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Chapter 79

My heart raced…

I returned to my room and lost my mind for hours.

It was Kyle who made my heart race.

This wasn’t just a flutter of surprise or anger; it was something more.

Kyle’s words and actions made my heart beat faster…

“I… don’t know…”

I wasn’t sure…

It was true that my heart raced because of Kyle, but I couldn’t definitively say if I loved him rationally.

I just didn’t know about this feeling right now.

I lay flat on my bed, pondering.

Why did my heart race in that situation?

Why did Kyle make my heart race?

Why did my heart race?

“…”

Do I… like Kyle?

I honestly couldn’t tell.

This was a difficult question for me.

Kyle…

He was undoubtedly a good match.

In reality, Kyle was tall, fit, and handsome.

Not to mention, he had a good personality and a very high status.

He was a duke, after all.

“But still…”

I couldn’t say I liked Kyle.

People might think I’m crazy if they heard me.

And rightly so.

If I shared my circumstances, they’d probably think I was a madwoman for being interested in a man.

But for me, it never crossed my mind that I was totally a woman.

I had lived over 20 years in a woman’s body, yet it was unavoidable.

In the past, I didn’t care much about it.

Thanks to my memories from my previous life, I hadn’t done poorly in school at the dorm, and I adapted better than others.

Well, occasionally I thought it’d be nice if in my past life, I had something like this, and regretted the lack of it in this life, but overall, it was good.

However, now it was uncomfortable because of those memories.

“Damn…”

If I were a normal woman, would I have accepted Kyle’s confession when he first told me?

“I don’t know, damn it. How could I know?”

It was just a hypothetical.

Something that wouldn’t actually happen.

And to begin with, if I were a normal woman, I wouldn’t have met Kyle in the first place.

When I was young, the sudden move to a dormitory wouldn’t have happened, nor would I have briefly become an adventurer.

So, it was obvious I wouldn’t have worked in Eristirol either.

I would’ve lived a perfectly ordinary life.

Spending time in my village, dating an ordinary guy who I’d feel sorry to compare with Kyle, and working.

Completely different from now.

“But reality is nothing like that.”

I wasn’t a normal woman, and I was confessed to by an extraordinary man who I’d feel sorry to compare with.

And we hadn’t even started dating yet.

What should I do?

What should I say to Kyle…?

“Damn.”

I feel like I’ve been swearing too much lately.

I used to swear occasionally, but lately, it’s increased.

As someone working under the Eristirol family, I know I shouldn’t, but still…

“Ha…”

I just lay in bed, thinking until nightfall.

I hadn’t reached any conclusions, just thinking.

I was…

*

“Young Master.”

“Yes.”

It was morning, and I stood in front of Kyle.

My heart raced from yesterday’s memory.

This sudden change… maybe it was expected.

No matter how you looked at it, standing here like this didn’t make my heart race before.

“Do you really like me?”

“Yes.”

“….”

I’d already received Kyle’s confession over a week ago.

During that time, Kyle had repeatedly said things that were essentially confessions to me.

He’d held my hand, kissed me, and hugged me.

I was surprised, considering we weren’t even dating yet.

But what was clear was that Kyle liked me.

The problem was that I didn’t know whether I liked Kyle romantically or not.

Then…

“If you like me…”

It might be an unreasonable request.

No, it was definitely an unreasonable request.

If anyone heard this, they’d surely think I was talking nonsense.

“How about we date for a few days to just try it out…?”

I had no choice but to say this.

To confirm my feelings, there was no other way.

It was selfish.

It was a flawless expression of my current self.

It felt like I was toying with the heart of a guy who claimed to like me just because I was having a hard time.

“I’m sorry, but…”

“I’m fine. If that’s what Sofia wants.”

Kyle…

Accepted my unreasonable request, my selfish words, without any problem.

As always, he looked at me with a smile.

-…!….!!

It felt like my heart didn’t just race, but pounded.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay.”

“But Young Master…”

Isn’t it too unfair to Kyle, logically?

How could he react so calmly when the person he likes says something like this?

Wouldn’t he rather look pleased?

How in the world…

“It’s fine. Even if Sofia takes her time, I’m okay with it.”

“…”

“The Sofia who once said she could never like me has now said this. It shows that everything I’ve done so far has worked out reasonably well.”

Right.

When I first heard Kyle’s confession, I had said something like that.

That no matter what he did or said, I’d never like him.

“If you’re bringing this up about dating for a trial, then… if I just keep doing well, I should be able to end up with Sofia without any trouble, right?”

That was a statement backed by confidence.

Because, as Kyle said, the results have come this way.

But I still didn’t get it.

A mere commoner, a woman at that, saying this while Kyle responds with that carefree smile.

“Are you really okay with that, Young Master? What if I end up saying I don’t like you afterward…?”

“Then I’ll just come closer again.”

Kyle’s words left me speechless.

“So when do we start? Can we start now?”

“… Let’s start from tomorrow.”

If we started right now… I would probably lose my mind.

Even now, my heart races like crazy.

If Kyle suddenly said or did something strange right now…

“If we start right now… I really wouldn’t know what would happen.”

“….”

Really.

If he suddenly hugged me right now and whispered sweetly…

I’d truly lose it.

“Then let’s just keep it like today until the end of the day. From tomorrow…”

“Yes. Just do as you wish, Young Master.”

Feeling embarrassment while saying this… was it my problem, or Kyle’s?

I don’t know.

Thus, the day began.

Kyle, perhaps to prepare for a proper start tomorrow, didn’t say anything particularly weird or do anything like hugging or holding hands.

Just as he usually did.

To be precise, he acted like he had before the princess came.

It wasn’t bad.

It was nice to see him act similarly to how he did before confessing.

But it felt a bit lacking.

I wasn’t sure where it felt insufficient, but I sensed a void.

“…”

“Sofia?”

“Ah, yes.”

I must have spaced out while thinking.

Suddenly, why am I getting all these random thoughts?

When I snapped back to reality, Kyle was not as close to me as usual.

Recently, Kyle had been coming significantly closer, but today was different.

Was it because of our morning conversation?

“Shall we just have a meal together for a change?”

“A meal?”

We were in the castle.

There wasn’t really any reason to go out, and we had work to take care of here.

So why was he suddenly asking to eat?

“I just haven’t had a meal with you lately. Want to join?”

“But the Duke and Lady Adela are here.”

“It’s okay. It’s not even the usual meal time, so it’s fine if we eat together.”

“Is that so…?”

When was the last time I had a meal with Kyle at the castle?

Probably the last time I got injured.

Ever since then, I could eat in the servants’ dining room.

“Then…”

Just this once wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Since Kyle suggested it…

It should be fine.

So we headed towards the Dining Hall from the Library together.

Kyle asked the castle chefs for a few menu options, and soon the meal was ready.

“How’s the food?”

“It tastes even better because it’s been a while.”

“Right?”

Kyle said with a smile.

Tomorrow, how should I see Kyle?

A lover…

“What do we do starting tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.”

I really didn’t know.

Although I suggested we try dating for a little while, I had no clue what to do or how to proceed.

All I knew was that I was an idiot.

“Just do whatever you want, Young Master.”

“…”

I’ve never dated anyone.

I’ve never had a romantic relationship or gone on a date.

Maybe Kyle knows better than I do.

And though I have no plans, Kyle has his own schedule.

“I don’t know anything, so just do as you like.”

Kyle would know how to make things work.

Probably.


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