—And so, this situation has come to pass.
Yuka, who burst through the door and froze in place, seemed to regain her senses and said,
“Senpai, what are you doing right now…?”
She wasn’t fully composed yet.
Yuka’s eyes darted from Kaoru’s face to Izumi’s face sitting beside her, then down to their fingers.
Both Kaoru and Izumi had their index fingers placed on a coin. Underneath that coin was a piece of paper with the fifty sounds written on it.
And above it, there was an upside-down pentagram and a circle drawn.
“Could it be—”
“No way!”
As Yuka hesitated, Kaoru snapped back immediately. Nonetheless, she didn’t remove her finger from the coin. Izumi, too, shrugged slightly but also kept her finger there.
“I think I can guess what you’re thinking, but that’s not it!”
This time, Izumi wore a slightly puzzled expression. In fact, she had also doubted whether Kaoru was trying to pull a prank by writing down the fifty sounds.
“I just wanted to ask!”
“…What?”
Yuka responded in a dumbfounded voice.
“Since we left without saying goodbye to anyone! We don’t know why! We have no idea what happened, and if we don’t ask questions, it will probably stay as a burden in our hearts for the rest of our lives…”
“…”
Listening to her words, Yuka’s face turned pale.
Her gaze was fixed on the coin.
“…Yuka?”
Izumi cautiously asked.
“Don’t you think so?”
Kaoru stated, sounding a little uncharacteristic.
“You were… close friends with Koto Ne, right?”
Upon hearing those words, Yuka slowly lifted her gaze to meet Kaoru’s eyes.
“Don’t you find it frustrating that you don’t know what happened to Koto Ne?”
Yuka stared at Kaoru silently for a while.
Izumi seemed a bit anxious. Yuka’s blank expression was somewhat scary.
What she held in her hand was unclear. The long object wrapped in thick cloth was something Yuka often carried, but she had never actually seen its contents.
Usually, she just passed it off as nothing.
But somehow, seeing Yuka like this now made it feel like it wasn’t an ordinary object.
“Yuka?”
Izumi carefully moved her lips.
“Kaoru is right. We… we’re also sad about losing Koto Ne. So…”
After a long silence, Yuka took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Then she seemed to calm her mind and closed her eyes.
Was she feeling something? After a moment, Yuka slowly opened her eyes again.
“…So, do you think it was successful?”
At Yuka’s words, Kaoru blinked.
“Uh, um… honestly, I’m not sure… Do you feel anything?”
The previous ‘success’ was something Kaoru and Izumi couldn’t feel. By the time she regained her senses, the coin had already moved. The moving coin didn’t seem to convey a significant amount of information.
“Yes.”
Yuka answered.
Thud.
The object Yuka had been holding fell to the ground. It was as if she was entranced; she dropped the item and approached the two others.
Up close, Yuka’s face looked a mess. Her skin was dull and lacked color. It looked like she was beyond just feeling unwell—she had a look that suggested she might be having health issues.
And above all, the dark circles under her eyes made it clear how exhausted she was.
Did Yuka perhaps know a little about Koto Ne?
Kaoru thought that but wasn’t ready to remove her finger from the coin.
The world Yuka and Koto Ne had come from was far removed from the ordinary world. Naturally, Kaoru had no clue that such a world existed before getting involved.
A hidden world that others didn’t know about.
…She knows Yuka isn’t a bad person. And she doesn’t dislike her.
But would Yuka give a proper answer if Kaoru asked her about it?
Seeing Yuka approach, Kaoru strengthened the grip of her finger. When Yuka placed her finger on the desk, she was sweating cold.
But Yuka merely placed her finger on the remaining space on the coin.
“…Yuka?”
When Kaoru raised her voice in surprise, Yuka said, still looking expressionless, while gazing at the coin.
“Let’s continue.”
“…Are you sure it’s okay?”
Kaoru asked. The atmosphere was different from a moment ago.
Yuka still looked extremely tired, but there was something resembling determination in her expression.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Yuka raised her head to look at Kaoru.
No emotion could be perceived in her eyes. So Kaoru was convinced that Yuka was hiding her feelings. A child who had become so gaunt from losing a friend would not suppress their emotions just because they were absent.
“Did Kaoru-senpai think it was okay to start this?”
“…That’s not exactly it,” she replied.
“I don’t think this is okay either.”
Kaoru hesitated, and Yuka’s voice slightly overlapped her.
“Bringing the dead back to this world, or trying to hear some story, usually leads to bad outcomes.”
Kaoru felt the same. It was something that almost happened in reality.
“But even so…”
Yuka’s gaze dropped down.
“Still, I want to know. What Koto Ne wanted to say…”
“…”
Kaoru stared at Yuka blankly.
“Yeah…”
Izumi quietly said.
Izumi’s gaze was also directed at the coin where the three fingers were gathered.
It was merely one coin resting on a piece of paper with letters, but—
“There’s no way Koto Ne would do something bad to us, right?”
—As if Koto Ne herself was sitting just beyond it.
“…I should mention, there’s no guarantee that the one answering will definitely be Koto Ne,” Yuka said.
“So, trusting the answers too much…”
The mood grew heavy again at Yuka’s words.
“Hmm.”
After a long period of contemplation, Kaoru exhaled softly.
“Understood. I’ll keep that in mind. Then… I’ll start.”
Kaoru swallowed dryly and looked at Yuka.
“So, it means you feel something, right?”
Yuka nodded.
“Then, that means we succeeded in summoning her, right? So…”
Kaoru spoke.
Originally, rituals tend to have many ‘reasons it can fail’ along the way. If the ritual is ‘real’, that’s to be expected. If talking with the dead was easy, the world would have a lot of issues popping up everywhere.
Conversely, even if we say it’s ‘fake’, there should be some loophole indicating it wasn’t, regardless of all the reasons something wouldn’t work.
After all, there were quite a few things that could have interrupted the situation, but seeing Yuka reply…
“If you have something to ask, feel free to ask.”
Kaoru pushed away her chaotic thoughts and spoke with a slightly trembling voice.
“Uh…”
Izumi looked as if she didn’t know what to say.
In fact, Kaoru felt the same way.
If this ritual really succeeded in connecting with the other world, and if the being on the other side is Koto Ne…
How could they throw such a harsh question like, “Tell us your sign?”
Are you okay? The person in question was already not okay. It was questionable whether they had ever been okay to begin with.
“We’re doing well.” Telling such words to a child already passed into the next life would be no different than poking fun at them.
I want to see you again. I hope Koto Ne is okay. I wish what I heard was a lie—
Thud, it felt like my heart was falling down.
The sight of Yuka having such an expression, and the fact that she was calmly agreeing in this current situation truly felt like proof that Koto Ne…
Had become that way.
Though it was a belated realization, thinking like that made my throat feel blocked.
“…”
Izumi seemed to feel the same.
As she thought about various things, sadness began to wash over her again, and tears were almost flowing from her eyes. Her lips were trembling as she maintained her posture, but it seemed that just keeping it together was overwhelming for her.
“Well then, first—”
Let’s at least confirm something.
As Kaoru was about to say that,
“…Can I say something?”
Yuka hurriedly interjected. It didn’t seem like she intended to interrupt. It was just that they ended up speaking simultaneously at a bad timing.
Kaoru and Izumi exchanged glances, then turned to Yuka.
“Uh, okay… Let’s do that…”
Kaoru barely managed to say, and Yuka nodded.
She then tightly closed her eyes before reopening them.
Taking a few deep breaths, Yuka slowly exhaled and spoke with a trembling voice.
“…I’m sorry.”
Those were the words Yuka brought forward.
“If I hadn’t been there that time…”
Kaoru held her breath.
She couldn’t move, her gaze fixed on Yuka.
Yuka continued, speaking in a trembling voice.
“If I had been holding a knife then—it’s all my fault.”
Yuka’s voice had turned noticeably tearful.
Izumi’s eyes were darting here and there. Seeming unsure how to accept the situation.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry…”
Yuka said again in a crying voice.
Those were not standard questions.
Normally, questions have their order. It requires a process, whether the other person is male, female, or present somewhere here. As Yuka mentioned earlier, if the other party lies, then that would be meaningless.
Was Yuka thinking that? Or was she perhaps thinking that she wanted to lean on someone.
Can one skip all the intermediate steps and still receive an answer?
“…”
Kaoru’s such worries seemed to be met with silence for a while, without any answers.
Kaoru didn’t know what to do. In this situation, the only person who could gauge whether things were truly going well was Yuka, yet she looked like she might collapse any moment if she weren’t supporting herself with one hand on the desk.
Yet, removing her finger from the coin was terrifying. It wasn’t that she was scared of the side effects resulting from the ritual failing. Rather, she feared not hearing any answers, not being able to get a proper reply from Koto Ne.
“…Ah!”
The one who yelled first was Izumi.
The hands of the three were moving.
To be precise, the coin was moving.
Kaoru widened her eyes. Tears that had been welling up in her eyes rolled down.
Yuka, too, stared wide-eyed at the coin.
The coin began to move slowly—
It’s okay.
It formed such a word.
Kaoru’s heart raced violently. Izumi’s eyes were wide open too. Her glasses seemed to be fogged up from tears.
“Koto Ne—”
Yuka called out in a trembling voice, but the coin didn’t stop moving.
Pulling the three fingers, the coin moved strongly as if telling them not to think like that
I’m sorry.
It formed that word.
“I’m sorry?” Yuka spoke.
“No, Koto Ne, you shouldn’t be sorry—”
It’s okay.
Once again, Koto Ne answered.
“Koto Ne!”
Kaoru shouted.
“Is that true? Are you really…!”
The coin stuttered.
For a moment, Kaoru trembled, believing Koto Ne had left her, and waited for the words to come.
I’m sorry.
Was the reply this time.
“I’m sorry…” Izumi managed to respond with a strained voice.
Yuka’s left arm trembled. It seemed that soon, her body would no longer be able to support her forward-leaning position.
Yuka.
It’s not your fault.
It’s okay.
Don’t worry.
Perhaps it was because they couldn’t hear the responses. On the other side, was Koto Ne worrying about them?
As Yuka watched the coin continuously form such words, she began to weep.
“Koto Ne, please…”
Yuka muttered.
The coin came to a sudden halt once more.
After a long period of stillness, the coin, as if raising its voice strongly, slowly yet surely ascended, letter by letter.
It’s okay.
Truly.
It’s not your fault.
It’s okay.
Is it possible that the other side can only utter such words?
But while thinking that, at the same time—
All three of them thought that the one answering would be ‘Koto Ne’.
“Koto Ne… I…”
Yuka opened her mouth as if trying to say something.
But, Yuka soon shook her head weakly.
“…Are you gone?”
Kaoru cautiously asked.
Yuka nodded slightly.
And then, as if collapsing, she knelt down.
Kneeling on the ground, with both hands gripping the desk tightly and burying her head over it, she truly looked pitiful.
Koto Ne detached her finger from the coin.
Izumi did the same.
There was no way to know the truth of the conversation shared between Yuka and Koto Ne earlier. Did Yuka do something wrong for Koto Ne to end up like that? Kaoru found it hard to imagine.
But there was one thing that was certain.
Koto Ne didn’t think of it as a mistake.
Whether Yuka would share the story or not remained uncertain.
Even so, Kaoru… well, to be honest, how she would react if Yuka told her, Kaoru herself didn’t know.
But still, she would try her best.
…Because Koto Ne did too.
Kaoru and Izumi went to Yuka, who was kneeling on the floor.
They sat down next to her and placed their hands on her shoulders.
The three stayed like that for a while, leaning on each other.
*
It’s not your fault, Yuka!
I screamed.
I didn’t know how to respond.
Truthfully, my answer probably didn’t make it through.
Kaoru, Izumi, and Yuka’s voices faded slowly, until they finally became inaudible.
Trying to get as close to that voice as possible, I closed my eyes and concentrated.
And I kept shouting with my mouth.
I’m okay! So you too…!
My throat hurt. After coughing a few times and trying to take a breath to answer again…
“I think it’s enough now.”
Kuro, sitting in front of me, said.
“You can’t hear them anymore, can you? Then, no matter how many times you shout here, it won’t reach them.”
I knew that. No, I don’t exactly know what the principle was, but I could tell that the three of them were no longer beside me…
I no longer felt as if my consciousness was connected somewhere, nor did I feel like I was moving anything with my hands.
Hunched over on a boat drifting amidst an infinite sea, I took a deep breath.
“Do you want to go back?”
“…Of course I do.”
Kuro asked in a gentle voice, but there was a slight edge to my answer.
I looked up at Kuro and said.
“Of course I want to go back.”
Meow!
Kuro made a sound and then spoke.
“Even if it’s not so positive in that world?”
“…What do you mean?”
“It’s exactly what I said.”
Kuro replied.
“Think carefully about what kind of existence your body is connected to.”
“…Can Nirlass interfere when I return with my body?”
“Well, hard to say.”
Kuro continued to throw around riddles.
The path leading to the moon in this world.
Quite some time had passed since we began heading toward Dallasrin, the harbor city, having already left Ultar.
The boat was big enough for both of us to sit, but honestly, being out in the middle of the ocean like this felt a bit scary. Well, given that I had undergone a shockingly dramatic experience, even that fear had been blown away for some time.
… Kaoru’s power seemed to be much stronger than I thought.
“Let me ask you again, what do you think about death?”
“… The heart stopping?”
“If that’s the case, you’ve already died in that world. So, if so, let’s think about it a bit more religiously. How do you think of death in this case?”
“Well, religiously, it would be the soul leaving the body.”
That’s how most religions interpret it.
As I tried to settle a bit with the flood of incoming information, Kuro continued with her narrative.
“Well then, you’re technically still alive. That’s because this is the world of dreams. You either find the path that leads you here through deep sleep or find the path to fully cross over from the real world to here. Since you didn’t bring your body, it’s obviously the former.”
“…”
I wrinkled my brows as I processed the sudden influx of information.
“So, you mean I’m still in a state of being half-dead?”
“Death is a strange concept.”
Kuro didn’t openly answer my statement but instead licked her own paw while she spoke. Was that an answer? It seemed a bit strange that sounds were coming from her mouth while her tongue was outside.
“Some say that just because the brain is dead, it doesn’t mean it’s a ‘death’. While they’re insisting that the heart is pumping and saying, ‘You’re alive,’ is that really right?”
“… You’re kind of getting on my nerves now.”
“Just like how the concept of a deity may differ from myth to myth, the meaning of death also varies according to the person. Thus, it’s a possibility that you actually haven’t died.”
“…”
“Didn’t the prophecy say? You will die as predicted by the believer. But Kudan can only make prophecies about calamities.”
I stared intently at Kuro.
“Oh, but what was the way to prevent that? Right, it was ‘think again’, wasn’t it? Hmm, I think Yuka had the same thought again. By the way, who exactly is the believer you’re talking about?”
Meow!
Kuro let out another sound.
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