The pressure that had been weighing down on my body has disappeared.
Nirlas no longer pinned me down, as if to say I could now do as I please.
But even so, I couldn’t muster any strength in my body. It wasn’t just that I was simply exhausted.
I didn’t… think. No, was it that I didn’t think?
Again, think once more.
There’s always a price to pay for power. If it wasn’t mine, but the power of another being, that price is inevitably higher.
Before borrowing that power, did I think again?
No, not even once.
I looked down at my hands.
My left arm was drenched in blood. Blood was still flowing from my wrist. The unblemished skin was pale like a corpse.
Wiggle.
Something was moving beneath my left wrist.
What I had repeatedly conjured and manipulated was now moving from within my body.
Kudan foretells an ominous prophecy. A prophecy that could bring about a terrible destruction to this world.
People believed that destruction would be a calamity descending upon the world, but is it really that simple? Perhaps it’s the ruin of those who hear that prophecy.
And I already knew how to prevent that calamity.
Think once more.
I didn’t think.
And so, this is how I ended up.
“A prophecy?”
Yuka asked.
I slowly lifted my head.
I could see mud-stained legs. A small part of my knee was scraped. I wore tight blue jeans, but they were torn, revealing the grazed wound inside. Blood was seeping out. I must have rolled on the floor earlier.
As I raised my gaze higher, I saw an arm that had been scraped on the ground, and further up, I saw a slightly scraped chin.
Yet Yuka’s eyes showed no sign of pain.
Instead, they were filled with rage.
“I…”
“Does that prophecy mean I have to kill you?”
I couldn’t respond.
“That’s strange.”
Yuka replied calmly.
Slowly, Yuka bent her wounded knee. That knee touched the ground.
Yuka knelt in front of me, meeting my gaze.
“Didn’t the prophecy say ‘brings calamity’?”
Yuka said.
“If your death is the prophecy, does that mean your death itself is the calamity? Or does your death bring forth the calamity?”
“……”
Yuka’s words left my mouth slightly agape.
“I…”
“I told you to think again. The Kudan from the other side.”
Which side is the calamity, and which side speaks of preventing calamity? The distinction isn’t clear.
But if you think about it simply, the answer becomes quite straightforward. Neither side was clear-cut, but thinking once more is generally something one might consider a ‘hint.’
“So, I will think. I won’t stab you without any thought, or without a doubt.”
Just a moment ago, Yuka seemed flustered, unsure of how to process the situation. Clinging to my hand, she desperately ran.
But why?
Why could Yuka still laugh even after hearing my words? As if the unease from earlier had evaporated with just my single statement.
“You don’t want to live, do you?”
“……Huh?”
“Sorry, but I already heard it. From someone named your mom.”
Kagami?
“I wasn’t there at the time, but you met Satori, right? I heard that you touched that body just before Satori died.”
Yuka said, looking directly into my eyes.
Power tightened in Yuka’s left hand, which gripped my shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter whether it’s a prophecy or how bad the situation is right now. What about you? Do you want to die right now?”
“……If I don’t die—”
“If you don’t die, what will happen? What happens if you die? Do you know? Are you sure?”
“……”
I… I don’t know. Nothing at all.
Yeah. Just like when I started living in this world under the name Kurosawa Kotone, I know nothing of this world.
What I knew about this world was that it was a harem story where a boy named Sasaki Sota was surrounded by cute girl characters that anyone would fall for at first glance.
In that novel, the things I learned after arriving here never appeared.
So I thought those things happened behind the background of the story.
“You don’t know, do you? You have no certainty. Then, is there any reason for you to die?”
“But the prophecy—”
“Right now, you’re still thinking. But no matter how many times you think, I can’t understand.”
Yuka said.
“Why must someone who recklessly cuts their wrist to protect people and bleeds until the very end, have to die?”
“…….”
The world was originally like that.
No matter how kind one is, even if there are people they love, even if they have many things they want to do, even if their life hasn’t bloomed yet,
Simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, people can die.
Even if there are those who want to save such people, no matter how many times one jumps into the fire to rescue others, eventually, there will be people who remain unrescued.
If there’s even a possibility of saving them by dying—
“No.”
Yuka rejected my thought.
“That’s not it.”
Yuka firmly said while looking directly at me.
“Why do you think I ran away with you when I didn’t know anything?”
Yuka asked.
“Right. I don’t want to see you die. You’re the first friend I’ve properly gotten close to. No one has slept over at my house just because we’re friends. You’re the first person who called me out just because you were scared of ghosts.”
Yuka took a deep breath.
“I believe in you.”
“……Ah…”
“No matter what power you have, or for whatever reason you were born, it doesn’t matter. The girl named Kurosawa Kotone that I know is just my friend. I also know you didn’t choose this, and it’s not your fault.”
“Yuka……”
“So stop saying you want to die. You need to solve this situation by any means necessary. It’s unacceptable to give up without even trying. What do you think?”
“……”
Something was slowly rising from the blood that had pooled on the ground. Long, stringy, creepy things.
Yuka’s eyes would surely notice them as well. But Yuka never turned her gaze that way.
“I….”
“Yeah.”
When I finally opened my mouth, Yuka nodded while smiling.
I wonder.
Right now, in this situation, what am I?
Do I want to die? Do I truly want to end this situation altogether by dying?
If not—
“Yuka, I also—”
But I couldn’t reply.
What came out of my throat was only the sound of wind.
A chilling pain emerged in my chest.
For a few seconds, time seemed to stop until I felt a ticklish sensation in my throat.
What flowed out from my mouth was probably blood.
“……Huh, Kotone?”
Yuka’s gaze finally dropped.
So did mine.
Oh.
I see.
That blood that was slowly rising.
“K-Kotone, this is, ah…”
Yuka seemed to try to pull away her hand, but it didn’t seem to work.
The hand squeezing my shoulder was Yuka’s left hand.
In her right hand, she held a knife.
It wasn’t her fault.
I was holding a knife too. In a situation like this, that was only natural. Yuka, who might find herself in situations like this much more often, could almost be said to do so instinctively.
But it was hardly normal for Yuka’s hand to be entwined with the red tentacles.
The nameless blade delved deep into my flesh.
I’ve seen something like this before. In some fantasy film, when the director told a seasoned World War II actor to ‘scream,’ the actor, who had served in the war, asked back, “How can one scream when they’ve been stabbed in the lungs?”
I felt the same.
The only sound escaping my mouth was the whisper of wind. The moment to speak with drama never arrived.
“Ah, no! No! Kotone, this is!”
As Yuka tried to shake off the tentacles, all that responded was a slicing sound.
Suddenly, blood spurted from my throat.
I held Yuka’s hand.
It’s okay.
It’s okay. After all, this was bound to happen.
It’s not your fault.
Gulp, gulp, I did my best to move my lips and speak.
Slowly, the red blade in my grasp melted away. It sprayed across the ground.
The same happened behind Yuka. The tentacles that pierced through a person slowly melted away.
From behind, I heard something bursting and tearing apart.
“Kotone! Kotone!”
Coco rushed in with a voice almost close to a scream.
“Kotone!”
As if that was the only word she knew, Coco shouted, forgetting all else.
It was only then that Yuka managed to pull her hand from the red tentacles.
Seemingly in confusion, she drew the blade from my body.
The nameless blade held no droplets of blood.
Blood streamed in torrents through the hole.
My body tilted sideways. Coco pressed her hands hard against my chest. Perhaps trying to stop the blood, but unfortunately, there was also a hole in my back.
No, it was probably impossible to stop the blood. That’s just how that knife was.
There was no pain.
My sight gradually darkened.
I placed my hand on Coco’s hand that was on my chest.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
I kept repeating those words.
I don’t know who could hear it.
*
“Ah, ahhh!”
Yuka’s scream echoed.
Coco’s face turned pale as she couldn’t utter a word.
Blood gushed up between her fingers.
I could hear the sound of people rushing in.
“……”
One of them stopped mid-run.
With a blank expression, they stared down at the fallen Kotone.
“……Huh.”
Bleeding, Kotone couldn’t even register the world around her. She simply stared into the sky with a blank expression.
“Kotone!”
Coco shouted.
The fire wasn’t extinguished yet. Even in that situation, firefighters were doing their best to spray water, but it took time to fully extinguish the fire that had spread to the wooden mansion.
Fortunately, the monsters had vanished. Ever since Kotone… ceased to move. Everything had spilled forth as blood.
“……Kurosawa?”
Someone exclaimed.
Yuka followed that voice and raised her head.
Stumbling forward, a girl with black hair approached the fallen Kotone.
But she couldn’t bring herself to kneel on the ground like Coco, as if she was scared.
“Kurosawa? What’s wrong?”
Yuka remembered her. It was a girl named Yamashita. Although they weren’t particularly close, they had spoken a few times before. Yuka even had her contact saved in her phone.
It was a bond formed through Kotone.
“…….”
I couldn’t say a word.
Yuka’s lips quivered as she turned her gaze. Her grandfather and father were rushing over.
“Yuka!”
Her father quickly ran to embrace her.
“……Ah.”
Yuka’s hand trembled. The sensation of gripping the knife just moments ago was vivid.
The feeling of the blade piercing flesh too.
Yuka had held that knife.
And because of that, Kotone…
“Ah….”
I don’t know what to do.
I couldn’t think of what to say at all. What do you do in a situation like this?
“Ahhh!”
It wasn’t a scream that I wanted to yell.
My head was in chaos. If this were a dream, I just wanted to wake up.
I had never imagined such a nightmare. That Yuka herself would stab Kotone.
My ears hurt. My throat was sore, and my chest felt incredibly heavy. No matter how many times I screamed, that heaviness wouldn’t lift.
Perhaps it wouldn’t ever lift in the future.
Yuka would never forget the face of Kotone, who desperately opened her mouth to say it’s okay, without any sound coming out.
“……It’s okay. It’s okay, Yuka.”
No, it wasn’t okay.
This shouldn’t have been Yuka’s task in the first place!
I wanted to deny everything, but when Kotone died, everything threatening those people stopped. Had Kotone truly been at the center of it all?
I wanted to deny it. If everything had been a mistake, that would have been fine. If it had just been Yuka’s fault, that would have been preferable. No matter how…it’s not like I knew how to compensate for that nor how to be forgiven.
How can it be that a person’s fate leads to a friend being stabbed and killed?
Yuka’s gaze fell down.
The ‘Mumei’ was rolling on the ground.
…A sword that isn’t of this world.
The very sword Yuka had used many times.
I had tried hard not to curse the inheritance I received from Mom. Someone had to inevitably take on that role, and if Yuka wasn’t there, then no one else could.
Still, these days, things had started to feel a bit better thanks to that. I ended up meeting friends because of it.
…
But ultimately, Yuka could not help but curse her role.
My throat hurt.
My voice was gone.
But Yuka screamed.
She had no idea what else to do.
*
“Foolish, foolish.”
I opened my eyes at those words.
No, had I been open since the beginning?
It felt like I had simply arrived here as if it had been like that from the start, similar to how it felt when I first opened my eyes in that other world.
Now that I think about it, I had already died in that world. So, dying and going somewhere else isn’t a first for me.
“Well, at least you’ve somewhat followed my words. Good job, good job.”
“What do you mean by ‘words’?”
I asked toward Kuro, who sat with her belly on the ground, swaying her tail as she answered.
“I told you to live without complex thoughts.”
“……Like a cat?”
“Meow.”
Kuro seemed to have fond memories of my question. Strangely, it looked like she was smiling. I even thought I heard a little giggle.
“……Are you mocking me?”
“No, I mean it.”
Kuro said.
“Do you have any idea what could’ve happened if you hadn’t used that power?”
“……Maybe…?”
“You were going to say it would’ve been no big deal?”
Hmph.
Kuro let out a laugh. This time it was a clear scornful sound.
“Foolish. Foolish. You always turn everything into your fault whenever something happens. So, is it your fault that your entire family is dead?”
“…….”
As I glared at Kuro, she stood up from her seat.
“Since it’s come to this, follow me.”
“……Where are we going?”
All around me was a shallow puddle. No, one could also see it as a very shallow lake. Where was it; that salt lake in some country that became so shallow after it rained that the entire surface looked like a mirror.
Well, it was also one of the stereotypes when depicting ‘the afterlife.’ It was a space easy to imagine yet strangely mystical.
Moreover, right in the middle was a door that led nowhere, which was incredibly blatant.
A door that led anywhere. It wasn’t particularly pink.
Beyond that shining silver door were shallow stairs leading upwards, connecting to it.
Kuro stood on the third step.
“So, I…”
And only when I realized what Kuro was trying to guide me to, did I start to feel a bit scared.
So… yes, this was my second time dying.
But that doesn’t mean dying is something to be feared.
Isn’t that right? I had faced those that had crossed over from the realm of the dead with Yuka back then. It wasn’t that hard to imagine why those things had wanted to leave the realm and return to that world.
Kuro, who had turned her back to me, turned around to look up at me.
“Why? Are you afraid of going to hell?”
“……”
“What did you do that makes you so scared?”
“I…”
“……”
Kuro quietly gazed up at me, unable to continue, and then spoke.
“What do you think death is?”
“Eh?”
That doesn’t mean… But, more importantly, why is she asking this?
Is she trying to say something along the lines of, as long as one is remembered, they are not truly dead?
“The heart stops, or something?”
It’s not an easy story to accept. I… have done something like that before. Maintaining people in a state where their hearts continue to beat and breathe despite being in horrific situations.
“That’s one way to look at it. Usually, it’s that way.”
Kuro spun around and slowly ascended the stairs while speaking.
“But you know, it’s a bit strange. If that were the case, you should have died already. Didn’t you have a hole in your heart?”
“Eh?”
“You, sometimes you seem a bit dumb, you know?”
Kuro glanced back at me as she spoke.
“What kind of world were you living in to think so simply?”
“……”
That annoyed me for some reason.
Just a little while ago, I had done such a despicable thing to my friend. Though it wasn’t by my will, it happened because I hadn’t informed her about the prophecy beforehand.
What about Yuka and Coco? Were they still crying?
And what about the other people I knew?
“……You said so yourself. To think simply.”
At my words, Kuro chuckled.
“That’s right, I did say that. Then you don’t need to think too complicatedly. Just recall what you’ve seen with your own eyes.”
Kuro continued up the stairs.
“You’ve seen all these strange things. And you just think that a heart stopping is what means death?”
“……”
As I sat there, my mouth agape while staring up at Kuro’s back, she turned back to me again and spoke, this time with a hint of irritation in her voice.
“Are you not coming up? If the door closes, I won’t know what will happen. You don’t have the key, right?”
Only after hearing Kuro’s words did I slowly step into the doorway.
And began ascending the shallow steps one by one.
“Good.”
Kuro’s tail swayed left and right.
“Let’s have a chat while we slowly go up. After all, we should have plenty of time to kill. Meow.”
Kuro’s voice, as she said that, sounded oddly a little excited.
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