After hearing Sylvia’s reassurance, I had to pull myself together again as tears burst forth once more.
While Sylvia held me in her arms, gently patting my back, she noticed I seemed to calm down and asked me a question.
“Um, Scarlet, can I ask you something… Is this the first time you’ve experienced such symptoms?”
“What symptoms do you mean?”
“Those symptoms where you seem to lose your mind, like today. I wanted to know if you’ve experienced anything like that before…”
I slightly lowered my head at Sylvia’s worried look. It was true that there were many things I had hidden from her.
I had decided to only ask Yoon Si-woo for help.
Most of my issues arose due to my inner witch.
However, unlike Yoon Si-woo, who shared a close connection with witches, Sylvia had no connection to the topic of witches except knowing I was a test subject created by her family.
I thought dragging her into witch-related matters would only cause her trouble.
So, I tried my best to act normal in front of her, not wanting to create any worries.
Given Sylvia’s personality, if she found out I was struggling, she would undoubtedly try to help in any way she could.
So far, that had been the case, but now it was all for nothing.
Somehow, I spilled everything that happened today, and I had even shown her my crying face.
There was no helping it.
I sighed softly inside and replied to Sylvia.
“…Honestly, I have experienced similar symptoms before. Voices telling me to burn things at random times, and I occasionally get thoughts that feel foreign to me. If those count, then it’s not the first time.”
“…Then, those symptoms have been ongoing for a while?”
I slowly nodded at her question.
Sylvia stiffened her expression and inhaled sharply.
After a moment of her lips moving silently, she murmured in a small voice.
“…Then you must have been suffering a lot because of it?”
Suffering a lot, huh.
I pondered her question briefly, and though I couldn’t say ‘no,’ all I could manage was a bitter smile in response.
Seeing that, Sylvia looked as if she might cry at any moment and spoke in a trembling voice, filled with self-reproach.
“…I’m sorry. I didn’t know at all. I was always clinging to you when I struggled while staying at the mansion but couldn’t even notice you were hurting…”
Feeling a tightness in my chest at Sylvia’s look, I thought about why I didn’t want to tell her.
From the beginning, why should she feel sorry for me?
I never let on in front of her that I was struggling inside, so it made no sense for her to notice my pain.
Yet, here she was, on the verge of tears due to guilt, so I slowly patted her head and said.
“You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I’ve been able to endure it until now, and that’s why I didn’t show it.”
“Then…”
With her eyes brimming with tears, Sylvia looked at me and continued in a heavy voice.
“Then today means you were in such distress that you couldn’t hide it anymore.”
I swallowed hard at her sharp observation.
She was right.
What happened today was too shocking for me to just brush off.
Sylvia seemed to take my reaction as a silent affirmation, her face growing more sorrowful.
Then she bit her lip and, with a firm voice, said.
“…Then we need to find a way to ensure something like today never happens again. Scarlet, do you have any idea what caused this today?”
After pondering her words for a moment, I answered.
“…I’m not sure. It was the first time I completely lost my mind and acted like that. But if there is a reason, I think it might be because I lost my miasma while coming back after leaving the barrier…”
“Hmm… Is that really the cause? But that alone doesn’t seem reasonable. After all, it’s not the first time you’ve returned after leaving the barrier. If the barrier was the cause, this should have happened before, yet it didn’t.”
“That’s true…”
I nodded in agreement.
As she said, this was my third time coming back after leaving the barrier.
Though I had fainted on the way back the first two times, if leaving the barrier was the sole reason, I should have lost my mind due to miasma depletion then as well.
However, no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t pinpoint anything.
The only special thing that had happened to me during that time was losing my limbs?
But it didn’t particularly feel like that was the cause…
As I was deep in thought, Sylvia murmured.
“There might be another reason that Scarlet doesn’t know about. Yoon Si-woo, do you have any guesses? After all, you’re living with Scarlet, aren’t you?”
As Sylvia mumbled, she turned to Yoon Si-woo and asked.
But I figured he wouldn’t have any valuable insight.
I didn’t really have any clues, so how could Yoon Si-woo?
Even if he did, I thought he wouldn’t have kept any information about me from me.
So, I was even more shocked.
“I… I have an inkling, but I’m not sure.”
Yoon Si-woo, who had been hesitating, suddenly blurted that out.
As I stared at him blankly, we locked eyes, and I saw a complicated expression on his face.
Then, like a kid caught doing something bad, Yoon Si-woo recoiled slightly, turning his gaze away from me as he spoke in a small voice.
“…The other day, I had a brief conversation with the witch who possessed Scarlet’s body. At the time, it didn’t seem like there were any ill intentions, so I just let it go… Anyway, the fact that this happened might suggest that Scarlet is closer to being a witch than before. Maybe the different symptoms are due to that…”
“…That kind of thing.”
At Yoon Si-woo’s words, Sylvia appeared taken aback.
I was surprised too.
The fact that something had happened without my knowledge was shocking, and it filled me with fear.
However, what filled my heart now wasn’t surprise or fear.
It was disappointment and betrayal.
“…Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
I could see Yoon Si-woo avoiding my gaze.
The other day was when I was in pain.
I remembered how he had acted strangely when I had asked him what had happened before leaving.
However, since he answered that it was nothing, I had casually believed it and moved on.
But to think that he had kept this from me while such a thing occurred…
The person I trusted the most in this world was none other than Yoon Si-woo.
Because I trusted him so much, the betrayal felt even heavier.
He, of all people, knew how much I was concerned about my inner witch.
Yet, the fact that he had hidden something from me—the person most affected—was unbearable.
With all the emotions I had been struggling to suppress, others mixed in, causing me to feel suffocated.
As my breath became ragged, heat rose to my head, and something boiled up in my chest.
That feeling surged up and clawed at my throat, bursting out like a sharp sound.
“Of all people… you should have at least told me about something like that!”
Yoon Si-woo looked as if he were pricked by my anger, showing a pained expression.
Why are you making that face?
I’m the one suffering because of your actions.
Feeling wronged, tears welled up in my eyes.
I couldn’t hide that emotion, and I cried out to Yoon Si-woo.
“…Why did you hide it from me? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Then Yoon Si-woo muttered, his face twisted.
“…If you knew there was such a thing, it would have only made things harder for you.”
I felt winded by his words.
“…With everything already happening, hearing that the witch possessed your body, even for a moment, would only frighten you more. That’s why I hid it, thinking it might relieve your burdens a little… But hearing it now, I realize I must have been wrong. I’m sorry…”
“Ah…”
As Yoon Si-woo’s voice cooled the heat inside me, it brought me back to reality.
I saw Yoon Si-woo with his head bowed.
As the heat that had been in my head chilled, my hands and feet began to tremble.
This isn’t right.
Yoon Si-woo was only trying to care for me.
I was the one who needed to apologize.
The one who did wrong was me, not him.
Nausea surged within me.
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