the blanket on the inside.
“You…”
“Why?”
“No, it’s just…”
Was it because she was the version of my sister from my memory?
Seeing that vividly familiar face felt strange.
It was more like I was witnessing a ‘scene that triggers the memory’ rather than recalling the memories.
“Don’t tell me—”
I was about to say, but my younger sister broke into a slightly playful smile.
That was an expression she often made as well.
“Not yet.”
She said, cutting me off sharply.
“Not yet, you still want to stay there, don’t you?”
I found myself at a loss for words.
It felt like she was saying something meant for both her and me.
I realized belatedly.
Kosuzu, who had absorbed Nirlas’s body, had become a bridge connecting this world and the next.
There had been countless souls crossing over that body.
How many Yōkai had I cut down? That battle made Yuka, Koko, and I already too weak to move—
“Wait, wait a minute!”
I shouted urgently.
I think I’m beginning to understand a little.
The reason my body is different from my previous life’s body,
The reason I now have the ‘Kurosawa Koto Ne’s body.’
The present me—
“No.”
My younger sister chopped me off sharply.
Then she reached out one hand.
“Not yet. Let’s talk later. Honestly, do you really have any story worth meeting now?”
At her words, numerous memories flooded back to me.
“I am—”
“After Mom and Dad and I died, did you want to tell the story of holed up in the room feeling sorry for yourself? Seriously? Do you really want to just keep spilling out such sad stories after so long? Isn’t that a bit much?”
Tears welled in my eyes.
“Even if I wanted to tell a new story… it’s still a bit lacking. I’m sure a story like that would run out quickly if we just sat and talked for an hour or so.”
My younger sister came up to me and slowly placed both of her hands on my shoulders.
“Then, go.”
A gentle force filled that hold.
“Not yet.”
My body slightly nudged.
The weightless sensation hit me and I slowly began to be pushed back.
“And by the way, honestly, that story is one I’ve already heard. I’ve seen everything.”
“Ah…”
My younger sister chuckled playfully.
Her face started to slowly fade away.
“Don’t worry too much. It wasn’t painful. Just… I was a bit bored here.”
My younger sister said.
Koko’s body held numerous memories.
With countless consciousnesses ripped apart from a place that wasn’t this world—
“Don’t tell me, all this time!?”
I screamed.
But even then, my younger sister had already gone to a place I couldn’t reach.
“Don’t!”
“What do you mean by don’t?”
My younger sister said in disbelief.
“Weren’t you together with me? I couldn’t say anything until now!”
“Exactly, that’s why I’m saying go.”
She took a step back.
Surrounding scenery started to slowly distort. And one by one, it began to crumble.
Just like the space I had seen recently collapsing.
“From here on out, we’ll be far apart. We’re already used to being apart. We were distanced in life and death.”
That’s right.
We were distanced in the realms of life and death.
“So… let’s meet next time. That would be better.”
“Please…!”
I flailed my hands but, instead, the distance just increased.
The scenery had completely crumbled, distorting and turning black.
The only thing visible was my younger sister.
Only my younger sister drifting away.
“…So, let’s try to meet later. In the distant future. By then, you have to bring a lot more stories.”
“I still have things I haven’t given you—”
“I know.”
My younger sister said.
“But you’ve already received enough.”
She raised her hand, revealing a small wristwatch.
“This was enough.”
My younger sister said such.
“Since you’ve received a lot, this time around, it’s my turn to give you something.”
My younger sister, waving her hand goodbye as she faded away, was smiling.
No, she also seemed to be crying.
Once again, am I going to lose this?
Even if I reached out, no matter how much I tried to chase after her, I couldn’t go back.
She was fading away too quickly, like falling from a high place.
“It was really nice to see you after so long.”
Even as her face faded far away so I could no longer hear her, my younger sister said softly.
“This time, I hope you can have fun.”
With her playful voice, I regained my senses.
*
The first thing I felt was pain.
Parts of my body were hot and glued.
“How strange.”
Nirlas said in a voice mixed with confusion.
“How could you rise from there? What could have gone wrong?”
“Nothing went wrong.”
I said.
My hand stretched out.
It hurt everywhere as if my body were on fire, but I could still move.
I might not be in a good condition right now.
Flames had engulfed my body.
It was the blue flame I had seen many times before.
It wouldn’t have ignited right away as my body absorbed it.
It was probably reigniting now as my consciousness returned.
“Koto Ne!”
A voice mixed with complicated emotions reached me.
I moved forward.
Nirlas seemed to resist, unwilling to comply.
My face. My body.
And Nirlas stretching behind me.
“Yuka! Koko!”
As I called out, Yuka stood up and ran over.
Koko got up from her position slightly behind.
She looked a bit worn out, bruised here and there.
I could ‘feel’ Nirlas trying to rise. It felt as if both of our bodies had become one—
No, they probably already were one. The fact that my consciousness moved separately was an abnormal phenomenon.
I looked up at the sky.
The distorted space was regaining its original shape one by one.
“Hahaha!”
Nirlas laughed.
“Ah, I see, that was your thinking!”
Still, it felt like Nirlas didn’t want to let go easily, still trying to head in the opposite direction, but at the same time, there was a sense of joy.
It wasn’t my joy. It was Nirlas’s joy.
“So, this was the ‘narrative!’”
Against the backdrop of Nirlas’s cheerful laughter, Yuka dashed towards me.
Right, this was the narrative.
You will die.
I had died. Twice. And it was by the being I believed in.
Thus, the world turned into such a situation.
Even after preparing so many weapons, they were frozen in time, obliterated as the space itself melted away into a dreadful future.
All of it happened because I died.
Then, if so, what would I need to obstruct the worst situation even in such circumstances?
—Think once more.
Another prediction left behind by Kudan.
To avert the calamity of the future, it said, was that pathway.
Who could that be who would reconsider their thoughts again?
I had heard that word several times.
But eventually, the future didn’t change and became the same situation as now.
…The person who needed to change their thoughts must surely be the one who could definitively resolve the current situation.
From a distance, I could see Kagami barely standing.
Was it because she saw my expression?
Even the mirror she had tightly embraced was tossed aside as she staggered towards me with a wobble.
That sight looked far too heartrending.
I struggled to hold on to my melting body.
What would Yuka see?
Wouldn’t it be too horrific?
…I felt so sorry for showing her this side of me.
I poked my chest with my hand.
And then I forcefully shifted to the side.
Nirlas’s laughter grew louder. Though it was probably painful for them too, how could they let out such derisive laughter?
A moment ago, Nirlas had been completely fine even after their neck was almost cut clean.
That was probably because the vital spots are different from what ordinary people might think.
“…!”
While I groaned in pain, I further opened my wounds.
What lay there was some kind of… ‘core.’
It looked different from a human’s heart. But it seemed to be pounding, almost as if it were circulating blood.
I wonder if the heartbeat I felt even after the merging of bodies was because of this.
It was possible because the body had become amorphous.
Yuka’s expression blurred.
She seemed to be slightly slowed down in her pace, as if shocked by my actions.
“Yuka, please.”
I said.
There wasn’t much time left that I could sustain myself.
Yes.
The person who needed to rethink was naturally someone who had never once reconsidered.
Whenever the topic of my life being at risk came up, Yuka always said, “I thought about it once more.”
Yet even so, her thoughts had never changed.
Up until now, Yuka had never once contemplated killing me.
So—
“Yuka.”
“Koto Ne…”
Yuka came to a standstill with a blank expression, as if uncertain of what I was about to say.
The sword in her hand still gleamed emptily.
“…Yuka. Please.”
I stared straight at Yuka.
“…Think about it again.”
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