Chapter: 192
Was that “I’m okay” really that desperate?
It took quite a while for Scarlet, whose tears had burst forth, to calm down.
Watching her wipe away her reddened eyes, Sylvia couldn’t help but feel a slight curiosity.
This incident was likely because of the witch who had become her maternal figure.
While she had never shown signs of it before, Sylvia wondered if perhaps Scarlet had been suffering from it all along.
Taking advantage of the lull as Scarlet began to regain her composure, Sylvia cautiously asked,
“Excuse me, Scarlet. May I ask you something… is this the first time you’ve had such symptoms?”
“What symptoms are you talking about?”
“The kind where you lose your mind like today, that kind of symptom. Have you ever experienced something like this aside from today…?”
The moment Sylvia noticed Scarlet slightly avert her gaze at that question, she could guess that Scarlet had been hiding something from her all along.
And whether her guess was correct or not, Scarlet hesitated for a moment before speaking up.
“…To be honest, there have been similar symptoms. I’ve heard voices in my head urging me to burn things without reason, and sometimes I’d suddenly have thoughts that felt like they weren’t mine. If we include those, then it’s not the first time.”
“…So, this has been going on for a while?”
Seeing her slowly nod, Sylvia swallowed hard.
It wasn’t just because Scarlet had been keeping this from her; it was the guilt of realizing that she hadn’t noticed anything wrong.
“…So, have you been struggling a lot with that?”
In response to her question about how she had been doing, Scarlet merely gave a bitter little smile.
At that moment, Sylvia realized how stupid her question had been.
Had it been tough? Of course, it must have been tough.
She imagined it for a moment.
Hearing voices at all times, and having unsolicited thoughts creep in that didn’t belong to her.
Even though she had never experienced it herself, it was frightening just to imagine.
Had Scarlet been fighting the fear of being consumed by the witch all along?
Yet, she hadn’t picked up on anything.
Not even when Scarlet stayed with her at the mansion.
Even when she whined for Scarlet to pet her head, while claiming she was busy and stressed, she hadn’t realized that Scarlet was suffering far more than she was.
That fact made her feel unbearably ashamed and guilty, emotions welling up inside her.
How on earth was she supposed to apologize for this?
Overwhelmed with guilt, Sylvia bowed her head and blurted out the first apology that came to her.
“…I’m sorry. I had no idea. I didn’t know you were struggling with such things, Scarlet. I didn’t even notice when I would whine about my own troubles while we were living together at the mansion…”
Not only that, but the fact that the reason she was undergoing such hardships could be traced back to Astra only made her guiltier.
Sylvia felt the guilt that had been pricking at her heart grow even larger.
However, Scarlet gently patted her head, as if to say not to apologize.
“You don’t have to apologize to me. I’ve managed fine until now, so I didn’t think it was necessary to show it.”
“Then…”
She said she was alright, but Sylvia could discern the hidden meaning in her words.
“Then today, you mean it was so tough that it was hard to hide it.”
At that remark, Sylvia caught a glimpse of surprise on Scarlet’s face as she gasped.
She remembered how Scarlet had been sobbing in her arms just moments earlier.
Even with everything she had been going through, the fact that Scarlet had burst into tears like that spoke volumes about how difficult it must have been.
Realizing how sorrowful that was, Sylvia couldn’t help but feel tears stinging at her own eyes, but she quickly bit her lip to hold it back.
Crying wouldn’t change anything.
She needed to find a way to prevent such things from happening to her.
Determined, she asked Scarlet.
“…So we need to figure out measures to ensure that something like today never happens again. Scarlet, do you have any idea what might have caused it today?”
After a moment’s contemplation, she replied.
“…I’m not really sure. It was the first time I completely lost my mind and acted like this today. But if I had to guess, it might have been because I lost my miasma while coming back after stepping outside the barrier…”
Sylvia had no choice but to tilt her head at her answer.
If that were the only reason, it wouldn’t make sense, as Scarlet had gone outside the barrier before.
She immediately recalled two occasions: once when she had been kidnapped by Sator and another when she was captured by the witch.
Oddly enough, both incidents were linked to Astra, leaving her feeling perplexed. But anyway, that wasn’t the important issue at hand.
The prospect of another incident like today’s occurring sent Sylvia asking Yoon Si-woo.
“There might be something Scarlet is unaware of as a cause. Do you have any insights, Yoon Si-woo? Since you’re living in the same house with her.”
As they lived together, he might know something.
This thought led her to ask, but he hesitated before speaking up.
“…There is something I might suspect.”
Had this been something he had kept from Scarlet?
The moment Yoon Si-woo said he had a hunch, a gaze fell upon him from Scarlet, who seemed eager for details.
He continued softly, revealing that he had a conversation with the witch that had occupied Scarlet’s body a few days ago.
The incident could mean that she had become even closer to that witch than before, and despite the shock, Sylvia nodded along inwardly in agreement.
However, before they could think of how to address the matter based on that assumption, Scarlet’s voice echoed through the room.
“…Why didn’t you tell me that?”
Her tone was filled with feelings of betrayal as she questioned Yoon Si-woo.
“Of all people… if something happened, you should have at least told me!”
From the simmering anger emanating from Scarlet, Sylvia realized that there was something between them that was absent in her own relationship with Scarlet.
The mere fact that they had kept secrets from each other showed how stripped of transparency their relationship was.
Lost in thoughts about that, Scarlet’s trembling voice suddenly broke through.
“…Why did you hide that from me? Why, why didn’t you tell me?”
Yoon Si-woo’s expression crumpled as he replied,
“…If you had known there was such an incident, you would have struggled, Scarlet.”
Speechless, Scarlet stopped in her tracks as Yoon Si-woo continued.
“…With everything else going on, it would be obvious to you how terrified you might be hearing that a witch had taken possession of you, even for a moment. So I hid it to ease your burden, but… I see now that was wrong. I’m sorry…”
Sylvia felt a pang of exclusion at the realization that Yoon Si-woo had known about Scarlet’s struggles all this time while she had been oblivious.
Had he reached out to him for help while keeping it a secret from her?
But before Sylvia could voice her disappointment, she saw Scarlet suddenly apologize to Yoon Si-woo.
“Ah… no. I’m sorry… I’m the one who should apologize…”
While straightforwardly apologizing would have been heartwarming in a different context, it wasn’t quite the case this time.
“I’m sorry for getting mad when I didn’t know anything… I’m sorry for shouting… I’m really sorry… I’m sorry…”
Scarlet’s voice trembled as she apologized.
After everything that had happened today, her self-esteem had plummeted.
But perhaps shouting at Yoon Si-woo was the trigger, for her voice resonated with intense self-loathing.
As drops of tears streamed down to the floor at her feet, Sylvia instinctively felt her heart racing.
Scarlet began to breathe heavily.
Realizing that leaving her be might worsen her condition, Sylvia felt panic rise.
Fearing that the power of the spirit, which countered the miasma, could have negative effects on her, she cast aside those worries and focused on calming the situation.
Gently placing her hand on her head, she activated the mental stabilization spell.
“…Scarlet?”
As she called her name, Scarlet turned her blank gaze towards her.
“It’s a mental stabilization spell… I was concerned that the spirit’s power might negatively affect you, but you looked really unwell just now… Are you okay?”
She nodded slowly before bowing her head to express her gratitude.
“…Thank you. I think I feel better now. And if it’s not too much trouble, could you stay like this a little longer?”
“Ah, yes! Of course!”
At her earnest request, Sylvia nodded with a bright smile.
It seemed her spell had helped her, and as she reveled in that joy, she noticed Scarlet chatting with Yoon Si-woo.
“Thank you for your concern. If I had heard that, I think today would have been even harder.”
“Ah… no, not at all.”
“Anyway, that was done with you in mind. Thank you.”
“…Yeah.”
The two, who had been immersed in a serious atmosphere just moments before, were now exchanging giggles.
…What’s this? They’re leaving me out and laughing together.
Feeling slightly miffed at the sight, Sylvia directed her attention towards Yoon Si-woo.
“…Yoon Si-woo, what’s so funny? You did something really wrong.”
Don’t forget, I was the one who helped Scarlet.
Sylvia crossed her arms and glared at Yoon Si-woo, as if to show her displeasure.
After all, he had indeed made a mistake.
Hadn’t they agreed that if something happened to Scarlet, they would discuss it together?
Yet here he was, keeping secrets from her while having knowledge of Scarlet’s situation.
Grumbling slightly, she said,
“If this was something that happened, you should have at least informed me, not just Scarlet. We agreed to consult about her. You’re guilty.”
“Ah, well, that’s…”
Seeing Yoon Si-woo’s unease made Scarlet giggle beside him.
As for herself, she couldn’t help but express her own disappointments too.
“…Scarlet, you’re not off the hook either. I noticed you seem to know all sorts of things about Yoon Si-woo, but why didn’t you mention a word to me? Am I that untrustworthy?”
To be honest, she was feeling pretty hurt.
A lot.
It wasn’t as if she would have been oblivious if nobody had mentioned something to her, especially since Yoon Si-woo had obtained some information while keeping her in the dark.
Okay, you didn’t say a word to me, huh?
Sensing Sylvia’s disappointment, Scarlet immediately shook her head.
“I didn’t distrust you or anything like that.”
“Then what is it? Even when I come close, you’re drawing lines; when I try to help, you refuse. I’d like to hear it properly.”
She genuinely wanted to understand.
Chuckling awkwardly, Scarlet finally replied, “I… have a lot of issues, like what you saw today. I’ve thought that if you got closer, you might struggle more later. Because you have such a gentle heart, I thought being close might hurt you more.”
“…So that means you deliberately tried to keep your distance?”
Her bitter smile suggested that she believed she was considering Sylvia’s feelings.
But it sparked a thought in Sylvia’s mind.
“…Do you know what, Scarlet? That’s extremely selfish of you.”
“Selfish…?”
“Yes. You’re so concerned about others that you fail to consider how they might feel. You’re being immensely selfish.”
She believed Scarlet had a personality that prioritized others over herself.
But a one-sided kindness that fails to consider the emotions of others is mere arrogance.
“…You mentioned that being close to you would cause me more pain, right? That’s true. If something were to happen to you, I would definitely be incredibly hurt. I might cry for days.”
“Well…”
“But.”
That was where Sylvia drew the line.
“But one thing is certain. If I were to stay idle while you suffer, it would cause me even more pain in a much larger way.”
Sylvia genuinely wanted to help Scarlet, even if it meant facing hardship herself.
In fact, she realized that not being able to help would be far more difficult for her.
But Scarlet, being her overly kind self, would probably keep pushing her away if left unchecked.
Thus, Sylvia declared with determination.
“So from now on, I’m going to be a bit selfish too.”
From now on, she would act just as selfishly as Scarlet had.
“…Selfishness, you say?”
“That means even if you try to refuse my help, I’ll help you anyway. This is a threat. Got it? If you don’t want to see me crying like a baby, you’d better lean on me a little more.”
What could be a more effective threat than acting like she’d burst into tears against Scarlet’s kind disposition?
Wrapping up her declaration, Scarlet nodded, seemingly resigned to her fate, and Sylvia smiled brightly at her.
After all, she needed to be a little selfish to get what she wanted.
Now that she had received that permission, she was determined to show Scarlet just how much of a help she could be.
Soon, Scarlet would realize just how indispensable she was.
As she thought about this, she was just about to pull her hand away when she felt a gentle grip on her wrist as Scarlet placed her hand back on her head.
Feeling a little flustered, she looked at Scarlet, who was blushing and babbling.
“Ah… no, it’s just that as I thought the spell was over, I felt a bit regretful— Sorry!”
“Wow…”
Those were the sweetest words Sylvia could hear.
Scarlet had never needed her help before.
A smile broke out involuntarily on her lips.
Maybe she was incredibly simple-minded because a single phrase could bring her such joy.
“Wow, so you felt regret? I see. Since you had a tough time today, you need my spell, right? Ah, well. I suppose there’s no avoiding it when it comes to helping you.”
So, it was only reasonable that she wouldn’t let such a happy occurrence pass her by without addressing it.
With that in mind, Sylvia immediately pulled out her phone and called her servant, Sebastian, unceremoniously announcing her plan.
“Hey, Sebastian, it’s me. Something really important came up today, so I think I’ll have to stay over at a friend’s house. It’s a really important matter, so please keep my schedule clear until the afternoon tomorrow. Bye!”
[Wait, Miss?! Miss?! Is that friend a male?!]
Sebastian’s flustered outcry echoed through, but Sylvia just shrugged it off.
Now that she thought about it, she recalled Sebastian saying something interesting a while back.
He mentioned that with so many recent disturbing events, it seemed young heroes were starting to adopt a mindset of enjoying life to the fullest before it was too late.
Though she had asked him to refrain from such antics until they were adults, she would properly explain and apologize later.
There was a chance she might catch some heat from the family elders, but Sylvia didn’t care much about that.
She figured it would just result in a bit of scolding at most.
Now that she knew the significance of being the only one who had contracted with a spirit in the Astra family, she felt safe knowing they wouldn’t completely cast her aside.
That gave her the confidence to say that she would act on her own terms from now on regarding Scarlet.
Determined to break free from the mold, Sylvia smiled at Scarlet.
“Alright, Scarlet. There’s no need to feel regret anymore! We have plenty of time to work spells together tonight, so let’s sleep over like old times!”
“Um… sleep over?”
Yoon Si-woo, who had been listening from the side, asked in disbelief, and she smirked at him.
“Are you jealous that I’m spending the night with Scarlet?”
“Wha—jealous?! No way!”
“Yes, yes, of course you would say that. Anyway, Scarlet, if you need spells, just tell me. I’ll keep you company all night!”
This was Sylvia’s way of getting slight revenge for being sidelined.
*
“Well then, goodnight, Sylvia.”
“Goodnight, Scarlet.”
As they lay down together, just as she promised, Sylvia cast the mental stabilization spell on her until she fell asleep.
“…I’m so happy. That Scarlet is relying on me like this.”
As she murmured this and patted her head, Scarlet, who had been tossing and turning in some agitation, soon fell into a deep slumber, emitting soft breathing noises.
Once Sylvia confirmed that Scarled was fast asleep, her smile became a little strained.
The guilt she had been hiding slowly started leaking out more and more.
She didn’t want Scarlet to feel like she owed her anything; she had done her best to keep her emotions off her face.
But in truth, she was relieved that Scarlet relied on her like this.
Her ability to guide her toward helping her eased some of the overwhelming guilt she felt.
She didn’t expect forgiveness.
All she wanted was to make an effort to repay that debt, even if just a little.
So if she ever needed help, she’d always be there to lend a hand.
With everything she could muster, she’d help her.
As her precious friend and as one who’s been wronged by their transgressions.
As she murmured this, Sylvia continued to stroke Scarlet’s hair until she too fell asleep.
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