Chapter: 189
In front of me, Yoon Si-woo was bowing his head, apologizing for his mistake.
However, as I watched, I knew the truth.
Who was really at fault here?
Was it Yoon Si-woo standing right there?
No way.
The one at fault was me.
None other than me; I was the one who was completely in the wrong.
So, thinking that I was the one who needed to apologize, I hastily bowed my head to the ground and blurted out my apology.
“Ah… no. I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”
From the beginning, I knew that Yoon Si-woo wasn’t the type to act with bad intentions towards me.
So I naturally should think that whatever action he took was out of concern for me.
But what had I done to Yoon Si-woo?
I was the one who got disappointed without reason, wounded without reason, and angry without reason.
Was I being punished for my wrong actions?
Since moments ago, my heart ached with guilt.
The sharp words I had carelessly thrown at Yoon Si-woo felt like a boomerang, ripping my heart apart.
What was disappointment, and what was betrayal?
The feelings I held for Yoon Si-woo transformed into self-hatred, sticking to me from the inside.
The monster that had almost killed a friend ended up hurting others as well.
Wasn’t that just like garbage?
Shaking in revulsion at my own loathsome reflection, I kept apologizing.
“I’m sorry for getting mad even though I didn’t know anything… I’m sorry for shouting… truly sorry… I’m sorry…”
Droplets fell to the ground with a plop.
The drops that fell from my bowed head splashed onto Yoon Si-woo’s feet.
Tears flowing from a piece of trash like me were undoubtedly filthy, just like their owner.
Worried that my dirty tears might touch Yoon Si-woo, I hurriedly lifted my head.
As I looked up, my reflection was mirrored in Yoon Si-woo’s eyes.
The distorted face stained with guilt, crying tears.
Yoon Si-woo’s expression, gazing at me, looked painfully tormented.
Suddenly, a conversation I had with Florene flashed through my mind.
If I smile, the people around me would surely become happy, she had said.
However, that also meant the opposite is true, doesn’t it?
With that thought in mind, I glanced at Yoon Si-woo again and let out a soft laugh of disbelief.
Yoon Si-woo looking at me, who was crying, seemed like an infinitely unhappy person.
Indeed.
I was just a reverse curse, spreading nothing but unhappiness around me instead of happiness.
Perhaps my existence itself was a mistake.
I truly didn’t want to burden others.
But if my very life was a nuisance…
Then maybe it would be better to just-
“…Miss Scarlet?”
At that moment, I heard Sylvia’s voice.
Turning to her voice, I noticed the starlight sparkling on her hand that was placed on my head.
As if mesmerized by that light, I gazed at her with a dazed look, and Sylvia murmured to me, her face filled with concern.
“Um, it’s a mental stabilization spell… I was holding back just in case the spirit’s power might negatively affect your body, Miss Scarlet, but you looked really bad just now… Are you okay?”
Staring blankly for a moment, I checked my condition and slowly nodded.
I was okay.
To be exact, I realized that until just a moment ago, I hadn’t been okay.
Did that mean I had gone through a lot?
When I realized how much stress had been piling up, I felt a little scared.
If I stayed like that, would I have made an extreme choice?
Shaking slightly, I looked at Sylvia and lowered my head slightly to express my gratitude.
“…Thank you. I feel better because of you. And if it’s not too much trouble, can you stay like this for a little longer?”
“Ah, yes! Of course!”
Thinking I should benefit from her spell a little longer, I made that request, and Sylvia nodded, complying with my wish.
As the starlight sparkled from her hand resting on my head, I felt the emotions that had been rampaging start to settle slowly.
It felt like my murky mind, tinted black as if filled with dark clouds, was clearing up.
While I was in that state, I sensed Yoon Si-woo’s gaze on me, watching.
When I turned my eyes in his direction, I saw a worried expression on his face.
I couldn’t help but feel guilty, but thankfully it wasn’t as intense as before.
Anyway, I thought I should still apologize, so I bowed my head slightly and spoke.
“…I’m sorry, I wasn’t in a good state until just now. I apologize.”
“…It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
Receiving the apology, Yoon Si-woo still wore a remorseful expression.
A bittersweet smile crept onto my face.
How could I lighten his mood?
As I pondered, I opened my mouth again.
“And, thank you for caring. If I had heard what you said, I think today would have been much harder for me.”
“Ah… no. What are you thanking me for?”
“Well, it was something you did out of concern for me. Thank you.”
“…Right.”
Yoon Si-woo’s face turned red, looking shy, but he also seemed to be in a better mood than before, probably thanks to my words of gratitude.
Seeing that made my heart feel relieved, and I let out a soft laugh.
Yoon Si-woo also let out a quiet chuckle.
At that moment, I heard what sounded like a sulking voice from Sylvia next to us.
“…Yoon Si-woo, what are you laughing about? You’ve done something really wrong.”
At the word “wrong,” both Yoon Si-woo and I looked at Sylvia.
Then, with one hand resting on my head, she folded her arms and shot a glare at Yoon Si-woo as she murmured.
“If that happened, you should have told me, not Miss Scarlet. We agreed to discuss matters regarding Miss Scarlet together. Guilty as charged.”
“Ah. Well, um…”
Yoon Si-woo looked flustered at those words.
Seeing his funny face made me burst into laughter, and Sylvia turned to look at me with a strange expression.
“…Miss Scarlet, you didn’t do anything right either. I can see Yoon Si-woo seems to know a lot about various matters, but why didn’t he say a word to me? Am I that untrustworthy?”
Hastily shaking my head, I replied.
“…It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
“Then what is it? Always keeping your distance when I try to get close, and rejecting my offers to help. I’d like it if you could explain the reason.”
As I was gazing into Sylvia’s eyes, I let out a bitter smile.
Now I understood.
No matter how much I tried to push her away, she wouldn’t give up on getting closer.
She was clinging to me, as if determined to not leave until I opened up. So I decided to share the truth that was on my mind.
“Um, as you saw today, I have a lot of problems. Sylvia, you’re kind-hearted and gentle, so I thought the closer you got to me, the more difficult it would be for you later on.”
“…So you intentionally avoided getting close to me?”
Nodding with a bitter smile, Sylvia glanced at me, displeased.
“…Do you know what that makes you, Miss Scarlet? Very selfish.”
“Selfish?”
“Yes. You think of others too much but completely disregard how they feel. It’s extraordinarily selfish.”
At her words, I flinched at my shoulders.
Those words echoed the same words a junior once told me at my past company.
Once, our team had a large project to tackle.
If we succeeded, it would be a huge hit.
But with insufficient manpower and time, we all had to give our best to complete it on time.
During that period, I worked overtime for several consecutive days.
I think I didn’t go home for roughly two to three weeks.
Even when people around me worried that I should take a break, I stubbornly replied that I was fine since I believed we had to finish the work first.
Thanks to that, we did manage to finish on time, but I ended up sick from overwork afterward.
Since I had no family to take care of me, I was left alone to suffer when, unexpectedly, that junior of mine packed a bunch of things and came to visit me.
I remembered the conversation we had back then.
“Excuse me.”
“Uh…? How did you end up here…?”
“What do you mean how? I came because I was worried you said you were sick. So, you should’ve taken a break when I told you to… Do I have to go through all this effort just to make you rest? You’re such a nuisance.”
“Haha… You’re right. I’m sorry for inadvertently causing trouble.”
“Sigh, it’s fine. Look at you, burning up with a fever… Ugh, how could you take on all that while already struggling with your own work?”
“What can I do? I was the only one who could do that work. But I still need to go see my parents since they had an accident.”
“No matter what, that’s a bit much… Who pays that much attention to someone else nowadays? Are you a pushover?”
“A pushover? I also don’t help people I dislike. I helped him because he’s a good person. He always took care of his parents, you know? When I saw him looking dead at the news of his parents’ accident, how could I just leave him?”
“Seriously, you’re such a pushover when it comes to good people. What if someone asked you to give them a kidney?”
“Well, if it’s someone who really needs it, I might consider it…?”
“Crazy… You make me scared because I feel like you would actually do it. How are there still people like this in today’s world?”
“Haha… I’m just joking, joking.”
“…By the way, why didn’t you ask me for help? You came all this way to visit, yet you want to go already?”
“…? You must have been busy working too. You should go home and rest.”
“…You may be selfish, but you’re also oblivious. How did I end up with someone like you… sigh, fine. I’m leaving, so take care of yourself.”
…Not long after that incident, I ended up coming here, but I wondered how that junior was doing now.
We met back in college and happened to stick together since I joined the same company.
He treated me like a little brother, being friendly and close.
Now, with me like this, I wondered how my original self in the world was doing.
Anyway, I hoped he wouldn’t be too sad and that he was doing well, even if I was gone.
While I was lost in those memories, I locked eyes with Sylvia.
As she came a step closer, she whispered softly into my ear.
“…You said the closer I get to Miss Scarlet, the harder it will be for me? That’s true. If something were to happen to you, I’m sure it would be incredibly difficult for me. I might even cry for days on end.”
“So…”
“But.”
With the word “but,” I sensed her hand hold me tighter.
Sylvia looked straight at me and said in a steady voice,
“But one thing is clear. If something were to happen to you while I’m unable to do anything, it would definitely be ten times harder for me. So, I’m going to start doing things my way.”
“…Doing things your way?”
“I mean that even if you refuse my help from now on, I’ll help you without permission. Consider it a threat. Do you understand? If you don’t want to see me crying like a baby, you better depend on me a little more readily.”
Sylvia said that while grinning at me.
Since it was a terrifying ultimatum I couldn’t refuse, I could only bitterly smile and nod.
Sylvia indeed looked genuinely pleased at that.
As she finally let go of me, her hand that had been casting the spell fell away from my head.
The warm sensation that had been calming my emotions started to dissipate.
I felt a hint of regret.
And in the next moment, as if I had suddenly realized something, I grabbed her hand just before it fell and placed it back on my head.
It was a completely unconscious action.
When I raised my gaze slightly, I found Sylvia looking at me with wide, astonished eyes.
The embarrassment surged within me like a tide, and I let go of her hand while rambling.
“Ah… I mean, when I thought the spell would end, I just got sad without meaning to…! I’m sorry!”
“Hehe…”
At the strange sound, I looked ahead, and Sylvia was wearing a pleased expression, her playful smile returning.
“Ah, I see now… you were sad? That makes sense. Miss Scarlet had a tough day today, so you need my spell. Ah, this cannot go on. This is truly unavoidable.”
Murmuring that, Sylvia took out her mobile phone and called someone.
“Hello, Sebastian? It’s me. A very important matter has come up, and I think I’ll need to stay over at a friend’s house. Please clear my schedule until the afternoon for tomorrow, it’s really important. See you.”
[Wait a minute, Miss?! Miss?! Is that friend a male?!]
…Is this okay?
Sebastian’s almost desperate voice came through the phone, but Sylvia smiled cheerfully as she turned to me, seemingly unbothered.
“Okay, Miss Scarlet. You won’t have to be sad anymore! We’ll have plenty of time for me to help you with spells, so let’s sleep together today!”
“Wait… sleep over?”
Yoon Si-woo, who had been listening from the side, said, looking astonished at Sylvia.
Sylvia beamed at Yoon Si-woo and said mischievously.
“What? Are you jealous that I’m going to sleep together with Miss Scarlet?”
“Jealous? Why would I be jealous?!”
“Of course, you would be! Anyway, Miss Scarlet, if you need spells, just let me know. I’ll keep casting them all night!”
Um, about my opinion…
I thought of voicing it, but seeing Sylvia’s oddly excited demeanor, I found myself unable to refuse and had to go to bed with her.
“Well then, goodnight, Sylvia.”
“Goodnight, Miss Scarlet.”
At first, I was quite nervous about sleeping together with Sylvia.
“…I’m happy. That you would rely on me in this way, Miss Scarlet.”
Maybe because of the spell or her warm hand caressing my head.
That night, I fell into a deep slumber almost immediately.
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