5.
This time, I wasn’t startled by the cold air.
This time, I didn’t wait for the hot water.
This time, I washed my face without getting my hair wet.
This time, I didn’t sit directly at the table.
“What’s up with you bringing water?”
Clink-clank-
“You even put ice in it?”
I brought the water first.
“Cool, right?”
“Yeah, it’s refreshing.”
And then I picked up my chopsticks and served my dad some nicely cooked potatoes and the most decent-looking meat on his bowl.
“What’s this… are we playing ‘Gimi Sang-gung’ now?”
Hehe… Yep. Gimi Sang-gung.
“Hmm, Dad doesn’t die even if he eats poison.”
“That’s right. So… I’m making you Gimi Sang-gung.”
“Hey, you little brat.”
With a stinging remark and a contrasting happy smile.
Dad shoved the things I handed him into his mouth, beaming with joy.
“Ow, it’s hot. Bye meat bar.”
Even with steam wafting up.
With a bright red face.
And an expression that says he’s burning alive.
I saw Dad working hard with his chopsticks to put potatoes and meat in my bowl, so I laughed brightly and stuffed them into my mouth as well.
The potatoes were hard.
The meat was tough.
The soup was bland.
The rice was soggy.
Ugh… it was really tasteless.
“Is it somewhat edible?”
While chewing the meat that wouldn’t break down, I nodded.
“Right? Cue laugh! Only those who can eat know! Eat a lot, my child.”
A rough hand trying to cover up his guilt and gratitude.
As I fully felt that, I forced the meat down.
Once I managed to empty my mouth, this time softer-looking meat and a perfect tofu appeared.
Dad, who always ate the ugly food while saving the pretty-looking ones for me and Mom.
Every meal, he would feed the tastiest bits to me and Mom first.
Dad, who hated moving while eating and never showed a hint of irritation or hesitation when Mom and I wanted water, would quickly get up and bring us some.
Dad, who would secretly gather pretty flowers to brag to Mom and always get scolded.
Dad, who intuitively sensed Mom’s mood and starved himself for lunch just to buy something delicious for us.
Dad, who always went to pick Mom up after work.
In February, chocolates.
In March, candies.
In May, presents.
In November, Pepero.
In December, gifts hidden in socks.
Anniversaries.
Mom’s birthday.
My birthday.
Each time, he would take a day off work to care for our family, while on his own special day, he would work harder than anyone else.
My beloved dad.
“Dad.”
“Yeah.”
“How can you do that?”
“…What sudden nonsense while eating? Is it… not good?”
“No… I mean, you treat me like your real child… but I’m not your real child.”
Taken aback, Dad placed his spoon down with a clunk-. He straightened up.
“What do you mean suddenly? Why, did someone say something? Which bastard-”
“No… it’s not like that… just, I was curious…”
Curious.
Worried.
Afraid.
Scared.
Clink- cautiously lifting his chopsticks, Dad sighed lightly and poked a well-cooked potato.
“We’re family, right?”
And then he gently placed it in my bowl with a warm smile.
“Isn’t that enough reason?”
He popped a well-cooked potato into his mouth again.
It was soft.
Hot.
I couldn’t smile.
12.
“Oh my? Noah, what are you doing here? Where’s Dad?”
“He came with me… Dad’s over there.”
“Oh really? Why is he outside instead of sitting in the car?”
“I wanted to see you quickly, Mom. Hehe…”
“What’s up with this kid?”
Mom’s hand, which was ruffling my hair, flinched.
“But… Noah, have you been crying?”
“No, no…?”
“Really?”
With a throat tightening feeling, I hardly nodded.
After looking at me with a mysterious smile for a while, Mom returned to a warm smile and took my hand.
“Oh dear, look how cold your hands are. Let’s hurry home. I’ll make you doenjang jjigae today.”
“Yay…”
Mom’s bright red hands.
Rough hands.
All cold and chapped.
But, oh, what gentle hands.
Holding that hand tightly, I walked alongside Mom.
“Have you eaten lunch?”
“Yes… Dad made it.”
“Oh really? What did he make?”
“…Doenjang jjigae.”
“Oh my.”
With a chuckle- Mom smiled.
“How was it?”
“It… it was good.”
“Hmm. Noah, moms have a superpower to detect their child’s lies.”
She flicked my mouth with her finger.
Then she spread her fingers, gently stroking my cheek.
“Oh… it… it was bad.”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Yes… the soup was bland, the potatoes were undercooked… the tofu was all crumbled, and the meat was super chewy… whimper… and the rice… it was all mushy… sigh, sob…”
“I see.”
Mom wrapped her arm around me.
The warm puffy padding released a whoosh- of air.
“When we get home, Mom will make something delicious.”
Gulp…
Nodding, I buried my face in Mom’s worn-out padding.
As my tears gradually stopped…
“By the way, what’s Dad planning this time?”
Mom’s shocking words popped out.
“Sniffle… Y-yeah?”
“Your wedding anniversary is the day after tomorrow. I’m worried what kind of trouble he’ll get into this time… Has he said anything to you, Noah?”
“Uh… aah…”
Mom’s arm gently pushed me away.
“It’s the 20th anniversary… did he blow up balloons or something?”
“No…”
“Did he buy a ring with his emergency funds from last time?”
“Uh…”
Seeing my expression, Mom mischievously smiled and placed a hot pack on my hand.
“I wonder if your dad knows my ring size.”
And then, joyfully humming, she slowly walked towards Dad’s car.
15.
After eating in the warm house.
Picking out rings with Dad without Mom knowing.
We all came out to the living room upon Dad’s request for us to eat some tangerines.
We gathered around a small table.
And while watching a bit of a tragic family documentary.
I fed tangerines to Dad, who was getting all worked up.
And also to Mom, letting out a heavy sigh.
I carefully opened my mouth.
“Dad.”
With his half-peeled tangerine being chewed, Dad swallowed the remnants.
“Yeah.”
“If… if I fall into the water with Mom… you have to save Mom first, okay?”
Dad’s eyebrows raised.
“What’s with the sudden nonsense?”
Mom’s expression also turned strange.
“I… I look like you, don’t I? I have superhuman blood. So… you should save Mom first, who’s a regular person.”
“Noah, what are you saying all of a sudden?”
“I had a scary dream yesterday. Hehe…”
I leaned in, linking arms with Mom, savoring the comforting scent.
Seeing this, Dad smiled and boldly declared.
“Not some weak superhuman like you, a real hero like me can save both.”
Then he hugged me and Mom at once, dramatically raising his voice.
“Don’t worry. I will definitely save both of you.”
“…No, Dad… you have to save Mom.”
Dad’s grip tightened.
“Dad, do you believe me?”
“Sigh… sob… No… but… sniffle, Dad has to save Mom-”
“It’s okay. Everything is okay. No matter what happens, Dad will handle it all. Our family just needs to believe in Dad.”
18.
Chop chop- I sneaked a glance at Mom skillfully slicing radish.
“Mom.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you like helping people?”
Stopping the knife with a thud, Mom looked at me.
“Why the sudden question?”
“Just… I see you preparing food for the neighbors next door.”
“Hmm…”
Once she picked up the knife again and resumed slicing, Mom wore an unreadable smile and quietly murmured.
“To be honest, I don’t really like it.”
“Then why do you do it?”
“Because they need it.”
She tossed the neatly sliced radish into the pot while pulling out large, simmering meat from the pressure cooker.
“There are people who need my little help.”
“But Mom… it’s hard for you.”
“But still, Mom is happy, right?”
Mom, wearing vinyl gloves, tore the steaming meat apart with glee, beaming.
“Every time I wake up in the morning, while working, when I finish work, when I come home to make dinner, before going to sleep, and even when I’m sick, Mom is always happy. Because of our family.”
Then she stuffed well-shredded meat into my mouth.
“It’s not local, but think of it as Australian beef. How is it? Nice and tender, right? Hehe.”
Mom, who always thought positively.
She never blindly criticized others but sought to understand the reason behind why things happen.
Mom, who always smiled despite being ridiculed and ignored because of her facial burns.
I thought she might get teased.
She even cautiously came to my school wearing a mask.
Morning, noon, night, before bed.
Four times a day, she would tell me she loved me.
Mom, who found happiness in helping others.
Someone perceptive who understood my desires.
Someone who sensed all my worries ahead of time.
Mom, who used my phone for two years but smiled, saying it was nice and that this new product was different.
Beaming, she showed her love.
My beloved mom.
“Mom.”
“Hmm? Want more?”
“…I love you.”
“…Yeah. I love you a lot too, Noah.”
Carefully avoiding touching her clothes with her vinyl gloves, Mom gently hugged me tightly.
Just a little more.
Just a little more; I want to feel this happiness.
I don’t want it to end.
“Let’s go to the neighbor’s house later, Mom.”
