“Sophia, what are you doing?”
“Uh, what?!”
“I mean, you’ve been quiet for a while.”
“Oh.”
I was amazed that five days had already passed since the festival while I was still deep in thought all alone.
If I had known it would come to this, I should have set my goals properly from the start.
How did I end up deciding to come to a conclusion by the end of the festival?
Was it really that I had a poor sense of time?
“I just have something on my mind.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, just thinking for a moment. Why?”
By the way, why did I suddenly call out to him?
It’s not that I didn’t want to, but going from a quiet room to calling him out of nowhere gave me a little shock.
For reference, we were taking a break to enjoy the remaining two days, so we were resting in the castle.
Other people were probably taking a break today too.
Aside from coming out to eat, they were likely relaxing today.
“I’m going to take a shower; do you want to join me?”
“….”
There was no problem with showering together.
I mean, it felt really embarrassing, and being in the shower together did make my mind wander, but I didn’t have any aversion to the act itself.
It wasn’t like this was the first or second time I had showered with Kyle.
But right now, it was complicated in various ways.
I realized that what I was doing was different from before, and it felt weird.
I realized I might have been doing something wrong with Kyle.
“I’ll shower a little later. You go ahead.”
“Okay.”
Fortunately, Kyle didn’t seem to notice my situation.
Right, it’s better he doesn’t know.
It’s better that Kyle doesn’t realize that I’m having these thoughts.
“Sigh….”
Am I really in love with Kyle? I started to ponder to get a definite answer.
For a reason that was supposed to clarify my feelings, I wasn’t acting according to my original intent at all.
I just spent time with Kyle, laughed, and enjoyed myself.
“It seems like Kyle likes someone….”
Luckily, Kyle didn’t seem to dislike these kinds of relationships yet.
If it were me, I would have definitely acted differently.
I wouldn’t have been able to settle for such an ambiguous relationship and would have made a mess of things.
Men, well… it’s pretty tough to hold back, right?
In various ways, it’s different from women.
I used to be a man in my previous life, and now being a woman in this life, I understand that well.
Well, it’s not like I had a girlfriend in my previous life, but still, I remembered that it was hard for men to hold back.
“If I were Kyle, I would’ve 100% gone for it.”
Kyle had never actually made a move, though.
He has pushed me down suddenly, but it wasn’t in that sense.
How did he hold back?
Wait, could it be that I don’t look attractive to Kyle? “….” No, that can’t be it.
Louise said men liked big breasts, and Kyle said he liked me, so there shouldn’t be a reason for me to be seen as unattractive.
“My breasts are this big.”
I lifted my breasts with my hand.
Yeah, they’re definitely big.
With just one hand, they can barely fit, after all.
In my life, I haven’t really seen anyone bigger than me, so maybe I am attractive enough.
“But really, has he never…?”
Has Kyle never made a move on me?
That was puzzling in many ways.
Well, considering we aren’t officially dating, I didn’t have to think about it.
*
“Kyle, can I ask you something?”
Kyle had showered, and after that, I returned to my room alone.
Now, I was starting to feel comfortable in Kyle’s room.
Of course, it felt even more familiar because Kyle was here.
“Yes, of course.”
What I wanted to ask Kyle was simple.
It was something I had been thinking about when he was showering.
Of course, if I asked directly, Kyle might think I was strange, so I softened the question a bit.
“Kyle, do you find me unattractive?”
“…What?”
“I mean, I’m just curious.”
Asking why he hasn’t made a move was definitely out of the question.
It was clearly a no-go.
It would be like hitting a baseball straight into the pitcher’s glove the moment the bat connected.
“I mean, these days, you’re not really trying to get close like before!? So I’m just asking!”
I added a reason so Kyle wouldn’t think anything weird.
In reality, he hasn’t been as affectionate or tried to get close to me as he did before.
So I simply asked that.
“Sophia, didn’t you say something similar before?”
“…Did I?”
“You said something along those lines before.”
I don’t remember.
I must have asked it in a different way.
Surely, I must’ve said something strange again.
“So, what do you think?”
“If Sophia has no attractiveness, there’s no reason for me to like you.”
“Uh, we’ll… is that so?”
It wasn’t the answer I wanted, but it wasn’t unpleasant either.
Of course, I didn’t ask to hear this response, but… it felt nice to hear.
“So…? What’s attractive about me?”
“Your looks are always my type, and your personality is so great that it’s almost a shame to even try to describe it. I’ve thought of you as a good person since we were kids.”
“Huh…? Is that it?”
What Kyle said was more than enough.
What counts as enough, I don’t even know, but I wanted to hear more.
It’s not weird; hearing compliments always makes you feel good.
Just like a dog wags its tail when you praise it, right?
It’s similar.
Sitting on the bed, I was slightly looking forward to what Kyle would say next.
If he were to end it here, I would feel a bit disappointed.
“I don’t know why you’re asking suddenly, but we still have plenty of time, right?”
“Ah, really? Then tell me again. We decided to rest in the castle today anyway?”
Kyle and I had already promised each other.
Since we’ve been going out a lot lately, we decided to take the day to relax in the castle.
Hearing Kyle say it was because he was worried about my health made me feel good, but more so, I just wanted to hear Kyle talk.
“Huh? Come on, say more~!”
“Okay.”
Kyle seemed a bit flustered.
It seemed like he had some other intention, but I was so happy to hear Kyle’s words that I forgot all about it.
But right now, if I didn’t do this, I might never hear it.
“First of all, you definitely have a good head on your shoulders, but it’s cute how you have the weirdest thoughts sometimes. When you give silly answers out of the blue, I can’t help but laugh.”
“….”
“And also, it’s cute how you don’t seem to realize you’re attractive, or maybe you just forget, but being close to me in various ways makes it really hard to hold back.”
“…Huh?”
“Especially when you do something to me first and then get shy about it. That’s adorable.”
“….”
So Kyle saw me like that…? Aside from attractiveness, I was shocked to learn that I looked that way to Kyle.
And on top of that, I made him feel like he couldn’t hold back….
“Uh, wh-what’s so hard to hold back…?”
I asked cautiously.
I wasn’t trying to say anything weird; I was just genuinely curious about what Kyle meant.
“Sophia, it’s that part that’s hard to hold back.”
“Uh?”
Suddenly, Kyle, who had been sitting on a chair, stood up.
Then he slowly started making his way toward me, and I wondered why he was coming over.
Was there something he needed to do on the bed?
“What do you think?”
“Ah….”
Kyle suddenly came right close to me.
The me who had been chatting and laughing with him just a moment ago was now lying beneath him.
“What, Kyle…? Why are you suddenly like this?”
“Sophia, are you trying to seduce me?”
“Uh, me? Seduce you?”
“Why do you keep asking when you know what it is?”
“….”
I couldn’t argue against Kyle’s words.
I knew enough to understand what he meant while pretending to ask him.
Kyle didn’t explicitly say it, but I knew what he wasn’t saying through his words.
“….”
“Sophia, why are you silent?”
“Uh, well….”
I tried to answer, but Kyle was now right on top of me, making my heart race, and I couldn’t calm down.
My heart was racing like crazy.
Besides, it had been so long since Kyle had done this.
It wasn’t the first time I was in this position with Kyle.
I remembered when this had happened a few times before; it left an impression.
“Can I ask you something…?”
I carefully looked up at Kyle and asked.
If I spoke my real intentions, he might just… eat me alive or something.
“Ah….”
“Sophia, do you even realize how much I’ve been holding back?”
“Uh?”
“Every time you act like this, I just want to pounce on you but have been trying to hold back as much as possible.”
“Uh, really…?”
“Do you know why I haven’t made a move until now?”
“I… I don’t know.”
How would I know that?
I’m not Kyle, nor do I have any powers to read his mind.
Even if I did have such a power, it wouldn’t work in this situation.
In a situation where Kyle was looking down at me like that, no matter what, I couldn’t do a thing.
My heart was racing, my breathing quickened, my body felt frozen, and at the same time, it felt like my lower belly was trembling in this situation.
“First of all, I’m trying to stick to the rules I made with you that time, and I want to engage in other matters after we have a more proper relationship.”
“….”
“Was that a somewhat proper answer?”
“…Yeah.”
To be honest, what he said about keeping the rules we made before mattered less to me than what came next.
The “other matters” were definitely something else in my mind.
It was surely the kind of naughty things.
At least I had achieved the purpose of my initial question.
And simultaneously, the thought that if I accepted Kyle, those ‘other matters’ would also begin to take shape in my mind.
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