The more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t shake off the feeling that Plona’s behavior was unnatural.
I hadn’t been that bad when I watched her dying in the Mist Labyrinth.
Even if my emotions had hardened, I was still rational enough to recognize that this wasn’t right, so I saved Plona, even if it meant making her one of my followers, to avoid any regrets.
But what about Plona?
Up until this moment, it felt like she was acting as if she had completely severed her emotions and memories regarding Selin…
“Plona. Look at me.”
Suddenly, a possibility crossed my mind.
A possibility that typically wouldn’t even be worth considering. Though hesitant, Plona obeyed my words.
I locked eyes with her and peered deeper.
That’s when I discovered the faint traces of a lingering dark magic in the depths of Plona’s mind that was actively taking effect.
“…An implication?”
Had I not been specifically looking for it, I would have never noticed the traces of magic embedded deep within Plona’s mind. It was undoubtedly a type of implication.
‘Who? When?’
In that instant, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head, freezing my blood.
Plona, being a follower who had a potent connection to my blood, should’ve been immune to most dark magic that affects the mind, like hallucinations or suggestions.
Besides, it seemed absurd that it still had an effect, regardless of when that magic was cast. It couldn’t be possible unless she had suggested it to herself… Wait a minute. Herself?
‘No way.’
If Plona suggested it to herself, it would make sense.
Since she was the user, she wouldn’t be subject to any resistance or immunity, making it easy for her to inscribe the suggestion deep within her mind and refreshing it to maintain the effect.
But then, why would she need to do that? I asked Plona, half-convinced,
“Plona, did you perhaps place a suggestion on yourself?”
Plona flinched and trembled like a child scolded by their parents.
Her reaction made my worried suspicion become a reality. Sure enough, Plona lowered her gaze and slowly nodded.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hide it… I thought it might worry you if you found out.”
“Why? What did you suggest?”
Should I be thankful this wasn’t an enemy attack?
A strong suggestion is almost like a taboo as long as its effect persists. However, since interfering with another’s mind comes with many restrictions, it’s rarely taken to that level.
‘But why Plona?’
If she needed to impose a taboo for some reason, she could’ve just asked me. After all, did Plona even need one beyond controlling bloodsucking behavior?
However, Plona’s answer was something I hadn’t anticipated at all.
“To align her values with mine… I was adjusting my mind so that I wouldn’t develop feelings for humans.”
“When did you start?”
“Right after my first successful hunt as a vampire… It wasn’t long after that.”
It had already been over three years since the day Plona completed her first hunt. I was choked up by a story I never could have imagined.
“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”
Suddenly, Plona dropped to her knees and began banging her forehead against the ground.
Startled, I quickly grabbed her and pulled her up. Her desperate gaze trembled like someone standing at the edge of a cliff.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
I felt Plona’s body shaking in my embrace.
I was flustered, but as I waited calmly, thankfully, she began to regain her composure a little. After a while, Plona started to stumble through her explanation of what had happened.
It all began when she returned from her first hunt.
After quenching an unbearable thirst, Plona faced reality once more.
The delayed self-loathing and fear haunted her. Despite accepting her life as a vampire, the memory of enjoying human blood plagued her sober mind.
But it couldn’t be like that forever.
If there was one thing Plona learned for certain, it was that her sister was always right, and everything that troubled her sister was completely wrong.
And Plona firmly believed that if she kept showing signs of struggle, her gentle sister would privately suffer from guilt in the shadows.
Everything that bothered her sister was wrong. Thus, the one at fault must be herself for worrying about such matters.
As her sister, she couldn’t allow that.
Determined to reclaim her absolute righteousness, she took drastic measures.
“I realized that divine magic and dark magic are structurally similar. That’s when I thought to suggest to myself and correct this wrongdoing.”
Plona used the word ‘wrongdoing’ to describe her own suffering, and there was no hesitation in her voice.
It seemed like she sincerely believed that troubling me, even now, was wrong, revealing a fanatical obsession.
“So I placed a suggestion. So that humans wouldn’t feel like individuals to me. When I went on my next hunt, I realized that the suggestion worked. Killing a human and drinking their blood felt only delicious, and I didn’t think about anything in particular.”
Upon regaining her ‘rightness,’ Plona was finally able to rejoice purely.
Now she could share the same values as her sister, look through the same lens, and feel the same emotions.
“When I saw my sister genuinely happy that I was back to normal… I couldn’t bring myself to say that it was just a suggestion and that I hadn’t truly overcome anything. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me!”
Had she been this pent up?
Plona, continually begging for my forgiveness, was pitiful.
I hadn’t realized. I thought I was doing enough for Plona’s mental care, but in reality, it was utterly insufficient.
I should’ve considered why out of all the countless vampires, there weren’t even any knights among them aside from Plona.
Just like Selin, who had thought about biting her tongue and dying the moment she woke up, it was ridiculous to assume that Plona, who had received even more training, would wholly discard her human values after just a few words from me.
‘This is tough.’
Building relationships with others was this difficult?
I hadn’t known. In my previous life spent on a sickbed, I had no opportunities, and in this life, I resolved most matters through violence rather than conversation.
‘But I’m not the only one.’
If it was difficult for me, it would be difficult for others too.
And yet, those who approached me first were at my side.
Elinora, who gave up her chance to run away and chose to follow a vampire like me.
Plona, who, despite her inner turmoil, chose me over her lifelong social standing, values, and relationships.
Martini and Stella, who fought for their lives, gambling on possibilities they themselves couldn’t be sure of.
Lavina, who stepped forward despite the fear of rejection.
Why did it take me this long to realize? Those I called ‘my people’ had all, without exception, been the ones to extend their hands to me first.
So focused on the mere fact of being betrayed by humans, I hadn’t considered how much courage it took for those close to me to reach out.
I had always been caught up in anger and resentment toward the world.
The most precious bonds were already within my grasp.
“Plona, I am not perfect. I’m not always right.”
“…Sister?”
I thought it was fine to be broken.
It’s too late; it can’t be helped. I rationalized myself with such thoughts and expressed anger toward those who weren’t on my side.
I couldn’t see myself, so I didn’t know.
That as Plona inscribed ‘my values’ into her mind through suggestion and revealed her distortion, I hadn’t realized how I looked to those I considered my people.
Was I truly worthy of taking their hands?
I began to feel otherwise. Even if I couldn’t share hope, how could I lift my head before them while offering despair?
These were the people who approached me. I couldn’t rely on the goodwill of those around me forever.
Hadn’t I resolved to shoulder everything?
In that case, I had to change.
No longer could I flee, cutting off feelings and relations out of fear of getting hurt.
“In reality, there’s much more I don’t know than I do. So I’m always wondering. What if I’m wrong? Is this right?”
Plona had been suffering in silence all alone because she tried too hard to conform to me.
She concluded that I was absolutely right, and in matching my steps, she was forced to run until her feet bled.
“But even so, I still pretend to be confident. You know why?”
Plona looked at me, cautiously gauging my reaction, shaking her head. I gently placed my hand on her head and, stripping away the usual confidence, forced an awkward smile.
“Because you all believe in me.”
I cautiously brushed against the implication inscribed in Plona’s mind.
I felt no resistance, and the implication easily broke.
“So I hope you don’t carry it alone, Plona. Even if you hesitate, I won’t hate you. No matter who you are, you’re my precious family.”
“…I might hold you back.”
Her voice trembled uncertainly. Yet this time, I could clearly sense her will to move forward despite her nervousness.
“Then we can take it slow.”
“I might throw a tantrum sometimes.”
“Can’t I indulge the cute little sister once in a while?”
“…Is it really okay for someone as lacking as me?”
Plona’s voice quivered softly.
Yes, indeed, you are strong. Much stronger than someone like me.
So,
“Let’s share our struggles and create together.”
Finally, tears streamed down Plona’s face.
Although her eyes shimmered red like the sunset, entirely devoid of the blue they held in her human days, they resembled the autumn sky of that time more than I could remember.
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