“Wow… It looks way bigger up close!”
“When we get to the top, it’s really, super high…!”
We stopped in front of the slowly rotating Ferris wheel, waiting for a color we liked to come down.
And then, little by little, when the red cabin chosen by Rubia came down…
“Let’s go quickly!”
Rubia grabbed my hand and eagerly led me with a voice full of excitement.
“Eek… Rubia, you’re too fast…!”
I also moved my short legs as fast as I could to keep up.
“Oooh… It’s cozy. And it’s shaking more than I expected? It feels like riding a horse on a mountain path!”
“Well, it shakes because you move like that…!”
Rubia was so excited, her bottom bouncing, causing the Ferris wheel to creak- creak- with each movement.
Creak- Creak-
“Ugh… I’m getting motion sick… stop…!”
“Oh my… Ahaha… I’m sorry.”
Rubia chuckled awkwardly, fixing her messy hair while gripping my hand tighter again.
“Can I hold your hand now?”
“Umm… Y-yeah. For a moment… No, um… I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
I really didn’t know.
Looking at Rubia’s expression and vibe from earlier, with the night sky behind her… I felt like if I didn’t hold hands, she would fly away, so I grabbed it.
B-but now it feels like it shouldn’t be like this?
If I let go now, wouldn’t that be weird too…?
While I was lost in thought, Rubia gazed into the air with a strange smile and suddenly pulled my hand.
“Huh?”
“Just hold on. No one can see us.”
“Well, still…”
“It’s okay.”
Her sweet whisper slowly melted my tension.
“If it makes you uncomfortable… you can go out and tell ‘me.’ Then maybe I’ll be a little understanding? And besides, I’m the one who grabbed your hand anyway, so it’s fine.”
“Is that so…?”
While tilting my head, Rubia, having styled my messy hair, giggled as she lowered her head slightly.
“Can you fix mine too?”
“Y-you want me to fix Rubia’s hair…?”
“Yes. Even if you just roughly style it, there might be some bits that are off.”
Her adorable crown caught my eye.
Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen the top of Rubia’s head before.
It looked so tempting, I just wanted to poke it with my finger.
“It looks fine and neat even now…”
“It doesn’t count as fine. I want to look pretty always in front of Noah… hurry up.”
“Okay, I-I got it…”
Even though I hadn’t eaten anything sweet, I felt a sweetness in my mouth as I slowly reached out to fix Rubia’s hair…
Poke-
“Huh? Noah?”
“Ah, I-I’m sorry…”
I instinctively poked the top of her head…
I couldn’t help it; she was just too cute…
Feeling a sense of satisfaction from poking her head, I gently brushed through Rubia’s hair.
“Oooh…”
Her hair sparkled like it was mixed with stars, flowing in different directions and holding various tones with every touch of my fingers.
Then suddenly, tap-
“Ow…”
“Ah… I’m so sorry.”
Her tangled hair got caught on my fingers.
A bit too tightly…
I desperately used both hands to start untangling that mess.
“Even someone with hair as nice as Rubia’s gets tangled like this…”
“Yes. If hair is long, it can’t be helped… ugh… please be a bit gentler…”
“O-oh… I’m sorry.”
After a lot of careful fiddling, I finally managed to get all of Rubia’s tangled hair free.
“Wow… Nothing is catching anymore…”
Playing with Rubia’s hair flowing like silk between my fingers made me start to grin.
It was so soft… and shiny, it was just fun!
My hair didn’t flow like Rubia’s; it felt a bit more fluffy…
“Hehehe… Is it fun?”
“Ah…”
Rubia, who had been leaning awkwardly, turned her head, using one arm to brace herself against the seat.
“I-I’m sorry for being uncomfortable…”
“If it’s fun, you can keep going.”
“Mmm… I’m okay now.”
Only after shaking her head and letting go did Rubia stretch upright in her seat.
“Wow… We’ve already gone up this high.”
Just like Rubia said, the cabin we were in was nearing the top.
The scenery from the second trial I was seeing.
“This place is… super beautiful too.”
Rubia quietly mumbled, gazing at the night view spread out below like the night sky.
The sound of the Ferris wheel turning.
The sound of Rubia and my breaths.
And the faint sound of my heart.
I closed my eyes to fully feel everything melting into this atmosphere.
Then, Rubia’s soft voice reached me.
“Noah.”
“Yes?”
“Did you enjoy today?”
I did. Very much.
I had an abnormal amount of fun.
“Yes… thanks to you, Rubia.”
“Oh? Hehe.”
Rubia’s laughter, caught somewhere, echoed inside the cabin.
“Noah… without a penalty, you’re surprisingly quick.”
A deep sigh followed.
Then came her slightly sinking voice.
“When did you know?”
“I knew when Rubia asked me how my face looked.”
From that moment, my emotions sorted themselves out.
All the tangled, sticky feelings and memories settled down completely.
As if someone had just rearranged my emotions.
“…Did it make you feel bad?”
“Nope… Not at all.”
I felt grateful, not bad at all.
I just… regretted that I couldn’t face Rubia with my true emotions.
“Thank you for saying that…”
“It was fun. I was so, so happy… so it’s okay now.”
Rubia’s soft hand rested on top of mine, which was neatly placed on my knees.
“You can let go now.”
“My soul has been shattered quite a lot. Really a lot.”
“I know.”
“And… it’s going to be difficult. Just… just breaking through this trial…”
I flipped my hand over and held hers tightly.
“I’m really okay.”
I wanted to stop running away.
I wanted to face it properly.
It’s funny that I’m acting like this after receiving Rubia’s help but still.
I want to take that last step on my own.
I want to overcome it.
“The way to end the trial is—”
“To overcome the past. To carry all the weight of the past and move forward… and.”
A tremor ran through our joined hands.
“…Not leaving any regrets about the past… right?”
“Exactly…”
I felt the jolt of the Ferris wheel signaling we had reached the top.
And then, time froze.
“The trial is not over yet.”
The loneliness after Mom and Dad passed away, after being left at my relatives’ house.
The feelings that led me to contemplate suicide.
The pain of falling from the rooftop countless times.
The sensation of hanging my lifeless body after cutting my wrist.
And.
Entering the [Black Sun].
All the things ‘I’ went through.
“You can end it now and leave. Noah has done enough. I… I’m okay. You’ve given me so much, made me feel so many things… it’s really okay now.”
“Rubia.”
“…Yes.”
“Were you happy?”
A breath, strained as if squeezed out, brushed past my neck.
I didn’t know what ‘I’ and ‘Rubia’ went through.
I truly knew nothing at all.
But surely, there were many rough and tough experiences you faced compared to what I went through.
Those of you who experienced those events.
Made us know joy.
Sacrificed your bodies to give us a better tomorrow.
And yet, even at the very end, you were not happy.
And ‘we’ were saved by those ‘you.’
So you all must.
Embrace a peaceful tomorrow.
Spend days filled with laughter.
From now on, for a lifetime.
“You absolutely must be happy.”
I opened my eyes.
I pushed away the warm energy that was covering me.
The time in this nightmare world of my past began to flow again.
The Ferris wheel, which had gone up, started to fall back down.
And again.
It rose from below.
A streak of fire passing by us.
Reaching up to the sky.
“I’ll make it so.”
Bam-!
The brilliantly shining firework concealed her tears.
The sound echoing through the night sky carried away her sobs.
And what remained was.
A distorted smile and stifled laughter.
“…Noah.”
“Rubia.”
Words my dad had told me.
Words I had told Rubia.
Words ‘I’ had told ‘Rubia.’
“It’s all okay. I’ll solve everything.”
Words I had always kept in my heart.
Words that had never come true.
Words I could never forget for a lifetime.
But this time.
They must come true.
“Do you trust me?”
“But I…”
I shook my head.
“Rubia is Rubia.”
No matter what she experiences.
Even if she is no longer Rubia.
Even if she eventually becomes Lilith.
“I love you, Rubia.”
So.
“Don’t worry.”
I’ll create a new tomorrow.
A happy tomorrow.
A tomorrow we all share together.
“It’s okay to smile now.”
“Hahaha… Huhuh, heehee…”
A smile that feels the same but is different.
Rubia’s smile, having lived a different time.
Yet still, breathtakingly beautiful.
With that smile, Rubia slowly lifted my hand.
“One… I was going to put on my finger, but I guess I’ll have to give it up.”
Then she slipped a ring, tinted with her color, onto my ring finger.
“One… please give it to the ‘me’ waiting outside. No, it’d be better to put it on me.”
“Okay.”
Once again, the flames shoot up to the sky, tattooing the night sky.
Pleading not to be forgotten.
Desperately hoping to be remembered.
Screaming to be found again.
“I… really will believe.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll… expect in my own way. I’ll be super… super eager.”
Rubia embraced me.
Her soft lips.
The emotions packed with hope.
Her past soaked in sorrow.
All settled upon my lips.
“I’ll wait. I’ll keep waiting… only for you, Noah.”
The last firework was shot up.
More bright and beautiful than before.
The light that burned everything away.
Warm, cozy, and sometimes hot energy.
“And, when you find me at the end of the world…”
Illuminating the dark sky.
Wrapping around the entire world.
“Then please call my name… and tell me.”
Blooming beautifully.
“Still… that I love you.”
