“I want my own room.”
Amor declared.
Every word slowly and clearly stuck in Judas’s ears.
He had been prepared for this day.
He had known it would come someday.
He also knew that he was already past the age to have a separate room.
Since Amor hadn’t said anything until now, he had just been at ease.
But most things in life are like that.
They come unannounced without considering the feelings of the person involved.
“Uh, um…”
While Judas was flustered, Donum asked.
“Why?”
He asked purely out of curiosity.
Donum didn’t feel the need to have a separate room from his parents yet.
He preferred to sleep with his mom and dad.
In that commotion, Eliya quickly came to a conclusion.
“Okay.”
She understood and accepted the situation right away.
“If Amor wants it, then that’s how it should be.”
A big reason wasn’t needed.
If the child wants something, they should provide it.
Unless it’s something immoral or illegal, there’s no reason for parents to refuse.
“But, we only have empty rooms, and we need to choose and fill them with furniture now. Should we go look together with Mom?”
“Uh, okay….”
Eliya took Amor out with her.
Meanwhile, Judas just sat there blankly.
While Spei poked at the dazed Judas, he tilted his head in confusion.
“…Did Dad die?”
Donum and Fides from the side poked at Judas the same way.
“Really!”
Judas couldn’t regain his composure for a while.
*
Eliya quickly grasped and understood Amor’s state.
‘Is this a kind of puberty?’
Until now, Amor’s world had been extremely small.
Family was everything.
Including Maria and Gallahaid.
The guards who came to visit could also be considered part of the family.
But today, as they went to the Academy, the world changed.
She was exposed to many people quickly, learned about them, and accepted that they would be her companions moving forward.
The foundation of the world that Amor recognized expanded in an instant.
Now, Amor was straddling the familiar safe boundary, and the unfamiliar new outside.
She was transitioning from a child dependent on her parents to a solid adult.
It was natural for her to need time to think alone.
Also, she needed her own living space.
In fact, she thought she would ask for a separate room a bit earlier.
There are four empty rooms on the second floor of the Sky Palace.
She had been preparing to give one to Amor anytime, but the independence came later than Eliya had expected.
Perhaps because they loved and cherished her so much, she enjoyed sleeping sandwiched between herself and Judas until this age.
So, maybe that’s why her independence was delayed.
Eliya took Amor to a furniture store.
This place is responsible for all the furniture used in the Royal Palace.
“I would love to have it custom-made, but that takes time. If you want to use the room starting today, you need to choose from what’s already been made.”
Eliya purposely walked half a step ahead.
What Amor needed right now was alone time. A separate space.
She couldn’t hold hands and walk together as usual.
Amor felt grateful inwardly for Eliya’s consideration.
As they walked together, she looked at the beds.
She honestly didn’t care much about what bed it was.
It just needed to be good for her alone.
Even so, she couldn’t carelessly choose anything because the image of Dazed Judas was still lingering in her mind.
‘Does Dad dislike me having my own room?’
Eliya’s sudden thought crept in.
“How was the Academy?”
Since she declared her independence right after returning from the Academy, there hadn’t been time to converse about her first impressions of the school.
Although it was a sudden everyday question, their conversation flowed smoothly.
“Um…. It was a strange and unfamiliar place. Particularly the atmosphere, I guess. People gathered like that, and there were only kids my age….”
“Did you greet your future friends well?”
“At first, they approached me like I was a princess, which was a bit overwhelming, but I think I did okay.”
“That’s good to hear. Do you have anything specific you want to learn?”
“I’m not sure yet…. Just various things. I want to learn and experience a lot.”
That answer matched perfectly with the purpose of the Academy’s establishment.
To experience and learn many things and discover what one wants to do.
Eliya smiled gently.
“That’s right. Just do as you want. So, Dad doesn’t need to worry.”
“……”
The mother walking half a step ahead seemed to know everything already.
“It’s just that I love you so much, and I was a bit surprised with this unexpected turn of events.”
Eliya’s calm demeanor and tone weren’t indifference.
She had just been preparing for this day for a long time.
Judas had been prepared too.
But he was flustered when it actually happened right in front of him.
“Our daughter is smart, so she knows what I mean, right?”
Amor fully understood Eliya’s words.
Not worrying meant not ignoring her feelings.
It meant not losing sight of her own desires and emotions while concerning herself with her parents.
Her mixed emotions faded away.
She smiled and replied.
“Yeah, Mom.”
From then on, choosing furniture to go in Amor’s room proceeded quickly.
By the time they returned to the Royal Palace, Judas had gathered his thoughts and accepted it as well.
He didn’t ask why Amor wanted independence.
He wasn’t even curious.
This was simply a natural occurrence.
An event that happens as children grow up.
In the first place, it wasn’t even about true independence.
They were merely moving to a neighboring room.
He admitted he had been excessive.
“I wasn’t sure what to put in the room…. So for now, I chose the teddy bear Amor likes and a few books. What else would be needed?”
While looking at her dad, who was hugging a massive teddy bear under one arm and holding a bundle of books in the other, Amor couldn’t help but smile.
She felt relieved to the point of the effort she had placed melting away.
Amor accepted the stuffed toy from him.
“I think this is enough for now. Thank you, Dad.”
“Ah, it’s nothing.”
Judas helped rearrange the furniture in the room.
Since Eliya had teleported everything, they just needed to adjust it slightly.
Thanks to Eliya and Amor quickly finishing cleaning while they were away, the room was organized in no time.
A wide bed, a study desk and chair.
A bookshelf and a wardrobe set up in Amor’s own room.
Amor smiled in satisfaction.
But that satisfaction didn’t last long.
Problems arose that same night after she got her new room.
*
Amor curled up under her blanket, tightly closing her eyes.
It was hours past her bedtime.
But she couldn’t fall asleep.
Her heart raced so fast it was actually tough.
‘I’m scared…!’
Amor had always fallen asleep with her family.
From the time she could walk and talk, she loved sleeping snuggled in between Judas and Eliya.
That meant tonight was her first time sleeping alone.
The dark room was excessively quiet.
So much so that she could hear her own breathing loudly.
Occasionally startled by the sound of the wind blowing outside or the rustling of grass.
Amor squeezed the arms of her giant teddy bear tight.
The more she tried to fall asleep, the further away drowsiness seemed.
‘I shouldn’t be like this….’
She had boldly declared her independence.
She felt good reading a book alone after dinner.
It was more refreshing than when she first entered the Academy.
Her own space unbothered by anyone.
She even felt like she was becoming an adult.
Until she exchanged goodnights with Judas and Eliya just earlier, she felt good.
But the moment she turned off the lights and lay down, fear crept in.
The warmth of her parents holding her beside her.
The sound of her siblings breathing. The noise of them tossing and turning.
Occasionally running around at night or climbing on top of the family to play and disturb their sleep…those memories began to resurface one by one.
It felt pitiful somehow.
She could just go next door.
‘I need to endure…. I have to keep sleeping alone from now on.’
She decided to be independent.
She had to take responsibility for that decision.
Amor wanted to be someone that could bear that responsibility.
In the end, she sacrificed her composure and couldn’t manage to sleep all night.
In truth, she didn’t yet know that it wasn’t too different from pride.
*
“Amor. Are you okay?”
At the breakfast table the next morning.
Judas asked.
“Yeah….”
Amor weakly nodded.
“You look like you didn’t sleep well. Is something on your mind?”
“No, not really….”
She was too scared to admit she couldn’t sleep.
Amor ended up mumbling her answers.
“Is it okay….”
Judas murmured as he observed Amor forcing a smile at her siblings.
Eliya soothed him from the side.
“It can happen when you change your sleeping environment for the first time. You’ll be okay.”
“Um…. I hope it’s just a temporary thing.”
However, Amor’s condition didn’t seem to improve at all.
Even when they said it was okay to speak her worries, she just continued to say no.
Thus, on the third day after Amor had declared her independence.
“Amor.”
Knock, knock.
Judas knocked on Amor’s door and said.
“It’s time for dinner.”
Silence.
There was no response from inside.
Judas knocked again.
“Amor? Are you sleeping?”
She looked tired lately, so maybe she chose sleep over food.
“If that’s the case, maybe it’s better to choose sleep instead of eating.”
“Ugh….”
Unsettled images flashed through Judas’s mind.
Humans are very fragile.
They can die or get hurt more easily than expected.
They can be seriously injured or die from things that are ridiculously trivial.
For example, if one slips and falls headfirst, they could die.
Babies who can’t flip can smother themselves and die if they lie face down into the pillow.
Even though he knew it was excessive worry, Judas couldn’t dismiss it.
Sweat began to form on his back in an instant.
‘What if something happens to Amor….’
What if she fell asleep unbeknownst to her and collapsed? What would he do?
Judas stifled his breathing and knocked harder than before.
“Amor. Is something wrong?”
Still, there was no answer.
He pressed his ear against the door.
Maybe she was just taking a shower.
His unusually keen hearing caught the sounds from beyond the door.
It was silent.
‘If she’s sleeping, let me just check and then leave.’
At this point, he couldn’t endure his unease anymore.
Judas finally said, “Amor. Dad is going to come in for just a moment.”
Click.
As he slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside, Judas finally felt relieved.
Amor was asleep, sprawled atop her desk.
With books and papers as her pillow, it looked like she had dozed off while reading and writing something.
“Phew….”
With a deep sigh, he released his tension.
He couldn’t help but chuckle.
‘What a worry….’
As he was about to leave her be and turn back, Amor’s eyes opened.
Slowly revealing red eyes found Judas.
“Did I wake you, Dad? Um, it’s just… it’s dinner time, so I called for you, but you were so quiet that….”
As Judas stammered, Amor’s gaze flickered swiftly.
She glanced at him, then at the letter she had been writing before she fell asleep.
A wave of anxiety struck her; did Dad see this?
That worry came out in an unexpected manner.
Without realizing it, Amor spoke up.
“Why did you come into my room without permission!”
“Ah….”
*
Judas quickly apologized and exited.
Amor listened as the sound faded away, wrapping her head in her arms.
‘I didn’t mean for that to happen….’
She never intended to shout. Really.
It was embarrassing but also somewhat understandable.
He was probably just worried since she hadn’t responded when she fell asleep.
She understood everything, but she yelled anyway.
Amor’s gaze landed on the paper she had left on the desk.
It contained what she’d been writing before she stopped.
It wasn’t just studying.
It was a letter for Judas and Eliya.
Since starting school and having her own room, Amor began to feel gratitude towards her parents.
As her recognition of the world expanded and differentiated, she realized how cozy and peaceful her previous life had been.
She had declared her independence because she couldn’t depend on them like a child anymore.
And it was her heart that had begun to write a letter.
She had even written during the night when she couldn’t sleep.
Since she couldn’t sleep in the Academy, she stayed wide awake during the day.
Then at home, she referenced the dictionary and continued writing until she dozed off.
The idea of Judas seeing her letters unnerved her.
That’s why her loud outburst happened.
“Phew….”
Amor let out a deep sigh.
She had made a mistake.
So, she should just apologize.
But what if he didn’t accept her apology?
Dad had always been lenient with her, treating her with love no matter what happened.
Would that still be the case?
She shook her head and steadied her heart.
The outcome wasn’t a matter for her to ponder.
What she needed to do now was clear.
She had made a mistake, so she should apologize.
Amor decided to write the letter again.
If it had been her younger self, she wouldn’t have thought this deeply.
She would have just cried and apologized to Judas right away.
But Amor thought deeply.
She considered what she said.
The feelings Judas must have had upon hearing it.
She was trying to empathize with others and examining it rationally.
That was a sign she was growing up.
Imagining herself in another’s position.
However, since Amor was still a child, she hadn’t realized that essence herself.
She repeatedly wrote and erased the letter multiple times.
The path to adulthood was long and arduous.
*
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
Eliya patted Judas’s glum backside to console him.
She could gather from his despondent voice what had happened.
“When someone unexpectedly enters a space they thought was their own, it’s natural to be surprised. And Amor hasn’t been sleeping well lately, so she was likely more sensitive and on edge than usual.”
Judas merely nodded.
“This was ultimately my fault for entering without permission…. So, it’s really my mistake.”
It was sad, and responsibility needed to be established.
Regardless of the intention, he had opened the door without Amor’s permission.
He had no excuse for that.
Still, the scene of that angelic Amor shouting would not leave his mind.
He didn’t believe Amor’s personality had changed for the worse.
‘After all, temperament can shift due to many factors at that age… and at that stage, hormones can cause them to become more sensitive and irritable than their true selves….’
He actively tried to reassure himself inwardly.
As Eliya soothed him, patting and ruffling his hair, she suddenly spoke up.
As if trying to comfort the dejected child with a treat,
She wanted to offer him something he liked.
“Want a chest rub?”
Judas bit his lip to hold back laughter but couldn’t help but let his smile peek through.
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