I am the only one to bear the trials.
Noah shouldn’t have to face the trials.
He must not know the truth of this world.
When it all came to an end…
Before Lilith’s essence could fill my body.
The adversary dies at Noah’s hands.
Based on everything I’ve seen, heard, and felt, I’ve come to this conclusion.
I am merely a shell created to house Lilith’s essence.
I can’t escape the destiny of becoming Lilith.
I won’t be able to change that future.
I will burn this world with my own hands.
Having lost everything.
Forgetting all my past.
Even the faces of those I love.
I will become Lilith and enter ‘Paradise’.
I had to blind Noah’s eyes.
He needed to be distanced from the truth of the world.
Sacrificing was something I could handle alone.
It’ll be painful when I pierce my heart.
But afterward, a happy world awaits.
Friends who cherish her remain.
In the distant future,
If a world remains where she can smile happily, my life is not a waste.
So,
I must die.
It has to be.
No matter what, it has to be.
But…
Why,
Why is it
Not me,
But you who faced the trials?
“Rubia… what… what’s happening now?”
I heard Ser’s trembling voice.
“Answer me. Why is the temple collapsing, and you are still here?”
“Noah… Noah has the same plan as me…”
“Are you saying that Noah was thinking and planning the same way as us…?”
Clink- clink- The two bracelets tightening my arms clinked, resembling a person’s figure.
[…Sigh.]
“Ca… Cartia, what on earth is going on? Why did Noah go to face the trials—”
[That guy Noah. He already knew everything.]
“What…? Knew what?”
[Rubia, that you must die at Noah’s hands. He knew that already.]
I can’t understand.
If he knew I was going to die, I could kinda understand.
According to the legends that come to this world, a shaman must die without exception.
But…
To think he knew I had to die by Noah’s hands.
That makes no sense.
Noah doesn’t know the truth of this world.
He doesn’t know what his existence plays a role in.
But.
“How… how did he…”
[Well… I don’t know either. I just knew. Damn. I thought he’d be a total fool, stumbling through his words as always. Such an arrogant little brat.]
Cartia sunk down, brushing her hair back as she spoke.
[If you’re curious about Noah’s condition… just try that collar. He wore it when he left, right?]
“Ah…”
I closed my eyes, reminiscing about Noah’s presence.
Then,
Threads of emotion rose from my hands, catching onto me.
Noah’s feelings
Felt in my heart—
I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead! I should have died instead!
According to the
people,
I should have.
Instead.
Have died.
Right?
*
Then.
Right now, just
die.
Stupid bastard.
*
A woman who grew up alone in an orphanage without parents.
For her living,
For her dreams,
She gave up everything to build a foundation and save money.
In the year she turned twenty-three,
She was raped on her way home from work.
She became pregnant against her will.
The criminal who dragged her into hell faced the law,
Yet the woman could not escape from her own hell.
She resented the neighbors who didn’t come to save her when they heard her screams.
She hated the world that did not extend a helping hand.
The strange glances shot her way.
The horrific rumors that spread about her.
It was all disgusting.
She wanted to fix the past.
She wanted to erase the traces of rape.
She wanted to erase the child in her womb.
She wanted to end her life.
She could not turn back to the past.
She couldn’t erase the curse deeply engraved in her heart.
She couldn’t kill the living child inside herself alone.
But if she were to die together,
It would be some comfort to that little life.
Thus, she resolved to commit suicide.
In a place where no one else was.
In an abandoned warehouse.
In the place where her parents had abandoned her.
Quietly holding her breath.
Apologizing to the child in her womb.
Hoping someone would extend a hand to her.
Desperately wishing for someone to save her from this hell.
She lit a fire.
Then,
She met a man.
A man who was a firefighter.
A man who, despite being able to curse, hit, and hate, ended up apologizing first.
In spring, he would climb the mountain to gather unknown herbs, saying how delicious they were.
In summer, he’d bring a chicken to make samgyetang.
In autumn, he would roast chestnuts himself.
In winter, he would peel tangerines one by one and feed them to her.
That kind of man.
A man who even cherished the horrifying scars of his burns.
He was a big guy, yet he cried louder than anyone when watching a sad movie.
Every Christmas, if he didn’t donate to the Salvation Army, he acted like he was going to throw a fit.
A man who feared that if he roughly touched a small puppy, its legs would break.
A man who took pride in his scars.
A man who genuinely found joy in saving people.
He helped her forget her fear of men.
He erased her hatred towards others.
He made sure she wouldn’t have nightmares.
He freed her from hell.
Ultimately, he helped her love the child growing inside her.
A hero.
So when the new spring came,
A new life came to them both.
His name is Shin Noah.
Even if others treated him as a fool, he finally created an ark to save people, like some figures.
Like the man who saved the dying woman.
His name means to be a hero who saves others.
*
“Hey, wake up!”
Tap- Tap-
It was just another typical morning.
I felt familiar movements shaking my shoulders.
“Quickly, you have to do it while Mom is out!”
Tap- Tap-
“Ugh… What do you mean…?”
“Hey, seriously… Did you forget already? It’s Mom and Dad’s anniversary in two days.”
Ah, right.
I forced my groggy mind to wake up and sat up.
Then,
“Aha, who do you take after, drooling in your sleep like that!”
With a playful grin,
“Looks like I take after Dad…”
Dad appeared.
“Hey! I don’t drool like you!”
Chuckle- The familiar sound of laughter echoed.
“Go wash up and eat breakfast. Hurry up and come out.”
He ruffled my messy hair and left the room.
Why does he have to mess my hair up like that…
While hurriedly fixing my tousled long hair, I jumped off the bed.
But… something feels odd.
What is it?
Maybe I’m still a bit drowsy…?
“Mmm… something… something’s not right… Huh…?”
Quick! Get out and wash up!
“…Yes.”
I quickly tidied my hair and turned the loose doorknob.
Creak-
The sound of old hinges creaking open.
And the familiar scent.
“Hmm, is that fermented soybean stew?”
“Yep. Dad’s special 된찌다. I threw in brisket without Mom knowing. Let’s eat quickly before she comes back.”
“O… brisket… Got it.”
I sped up my footsteps and dashed to the bathroom, opening the door.
Then, whoosh- the cold air rushed past my body.
“Ugh… Coooold! Dad! Can you close the window, please?”
“If I close the bathroom window, mold will grow. Just bear it!”
Tsk I clicked my tongue, clumsily walked to the bathroom, and turned on the faucet.
For a moment, I sat on the toilet waiting for warm water to come out.
When the steam began to rise, I quickly stood up and turned the faucet slightly to the right.
Then, I gingerly placed my hands in… Mmm! Perfect temperature.
Immediately, I scooped some water into my hands and splashed it onto my face.
“Ugh!”
Again.
“Ugh!”
As I repeated this several times, something damp splattered my pajamas.
“…Is that hair?”
My hair got soaked from the dripping water.
Why did I not manage my hair while washing my face?
“Mmm… something feels off…”
Leaving my uneasy feeling behind, I roughly dried my face with a towel and stepped out of the bathroom.
“Whew, hot.”
Then I saw Dad, who was already eating.
“Ah! I should eat with you…!”
I tossed the towel into the basket and dashed to sit at the table.
“Whew… Hey, seriously. This is great!”
Then, with a face that looked like it was burning, Dad swirled his chopsticks and piled on huge pieces of tofu, potatoes, and meat into my bowl.
“Thank you for the meal!”
Then I grabbed the steaming potatoes and blew on them before shoving them into my mouth.
“Yow! Ho, hot! Hu, hu!!”
“Hey! You gotta talk before you eat, alright?!”
“Faster, faster! Hu!”
As if there was no choice, Dad swallowed the tofu in his mouth and hurriedly fetched the teapot.
Then, he poured barley tea into a cup next to him.
“Hey, if it’s too hot, you should spit it out! How can you keep putting it in your mouth?”
I gulped the lukewarm barley tea while shivering.
“But Dad, you were eating it hot too… Ah, I burned my tongue…”
“Yeah, but I’m different. I’m a firefighter, and I’m tough. You shouldn’t do that; you’re weak.”
“But firefighters are still people… We’re all the same, right?”
“Hey, I always tell you. I’m not just an ordinary firefighter, okay? I’m in the same league as Captain America!”
“Uh… I guess the size is similar.”
With a giggle, I got up from my seat.
“What? Where are you going? Is it not tasty?”
“No. My hair is bothering me, so I’m going to grab a hair tie.”
“I thought you were getting up because it wasn’t tasty.”
“It’s super delicious.”
I flashed a smile and hurried into the room.
As I opened the door, the first thing that caught my eye was
my reflection in the full-length mirror I bought from the secondhand store not long ago.
Fair skin.
Messy long hair down to my waist.
A small height that doesn’t look like it’s over 140 cm.
Soft-looking limbs.
Innocent-looking eyes.
Red pupils.
“Hmm…”
Is this what I looked like?
