“…What…?”
I blinked my eyes in confusion.
What just happened?
The shelves had collapsed, filling the study with dust.
It was a complete mess, unrecognizable from its previously tidy appearance.
…Did I do this?
I had only bumped it slightly…?
No.
Something must be wrong.
There was no way a shelf that looked to be about three times my size could fall so easily.
“F…first, let me clean up…”
“What was that noise..! Oh my goodness!!”
Hearing the loud crash, a few maids rushed into the study in a panic.
They were startled upon seeing the chaotic state of the room, then quickly turned their attention to me.
“….Miss..?”
Waving my hands dismissively at their incredulous expressions, I hurriedly said,
“I didn’t do it..!! I just barely touched it, and it fell over by itself!”
“…Huh?”
“I just barely bumped it while trying to take out a book and the shelf…”
“…..”
“Ah… I only nudged it a little…”
As they listened to my explanation, their expressions gradually sank.
With pitying looks, my voice lost all confidence.
“Uh… so…”
They exchanged glances silently and approached me with wry smiles on their faces.
“It’s okay, Miss. We’ll take care of it. Are you hurt anywhere?”
“I… I really didn’t do it…?”
I pressed my case again, but their expressions remained unchanged.
I knew it.
Unless the shelf had some bizarre self-destructive ability, I was the only person here.
It clearly seemed like it was my fault.
From their perspective, I must have looked like I was making pathetic excuses.
Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes, but I couldn’t say anything more.
There was no evidence to prove I hadn’t done it.
As if trying to be considerate of me, one of the maids looked at me warmly and said,
“Really, it’s okay, Miss. I’m glad you’re not hurt.”
“…..”
“We need to clean this up, so could you please step outside for a moment?”
“…..Yeah.”
In the end, I trudged out of the study at her request.
Tsk-
I thought the sound I heard over my shoulder was nothing more than my imagination.
“Miss, I’m so sorry… I got caught by the head maid on my way back…”
“….”
Ultimately, there was no choice but to crawl back into bed and hide.
Finding me in this state was Alina.
She told me she lost track of time after getting caught by Roselin while searching for a ladder.
Not wanting to blame her, I buried my face deep into the pillow, giving off an atmosphere that I didn’t want to talk anymore.
“Miss… cheer up, okay?”
“Just go away… I don’t want to do anything today…”
“But, Miss…”
“Leave me alone!”
I regretted raising my voice at her in that moment, but there was no retracting my words now.
“…Then just rest for today. I’ll come again tomorrow.”
With a sympathetic look, Alina pulled the blanket up over me and quietly left the room.
“…How pathetic.”
I hated being harsh to Alina.
It wasn’t her fault.
I felt a wave of self-loathing for grumbling at her out of some misplaced desire to blame someone.
Had I always been this pathetic?
I didn’t think I was like this before.
Somewhere along the way, my self-esteem had plummeted.
When I was with Lily and Dania, I had always lived with a positive mindset.
Yet now, all that occupied my head were tormenting thoughts.
‘I’ll apologize again tomorrow.’
I would apologize to Alina for being cold and rude.
I also shouldn’t have left the maids to deal with the mess alone.
I should have dealt with the mess myself, but I panicked and just ran away.
I decided I would go to them tomorrow and ask for forgiveness.
“…I’m tired…”
As my eyelids grew heavier, I gently slipped into sleep.
Vowing to live energetically again from tomorrow.
*
“Hera, I think you might be a bit clumsy.”
Thud-
My heart raced.
“Right? Last time she cleaned the room, it was a mess. It was tough to restore it.”
Thud thud-
My heart trembled along with my body.
“If she wasn’t someone the Master cared for, I would have said something.”
“But hey, she is really pretty. Every time I see her, it brightens my mood.”
“If she would just sit still, that would be nice.”
Ha-ha-ha- Their laughter floated over the door.
I quickly covered my shaky breath with both hands, trying to hide my presence as I stood up to go apologize to the maids in their break room.
Just as I was about to open the door— I caught their chatter on the other side.
Their light conversation struck me like a knife, causing me intense pain.
In the end, I had no choice but to step back and run away.
Pat-pat-
I ran like dizzy.
I thought I vaguely heard someone calling me, but I ignored it and dashed into my room.
– I think she might be a bit clumsy…- – Last time she cleaned the room, it was a mess…- – If she would just sit still…-
Even as I ran, their words echoed in my mind.
I didn’t want to face anyone.
I wanted to be alone.
“Haah… huff…”
How long had I run?
When I finally caught my breath, I arrived in front of my room.
My room.
The only place where I could breathe comfortably.
But as I opened the shaking doorknob, contrary to my wish, Alina was in there waiting for me.
“Oh, Miss! You’re back! Where have you been?”
She approached me with a bright smile.
“Miss… are you okay? You don’t look well. Do you have a fever?”
“St… stay away!”
As she reached out to touch my forehead, I unintentionally pushed her away.
“Eeek?”
Crash- Alina stumbled back, letting out a short scream.
Her bewildered gaze made my body flinch.
What have I done?
Instead of apologizing, I had hurt her.
“…I-I’m sorry!! Are you okay?!”
I hurriedly approached her, reaching out my hand.
She looked at me for a moment, then sighed and took my hand.
“Haa… Why are you acting like this lately, Miss?”
“I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean to…”
She brushed herself off and again put a smile on her face.
“Let’s go get some fresh air.”
Hand in hand, we stepped out into the mansion’s garden.
A variety of colorful flowers adorned the garden, creating a vibrant display.
With each step, a refreshing breeze brushed against my face.
“Isn’t it beautiful? It’s been well taken care of.”
“…Yeah… it is.”
She treated me kindly as though nothing happened.
‘..I feel so foolish.’
To receive such consideration from someone younger than me felt belittling.
I had promised myself to think positively.
Surely, the things they said about me weren’t said with bad intentions.
It was just unfortunate timing that I overheard them.
I began to wipe the negative thoughts from my mind, knowing there were issues I had caused.
It’s alright.
I simply needed to make it right from now on.
I would sincerely apologize to them and seek their forgiveness.
With this positive mindset, the flowers around me seemed to bloom even brighter.
As if they were wrapping me in a warm embrace of encouragement.
I clenched my fists, stopping in my tracks.
“Alina. I’m sorry.”
“Yes?”
She stopped as well.
“I’m really sorry for being cold yesterday and for pushing you today. I let my emotions get the better of me…”
Alina looked at me blankly for a moment.
Not stopping, I continued to express my thoughts.
“And yet, you still treat me so kindly, I really appreciate it. I’ll try to be helpful around here from now on.”
“….”
Was it just my imagination?
I thought for a moment I saw her expression cloud over.
But when I looked again, she was just smiling.
A moment of silence passed before she finally replied.
“That’s very admirable, Miss.”
A positive response.
It felt like a stream of hope began to color my devastated heart.
I realized it was indeed the right thing to do to apologize sincerely.
“But, if possible, I think it would be more helpful if you didn’t do anything.”
“What?!”
“You’re someone the Master brought here, so of course, we should treat you kindly. If not, we wouldn’t even care.”
“Uh… no…”
“While we’re grateful for your willingness to help us, to be honest, you’re not really good at this kind of work, are you?”
It would be much easier for us if you just stayed still!
Thud-
Suddenly, my legs gave out, causing me to kneel on the hard floor.
Blood started to ooze from my white knees, but it barely registered in my mind.
“Miss? Are you okay?”
Concerned, Alina rushed toward me.
My insides twisted painfully.
Her worry turned into a cheap pity, and her previously cheerful smile now seemed like a mocking grin.
I began to hear their voices again.
– I think she might be a bit clumsy…- – Last time she cleaned the room, it was a mess…- – If she would just sit still…-
“Ah… no… I… I can be helpful…”
Really?
Is that really possible?
Could I, who caused so many accidents, be helpful to them?
Perhaps, as Alina said, it would be better if I did nothing at all?
My breathing grew ragged, my body began to tremble.
“I’m… I’m not a help…”
“Miss.”
She gently wrapped her hand around my violently trembling one.
“Al…Alina…”
When I looked up at her, her smile still seemed genuinely kind.
“But you did well to apologize. I was really touched.”
“…..”
“Since you’ve decided to apologize, let’s go find those ladies! They’ll definitely accept you.”
“Th… those ladies?”
“Since we’re nearby, we can see them quickly, so follow me!”
I was pulled along like a doll with no strength, unable to resist her.
But was it a cruel trick of the gods?
“Well, I clearly told you I hoped you wouldn’t come back.”
A man looked down at me.
Dressed in golden-tinged armor, this man was someone I had seen before.
“You’ve come to apologize, have you… are you doing this on purpose?”
“Hah… listen carefully, Miss.”
“Dylan retired from the knight’s order due to aftereffects from his injuries. You’ll never see him again.”
“Therefore, your apology won’t be accepted. Now, please go back.”
Just like that.
The last rope holding my sanity snapped.
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