As the massive monster charged closer, pushing through the air with a menacing fog of malicious energy.
Drool mixed with blood hung from its gaping maw, its predatory gaze fixed on me.
All of this made me regret my choices just moments ago.
I gritted my teeth.
Swish! The wings of the sky, which were hanging behind me, elongated vertically. Instantly, they thickly wrapped around my arms like gloves.
With that, I slammed powerful energy into the inside of the sky’s wings. My magic reserves were slowly running low. My recovery rate couldn’t keep up with my consumption.
I threw a punch.
My hands were far too small and pathetic to block its massive paw.
The gathered energy flickered like a candle in the face of the raging blood energy.
Scrape! The vicious claws pierced my right arm. My energy split apart. The sky’s wings tore, and my skin ripped. Blood gushed forth.
Wham! The giant paw swung down, trying to crush me. I blocked it with my other hand. Crunch! A chilling sound echoed from my arm as muscle bundles wrapped around my bones tore apart one by one.
Not able to absorb the impact, my body was pushed back. I felt like I was about to topple over. I firmly planted my legs into the ground.
Yet, my legs still dragged along the ground. Weak and trembling, my legs slowly retreated.
– Bam!
The immense shock reverberated through my entire body. My consciousness momentarily fogged over.
The setting changed.
The door was now shattered.
I flew through the ruined door and rolled down a long corridor.
It hurt. Pain boiled in my brain, turning my vision into a swirling darkness of black and white.
A sense of crisis flowed down my spine. I rolled myself away. Smash! The thick paw from moments ago smashed down where I just had been.
The claws scraped my side, piercing my energy shield. Blood gushed onto the ground. My consciousness faded rapidly.
My stomach churned. My insides twisted, threatening to spill out through my wounds. I wrapped the sky’s wings around myself to staunch the bleeding.
Aelus showed no mercy. The blood-wreathed paw of the monster struck rapidly, its gaping mouth snapping at me.
My spatial perception wavered, unstable and unsteady.
The pain began to fade. A sense of life slipped away from me.
I could sense death approaching, beckoning me toward a comfortable path.
There was not just one comfort. Alongside it, compromise gestured at me.
Let’s run away right now. Maybe it’s possible. At least surviving would be an option. What does that person behind me think? It’s nothing. Just let it go. Am I not the most important? Live now and be saved later. There’s no need to do this. Later, I could save even more people…
– Crack!
I clenched my teeth until they shattered. My teeth cracked. My gums bled profusely.
This pain was vividly conveyed. I spat out the surge of blood and shook my hands.
Smash! A burst of energy from my grasp swept over Aelus. My control was lacking. My left hand was also caught in the fray.
I tumbled to the ground. My left hand, skin torn away, barely grazed the earth. Pain surged through me. I struggled to lift my failing body.
I painfully dragged my legs forward.
Then death loomed close.
Wrong.
It was I who was getting closer.
I was the one foolishly offering my neck to death.
This was not coercion. It was not an unavoidable situation. It was not a fate I couldn’t escape.
Wandering around in the rampaging dungeon was my choice. Killing monsters was my choice, saving people was also my choice.
Blocking Aelus outside was my choice, and crawling in here to tangle with it was also my choice.
‘I…’
The monster’s cruel claws flew at me. I twisted to dodge. The blood-soaked claws grazed my shoulder, splattering blood. My left arm went limp.
The assault continued. My body became a wreck. My energy was gradually dissipating. I swung my limbs in desperation, squeezing every last ounce of my magic to unleash a spell.
I was being pushed back progressively. Despite my will, my body was breaking down.
I wanted to escape right away. I didn’t want to die, and I didn’t want to feel this pain. I didn’t want to wrestle with this monster.
‘What a pathetic human I am.’
With my darkening vision, the past merged into the present.
I had barely lived for twenty years. I hadn’t even roamed the wide world freely.
But I had seen many people. Even without face-to-face interactions, the sea of knowledge was filled with various human figures.
Many lived in the present. Many of them were happier than I was.
A cozy home that was neither cold nor hot. Parents who loved their children. A situation where one doesn’t have to worry much about the future.
My gut twisted with jealousy. I couldn’t harbor the earnest intentions to strive for such goals…
Looking up was painful. I couldn’t dare to climb that high. I couldn’t even imagine gaining that happiness.
So, I looked below. Below was somewhere I could go down freely.
There were many happier than I. So I sought those less fortunate than myself.
There were many happy people, but there were double the number of those who were suffering.
I was always beaten by my parents. Such parents were far too common in this world.
Beaten by my parents.
Somehow, I survived. Some became human meat cut up by their parents, others became frozen corpses abandoned in snow.
I had never had a proper meal at my parents’ home. I was always starving. I had far more memories of eating ash and drinking alcohol.
I did not starve to death. In many regions, starvation led not just to hunger, but to actual death.
I was unloved by my parents. There are far too many parents in this world who do not love their own children.
Even now, it was the same. The 21st century was like that. Even the recorded information showed it.
The 20th century. How was it in those times, which were worse than that? The 19th, 18th, 17th centuries…
I contemplated every age where humans existed, considering the cases of those whose suffering went unrecorded and buried beneath the earth.
Could I dare to count? How much misfortune had existed? As much happiness… No, far more misfortune than happiness.
I took that as comfort.
There are many who are far more unfortunate than I. I am not even in the realm of relative misery. I’m doing just okay.
Whining about such matters is pathetic. The truly unfortunate ones were buried in the cold ground before they even had the chance to complain.
I am in the ordinary category.
So don’t make a fuss.
I repeated that in my mind. Even upon reflection, it was truly a despicable, ugly thought.
I had no aspiration to climb up toward happiness, yet down below, I self-soothed by looking at misfortune.
I hated myself for being like that.
– What difference does my brat have from that pest?
Each time, my parents’ words filled my mind. Their voices made me nauseous just thinking about them, yet for some reason, I couldn’t help recalling them.
– All you do is take; you produce nothing. Even a pig leaves meat when it dies; what do you leave? Huh?
My parents never loved me. I longed for affection, but they never gave any.
Parents should naturally embrace the children they have borne, yet mine did not.
For some reason, I instinctively learned a language filled with insults. Their emotions overflowed with hatred, contempt, jealousy, and resentment.
They were wrong. Assuming my learned moral and social knowledge is correct, they were both flawed as parents and as humans.
– You shouldn’t have been born.
– Why did such a thing have to be born? I never wanted to give birth to something like that.
– Disgusting little brat.
Filthy and repulsive. A vile and selfish being. One who should never have been born.
My parents were wrong. That’s what I thought. Thus, all their words were wrong.
Whenever I ruminated over my ugly thoughts, I could not deny them.
Using others’ misfortunes for solace made me feel like the trash my parents described.
Years had passed since they died, yet I had not escaped their shadows, and I felt it was utterly pathetic.
I had to deny that.
I could not even say I was a good person in vain.
I hadn’t performed many small acts of kindness while living.
I never took the initiative to do anything. I never sought to help others through their discomfort.
Because it was outside my sight. I didn’t see it. Seeking to help was uncertain yet far too burdensome and annoying.
Also, these were things I could not do. I couldn’t save someone dying on the other side of the globe. I couldn’t solve the world’s hunger and suffering. I lacked the ability to help others.
However, there were times when I could not voice such excuses.
When it came to matters within my sight. Matters I could help with.
Moreover, at this moment, it was something only I could do.
Just like then. I can’t recall it clearly, but it was an ordinary day.
A car ran unstably, and someone couldn’t dodge it in time. I was the only one nearby.
I was the only one who could help, and I thought I could help sufficiently.
So I threw myself forward. I pushed the person, taking the hit myself. My leg got crushed.
‘I…’
I am still like that.
With my spatial perception, I could feel all those needing help.
Among the berserk beings, I was the strongest.
Right now, I was the only one who could block Aelus.
‘This must be denied.’
I cannot become the trash my parents spoke of. I cannot become the brat they scorned. I must deny them.
But here, in this place where no one else can help, where only I can help, if I turn my back and run away…
I will never be able to deny it for the rest of my life. I will lose the ability to excuse myself.
When someone asks if you feel wronged for hearing such words from your parents, I will no longer be able to answer without a moment’s hesitation.
‘That’s not allowed.’
Crack! Something inside me was on the verge of breaking.
I threw a punch.
Boom! A rough echo resonated. Aelus’s form was briefly pushed back. The monster’s eyes widened in surprise.
Aelus bit down. Perhaps it was looking to observe the last resistance of a dying prey.
My hands trembled. I awkwardly aligned my crooked fingers and clenched my fist.
My left arm was lifeless. I gripped the protruding bone and twisted it forcefully back into place.
I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to be hurt, nor did I want the pain.
But I didn’t want to live my life running away, regretting it forever. I didn’t want to live without being able to make an excuse.
That’s who I am. Before this goodness of helping others, I couldn’t retreat, not even for myself.
‘I will block it.’
To the best of my ability, since I am the only one who can… I must.
I will block this monster. I will give it my all.
If I survive in the future, I must be able to say proudly that I did my best back then.
The thoughts that make me who I am.
One of the elements that form and support me.
Thoughts that distinguish me from others.
Uniqueness that differentiates me from other entities.
Perhaps facing death.
As I felt the sensation of myself fading away, paradoxically, the ‘I’ became vividly clear.
– Boom!
In that moment, something thundered inside my body.
– Boom!
Rough waves shook my mind.
– Boom!
The waves continued.
My dying heart pounded loudly.
With each beat, my uniqueness became apparent.
‘Ah.’
Only when death was upon me did I realize.
I chuckled softly.
Magic affinity and Jack of All Trades.
These were not given to me. They were not things someone else bestowed upon me. I simply realized what I had inherently possessed.
Spatial perception… was accurately bestowed. Not even just one, but two.
Above all, I didn’t understand why they were mine.
Countless questions flooded my mind, yet at this moment, my life took precedence, and I set them aside.
Time, which had been gradually slowing down, began to return to normal.
Crack-! A sound echoed in the corridor as something crumbled. It wasn’t the sound of teeth or bones breaking.
Aelus, who had been gazing at me, flinched and lifted its head.
Its gaze turned upward.
The sky was not visible.
It wouldn’t be, as the ceiling blocked it.
I chuckled to myself. It was laughter directed at me.
‘Because this is not a game.’
Don’t treat the world like a game. It’s reality; think properly.
That ceiling was what hindered my realization of uniqueness.
It isn’t a game. Magic and such powers were common sense in a world where they didn’t exist.
No matter how much I am in this world, I am originally a human from my native world.
Inherently, I cannot possess any unique abilities; they cannot exist, and my narrow-mindedness led me to blindly believe that.
Crash!
Some of the ceiling, which had been cracking, collapsed. Debris from the ceiling fell onto Aelus.
Furthermore.
My spatial perception shattered.
Spatial perception? Incorrect. It was merely the crude binding of two grand entities by my standards.
As what I termed spatial perception collapsed, ‘information’ vanished. The map’s update ceased. The senses remained, but the map was now clumsy, lacking compared to before.
There was no problem.
I knew how to restore this map.
– Ding!
Beyond the fogged mental state, an alarm sounded.
What could it be? Strange.
The connection to my smartwatch had been cut off long ago.
*
– Ding!
[The Trickster is becoming aware of its uniqueness.]
[Unique ability “Magic Affinity” is growing.]
[Unique ability “Jack of All Trades” is growing.]
[Reading the Trickster’s emotions.]
[Player Adjustment System: Measurement.]
…
▶ Mental state
＂Line Cross＂: Standing on the edge of death.
＂Rescue＂: Saving those in danger.
＂Virtuous＂: Will belonging to goodness.
＂Sacrifice＂: Giving up one’s own for others or goals.
…
[Conditions partially met.]
[The Savior Adjustment System is temporarily activated.]
[Assisting the savior.]
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