The indefinite dispatch heading towards the Knight’s Tomb.
Why did Eliya suddenly make such a decision?
What was the reason for choking me that day?
I still know nothing.
So…
“Miss, can we talk?”
First, I need to understand something.
*
Eliya didn’t respond immediately to my question.
She just stared silently.
It’s a technique she often uses to pressure someone.
The silence of an authority figure.
She’s never used it on me before.
I didn’t dodge and met her gaze directly.
“Huuh.”
Eventually, she sighed as if it were bothersome and gestured to Ria.
To leave.
Ria quietly left the office.
Only after the door closed did Eliya finally speak.
“What do you want to talk about?”
The voice that returned was chillingly cold.
“This dispatch order. What does it mean?”
“It means just what it says. I don’t suppose you can’t read?”
“…Miss, do you really think I came here because I couldn’t read the contents?”
“That’s the only thing I can think of.”
The Knight’s Tomb.
The location is Bethany.
Going there for deployment is a punishment for sin, and an indefinite dispatch is no different from a death sentence.
Of course, there are few people who follow such dispatch orders blindly.
Most try to escape halfway through.
So, there are two possibilities.
One, the owner uses physical force to send a target to Bethany.
Wishing for a complete and painful death.
And the second.
Issuing a deployment order and neglecting whether the target goes or not.
Meaning it doesn’t matter if they live or die.
I am the latter.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No.”
“Then what exactly do you want from me to treat me like this?”
“Judas, clarify what you desire. What kind of answer are you looking for?”
“…….”
I momentarily set aside the question that surged up to my lips.
It’s not the kind of thing to bring up in this situation.
Eliya is right.
I must clearly express what I want.
“Do you wish for me to die?”
“…….”
“Am I no longer needed?”
“Hmm.”
Eliya tapped the table a few times.
Resting her chin in her hand, she gazed out the window with a blank expression before answering.
“Yes.”
“…….”
“Was that an answer?”
“…No. It’s hard to understand. It doesn’t logically make sense. Don’t we need every man we can get?”
“That’s true.”
“But you want to dismiss me in that situation?”
Eliya squinted her eyes and leaned back in her chair.
She then slowly opened her eyes while looking at the ceiling.
To me, it seemed like a reaction that deemed it a bother to even explain.
“Eliya, do you know about the first scripture?”
“…?”
“It says something like this: the twisted sun, in pursuit of its completeness, longs for the moon and will eventually devour it.”
It’s a bit different from what I heard from Priest Aquinas five years ago, but it’s roughly similar.
“You may not know it, but I’ve been absorbing your power all this time. That mana resembling the moon.”
“…….”
“And the insane fire I possess constantly tests my aggressiveness. However, with your power, I was able to calm it down and manage it.”
“So, do you mean that you’re…”
“But now, I no longer need you.”
Eliya said that indifferently.
Her gaze fixed outside the window.
Her attitude seemed like she found explaining even this to be a hassle.
“I already have enough power on my own. I don’t need the troublesome military. What’s important isn’t that, but as I said, your presence calms my aggressiveness. In other words.”
Her gaze returned to mine.
Her red eyes looked at me lazily.
In contrast, her voice grew cold.
As if cutting a continuing line.
“Your existence is a hindrance to me.”
“……”
“When you’re around, my insides settle down. That shouldn’t happen. In a position that requires war, I can’t afford to have my aggressiveness stifled.”
Eliya shrugged.
“That’s the reason. It’s just that you have a bothersome weakness, so I want to eliminate it. You’re not just unnecessary; you’re a hindrance.”
“So… That’s why you tried to choke me?”
“…Ah, I didn’t realize you were awake. I acted without thinking back then. But upon reflection, it didn’t seem right.”
Eliya looked at me and smiled.
Not a sweet smile, but a cold and sinister grin that concealed her true intentions.
Long ago, I thought that expression suited her best.
Now, that terrifying smile that has become unfamiliar to me looks upon me.
With the face of the bad woman I once fearfully imagined.
“I’ve worked hard all this time, so you should at least be granted minimal honor. This deployment order is that consideration.”
“……”
“Do you understand it now?”
“I still don’t. Is my weakened mana the cause?”
“Hmm.”
Eliya’s calm gaze swept over my body.
Then she shrugged again.
“Not particularly. I told you, you yourself are an obstacle to me. Whether you weaken or not in that situation is irrelevant to me.”
“Then why care for my mana….”
“Considering you were my escort knight, if you die too easily after going to Bethany, it would tarnish my reputation. That’s all there is to it.”
“……”
I grasped my throbbing forehead.
“The way you acted during the founding ceremony….”
Eliya interrupted my words with a sigh.
“I was just trying to use you. At that time, I hadn’t absorbed your power fully yet. After all, we are merely in a contractual relationship, right?”
“…Is that so?”
“I won’t interfere whether you go to the deployment site or try to escape midway. But I would prefer if you would die. It would be troublesome if I needed your sedative during the war.”
“……”
I released a deep sigh.
Should I say it or not?
There’s a question I’ve hesitated about for a long, long time.
Even now, I hesitate.
Still, if not now, I feel like I might never confirm it.
I should say it.
“…I thought you liked me.”
My voice trembled slightly.
I felt miserable.
It was both amusing and childish.
As if I were whining like a child.
Yet, I couldn’t ignore the issue with her leaving.
Pathetically, even in this situation, I worried about her.
Sardis.
I was concerned that my question might remind her of the trauma from her childhood.
Eliya’s crying face back then, her trembling body, and the aftermath vividly linger in my memory.
But my concern was hardly a worthwhile emotion.
The corner of Eliya’s mouth twitched.
The expression she wore in response to my question was a sneer.
With only one corner of her mouth lifted, she laughed.
“I told you, I was just trying to use you. All of it was crafted so you’d misunderstand and be confused. I’ve learned that men are easy to handle like this.”
“……”
I thought there might be a misunderstanding.
That I could never mention some reason.
I too was clumsy, thinking it was a mistake.
So, I believed I could resolve this through conversation.
But I was wrong.
The conclusion that conversation brought out wasn’t what I’d anticipated.
Reason and emotion.
I couldn’t persuade Eliya in any domain or penetrate her heart.
But I truly…
“I…”
I was about to say something but chuckled bitterly.
What was I doing now that it had all ended?
With a wry smile, I wiped my face once.
Eliya just looked at me with her emotionless red eyes.
With her being so stubborn, what would my words mean?
“That’s it.”
I removed the ornament pinned to my shirt collar.
A small gem shining red like her eyes.
A symbol of an escort knight.
I placed it on her desk.
“To have served you.”
I took off the necklace.
An artifact meant to help us reach each other whenever we want.
Now I no longer needed to carry it.
I set the necklace down as well.
“It was an honor.”
Lastly, I bowed politely.
She looked at me with indifferent eyes until the end before nodding toward the exit.
I complied without hesitation.
There were no options.
With no options, I tried to avoid the tragedy that led me to such an utterly absurd conclusion.
Suddenly, this reality seemed amusing.
In a twist of fate, I had been chased away by her after wanting to escape.
*
Click.
The door quietly closed as Judas stepped outside.
Eliya stared at the door with an indifferent gaze.
His footsteps grew distant.
Hearing that sound, Eliya bit her lip tightly.
The smooth mask shattered in an instant.
Forcing herself to hold her breath, she covered her face with both hands.
Her palms grew damp with the tears seeping from her eyes.
‘Hold on… Hold on… I have to hold on… You did well, Judas, you did well without noticing…’
Wearing a mask is easy.
Having worn it for so long, she could no longer distinguish between her bare face and the mask.
She thought so.
But in front of Judas, she had long been wearing the mask.
For so long that she couldn’t even remember when she first put it on.
She had nearly revealed her bare face several times.
Each time, Eliya either averted her gaze, closed her eyes, or sighed to evade the crisis.
She worked tirelessly to prevent the mask from breaking in front of him.
The result was.
Success.
Though that word conveys a feeling entirely unbefitting, it was indeed a great success.
As it must be.
She had predicted everything he might ask or be curious about and prepared answers as well.
She had practiced countless times for this day.
And in reality, Judas brought forth everything she had anticipated.
Even the question she didn’t want to hear appeared, transparently honest as he never concealed it.
Unlike her.
‘I thought you liked me.’
She had prepared an answer for that too.
However, she didn’t have the confidence to answer it plainly.
What if she truly blurted out that question?
She worried a lot.
A lump rose in her throat, but she managed to transform it into a sneer.
Her voice didn’t tremble, and her prepared lie rolled off her tongue perfectly.
She hid the truth that her feelings matched his deep inside.
She was thankful that he had his eyes closed when she climbed on top of him.
She genuinely hadn’t realized he was awake.
Had she seen the crazed eyes glowing with madness and his bewildered expression, she might have doubted the reaction he showed today.
Really, it was fortunate.
She wondered if it was right to see this situation as fortunate.
‘No, it went well… This is it…’
She understood Judas’s heart.
She hadn’t understood it in the past, but now there was no way she couldn’t.
Upon realizing her feelings, it was as if fruit ripened abundantly; she equally grasped Judas’s feelings.
It wasn’t just about what happened during the founding ceremony.
She knew well the emotions she had accumulated over the past five years.
How deeply they had colored one another.
That is precisely why it had to be severed all the more coldly.
Though he seemed to possess a dirty personality, the foolishly kind Judas had to do this.
She even had to hide the truth that he might die.
Knowing his character, he would likely try to stay by her side even if it meant death.
When she clawed at him with harsh words, her heart was torn apart along with it.
Before they knew it, they had become each other’s other names.
Yet, it had to be done.
This was almost an obligation.
Being by her side put Judas in danger.
Not only due to the war’s repercussions.
She might end up killing him.
Eliya confirmed that repulsive nature in herself and accepted it with a miserable heart.
When war erupted, she would undoubtedly continue casting large and powerful spells.
In her madness, she would seek out Judas.
And then again, she would cause him pain.
If she kept absorbing his power until he was completely drained, he might die.
She would end up killing him.
Hiding him in a cage at the foot of the mountain would be meaningless.
Eliya understood.
She couldn’t control herself around him.
As long as she knew his whereabouts, she would likely visit him impulsively at any time.
The likelihood was very high.
So, it was best to send him far away to a place she didn’t know.
Because she had become a human danger for him.
‘You mustn’t weaken… You mustn’t weaken…’
Reiterating those words, she steadied her heart.
He probably wouldn’t go to Bethany.
She hoped he would drop out halfway through.
She wished he would stay alive somewhere, anywhere, she knew nothing about.
The words “I hope you die” were all lies.
He must never find out.
SDVIMVFoanVzY1YwSVhjamMzUkt1WXQ3dmY3UHpGd29SZXJNc21uQ3V3Uk1WcGNpRkxTNmxxRVV4ZHpYUjMyaA
‘…I mustn’t weaken.’
The first priority is to destroy the Bevel family.
There is no reason for Judas to be sacrificed in that task.
“Huuh…”
With a sigh, she opened her eyes.
What came into view were the red cuffs and golden necklace.
What Judas left behind.
“……”
Tears welled up again, forcing her to shut her eyes tightly.
She hurriedly stood up and went to the window.
Below.
She saw Judas preparing to leave.
He was saying goodbye to the personal guard.
‘With this, it’s all done… Death to the Bevel family is all that matters to me… This is it.’
He grew more distant.
Five years. The time she spent with him.
Looking back, it was a dazzling and colorful period.
As precious as her childhood spent with her mother.
That rapid five years filled with memories and newfound feelings was slipping away.
It felt as if a stake was driven through her heart, penetrating it.
It hurt, yet didn’t hurt.
That place felt completely empty.
She had already let go of her entire life once, and now she was in the process of letting go for a second time.
Yet, she couldn’t break down.
She mustn’t weaken.
She clung tightly to that conviction, trying to hold herself together.
As he was about to leave, Hermis blocked Judas’s path.
It seemed like they were going to exchange farewells.
Eliya widened her eyes before abruptly pulling the curtains shut.
Her jaw trembled, biting her lips tightly.
She clenched her hands, bracing against the window frame.
“Ugh… Huh!”
Eventually, she couldn’t restrain the surging emotions.
With a window between them, Eliya cried for quite some time.
Unaware that Judas was glancing up at the window from beyond the curtains.
Support me by donating at least $10, and you'll have the right to request any novel from Novelpia (excluding 19+ content) using a newly developed tool.
