There was some discomfort during the process, but in the end, we successfully negotiated and escaped from the land of the Beastmen.
After sending Lowell back, who suddenly looked like he aged ten years, Eleonora and I decided to take a stroll in the forest instead of returning immediately.
‘What should I say?’
It’s awkward. I had never cared about this kind of thing before, but now that I’m conscious of it, I can’t seem to find the words.
But this girl is following me around like it’s no big deal.
There’s no one around, and feeling suffocated, I took off my cloak and started walking through the woods. She seemed to be in a good mood, wagging her tail proudly as she walked.
“…Was it okay?”
“Excuse me? What do you mean?”
The words I barely managed to squeeze out were effortlessly shot down by Eleonora’s bright inquiry. Looking at her blank expression, it seemed she really had no idea what I was talking about.
I thought it was a relief that she remained the same, but on the other hand, it was a complicated feeling. Yet, at least for today, I had no choice but to concede, so I sighed quietly and waved the white flag.
“I mean not following the Beastmen. Although the relationship between the Dragonkin and Beastmen used to be terrible, if they were actively encouraging, wouldn’t it be safer than following me around?”
It sounded like she was worried, but in reality, it was a question she didn’t mean.
Eleonora’s eyes widened. She looked genuinely surprised, as if she hadn’t even considered that.
For a moment, I felt a little anxious. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
I was afraid of her replying, “Oh, I see.”
Have I always been this much of a nuisance?
I don’t know. After all, not many people are perfectly self-aware.
But I decided to trust her, right? Trust is important.
However, Eleonora’s response took a slightly different direction than I had anticipated.
“…Am I possibly a burden?”
“No, that’s not it.”
Seeing her eyes glimmer with moisture like an abandoned puppy, I quickly shook my head.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw someone’s head fly off in front of me, but I found it silly that I was flustered by this. I didn’t even have time to care about it.
Thankfully, it seemed that my hurried plea made her feel genuine concern, as her once-drooping tail began to wag again.
“If I’m not a burden, please take me anywhere. I’m your slave, after all.”
“It’s not a burden. But the most dangerous place in the world is right beside me. Honestly, Kanak was right. Even though you’re my master and slave, there’s nothing binding you. You have the right to choose a happier life with your free will.”
“You were worried about me, then.”
Eleonora sighed in relief, and the corners of her mouth twitched slightly. Her expression was still a bit awkward, but at least it resembled a smile more than any I had ever seen.
“Master, what is a happy life?”
“…Well, living in a healthy body in an environment free from any threats to life?”
Out of nowhere, a rather serious topic came up, but answering wasn’t too difficult.
I want to live. I don’t want to die.
Happiness is generally abstract and hard, but I’ve never dared to dream beyond that.
Perhaps even that was a desire too lavish for me. I am still living in a world that does not allow my life, even after experiencing death once.
“I think being by your side is the happiest for me.”
“…”
“Except for my deceased father, no one has seen me as a person.”
I listened closely to Eleonora’s calm confession.
I had heard how her father died before. But this was the first time I’d heard what Eleonora had seen, heard, and felt.
“I hated humans. I hated the same kind that chased my father and me away. At first, I didn’t want to die, but after living as a slave, I began to think that perhaps dying would be better.”
Right. When I first met you, you asked me to kill you if I wouldn’t take you with me.
You didn’t seem afraid of death, but you asked me so boldly that it was a bit fascinating.
“I thought I’d live my life as a slave until I died. But you saved me, Master. If I had been abandoned then, I would have died, so this life is yours because you saved me. I could die for you, so there’s no way I would leave you.”
“But I don’t want you to die.”
“Yes, that’s why, Master.”
Eleonora smiled. This time, it wasn’t a clumsy, shaky smile, but a genuine one, brimming with much clearer joy than before.
“The only one who could see me as a person, the only one who picked up this life I cast away at the last moment, is you. You gave me warmth that no one else in the world had. Because you said you don’t want me to die, I can die for you.”
“The actions I took were not out of consideration for you. They were necessary steps to use you nicely, and I was ready to throw you away at any time if need be.”
“Still, it was fine. I’ve already received a lot from you. And you’ve said it, but you haven’t thrown me away. You’re doing it for real, right?”
“…You speak better than I expected.”
I had always seen her as a child. It felt strange yet mature to see her arguing back so confidently.
It might be something obvious that I hadn’t bothered to understand.
Death charges a high tuition fee but is quite a capable teacher, don’t you think?
Just like I grew up early because I faced death in my previous life, it wouldn’t be surprising if Eleonora grew more mature after wandering the world and living a miserable life as a slave from a young age.
Seeing her tail wag rapidly as if she took my speech as a compliment, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sudden fall from maturity three seconds in.
“I’ve said it many times, but if you come with me, you won’t die peacefully.”
“Yes, I know.”
“I am a bad vampire, and if I survive, many people will die at my hands in the future.”
“If many humans die, the continent will get cleaner. And if the Dragonkin were reduced a bit too, that would be refreshing.”
Indeed, this girl is a bit broken too. Her overly cheerful response was quite delightful.
It seems people who are also broken and abandoned find it easier to connect.
“Will you fall with me to the very end of hell?”
“Of course.”
“Even if it’s not coercive?”
“I chose to be your slave of my own free will. It is stronger than any magic-induced servitude.”
Words I wanted to hear but couldn’t. Words no one else had ever said.
Unconditionally affirming me without any ulterior motives fills something in the gaping hole of my heart.
Even though I know the broken heart is like a leaky vase, I desperately clutch at the warmth that flows through it for just a moment.
I began to unravel the stories I hadn’t even mentioned in the duchy.
The times I lived among humans.
The times I secretly survived on animal blood because I didn’t want to drink human blood.
And the times I was turned over to the Luminous Kingdom’s Palace by the hands of the second person I was closest to.
Despite all that, there were times I claimed that I could coexist with humans.
The painful days I spent in a basement as an answer to that claim.
How desperate I was when I was forcefully awakened to the Progenitor’s blood.
I remember how I felt an altered ecstasy when I deceived Raul, who tortured me to avoid execution, and was finally able to kill a human with my own hands and drink its blood.
For survival, I could do anything.
From the moment I killed Raul, I had to live as a vampire rather than a human.
No, it was probably destined to be so from the moment I was reborn into this body.
But even if I accepted the fate of being a vampire, without a change in the memories in my brain, how was I supposed to know how the vampire race, which I had never encountered, should behave to survive well?
What I possessed were memories from my human life, and I needed to reweave the values of the vampire from those memories.
It wasn’t particularly difficult to get that far.
Vampires are the natural enemies of humans. If vampires were to act in ways that could be defined as evil from a human perspective, then that would be the right way for a vampire.
To survive, I willingly chose loss.
I wanted to cast away all human emotions first.
Guilt, shame, pity— I threw them all away and willingly committed what I had always considered evil.
The taker and the taken.
The ruler and the ruled.
The murderer and the murdered.
The exploiter and the exploited.
The world has always been one side or the other, and if I didn’t want to be on the latter, I had to be on the former.
I chose to be the perpetrator rather than the victim.
I twisted my own values, deceived someone, and in moments of killing and stealing, I felt relief that I was taking the right path to survive.
To that point, twisting only my own values wasn’t too hard, but truly overcoming the fear of loneliness was a different matter.
I learned through my time in the duchy that there were limits to what I could do alone.
I witnessed human beings who would go to war just to kill me. The walls of reality were high, and I was such a tiny existence; I, the pitiful one, had no strength to stand against the world alone.
Naturally, I became dependent on the connection I had with the duchy, which had sustained me in the face of such a colossal reality.
The only existence that could possibly become an ally in this world.
Although it was a relationship formed not out of pure goodwill but a meeting of interests, I had to hold onto the only shield that protected me from the immense world.
That’s why after leaving the duchy, I had to change my attitude once more.
The Grand Duke of the duchy, Martini Sahelrn, wished for me to be a king who would lead the future of vampires.
I didn’t think I had such potential or value, but I feared being thrown back into the world alone if I didn’t acquire the stature of a king she envisioned.
As someone who had even been given honorifics by the Grand Duke, I could never cowardly belittle myself and tarnish Martini’s name. I had to become an arrogant and noble vampire.
It wasn’t easy. I was basically a cautious and timid person by nature.
Although I could turn human values on their head and create vampire values, I lacked the suitable experiences to form the values befitting a vampire king.
But I had to do it. The debt I owed to the duchy was proof that I wasn’t standing alone in this world, so I had to fit my thoughts and values into the mold that was set for me.
After leaving the duchy, I lost my connection with it and had to let go of many things once again to not act recklessly.
I could not afford to let any negative emotions slip out, so while my anger towards humans, who took away my refuge, was boiling, I had to contain that overflowing emotion instead of letting it out into the world.
I succeeded in being able to remain mostly calm and draw closer to the vampire.
Though I didn’t feel any regret during that process, the feeling of loneliness only grew.
Even the duchy, which had become my ally unconditionally, was ultimately based on an interest-based relationship.
In distressing circumstances piled upon deception, it would be a hard reality to think that anyone in this world could truly understand me.
Maybe that’s why I picked up Eleonora.
No matter how much I claimed that Dragonkin blood was high quality, I might have secretly hoped that being in a similar position as her would mean she could truly understand me.
Eleonora stayed quiet and listened to my stories until the very end.
Even though the experiences of vampires wouldn’t be pleasant tales for humans, Eleonora listened to my words without even a frown, diligently echoing my sentiments.
“That must have hurt a lot.”
“I know I’m evil. I don’t deny the sins I’ve committed, and if I have to live, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Who decided that merely wanting to live is a sin? In the end, it’s the one who survives that wins.”
“Pwah, that’s true.”
I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the violent statements that occasionally popped up whenever she echoed back, despite her calm appearance.
I only ended up letting out the things I had kept inside, yet it felt liberating like never before.
I never thought I would be understood. But this little Dragonkin girl affirms me.
The overflowing trust is so sweet that I lingered in that aftertaste for a long time.
“Master.”
“Yeah?”
“Then now you won’t say you’ll abandon me, right?”
“Once I start regretting, I won’t let you go.”
I couldn’t go back now. I had no intention of giving up the sweetness I had once tasted.
“Then… if it’s not overstepping, can I ask for a favor?”
“What is it?”
“Please give me proof. I want evidence that I’m bound to you forever, far greater than the servitude magic a slave would bear.”
“I can’t provide much right now, but what do you mean?”
Eleonora hesitated for a moment. After looking around to confirm there was no one nearby, she took two big breaths, steeled herself, and then sent me a heated gaze.
“Drink my blood. Not shallow like usual, but hard enough to leave an indelible mark on my neck.”
“…That’ll hurt.”
“I know you always try to be gentle as much as possible. It feels good— A-anyway, I’m fine with it.”
Did you just say you feel good?
Looking into Eleonora’s eyes, she seemed a bit out of touch. Was her brake completely off, stirring up an obsession that was boiling over?
Normally, I would have found this a bit alarming, but now it didn’t feel so bad.
This obsession is also proof that she wishes for me to live, that she wants to be with me.
“Okay. Then let’s go outside of the mist.”
“I think that would be alright. Please do it here.”
“Huh? But this place is…”
Thus far, I had always gone outside the Mist Labyrinth when drinking Eleonora’s blood.
That’s because one cannot inflict physical harm to others here.
In that moment, I’d lose the right to stay here.
But Eleonora insisted it was okay, revealing her neck as she shifted her hair aside.
“You said physical harm couldn’t occur, right? But where does the standard of physical harm lie? Holding hands is no problem, is it?”
“…That’s true.”
Thinking about it, she had a point. The rules of the forest aren’t explicitly defined.
The knowledge I had about the forest’s rules was nothing more than a compilation of knowledge inferred from the experiences of those who had lived here before.
So then, what exactly is the point where ‘physical harm’ begins?
I said simple contact would be fine.
If I held her hand a bit more tightly, would that be physical harm?
And if I squeezed hard enough to crush her hand, wouldn’t that be classified as physical harm?
Exactly how much pressure do I need to apply for it to cross that boundary?
“If simple contact is fine, then it was also said that wielding a weapon while not directly touching someone would still allow for no attacks, right? So couldn’t it be said that this ‘physical harm’ ultimately depends on how the recipient perceives it?”
“Does it…?”
I had always known she was sharp, but she’s actually pretty sharp.
There’s some validity to her argument. No, I instinctively felt that Eleonora’s hypothesis was correct.
The vampire’s instinct, the huntress’s intuition was now screaming that there’s no issue drinking her blood right here.
And if that’s really possible, then it means Eleonora truly trusts me.
Did she plan this all along? Because I revealed my anxieties today?
“So, please give me the proof. Then I’ll show you evidence that my body and heart belong to you as well.”
It’s true. This really was her intention.
Even though I could trust Eleonora whole-heartedly without doing this, I didn’t refuse her proposal.
The fact that she’s asking for a mark means her sincerity.
I quietly wrapped my arms around Eleonora from behind.
If she were to reject me or if my predictions turned out wrong, the moment I bit in would lead me to see the illusions of the mist. In that case, I would practically be expelled from this place and my plans would be thrown off track.
However, even though there was a definite possibility of that happening, I wasn’t fearful at all.
Gradually—
“Huah!”
Carefully, but more roughly than usual, I sank my fangs into Eleonora’s nape.
As my fangs pierced through her soft, warm flesh, they reached quite deep, and soon, the hot blood pulsating gently soaked my tongue.
Once you begin a serious act of bloodsucking, it becomes incredibly difficult to stop before the prey dies, but today, amidst the intoxicating scent of blood, I managed to maintain my composure flawlessly.
Ten minutes later, two small circular wounds remained on Eleonora’s neck.
As expected, the forest’s barrier did not recognize our actions as inflicting physical harm.
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