A normal day.
A regular routine.
Eating rice.
Puff puff balloons.
Having dinner together.
Choosing a ring.
Watching TV.
Eating tangerines.
Then, the next day comes.
Mom goes next door.
A fire breaks out.
Everyone dies.
And.
*
Thud Thud
“Hey! Wake up! We gotta hurry while Mom’s not around!”
Again.
The same day repeats.
Eating rice.
Puff puff balloons.
Having dinner together.
Choosing a ring.
Watching TV.
Eating tangerines.
Then, the next day comes.
Mom goes next door.
A fire breaks out.
Everyone dies.
Again.
*
The same day repeats.
Eating rice.
Puff puff balloons.
Having dinner together.
Choosing a ring.
Watching TV.
Eating tangerines.
Then, the next day comes.
Mom goes next door.
A fire breaks out.
Everyone dies.
*
Eating rice.
Puff puff balloons.
Having dinner together.
Choosing a ring.
Watching TV.
Eating tangerines.
Then, the next day comes.
Mom goes next door.
A fire breaks out.
Everyone dies.
*
This time, it was different.
I left the house.
I broke off two days of homelessness in a cold park and returned home.
Everyone was burnt to death.
*
I went up to the sixth floor.
I took all the cigarettes from the man and shoved the ashtray into the trash can.
This time, it was a fire caused by a short circuit.
Everyone burnt to death.
*
I cleared out all the oil drums next door.
The gas exploded.
Everyone burnt to death.
*
I never left Mom’s side.
A fire broke out.
Dad came to find me.
He saved me first.
And.
Everyone burnt to death.
*
I pressed the fire alarm.
It didn’t go off, maybe it was broken.
A fire broke out.
Everyone burnt to death.
*
I drenched my whole body with water and went into the next house.
I immediately opened the door and found my fainted mom.
I grabbed her arms to pull her out.
Her burnt arms cracked and broke off.
Dad came.
He saved me first.
And went back to save Mom who was still alive.
Everyone burnt to death.
*
On the day of the fire, I clung to Dad and cried to keep him from going to work.
Shortly after, an emergency call came in.
I was scolded for trying to stop Dad from going.
Dad went out.
A fire broke out.
Everyone burnt to death.
*
A fire broke out.
Burnt to death.
*
When a person burns, it smells like grilled fish.
Maybe because they burn in oil.
How fascinating.
*
I learned that a spark from a short circuit wouldn’t typically kill a person.
For a moment, the muscles contract, but that’s all.
But fire ignites easily.
On dry laundry.
On oil.
On Grandma’s body.
On our mom’s body too.
*
I found out that fire extinguishers have expiration dates.
They don’t work when they’re old.
It seems like they need to be changed periodically.
But where to change them.
*
There are liquid fire extinguishers too.
If thrown like a bomb, they explode and suppress the fire.
But wouldn’t it change anything if I drew a bucket of water from the sea?
The fire on 18 barrels of waste oil couldn’t be extinguished.
*
For the first time, I heard Mom scream.
She screamed after seeing my body on fire.
Mom’s body was already burnt.
Why do I feel more pain when I am hurting?
I don’t understand.
*
Bones don’t burn well.
Thin ones burn away, but the thick ones remain shaped.
But when pressed, they crumble.
It would be hard to sift out the ash powder.
Sifting through it.
I might fit into a slightly smaller jar than others.
Yeah. It’s been like that in the past.
Mom’s isn’t even half full.
*
Without sleeping,
I didn’t lose consciousness.
I moved to the next day after the fire.
That day I remember.
Relatives, Dad’s family came to find me.
And quietly.
They started talking about life insurance.
It seems firefighters get some sort of pension too, but they clicked their tongues saying it would be hard to bring Mom’s.
Then they consoled me in a friendly tone.
Meanwhile.
I had lost my eyes.
My fingers melted into three.
One eardrum was damaged, so I couldn’t hear.
A shard of glass wedged in my knee severed a nerve, so I couldn’t walk as they fought over taking me to their homes.
I want to commit suicide,
But I can’t move, so I can’t die.
Once my arm heals, then I can die.
*
Suddenly, I returned to the first day.
A normal day.
A regular routine.
Eating rice.
Puff puff balloons.
Having dinner together.
Choosing a ring.
Watching TV.
Eating tangerines.
Then, the next day comes.
Mom goes next door.
A fire breaks out.
Everyone dies.
Miraculously, tears keep flowing.
They pour out like crazy.
Then, they suddenly stop.
I guess there are no more tears left.
*
Returning to the first day.
I decided to act the same, reviving the memories of the past.
I didn’t go out when Dad called me, saying I was sleepy.
I didn’t puff puff balloons.
I didn’t have dinner together.
I didn’t choose a ring.
Then, the next day comes,
I didn’t help Mom.
And a fire breaks out.
I delayed going out and opened the neighbor’s door.
I see Grandma throwing a tantrum before she gets buried under a falling bookshelf.
Ignoring the screams, I opened the room door.
I see Mom, who hasn’t lost consciousness.
Another burn scar has layered over the original burn scar.
Swollen blisters.
Pus oozes out from them.
Still, to avoid scaring me,
Mom suppresses her scream and kindly tells me to leave.
I grabbed Mom’s wrist.
Crack– glass shards embed into Mom’s body.
I hear her sobbing.
I want to lift her, but my body won’t cooperate.
I’m sorry, Mom.
Continuing to pull Mom along just like in the past,
The oil spilling out blocked our escape route.
Mom, covered in shards of glass,
Crawled towards me and embraced me tightly.
Then she told me it’s okay,
And that she loves me.
Dad came in.
He embraced Mom’s body.
He placed a wet towel over my face.
Through the towel, I smell grilled fish.
An unknown liquid dripped on my face.
Pieces, powder, and teeth fall off.
But there are no screams.
With a crushed voice saying it’s okay.
That he loves me.
That he will definitely save me.
Mom’s voice diminished.
Dad’s voice grew louder.
There were still no screams filled with pain.
The fire went out.
People came in.
Eventually.
Dad’s voice cut off.
I was rescued by the people.
My legs were all burnt and couldn’t be used.
My mind became like a fool.
My lungs were damaged,
And one eyeball was broken.
My right hand had three fingers left.
The left had four.
Dad’s family gathered around.
They brought up the insurance money.
They fought.
And then.
Again.
Back to the beginning.
*
Death cannot be avoided.
So I acted the same.
A fire breaks out.
I go into the next house.
While pulling Mom out,
I got embraced by her.
It felt warm.
Dad came looking for me.
I embraced him too.
It felt warm.
Thus.
Mom died first.
The fire went out.
Dad died later.
How fascinating.
How did he manage to stay alive until the end?
What did he say with his mouth gasping at the end?
*
I was pulled into some family’s house.
Trapped in a room.
Eating the food served every hour.
Feeling the soft diapers change regularly.
I gradually felt my body improving.
Finally, my arm started moving.
I hid that fact and, when the family was gone,
I crawled up to the rooftop.
Scraping my legs on the stairs, they got all bruised.
A bloody trail followed me.
But there was no pain.
Eventually, I reached the rooftop.
Fourth floor. Could I die at once?
Let’s try.
Struggling to crawl to the railing, I threw myself off.
The night wind brushed past me.
For a brief moment, I swam through the world.
Then hit the ground.
Thud.
But I didn’t die.
It hurt.
I was painfully alive.
Reluctantly, I crawled up to the rooftop again, screaming in pain.
With one arm broken, I worked hard with my remaining left arm and chin.
Thus, I arrived on the rooftop again.
I threw myself off again.
This time, I crashed into the railing on the way down.
Then hit the ground.
Ah.
But.
I’m alive again.
I crawled.
Both arms were broken.
I only crawled with my chin.
Climbing the stairs was very hard, yet I developed a technique.
Finally, I reached the rooftop.
I threw myself off.
This time, it was not to the ground, but onto a soft mattress.
An ambulance arrived.
I.
Couldn’t die.
*
After being locked up in a mental hospital,
The day came for me to be discharged.
I could feel the gazes looking at me like I was a monster.
Even on Earth.
Even in the black sun, I was still a monster.
It’s okay.
I’m used to it.
Receiving those gazes entirely, I returned home.
As time gradually passed,
I could move my arms again.
The door was firmly locked.
All I could do was
Use my phone and computer.
Thus.
I turned on the computer.
Accessed the black sun.
And advanced the story.
What I couldn’t do, the game characters could.
They weren’t like a pathetic loser like me.
Those characters could save people.
Thus.
Before subjugating the end.
*
A peaceful morning.
I hear Dad’s voice.
Ah.
No, no, no, no, no.
I ate breakfast.
I should have died instead.
I messed up.
Puff puff balloons.
According to my relatives, gentle Mom and cool Dad should be the ones alive, not a monster like me.
Having dinner with Mom.
He saved me.
Because of me.
A pathetic person like me crawled into that house.
Choosing a ring.
If I saved Mom from the beginning, she would be alive now.
Why did I survive?
The next day comes.
Why am I feeling this kind of pain?
A fire broke out.
Why?
For what?
For what purpose?
What am I even doing?
I see Mom’s blackened corpse.
Ash flakes fall from it.
The necklace around her neck feels irritating.
I see Dad’s blackened corpse embracing Mom’s.
His arms, thicker than my legs, slowly become frail branches.
The silver ring on his hand glimmers.
Voices echo in my ear.
-Open your eyes, Noah.
A voice reverberates in my head.
-Everything’s okay.
Waking my senses.
-Trust me, open your eyes.
I took a breath.
Lifted my head.
Opened my eyes.
“…Ah.”
The letters that tormented me all this time.
The sentences.
The curse.
[The target is a character in the game.]
This place isn’t real, it tells me.
Tap-
[Noah, you’re not a character in the game.]
This place isn’t where I should be.
Tap-
[Remember.]
It tells me not to forget.
[Our precious memories.]
The happy memories when we laughed together.
[The time we shared.]
The time spent sleeping while sharing heartbeats.
[The promise we made.]
The promise to protect each other for life.
[The name of the person who loves you.]
Shin Eun-ah.
My mom, who loved me unconditionally.
Park Ha-seok.
My dad, who treated me better than a biological child.
And.
“…Rubia.”
Tap-
“I finally found you.”
I turned my head.
There she was.
“Long time no see.”
With radiant silver hair.
Transparent blue eyes.
And a smile blooming like a flower.
“My Noah.”
The endlessly beautiful Rubia stood there.
